Local "Church" Raises $150,000 Impersonating Rapper Master P. in Scam Employs "Crackheads", "ex-Felons", & Welfare Recipients

Make 'Em Say What Tha F@%k!

The city of Memphis TN. has a huge problem with panhandlers [watch this]. So much so, that they recently passed a new ordinance to which the "lemme hold a dollar man," has to adhere to; no seriously, it's really that bad.

Now, I don't have a problem with people begging for money. And, for the most part depending on how I feel, I may "donate" without even questioning just where my money is going, and for what cause it's being used.

Yes, like you, I've questioned the genuineness of a solicitor for funds - be it the guy on the street, or someone calling me at home. But for the most part, it doesn't determine my willingness to give to the needy. And by needy I'm not talking about the guy with the whiskey stank breath either...

Because I'm a giver...!

Well, that is unless someone pulls off the ultimate scam that may piss you off; a scam much like my fellow Memphian, Alisa R. Harris of South Memphis was able to pull off, until being exposed. No seriously, this is a trip:


Well, you know they say the road to hell is paved with people with good intentions, bibles, Master P's cell phone service, and rusty No Limit platinum chains. So, naturally this being a city with an enormous panhandling problem located in the bible belt where there are churches on every corner...

It isn't surprising that someone here had the gall to go to the lengths as Harris has, to take advantage of poor folks as she has. The burning question I've had since seeing this story on my local news is: why Master P.? Sure he's obscure and forgotten, but why associate the name of his brother - Corey Miller aka C. Murder - with your organization when he's currently serving time for murder?

I'm gonna continue donating to the needy as I always have. I realize stuff like this happens all the time across the country. But the next panhandler I encounter downtown, I'mma make 'em say "uuuughhh!" And as for Alisa R. Harris? I guess the sistah is just "Bout It, Bout It" like that.

Hey, Quincy Jones: Who Stole Your Soul, Brother?

Dear Quincy Jones,

I know you're a musical genius and all; yes, you are in fact "The Dude". But today sir, in my mind's eye, you're an asshole for allowing T-Pain to remake Michael Jackson's "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)". What, did Michael Jackson owe you money? And is this how you get even?

No seriously, have you no soul, Quincy?

This is pure bullshit; and no, having Robin Thicke on the track makes it no better, Quincy. First off, nobody, and I mean nobody, should ever redo anything Michael Jackson has ever done. But, if you're gonna take a chance on pissing off more than a few people, did you have to have the auto-tune coon on the project?

I mean here I thought MC Hammer making a comeback by starting some bullshit beef with Jay-Z was bad. But now I get wind of this sacrilegious musical crime? But then I realized it was you Quincy who made this shit possible. Yep, and it was you who conveniently skipped out on MJ's memorial with a lame excuse.

Yes Quincy, did you think I forgot the shit you were talking about MJ right after his death? Yeah, I haven't forgotten, and I always thought that was a bitchass move, Quincy. Telling the media that Michael, "obviously didn't want to be black," while they all shit on him when his body wasn't even cold spoke volumes about you.

Hope the money is worth it, Quincy; and I also hope that should you decide to have somebody cover 'Billie Jean' in the near or distant future, that you do us a favor and at least see if they can fuckin hold a note, bitch.

Fantasia, Suicide, & the Natural Progression of Hoe-Shit

So Fantasia tried to kill herself; overdosed on Bayer Baby Aspirin is what I heard. See what happens when you can't read? Yeah I know that last line was fucked up; after all, the girl did try and kill herself. But I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time feeling any sympathy for her. Like Jay-Z said, "shit was allgood just a week ago," but now you wanna kill yourself because now the word is out that you've been having a relationship with a married man and there's a possible sex tape hiding in somebody's friggin closet?

Of course being sued by the wife of said married man  to the tune of $2,000,000 probably doesn't help matters, but, err, umm, I'm pretty sure Fantasia knew this cat was married once she decided to throw on her cape and tried to save-a-nigga, offering to buy him cars and taking him on trips to Barbados after meeting him in a T-Mobile store. So yeah, being outed and discussed in the blogosphere and in tabloids are a bitch, but kill yourself? And I'm supposed to feel sorry for you?

