Black Male Oedipus Complex

I don't know if it's just me, but Kanye West's song brings up memories of me dating black men who never stopped dating their mothers, and really never removed themselves off of the tit. I think I'm going to throw up as these flashes of men who had these bizarre pseudo-sexual, intimate relationships. This song is honestly raw and disturbing as it shows that Kanye is still a young boy trying to navigate his affections for his mother and his mother's affections for another male.

I never thought that a man calling his mother every night and regulating her evening activities was healthy. And real talk, I got a cousin who said his mother can never have a boyfriend. He's married with children and lives miles away, while she is alone and going through major health complications. So she's been dickless for about the last 15 years.

Interestingly, in time for father's day, I would like to thank all the men who planted seeds and left little black boys to create a manhood that was wrapped around their mother's frustrations from absentee father's and complicated dating life. And I want to congratulate all the mother's who kept their children from their father's as a tactic of vengeance due to a funky relationship with their baby's father.

All of you's who were raised by women, this is not a stab. Black women have raised millions of beautiful children. But I'm not going to front, some of my friends biggest pains are men who simply cannot let go of their mother's to develop an intimate relationship.

BTW, single mothers, your son is not your n*gga, and never will be. He is not the man of the house, and please let him be a child. But I forewarn you, don't take him anywhere near Eddie Long's church or Longfellow program.


Mama Jones Is The HBIC: "In this bonus clip from Episode 7 of Love & Hip Hop, Mama Jones is furious with curious for not giving her a heads up about the proposal!"

Black Male Employment Hits 40-Year Low: What's A Black Man To Do In This Economy?

"Do I gotta sell me a whole lotta crack, for decent shelter, and clothes on my back? Or should I just wait for help from Bush, or Jesse Jackson, and Operation Push." - Ice Cube, "Bird In The Hand"

I read a recent story in the Washington Post featuring a local Memphis kid, Kenneth Roberson, and his struggles to find employment. The dramatic irony or should I say the hard reality of this story, is that the young man featured happened to be a member of the graduating class of Memphis' Booker T. Washington High School, the school who won president Obama's Race To The Top commencement challenge. As the winner of said challenge, president Obama was the key note speaker at their commencement ceremony a few weeks ago. I watched the event myself, and I must say he left a group of kids in one of this cities most impoverished zip codes inspired and full of hope. However, as the saying goes: reality bites; and for ypung Black males like Roberson, that promising future looks rather bleak.

Just in case you haven't been paying attention to this site or any legitimate news source via the media, the economy, though slowly getting better, hasn't and isn't recovering fast enough. Unemployment is still relatively high; but you'd probably not know that considering all the talk of Medicare, Paul Ryan, deficits, and Sarah Palin's American short-bus tour. Yes folks, it's still pretty bad. Want to know how bad? OK, lemme tell you. According to the government reports, Black male employment has hit it's lowest levels in forty years. Did you get that? Black male unemployment has hit a forty year high.

If the election of America's first African-American president was expected to give blacks an economic boost, it hasn't emerged yet. Indeed, the percentage of African-American men with a job has dropped to its lowest level since records began in 1972, according to the government's monthly jobs report released last week.

Even as the economy added a better-than-expected 244,000 jobs, the percentage of black males over 20 who are currently employed dropped slightly to 56.9, the Labor Department's April report shows. For whites, the equivalent figure is 68.1 percent.

Before this recession, the percentage of black adult men with a job had never dropped below 60 percent, according to Labor Department statistics.

And among blacks, it's not just men who are suffering. Just 51.5 percent of African-Americans across the board--compared to 59.5 percent of whites--have a job, the numbers show. That's the lowest level for blacks since 1984. (That group includes 16- to 19-year-olds, who are employed at a far lower rate than their elders.)

These employment rates are calculated differently from the top-line unemployment rate, which includes only those actively looking for work, and inched back up last month to 9 percent.

[...] And employers' hiring practices may be making the problem worse. As we've reported, online job listings telling the unemployed not to apply have proliferated in recent years. The federal government is currently probing whether such listings illegally discriminate against African Americans, who are disproportionately likely to be among the jobless.

Nonetheless, much of the media has focused on the travails of educated white men--still a comparatively flourishing group--during the downturn. (source)

Look, the way I see it, there's nothing wrong with being hopeful as the young man featured in the Washington Post piece who even graduated in the top five of his class. Sure, he has a parial scholarship to attend college, and yes, his future may look brighter than others in his graduating class. But the truth is, hope doesn't pay the bills. And especially if you're a Black man with a family, or the responsibility of financially supporting and providing for your kids? Hope won't feed them, nor is hope acceptable by the child support court.

Yep, the child support man ain't tynna hear about how tough it is for brothas.

Oh, So Now I'm A "Bougie Bitch" Because I Hate Being Sexually Harassed By Black Men?

By Tracy Renee Jones

If you haven’t been to my post about sexual harassment, you might wanna check it out, read through the long winded arguments, and leave a comment. Really, the debate is still raging like a clergyman’s congregation. I was pleased to see the enthusiasm in the comments section. So much, verve these people have!

Due to the nature of the words I used in my post, some individuals accused me of classism. Apparently, my description of ‘a dirty day laborer’ was improper. Instead, I should have used ‘exceptionally soiled private contractor with hourly, easily negotiable rates’ as I then went on to describe my disgust at his looking at me while he played with his dick!

