Touching My Junk in the Name of Security

by Eco.Soul.Intellectual

Last month I spoke against TSA's touchy-feely business and it seems that there are more people out there like me. According to Gallup Polls, 42% of people are bothered or angered about pat downs and scans; yet people don't mind the loss of privacy as a method to dealing with terrorism. Huhn? Yes, we are some complicated beings I suppose.

As in the case of John Tyner in the earlier part of November, who was harassed by a TSA official for refusing a body scan and pat down; there is something that churns my gut when ignorance and power-tripping merge in the form of $15 an hour and a corny blue suit. Tyner who is known for the comment to a TSA worker, "If you touch my junk, I'll have you arrested," brought up a thought I had in my head since my partial mammogram @ LAX in October.

Do these new TSA security practices borderline sexual harassment? And how sure are we that the TSA worker is ethical in the searches? Everyone knows that they are underpaid lapdogs enforcing strict codes of others who get the bulk of the sizable security contracts from the bureau of Homeland Security.

I propose that we implement a psychological evaluation of checkpoint workers. You never know who is looking at your pu$$y. I feel sorry for a celebrity. I can see it right now. X-rays of Janet Jackson's silicon breasts and the Kardashians' (including their skank-ass mama) reconstructed vaginas on eBay for $50.

Getting to 3rd Base on the First Date; A Date with the TSA.

You know that feeling you get when you're all excited. The anticipation sets in. You feel anxious, yet a little intimidated by the big date. You know it's coming and you just can't wait!

As a result, you begin exercising trying to tone up just a little bit. So Folk thought about doing some squats or kettlebell throws to tighten up the thigh muscles. You know a motherfvcker wanna be prepared when those hands slip up the insides of the legs. You want the sensation to be positive to the hands that slowly make their way to the promise land where the bawlz of glory dwell.

You'll feel a slight release as those hands cup 'em and you'll take a deep breath, but Folk will be wondering if this Uncle Sam is enjoying this a little too much?

What? Y'all thought Folk was talking about a $exual experience with the lil lady or some other world prostitute from delinious twelve? Hell nawl! Folk talking about the upcoming trip on the motherfvcking airplane!

Look, it's a bird, it's a plane! It's... Police unmanned drones over the hood??

I don't exactly consider myself to be one of those black helicopter/conspiracy theorist/"Big Brother-is-watching" type of individual. Nope, I'm not in the process of building a bomb shelter, stocking up on canned goods, bottled water, and Viagra (don't ask)  in the event that Iran does something with Yellow Cake. You know, like Saddam Hussein did? 

But be that as it may, something is kinda troubling about the above video to me. Um, anytime a local police department conducts testing of an unmanned drone to be used as a tool for law enforcement, I'm concerned.

Yes, especially when the Department of Homeland Security (and maybe even the CIA) gives you it's blessings? Hmmm, and they tested this in Houston, huh? Umm Houston, we have a problem, and I don't think it has anything to do with NASA, or those rappers with grills (not yet).

I'm sorry, but is the crime rate that bad? Do I really have to worry about having some horny perverted police officer flying over my back yard, and pleasuring himself at the sight of my man-boobs, should I decide to lay out for a tan?

I mean, let's say that if I were to innocently cheat on my wife. Should I have to worry about any other cameras other than Joey Greco's and the Cheater's crew? But now there's the flying police paparazzi? Again, I'm not trynna run the C-O-N-spiracy talk. But hell, Bin Laden didn't blow up the projects, did he?

I'm just sayin', this ain't Afghanistan! 

And hell, ain't no Yellow Cake in the hood, son!

Is there any privacy left?