Ok, so let's play the pity party game: What if Fantasia was shot by the wife of the guy with whom she had relations, would you feel sorry for her? Not saying that shooting her is the right thing to do, but it happens. Hell, Steve McNair got fucking murked by the side-piece he was having an affair with unknown to his wife last year. Does the fact of Fantasia being a woman as opposed to Steve McNair make a difference? Hell no it doesn't! Did I feel sorry for him? Hell no I didn't! Did any of you?

No you didn't, and you all were stomping your feet and cheering while screaming, "that's what you get for cheating on your wife, nigga!" But yet I'm supposed to feel some-type-of-way because Fantasia Barrino figured the best thing to do was to go to sleep permanently? I'm sorry, but being exposed on some hoe-shit hardly qualifies as reason to kill yourself. Not that there's ever a good reason to kill yourself; but to do so because you've reached hoe status outside of the hood you grew up in; and, because your I-almost-lost-my house-to-foreclosure-ass, could possibly be forced to dish out loot to a jilted wife, clearly, is fucked up.

Period, point blank, it's selfish.

Tiger Woods quits golf? Oh well, they'll have a new n*gga next year

Tiger's latest "press release" about his "indefinite break" from golf is the dumbest thing ever. People may think it is noble of him to put his family first at a time like this given all that has happened. But the truth to me is that this is a well timed move all in an attempt to draw sympathy and shift focus from what we know about him right now. I think his decision especially reeks of sheer arrogance given the fact that he could have stood up as a man two weeks ago and faced this head on, rather than lie or attempt to dodge the bullets, but hey that's just me. Yep, great timing there good buddy!

First he said it was a private matter and that all the chatter around the internet about his "infidelity" were lies. Uh-huh, and I almost forgot to mention that his wife was courageous is using that golf club to bash the windows of his Escalade and pull him out from that twisted burning wreckage after he drove off a cliff on accident. Yep, after all of that he ran with that "stay the fuck outta my business," line. Now mind you, this Negro did all of this all on his website and never once with a mic in his face in the presence of any journalist.

What, did he think this shit was just gonna go away? I'm just sayin', he had to be a fool to think that some chick wasn't gonna save one of his used condoms to use as evidence someday should the word ever get out or she ended up on Maury - you know how Maury LOVES black babies. Oh I forgot, condoms gave him an adverse skin condition so he never wore them - yep, blame it on the latex Eldrick. And why do we now know this? Because as I said his punkass didn't stand up and like a man and say "Yeah I did it, and I'm sorry," at the outset.

Ultimately it would have been a move that would have prevented the three ring circus that his life had become in the public eye as the naked body count of women and affairs continues to rise. Oh and let's not forget to mention the nude photos of his little putter that are in the possession of some porn rag after he so wisely sent them to one of his concubines using a camera phone. Which now that I think about it, that may be the real reason he decided to take an "indefinite break" from the sport of golf.

Fall Of The Cablanasian Sensation.......

By Cruz

Soooooo, Tiger Woo is a big ole stankin cheatbag! well lookie lookie here....... Now I happen to be of the vagina persuasion and I'm not exactly all up in arms about this Tiger-gate thing as everyone else. I think as long as a man has a fully functional, adult sized penis where all the bells and whistles work (meaning it still skeets babies and such) that he might sometimes get a hankering for a cocktail waitress here and there. I mean he absolutely HAD to have a nanny so why not a waitress? I hear everyone saying "damn he coulda at least upgraded" but for what? and upgraded to who? a fellow pro athlete? a doctor? lawyer?

Tiger has no use for a woman of that caliber, in fact no cheating man does because that kind of woman more than likely has self esteem and the ability and desire to snag an unwed penis. Just like when Kobe stuck his 3 pointer in that 'towel girl/masseuse booty scratcher', of course he coulda done better, but better wants more shit and let's face it, a cheating pro athlete may have an abundant amount of cash to spend but he is very short on time or desire to wine and dine someone he's humping on the side.

Now what I love best about all this is the sex-ting:

"I will wear you out...when was the last time you got (bleeped)?"

"Send me something very naughty...Go to the bathroom and take (a picture)."

Say word Tiger! RRRRRGGHHHH!!! I mean that "wear you out" one gave me a girl woody like fa real fa real, who woulda ever thunk proper Tiger and his 400 teeth could utter such filth from his fingertips......... HOLE IN ONE!!! I hear that playa!