Truth be told, my issue with this man wasn’t his race, rather, I don’t dig men groping themselves in public, for one. And for two, I have a thing about a man’s hygiene and I probably wouldn’t consider a person that is not steadily employed with a timely paycheck though if I met him cleaned up at a social event and he was not playing with his pinga…who knows what might happen.

Rather than use the term ‘Nigger’ as I did in my initial post I presume I should have used the tried and true once size fits all (inter?) nationally accepted term of ‘African-American’, but in doing so, would I have left out the ‘Haitian-American’ men, the ‘Caribbean-American’ men, the ‘African’ men, and all others that look like Niggers but aren’t but who I meant to create a visual of by using this word.

If you cursed me, chased me, insulted or groped me and I left you out please let me know because I would hate to offend ‘you people’. I know how sensitive you all are about your heritage.

How does one group get to describe what is proper and improper for a group of people? In a country where we have freedom of speech, why should YOUR choice of words matter to me more than my own?

The only words that matter to me are the ones coming out of my mouth. I don’t require others to share my views, agree with my use of words to express those views or even believe I should have a view.

Why?

Because in order for me to feel good at night about my freedom to express myself how I see fit, I must also consider anyone else who would like to enjoy the freedom to express their views even if those views are the polar opposite of my own.

A Few Good Black Men: Can A Sister Talk To A Brother?

By Tracy Renee Jones

It seems like Black male egos are bruised and in need of some soothing. When I wrote my piece last week about the sexual harassment that I’ve experienced throughout my life at the hands of Black men it wasn’t a blanket condemnation of all men that look like me. Of course I know a few good Black men; and when I say a few, I mean a dam few….at least up until recently.

Initially I thought it quite typical for the few good Black men to cry foul; apparently they’re tired of having to maneuver through a world made more hostile and less civilized due to the behavior of the ones that behave like barbarians. I’ve been having this discussion with a (Good Black) male friend of mine for a few weeks prior to me writing my piece. I can understand the frustration he and other men who go about their lives trying to be the "GOOD" man that’s needed feel.

It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that just like there are women who do what they can to remain open hearted, to behave lovingly toward others, and who seek to emulate the strength and beauty that Black women are there are also Black men who though not perfect, try dam hard to be that father, that brother and that “Good” man to that Black woman.

Street Meet: Black Women, Black Men, & Everyday Sexual Harassment

By Tracy Renee Jones

I am 11 years old wearing a Catholic School uniform. I make a run for the candy store a few blocks away from the school. The men say things to me but I don't know what some of the words mean. Their stares make me uncomfortable.

I am 15 years old wearing shell toe Adidas and a gold name plate. Backpack on one shoulder, one sock slouched as I make my way to my Catholic high school.

I am 23 years old wearing steel toe boots and dingy, baggy clothes on my way to work the docks at UPS.

I am 30 years old wearing a suit, early in the morning, while making my way to work which I now called a ‘career’.

I am 36 years old wearing the shapeless clothes one does when they get older, my hair is in a ponytail and I’m walking with my adult daughter.

“Good Morn’en”, says the toothless alcoholic who lives on the curb as I make my way to the bus during my morning commute.

“Hey Pretty Lady”, says the dirty day laborer as he rubs his dick, “You got a hus-ban?” I look down my nose at him, making my disgust clear. I refuse to break my gaze until I see the look of humiliation cross his face.

“Dam, you got a fat ass, Ma!” says the under age drug dealer as I escort my 11 year old daughter from martial arts class. His friends break out in a roar of laughter. I feel my daughter grip my hand tighter; she pulls me along in an attempt to get me away from the perceived danger. I bite my tongue because I don’t want to show out in front of my child, I’m supposed to be an adult and ‘respectable’ acting in public.

“Fuck you then! What? You think you’re better than me?!” says the random Nigger on the corner in some urban hood that could be in any urban town anywhere in America.

“Yeah, I do” is my usual response. I look him straight in the eyes and punctuate my retort with all the confidence my body language can muster. I enjoy the look of pain I’ve caused him to feel; I enjoy being able to turn the humiliation meant for me, back on to him.

“You ain’t all dat anyway..don’t nobody want you”, says the random Nigger on the corner in some urban hood that could be in any town anywhere in America.

Why you should care about Slim Thug's assault on Black Women

I haven't been on Twitter much lately because I'm tired from the joy that is my third pregnancy, but I logged on to see that Fresh (@Freshalina) from Crunk and Disorderly posted an excerpt of an opinion piece failed rapper Slim Thug (pictured above on the left) did for Vibe.com.

He's a moron of epic proportions, but I was able to syphon out what he was trying to say in the beginning. I knew, however, that the "Shit-on-Black-Women" parade would begin posthaste. He did not disappoint. Do the stupid ever?

Daria Werbowy Editorial Racist? Nah! I Only Noticed The Black Folks Anyway!

So I was over at HuffPost when I came across a this post asking if this Daria Werbowy editorial was racist.  Now I fully admit that I was ready to get all upset, and at first, looking at these images, I was about ready to roll my eyes and mumble about the precious "virtue" of white women in racial images.  However, when I looked at the images closer, I found that the the white model just really wasn't eye catching to me in the long term.

I think I knew what they were going for of course.  Don't get me wrong.  They were absolutely using the black models as props to have the white model stand out, like some jewel in the ruff, but I found that the black models actually made the photos for me.  She's not remarkable.  I don't even find the white model very attractive (she's no Adriana Lima), although she could be classified as pretty.  Her clothing is lovely, but I want to wear what the "props" have on.

She seems uninvited; like she crashed one of the hippest parties in town, after having run away from some lame, boring party in the Hamptons with uptight rich folks.  I want to be at this party, as it ultimately seems she wanted to be.  She doesn't fit in.  She seems terribly demode.  The black female models outshine her as their skin is far more conducive to looking attractive while perspiring in a hot ass club.  Their head wraps and makeup make them look like regal and strong; sexy and svengali-like.

It sees like most of the patrons in this club scene are not paying attention to her.  They are going about their business with the occasional guy who seems to be there to make sure she doesn't get lost, but he also seems like he can't really be bothered. 

This is not the first time this has failed.  Back in 2007, I wrote about Vogue India's Inaugural issue having two Indian models flanking a white model in the middle.  The effects are the same.  The model in the middle really didn't have a purpose as she was outshined by the models on either side of her. 

I think as I progresss in age, and I get more comfortable in my skin--as we all do as we age--I am not falling into the traps about what beauty should look like or what I, as a black woman, should strive to be.  I find that I find all women beautiful, but I will not hold white women to some gold standard because they are women just like me, and they are beautiful just as I am.  That's why I'm not even mad at these photos (more are visible at the hyperlink).  The message was lost on me because black is just too damned beautiful for me to not notice.

Black Women: Whose fault is it that you can't find a man?

So by now I'm sure everybody has seen the YouTube segment from ABC's Nightline discussing the issue of single successful lonely black women. In recent weeks it seems to be the hot topic. As a result, tonight on Freedom Through Speech Radio we'll be discussing the phenomenon with Paul Carrick Brunson, The Modern Day Matchmaker; check him out:

White men with Negro penises?!

OK, so we're getting close to the end of the year and I have a few more 2009 race cards that I need to use before the ball drops. Let's face it, a 2009 race card just isn't as fresh and effective as a 2010 race card would be in it's current year. So I have a few of them left and I'm gonna throw it out on this post.

Now everybody knows the "all black men have large penises" stereotype is true, right? Of course it is; it's the only stereotype we have working in our favor in America. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know most racial stereotypes are untrue. But trust me, this one and the "white men can't jump," one, is true iight?!

Now of course there are exceptions to every rule, and every now and then there's a white guy who's secret gets out. You know the secret, right? The secret that there's a Negro tucked away in the limb of his family tree somewhere in Mississippi; uh-huh, just ask John McCain.

Yeah, a lot of them claim Sitting Bull before they do Chicken George, but don't let them fool you. At any rate, checkout how a few white women reacted to one of these anomalies of human existence in the following clip:


In my best Bevis & Butthead impression I laughed and snickered that his name was Peter. They picked the perfect name didn't they. Peter the pecker-wood sounds like helluva porn-star name to me. But just for kicks if I were him I would call myself Danmingo - the distant cousin of Mandingo who helped free the slaves with Harriet Tubman.

OK, all jokes aside and race card in mind. Do you think their reaction would have been the same if Peter were replaced with Raheem from the other side of the tracks? Like I said, I'm just trying to use the few race cards I have left before they expire.

So tell me, would it have made a difference if Peter was black? And what if occupying the table were all black women, would there be a difference in reaction? Holla at me and lemme know what you think.

BTW: My white genes compels me to say that size doesn't matter, right ladies?

Bitch is NOT the New Black: Are You Really Lowering Your Standards or Becoming Reasonable?

Over at Racialicious they've been discussing Helena Andrews' book "Bitch Is the New Black" via a piece at the Washington Post that once again seeks to figure out why black women are single and apparently lonely.

Andrews and others go on about their misfortune with dating (what I gather to be black men) in the DC area:

Andrews writes about what it is like for a young, black woman dating in D.C., trying to find a mate who seems ever elusive. The futile rituals are familiar: the dressing up, the eager cab ride over to the party, the hold-your-breath as you walk in, scanning the room quickly for any looks returned. The mantra sounding in the back of your head: "So-and-so found a man last year at a party like this. Maybe tonight is my night." Then one by one, the men prove to be disappointments and disappointing: married, uninteresting or uninterested.

The disappointment as you end up at the bar once again, committing straw violence in your drink (stirring the drink frantically and unconsciously).

Andrews writes the truth of those nights. The truth is for too many, they never work out. Not for Andrews and not for her friend, Gina, who is a prominent character in her life and in the book.

You know I get tired of reading about how single black women are and how lonely and basically unloved we are if we are "successful" (more on that later).

Where are the Black male teachers?

"Now, I say if you wanna kill yourself, don't fuck around with it. Go on and do it expeditiously!" - Joe Clark (Lean On Me)

We bitch about our current youth, and all but proclaim them to be the spawn of the devil when they're not our own - yes, there's a Black Jesus and a White Jesus, so quite naturally there's a Black devil and a White devil, no? Yeah I know; that's an entirely different topic, but I couldn't help but to go there. But anyway, while we are cynical in our criticisms, we're often quick to justify or attribute the behaviors of said children by the absence of male figures within the home or family structure.

Now considering that our kids spend a more significant portion of their time outside of our homes and in the charge of the public school system. Why is it that some genius among us has yet to question the number of male teachers within our public school system? Specifically, how the absence of black male teachers impact our youth negatively.