From where I stand, the Swedish nanny is one lucky broad. Her husband who is worth nearly a billion dollars cheated on her, she needs to be celebrating, this is a joyous occasion, IT'S A CELEBRATION BITCH!

I mean come on nanny lady, the man is worth a billion dollars, he can't sessy text a few undesireables every now and then?? Your're pretty tough on a brother aren't cha? I don't know how it goes down in Sweden but over here in the states us ladies see the value in being able to sit on our ass all day and get pregnant, we would never let some silly sexting get in the way of that, something tells me you have caught on to the ways of the worthless Amercan woman Swedish nanny and to that I say, good for you! I have a knack for getting cheated on by transit workers and church organ players and my consolation usually involves tears and a Subway sandwich, from where I'm sitting you are on Easy Street like a mug! Sheeeiiittttt........

Perhaps none of this is about money at all and you actually love the Tiger, I mean I don't wanna be a cynic just cause love keeps passing me by and shittin on my hopes and dreams, that's the last thing I wanna do. In the end it's between you and the 'man of many teeth', public opinion ain't worth squat but if you're reading this Tiger, just know that I woulda kept my mouth shut and it woulda only cost you a pound of the finest Peruvian weave and maybe a dime bag. It's the little things that bring me joy......



Want more from Cruz? Visit her at Witches Brew

BREAKING NEWS: Oprah Winfrey set to call it quits on daytime talk

Say it ain't so Harpo!How are you just gonna up and leave us like that?!! I loved you when you were fat!!! Yes, and I even overlook all the lesbian rumors. You're a Black woman doing ya thing and you made me proud Oprah:

CHICAGO -- Oprah Winfrey's production company says Winfrey will announce Friday that her talk show will end in 2011 after its 25th season on the air. Chicago-based Harpo Productions Inc. said Thursday night that the talk show host will give more details live on the "The Oprah Winfrey Show" broadcast Friday.

 Winfrey started her broadcasting career in Nashville, Tenn., and Baltimore, Md., before relocating to Chicago in 1984 to host WLS-TV's morning talk show "A.M. Chicago."

That show was renamed "The Oprah Winfrey Show" in 1985.

A year later, Winfrey established Harpo and her talk show went into syndication. In 1990, Winfrey opened Harpo Studios in Chicago's West Loop neighborhood. (source)

Oh lawd Jesus, what is we gon' do?!!! Oprah has been on TV for 25yrs, and has become the wealthiest Black women in America. Oprah has even little white girls wishing they could grow up to be Black and sucessful as her. Surely her show will forever be the standard by which all talk shows are measured, and I'm sure she will be missed by many. Maybe now she'll have time for her and I to get together and have kids.

Yes, I love Oprah Winfrey!

There I said it!

Yes, I love Oprah and I'm not ashamed of it.

Hell, everybody loves Oprah...

Well, probably not this guy:

Chris Brown: Larry King interview, good move or bad move? Tell me what you think - Mama Skorpion doesn't approve (funny vid)

So last night the world pretty much stopped because of the Chris Brown interview on Larry King Live. Ok, so no it didn't actually stop like the premiere of Michael Jackson's Thriller video, but it was damn close; everybody on twitter was up on it. I don't know if people were tuning in because word got out that Chris didn't remember the temper tantrum he threw which happened to involve Rhianna's face. But I know there were a lot of people ready and waiting to teleport, or project their hate into the TV screen. You know how America has to always have someone Black to hate every other month, right?

Like most of you, I wanted to see the interview. I tried watching it twice last night but I've yet to see it in it's entirety. I dunno, but for me I think the whole blue bow-tie, and blue sweater thing was a turnoff. No seriously, I saw his outfit and I felt it was a tragic example of what a young Black man has to do to win respect today. And I'm afraid that Chris has set some sort of precedence with his choice of wear. Yes, young Black men from here on out will all go to court dressed as Muslim Smurfs in an attempt to appear softer in the eyes of the law. Forget the traditional gang colors red and blue. Yes, Powder Blue is what's hot from here on out. Yes, from here on out that saggy pants hip hop thing is dead. Chris Brown has officially killed the game and we can expect powder blue wife-beaters (pun intended) to be all the rage. I can't help but to think that somewhere rapper Cam'ron is kicking himself in the ass for wearing pink instead of powder blue.