I'm not an expert, nor am I a teacher. But I can't help but to think that there is a direct correlation between the near absence of black male teachers and the difficulties that many African American boys face in school. About half of black male students do not complete high school in four years, statistics show. Black males also tend to score lower on standardized tests, take fewer Advanced Placement courses and are suspended and expelled at higher rates than other groups. The thought occurred to me after I watched the following video over at We Are Respectable Negroes:

When Black Youth Learn To Lack Respect For Each Other...

They brag about sleeping with each other's close friends.

They disrespect and denigrate each other as loud as they possibly can.

They invade each other's personal space.

They don't keep their hands to themselves.

They don't drop the freaking camera to help a girl or woman who's been attacked.

They put a slam on a woman that would make the WWE's John Cena wince with pain.

They simply don't walk away. They keep going without stopping.

When you watch the video, it goes a little beyond the fact that the teenage boy in the video was dead ass wrong for manhandling a female. Period. End of story. There's no argument. He was wrong.

She was wrong too. She should've respected his personal space, and she should've had self-respect for herself. At the same time, I've been heated with my boyfriend, and I have at times nagged him mercilessly. Guess what? He would never lift a finger to hit me, nor has he. And you know what? That doesn't make him a "good" man. That makes him a "man." Unless the boy taped in this video gets his shit together, he never will be a man, and he will always be a boy who will find himself in crappy relationships that go nowhere.

"But she was all in his face?"

And? He started threatening her with bodily harm simply because he felt his "manhood" was being insulted, or he felt like he had to protect his "honor." We are in 2009, there is no reason for us to continue to perpetuate the fuckery that is an honor culture anyway. Matter of fact, that's what's killing black men anyway. There is a certain level of honor that comes with simply letting people act a fool by themselves, embarrassing themselves. A real man would've told her to simply stop invading his personal space, and had she continued talking shit, just walk away.

He is the only person who can control his boundaries. There's nothing wrong with moving away from the person who is not respecting your boundaries. And it's sad to see that this is one "brother" who has been taught to believe that black women deserve to be manhandled if they get too "sassy." Way to go!

She is not innocent. It is clear, by his bragging about sleeping with her friends, that he's a piece of work, and I don't mean that in a good way. Let him be the only one to humiliate himself, and show himself for the walking piece of offal that he is. While it is never okay to hit a man, it is never okay to invade and wage war against someone's personal space. She, like him, fell into the trap that makes black women fall prey to believing that they need to be loud, menacing and obnoxious to prove their point and get their way. I personally would've kicked his balls in had he done that to me, but then again, while I've nagged, I would not put myself in her position over something as brain draining as some teenaged simp not keeping his dick in his pants.

We need to teach black boys, LIKE black girls, that respect for themselves is way more important than protecting some idea of what "honor" is. We need to teach them to respect each other as well. When black women are taught that black men "ain't shit," and when black men are taught that black women "ain't shit," stuff like this happens.

And you know what? We all lose.

Guest Blogger: Oh so you wanna talk, huh? Well listen to what this woman has to say! (by Livication)

(Editor's Note: This post comes from one of my newer readers Livication. She felt compelled to create this response to my man Carey Carey's recent guest post titled: "Ladies, Can We Talk? Why are you Speaking so Loudly? I Can't Hear What you Say!". Seems like my man ruffled a few tail-feathers (sorry about the sexist joke) and my girl wanted to set the record straight. Hopefully the pic above doesn't offend anyone, and no, it is not a picture of the author.)

Yes, boo, we can talk. You want me to put on that thing you like while we talk? No? What! You actually want to talk? Okay, I'm down with that. But first, let me ask you this: by "talk", do you mean "Ladies, can I throw out some genderalizations and make you seem like the problem in our relationships?" That's not what you mean?  Oh, so, you actually want to talk with me and not at me. That's fair; I appreciate that. Now that we, the ladies, have heard what you want to say...well, allow me to retort!

I will preface this by saying that I realize that I am not the "norm", but that the woman written about in the last blog isn’t as common as implied.  I'd like to take this opportunity to speak up from the eyes of the ladies that don't get caught up with suckers. I am not the perfect woman; I know I'm not supermodel pretty.  I don't look like Beyonce or Tyra or Nicki Minaj or Alicia Keys (are they all the same person?).  If you're looking for the "classical" version of a beautiful Black woman nowadays, well..I guess I just don't fit the mold.  I'm quite comfortable in my skin.  Does that mean I sit around on the couch every night with a pint of ice cream watching "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" and hating Black men? Well, no. Not every night.

I might be average (or slightly above), but I sometimes have some idealistic ideals, and as such, I believe my flaw in people would be this: I truly, truly want to know the depth of a person, their passions, soul and intelligence, before I give into allowing myself to be in a relationship with them.  Does that mean I lack other standards? Heck no. I am careful about who I trust with any aspect of my heart (guarded? maybe)...I like to proceed with caution because I'm not interested in going through some bullshit make-up to break-up ordeal when I have other things to focus on.

These things do not include a baby daddy or kids or crazy ex-boyfriends (all though we all have our share) or crazy current boyfriends (considering my decided and enjoyed singlehood).  No, no; my big girl responsibilities include working two jobs, volunteering and activism, and enjoying my free time with my-own-self whenever I can.

Guest Blogger: CARS RIDE BY WITH THE BOOMIN' SYSTEM by Mason Jamal

(EDITORS NOTE: My man Mason Jamal of the blog Mason Says drops science as he does here at the Intersection today. Do check him out and show him some love by visiting his site and adding it to your Blogroll. His blog is definitely one worth reading and I'm honored to share 'the corner' with him today. You can also follow Mason on Twitter @masonsays.)

I hate it, although I get it. But since hating something is like a natural born instinct that humans share, let me start with the latter because ‘getting it’ requires a more thoughtful process. So I get that people, of a certain age demographic, like their music loud. And it really doesn’t matter by what conduit – earphones, car stereo, clock radio, television, computer speakers, etc. I live with a sixteen-year-old. I hate it, although I get it. I realize that volume is like drugs, albeit less insidious. The more you consume, the higher your tolerance elevates and, therefore, the more you need of that particular thing to fulfill that rush. In fact, if you merge the two worlds of volume and drugs, you get some warped anthem like “Play it Loud. I’m on Crack & I’m Proud”. But I digress.

In some cases, however, it’s not just volume for the sake of volume. I’m telling you. I’ve given this some thought and I get it. Music blaring from car stereos is of particular interest. Look, I live in a Cincinnati neighborhood that Katt Williams calls home. Need I say more? It’s very urban and very unapologetic about it. With that, comes our fair share of cars (registered and unregistered) cruising down the street sounding like a block party rolling on dubs, whatever the hell dubs are. But as I was saying, the volume is about more than just vanity. For young black men, there is an element of social resistance at play, literally and figuratively. For some, it’s very conscious. For others, it’s planted deep in their sub-conscious. For many of the young men that I see and ‘hear’ everyday, they feel set aside and discarded by mainstream society. Right or wrong, they feel their voices are muted. This is where the music comes into play. It’s a rebellious messenger of how they see themselves.

Understanding the Culture of Violence in America: The Death of Derrion Albert

Hopefully after reading this post you're able to look at this issue differently. To do so, I suggest taking the time to view the following videos starting with this one:

So everyone has heard the story - or watched the video - of 16yr old Derrion Albert savagely beaten to death in Chicago. In my opinion, I don’t know if the video or the knee jerk reactions to it was more appalling. I’m sorry and I apologize if that last line offended anyone, but it’s just the way I see it. I’m disappointed that a young man had his life cut short in the manner he did, but I’m not angry. Am I a bad person for not being angered by this incident? No. Am I apathetic because I’m not as “enraged” as some people claim to be? Of course not, but some may think that I am. But hey, the cynic in me tells me that this “rage” will quickly disappear as it did after the Oscar Grant incident earlier this year. Everybody was mad then after watching the video of him being killed by a police officer, but no such rage at the fact that currently murder charges against said officer might be dropped.

If you ask me, it is this very “anger” which is essentially a part of the problem. Let’s be honest, Derrion Albert wasn’t killed because people were “Steppin’ in the name of love,” in the streets of Chicago. I say that because I doubt he was caught up in the midst of two separate but very happy groups of teenagers. Real talk: How do we solve problems if angry? When has anything positive ever developed from a position of anger? Shouldn’t this be yet another albeit teachable moments as it relates to conflict resolution? Ironically, it is this “anger” which has fueled some of the most unproductive discussions and commentary surrounding this incident and the blame game.

So in the spirit of “community” where community exists only when there is real commitment to go beyond rhetoric, beyond the limitations of tolerance, beyond the accusations, attacks and suspicions often experienced when people try to talk through the tough issues. I offer some Socratic questioning in an attempt to provoke rational thought and hopefully move towards solutions.

1) Bad Parenting: I’ve heard it said that what happened to Derrion is a resut of bad parenting. How can one watch the video of this or read about this story and come to this conclusion? Were there parents at the scene acting as agitators and or instigators? I’m sorry, but unless that was the case, I’m not buying that “bad parenting” cliché explanation. If you feel differently than I, feel free to explain that one to me in your commentary. And please give me more than that “babies raising babies” talk.

2) Absentee Black Fathers: Yet another one of those silly arguments to explain this incident. Can anyone prove to me that every single solitary soul involved in that melee came from single parent homes? Again, I’m sorry, but Black people, as a people we need to stop believing the hype as we’re fed by the media. Using absentee fathers as an excuse negates this being a teachable moment as far as personal responsibility and consequences in my opinion. Absentee Black fathers may be a problem in itself. But let’s not use this incident as one of those soapbox moments to promote Black fatherhood when it is not known whether it's even a contributing factor in this instance. If that's what you think to be a contributing factor in this and all instances of violence, pay attention to the last video.

3) Hip Hop: Let’s see, Hip Hop as we know it in the mainstream has been around how long? I don’t know, but I seriously doubt whether it has been around as long as Black on Black violence and crime has, no? Hell, a White rapper was just arrested for murder a couple of weeks ago. How come nobody submitted Hip Hop to be the causation of his crime which had multiple victims? Do we blame, or are other musical genres the motivation behind acts of crime committed by non-minorities? But hey, we can debate that issue in the commentary as well; actually being a Hip Hop head I welcome that debate. Shit, I know plenty of cats my age who love Mobb Deep's “Shook One's PT. II” who have yet to just lose it causing the end to the life of an individual.

4) The Black Culture of Violence: I know and understand Black on Black crime is an issue itself. But, why make this incident, or use similar incidents to give the perception that “it’s a Black thing”? Correct me if I’m wrong, but is there something in the DNA of people of African descent that predisposes them to violent crime? I’m just curious, but isn’t crime – be it violent or not – a problem throughout society that affects us all negatively? Why then see it as another one of those Black problems? Also, I’d like to take the time to remind people that gang culture has always existed in this country, and that the U.S. Gov’t did not create Ricco law statutes to take down the Bloods and the Crips. Yes, there is a pathology associated or attached to Black folks which directly impacts behavior. But how can we challenge this issue without tying it in to a larger societal problem?