Did Chris manage to accomplish, or win people over this with this interview? Like I said, I've yet to see the interview in it's entirety so I cannot comment. I would say that he looked pretty nervous and dare I say even a bit angry at times. He really should have worked on that scowl. If you've seen the interview, tell me what you think, will you? My wife watched most of it and we've been talking about it quite a bit today. I'd like to hear your thoughts about it. In closing, I'll just say that I'm sick and tired of seeing Black men apologizing for shit on my TV every time I turn around. Hell, I'm still mad that "Hancock" had to apologize publicly before he went to jail. Yeah what Chris did was wrong, yes he has since put forth a formal apology while wearing one of Prince's blouses. To me, that should have been it. But I guess when everybody hates Chris as they do, an apology tour is to be expected. Hopefully Larry King is still alive when O.J. Simpson gets out of prison.

I can't wait to see the full interview...

but then again, knowing me, I'll probably get pissed like this lady....

BREAKING NEWS: Michael Jackson's doctor now a suspect in the murder of Tupac Shakur and The Notorious B.I.G.

Lets see, Michael Jackson has been dead for about 6mths now, he still hasn't been buried, and the coroners office just a couple of days ago said that they've concluded their investigation into the cause of death. Great, finally we can find out what exactly killed the man. Unfortunately for the world, the coroners office has yet to release it's findings and they have yet to do so under the instructions of the Los Angeles Police Department.

Well, according to them, they're still actively investigating Jackson's death as a homicide so therefore the results of the autopsy should be kept under wraps for now. You know what that tells me? That tells me that they're putting together an airtight case on Dr. Conrad Murray. Yep, I get the impression that they're not only getting all of their ducks lined up in a row, they're doing all they can to make sure this guy goes down and tie him to other crimes. If this Negro has warrants for unpaid jaywalking tickets he's going to do prison time.

I'm just sayin', we now know that this married doctor is behind on child support, has money problems, and is also an alleged Captain Save-A-Hoe. Yeah, "allegedly", Dr. Death has an arrangement with an ex-stripper he was courting on the side, with whom he has a love child; hey, you say "love child", I say "Champagne Room" baby.

Dr. Conrad Murray - under investigation for giving Jackson the anesthetic propofol - met Nicole Alvarez, 27, while she danced at the Vegas club Crazy Horse in December 2005, said ex-pal Ben Harris Jr.

Harris said he saw a $3,500 check Murray gave her after their first encounter during a weekend swing through Sin City.

"She came home the next morning excited," said Harris. "She woke me up - 'Boobie! Oh my goodness. I hit the jackpot.'"

He said Murray helped Alvarez move from her mom's rental to a posh Santa Monica pad and gave her a BMW.

"I rode in Murray's car and even helped Nicole spend his money," said Harris, who has written a manuscript about their escapades titled "A Lucrative Vengeance."

Alvarez declined to comment. A neighbor said she still lives in the apartment with her baby, Che Murray, born March 2.

A birth certificate first obtained by RadarOnline identifies Murray as the father. His lawyer declined comment. [source]

See? Why else would we know this type of information, but yet to know just exactly what killed Michael Jackson? I'm kinda tired of hearing about this guy's personal life to be honest with you and I wish they would just go ahead and arrest him already. But I've watched Law & Order and The First 48 on television a time or two and I understand that they need something solid on him.

I mean think about it: if Dr. Broke-Pimp was in such financial trouble as he was/is, having to support a "retired" stripper (which from what I hear is kinda expensive), why would he kill Michael Jackson even accidentally? Yep, where's the motive? Seems like as f*cked up as this guy was while MJ was alive he damn sure would have done all he could to keep his cash cow breathing. And you see, like me, the cops are smart so they're going to pin pretty much any unsolved murder on this guy in order for justice to prevail.

I mean c'mon, this is the King of Pop who's dead that we're talking about here. They cannot afford to let this guy slide as they did the leprechaun who killed Biggie and Tupac so they're going hard on this one. Yep, you know how the police love "sprinkling crack" on Black suspects. Don't be surprised if they implicate this guy in the assassination of John F. Kennedy as well. Yep, from here on out Dr. Conrad Murray will be implicated in all gang-related murders, drive-by shootings, and any car jacking which resulted in death in Los Angeles County. Hell, he just might be the reason the push for health care reform fails. You know how it is: always blame the Black guy.