All in all people, the problem here as I see it is violence in America; yes, we live in a violent nation. Is it any surprise that a country that was birthed through violence, where people are comfortable packing guns to political town hall meetings, and creating “Should Obama be Killed” polls on Facebook that these type of incidents occur? Derrion was caught up between an incident which involved two rival groups – you know that same “mob mentality” currently occupying our national political discourse? But hey, I guess that’s to be expected when the country you love has, is and will always be the biggest bully in the world community. Yeah, mobs and gangs have long been a part of American culture; why worry about violence here when this country exercises its “violent will” on other people and other cultures abroad.

What’s sad to me Black people, is that we view Derrion’s demise within the “Black community” to be tragic but yet accept or are apathetic towards the culture of violence within our country at large. Hell, a White kid was beaten on a school bus recently by a group of Black kids, but yet I didn’t hear this much “rage” from the Black community. Lemme guess, he lived, so it was no big deal, right? But since I’m trying to offer solutions I’ll ask: how can we stop the violence when we all live or are a part of a larger society within which such behavior is commonplace and not addressed?

Let the healing begin after this video:

SUGGESTED READING: Whose Responsibility is it Anyway? by soulbrother v.2

Abducted woman returns after 18yrs: Wait, you mean to tell me her kidnappers and rapist were not Black? Something ain't right!

So I caught the news about the woman who is now 29yrs old and reunited with her mother after being abducted when she was 11yrs old. Abducted by two of the sickest religious nutjobs on the face of the earth in my opinion [no seriously, click and read this]. When I first heard the story I thought, "thank God Black kids don't get abducted or ever go missing in this country." I'm actually still trying to wrap my head around why a woman would be party to such an act by a convicted sex offender in kidnapping a child, having sex with her resulting in a pregnancy when she's only 14yrs old. I'm not gonna lie, but when I saw their mug shots on my TV my reaction was typical, stereotypical actually as I ushered the words "crazy ass white folks."

Speaking of which, here's a comment about this story from one of my favorite sites:

It is great that she is finally back home and away from the filthy scum that kidnapped her. People like that should get their skin dyed brown (if it's not already brown) because they are just as bad as the filthy negros and mexicans that infest this nation. [source:stormfront.com]

Ok yeah, so that may come off a tad bit on the racist side; I can't wait for the hate mail to pour in. But there is no denying that "certain people" do some of the most heinous shit known to human beings. No joke, it's as if "certain people" corner the market on that type of stuff. I'm sorry, but to my knowledge, I have yet to hear of a Black reality TV star killing his wife, removing her fingers, her teeth and eventually stuffing her into a suitcase as he high tails it out of the country. No, you don't hear stuff like that. The Black reality star always gets kicked off the show remember? Besides, everybody knows that Black men do not kidnap kids. Why would they when they hardly take care of their own.

The funny thing about this is that some of my non-minority readers and friends, are always quick to point out Black on Black crime as the scourge of our existence next to drugs (which is funny because they never associate drugs with non-minorities). They're always quick to throw out statistics which support the theory that, well, Negroes kill a lot. Sure Black on Black crime is a problem therein, and of itself. But damn, how come nobody ever acknowledges white on white crimes? Is it that there's a competition among "certain people" to see who can commit the craziest of crimes? Let's keep it real, when you heard of the stories I mentioned above, what profile did you draw of the suspects in your head? Surely you pictured a person of color commiting them, right? Hopefully you detected a tone of sarcasm in that last line or question.

Last month, a man in South Carolina put an 8yr old girl in a headlock and shot her twice in the head to death, in the presence of her mother - a woman with whom he had a relationship but was estranged. The child's father was dating this animal's ex-wife at the time. Not much of this, if any at all made national headlines, but yet we hear Ray Ray n' em on the 10 o' clock news every night. C'mon people, lets be honest about this, isn't this bullshit? I would never dare suggest that it's some form of racial conspiracy by making people of color to be the face of crime in the country; please believe, we do our fair share of crazy stuff. But is it just me, or is it that the crazy stuff done by Black people just never get reported? I'm just asking because we never hear about it - D.C. sniper excluded of course.

Ladies First Guest Blogger Week - Excuse Me Miss, Can I Kick It? by Silkee

[Editor's Note: This post comes rom one of the most outspoken women I've ever met online. The last time she was featured on this blog she ripped it! I'm trying to convince her to be a regular contributor to my blog. Hopefully with your support she'll do just that. Until then you can reach her, and follow her on Twitter (@AlwaysSilky). I hope you enjoy this one, and look for her in the near future]

The hip-hop head in me was bouncing all over the map the other day. I was tooling all over Baltimore, getting my vacation off to a stellar start when I heard the song "I Got a Man" by Positive K. For those who may not remember or may not be familiar, the entire premise is that a young man is trying to gain a particular female’s attention – she’s clearly not having it because, after all, as the title states, she’s GOT a man. But of course, he’s got 50-11 reasons why she should disregard that man in favor of the new suitor, and therefore disrespect herself completely-- not to mention that the minute the young lady in question mentioned that her man was the type to gift her with all manner of material possessions, he became immediately disinterested because “[he doesn’t] go that route.” This really got me to thinking about male behavior – primarily because I’ve been on the receiving end of this kind of foolishness more times than I care to remember.

Let’s examine.

It bears stating that the men who would engage in this kind of behavior are not exactly looking for wife material. Even if they were, it would stand to reason that they definitely are NOT husband material. What I find completely hilarious is that they tend to display more than their share of indignation when the object of their affection is completely nonplussed by their invitations to dinner and a movie (do I look like I’ve missed a meal, or that I’m not pop-culturally aware?). Pffft… unoriginal drivel – but of course, a man who would steal another man’s crown jewel only to use her like toilet paper generally isn’t capable of the kind of original thought that could gain him his own Hope Diamond. Sadly, I’m aware that another reason these fools go about their business the way they do is that even if they approach 100 attached women (and trust, they approach as many as they possibly can without getting maced or tazed), they’re likely to get a bite from at least one. In their tiny minds, they are still a success; they’ve got game.

An uninterested lady might stop one of these troglodytes in his path by asking them whether or not it would be acceptable for the woman they thought of as “theirs” to be roaming the Earth collecting random male friends of which he was unaware. Admittedly, most of them aren’t even thinking that far ahead. I take it as a personal affront that so many cats step out on the false pretense of friendship, when the pink elephant in the living room is only that this dude is biding his time until your man does something to set you off, so he can be that “break glass in case of emergency” dick. Frankly, I will say for the record that I don’t even believe in the phenomenon of platonic friendship between members of the opposite sex, unless one of the parties is homosexual. Say what you want, but I’ve seen it happen too many times. Somebody catches feelings, or decides to wait around for the other person to drop the soap – and it’s NEVER a good look. It also makes me wonder whether or not the phenomenon of stuck-up, rude women that so many men describe is rooted in this behavior. Maybe if more males acted like gentlemen, instead of horny, desperate curb-dwellers or pushy salesmen, they’d get more of out a woman to whom they showed some interest than a disgusted sidelong glance, a dismissive snicker, and the PALM!

And I know, I started out with Positive K... but the tone of the blog was more suited to Tribe Called Quest. Sue me.

xox... Happy hunting, lame asses of the world.

God hates abortion; murder? Not so much.

Just when Black folks have finally put to rest the image of the D.C. Sniper, and the shame and embarrassment of him being Black, here comes this shit. Yeah, that brother in the pic above is named Abdulhakim Mujahid Muhammad. Yes his hands behind his back means he’s doing the now infamous media perp walk that Black men are bound by the constitution to do. If you have yet to hear of his crime; he was the person responsible for the drive-by shooting at the military recruitment center in Little Rock Arkansas. Yes, his actions lead to the death of one military recruiter and the wounding of another.

As of right now, there is no clear motive as to why this brother did what he did, but I find it funny he’s already considered a terrorist in the media. I don’t know, but if his name was “Tyrone Jenkins”, I sincerely doubt that the label terrorist would be attached to him. Black men run around shooting other Black men everyday but they’re never referred to as terrorists. But nevertheless, he is now sitting in jail charged with one count of murder, and 15 counts of committing a terrorist act.

So the brother is a terrorist. Why because he has a funny sounding name and is a convert to Islam? Or is it because he shot up a military recruitment office? I mean is he a part of that silly New York Muslim terrorist cell who were dumb enough to buy fake bombs after being entrapped by an overzealous FBI informant? I don’t know if this guy is a terrorist folks, but I do know that guy who shot that abortion doctor in Wichita Kansas definitely was. But then again, maybe he’s not given that title given the fact that religious clowns on the far right side of the political spectrum are applauding his actions.

And you know what else is ridiculous? I have yet to see in the MSM the perp walk of Mr. Anti-Abortion /Pro-Murder White guy in the news. Hell, if it wasn’t for the picture of his mug shot from a previous arrest, I would have never known what he looks like. I guess at the end of the day it all comes down to the fact that God hates abortions, but not so much murder. Yeah, when you kill somebody and you have God on your side when you do, you’re a hero and not a terrorist. Oh well, so much for prosecuting George Bush, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld for war crimes. After all, wasn’t it God who told him to invade Iraq?

As I mentioned before, unlike the crazy White dude, there is no motive for what the brother did in Arkansas. If it were determined, that he was opposed to war. The question I’d like to ask, is: would he be considered a hero, or revered as was that guy in Kansas in the eyes of those God loving God fearing folks who call themselves real Americans? I known dissent is the highest form of patriotism, but when did committing a crime as heinous as murder make one a hero.

This is America Buddy; Black Folks Don’t Smile When in Handcuffs

I woke up this morning turned on CNN as always and the first thing I see is the Somali brother coming to America in chains, and smiling. My wife was the one who pointed out that he was smiling. I told her that clearly he was happy as were all African slaves who were drug to this country in chains. OK, so I was joking when I said that, but in reality, that brother could have been nervous as hell for all we know. I mean, the last boat-ride Africans took to get to America didn't turn out so well. I suspect his story wouldn't have a happy ending either.

So why is this brother smiling unlike Americans of African descent who are often subjected to the now infamous perp-walk? I mean some people as I've seen all over the Internet are suggesting that his smile was one of arrogance. You know, as if he didn't give a fuck about what he "allegedly" did. Some people even have jokes about it and likened him to Eddie Murphy in the movie Coming to America. I am not going to lie, that shit was going around Twitter and made me laugh this morning. One person said he was smiling because he knew he was going to move to Queens New York, get a job at McDonald's and meet a fine sister and live happily ever after. Him being 16yrs old, hopefully James Earl Jones shows up only to rescue him from the terrible evil empire that is America. Yes, and lets hope he shows up dressed like the King of Zamunda and not Darth Vader. Either that or he gets proper representation at his trial.

Yup, even I laughed at the thought. After which, I couldn't help but to think of the enjoyment so many are getting from seeing the image of this guy coming to this country in shackles. I mean, all he did was hang out with the wrong crowd, right? Just like any impressionable 16yr old teenager who is easily influenced in this "get money" society, he went along with some guys intent on getting paid, right? So why should he be any different? Of course you know me, all I saw was just another Black man chains who in this case was a victim of circumstances. Let’s be honest, Somalia isn't quite the vacation spot like San Trope, now is it?

That said, yeah, maybe time in jail for now, though separated from his family may be almost like a night at the Ritz Carlton considering the current state of Somalia. Maybe that's why it is easy for his smile to be questioned, and maybe that's the tragicomedy of it all. However, maybe things would be different, or we may view him and his smile differently, had he swindled, oh say a few folks out of $50 billion and allowed to stay in a Manhattan penthouse pending trial. I can't help but to think that we're so used to this perp-walk that it makes it so easy for us to pass judgment just based on a smile. Oh well, in the end, I guess we've gotten used to seeing Black men go to prison, or paraded on television as criminals that it really doesn't matter where he lived, what or why he did what he did.

Welcome to America my brother.

Divesting from the Black Community: Run Black Woman Run!

"When a thriving African American or urban community is realized, certainly as a society as a whole we all win." - John Anderson

There is a married couple in Illinois right now - the Anderson's who are pictured above - who are conducting an experiment of buying exclusively from Black businesses for one year. They live in Chicago, which if you don't know, happens to be located in the county, which has the most, Black people per capita in the country. They've named their social experiment "Ebony Project". Not a daunting task considering where they live, right? Well, on the contrary. It's has not been easy and they've even had to drive up to 14mls out of their neighborhood just to do grocery shopping, and 18mls just to get to a health food store for vitamins. They have also gone as far as to purchase gas cards online from Black owned gas stations well outside of their city to compensate their undertaking. So why are they doing this experiment? It's their belief that with the Black community being underserved, coupled with the $850 billion buying power of the Black community annually, this shift may in some small way help to expand and bring money back into the Black community.

In other words, this experiment is about giving back. You can read their full story here if you haven't already. They are encouraging other African Americans to do just as they are as well. Me personally, I could see doing this, and realize that it is in effect what is needed in order to strengthen our community from a financial perspective. Sounds like a good thing doesn't it? Well, not to everybody Black at least. You see, I never knew this, but there is a movement which seeks to empower Black women, by them divesting in the Black community. I was privileged to come across this information by reading a couple blogs about it. Honestly, I think its a very bad idea that centers around men bashing, and can never have positive effects on the community.

Of course the people who subscribe to this theory are not believers in what I sayas I did over at the blog Happy Nappy Head. According to them, the Black community is beyond saving. According to them, there is an "Ark" that is representative or symbolic of saving the Black woman. According to them, it is the Black man who has destroyed our communities, deliberately harm Black woman, and contribute to much of the negativity we see and hear about. You know, the whole 70% single Black women raising kids thing, right? Not just that, but also that Black men are responsible for all the crime in our communities and it is the Black man who has made it unsafe for the Black woman and her children.

Well, to them, Black woman are looked at as being the savior of the Black community. By who, I have no clue, but since it's up to them - Black women - with the Black community being beyond repair, the best strategy for them, would be to cut and run. Yes, divesting is what they suggest Black women do. No joke, I'm not making this up; you can click the links above to see just what I'm talking about. Now, can you tell me just how this is something positive? I mean, currently, in this country, for every dollar in the White community as far as wealth is concerned, there is 10 cents in the Black community. Yes, the gap of wealth is that wide per the release of a study done by the Federal Reserve which is conducted every three years.

These results are as accurate as of the year 2007, and I seriously think in the future, given the economic downturn which affects Blacks and other minorities hardest, that the gap will be shown to be even wider. So that said, isn't it even more important that we pull together as a people, and invest in our community as opposed to divesting? I mean, when you divest, economically and otherwise, where and what are you investing in? And when you do, though you may feel that it's beneficial to you as a Black woman or Black person, what is it doing to the community at large?

Growing up, I was told that one should not be a part of the problem, but instead part of the solution. Well, is divesting truly a part of the solution for the Black female collective? To me, cutting and running is the easy thing to do. Not only that, though it is your choice to do so, I find it rather selfish, and shows a weakness in character. I don't know what you may think, but I didn't see men like Martin Luther King Jr. divest from the Negro collective, or not focus on the people in this country who needed a voice back in the 60's. You know the very same people who were riddled with pretty much the same social issues, and ills due to their economic disadvantage? For that matter, never did Angela Davis as she continues to speak out and remain active in issues of social and economic injustices in this great land of ours.

Maybe because I'm a Black man who works to serve a higher purpose other than me when it comes to my people, I feel the way I do. Yeah, maybe that's it. The hell if I know. However, I do know Harriet Tubman must be rolling over in her grave when she hears Black woman with this type of talk. If she ever was a ghost, I think some of these sisters would think twice if she appeared and pulled her famous pistol in an attempt to get them to realize that the fight and struggle is not theirs alone. I don't care what they say, but divest as you may, but sadly, at the end of the day, you'll still be Black just like the rest of us you've left behind.