Last week, buzz surrouding a white female rapper named Kreayshawn and her signing by Sony was all over the blogosphere. Some people were all for her, and others were underestandably displeased.
The Crunk Feminist Collective dissected Kreayshawn in a very well-written piece that resonated with me on so many levels:
The White Girl Mob media darling blowing up the interwebs whose potential deal with Sony is making waves makes me angry in a way I haven’t been in a long time. Her appropriative swag is yet another reminder (not that we needed any more this month) of how little black women are valued in our society, even in genres we co-create. In a moment where cool is synonymous with swag, a particular manifestation of black masculinity, Kreayshawn’s dismissiveness and denigration of black women animate her success.
However, The Clutch really got to the heart of my issue with Kreayshawn and her general persona:
It’s ironic how the White girl mimicking Black culture has been viewed as quirky, cute, and interesting in the past. But sisters who fashionably rock bamboo earrings, gold nameplate necklaces, and blonde streaked weaves, will inevitably be considered “ghetto” by society. It’s equally problematic that every female emcee post Queen Latifah and MC Lyte who has had massive mainstream success all had to sell sex. Kreayshawn, on the other hand, is able to avoid an over sexualized image because of her whiteness.
That is my problem with her, aside from the fact that her music is garbage, overplayed and overly hyped up. She is able to build buzz and make a name for herself because she's a modern day version of Jim Crow.
Beyonce and her army of girls who run the world in lingerie...
As a fan ofDiplo and "Pon De Floor", I was curious about Beyonce's new song "Run The World (Girls)". I mean, she samples Diplo's cut, so I wanted to see if she turned it into fire. In my opinion, she did not. Naturally, as with everything Beyonce does, there is always a lot of PR and press so we were treated to pictures of her on what seemed like an elaborate, dystopian world type of set. It looked intriguing. I'm not a Beyonce stan, but I've liked some of her work. I wanted to see if the video would at least be worth it. It was amusing if anything... If the concept at the core of Beyonce's video is what the world would look like if "girls" ran things, then we've seriously screwed up this whole suffrage/women's liberation deal up. Hide your daughters...
Today, Janet Jackson released her U.S tour dates for the "Janet Jackson Number Ones, Up Close and Personal" Tour. This release brought back memories of some of her other recent releases--movies like "Why Did I Get Married Too?" and "For Colored Girls".
We all remember that there's one rule: no rules. One love: free xone. Janet's Velvet Rope classic holds new meaning after the latest rounds of Janet Jackson/Tyler Perry collaborations.
"Free Xone" was a liberating song that addressed the freedom to love whoever you wanted to love--heterosexually, homosexually, bisexually, pansexually. Now I'm far too young to comment on when exactly Janet Jackson became a gay icon, but there is no denying she is one.
Janet has followed suit to those before and after her, grouped with legends like Diana, Cher, Babs (Barbra Streisand), Madonna, Beyonce, Gaga and all the other one-name wonders. It seems only tradition that when a female icon gains a large gay male following, we shorten her to a one-name moniker. My experiences tell me it is out of honor that her name is shortened because she doesn't need her full name--you know her by her presence. Not to mention the fact that Janet spoke to queer people of color in a contemporary moment where the face of gay men is a white face. She allowed all queer people of color to have at least one Black icon in a mainstream industry consumed by white music artists. Janet was the generation's chosen one, with Diana before her and Beyonce after her.
Now, let's not even front. We all know Janet can't act. From "Good Times" right on through "Poetic Justice" all the way to "For Colored Girls", Janet has been giving us the same persona highlighting her acting capabilities. But we all still go out and support Janet, cause we want to see her. I mean, we didn't all line up to go see "The Hand that Rocks the.." err, "Obsessed" because we thought it was gonna win an Oscar. We wanted to see Bey. That's what a lot of gay fans do--we go to support our artists, because we admire their aesthetic--physical and artistic. This same logic informs a lot of gay men's decision to see the latest Janet movie.
Dammit Obama, on the backs of the working folk, this country will be carried once again. Let me tell you something the elders would warn me when I was younger. They said, "EcoSoul, all money ain't good money." What may look like helping those who are struggling to make ends meet, protects the very same people who have made economic decisions that have put many families in these dire predicaments. If you stretch and bend any more Obama, your position will permanently be called "coopted." In other words, face down, ass up, and requiring little if any vaseline. I'm exhausted dude, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Dare I say it? I swear I don't want to, but I gotta be honest. BET is the only cable network that consistently features black talent. People, I'm scared right now. How did we come back to the same place we were in the 80s? Absolutely few outlets are celebrating the spine of American music, and the breath of global music---soul music.
So I caught a rerun of the Soul Train Awards (oops sorry, I was watching the Eagles game that night) and enjoyed the Anita Baker Tribute. It was refreshing and sad to see phenomenal vocalists that have limited exposure or have been white-washed out of the industry.
Take for example, the genius Rachelle Ferrell. When I was reporting, people said Rachelle would not make it due to her facial expressions.
Have you ever seen them? Nicki Minaj's twisted big mouth ain't got shit on her.
But the melody that comes out of her mouth. Bee-u-tee-ful. And then there was Kem, my gurl Chrisette, Faith (I'm still rocking 'Soon As I Get Home') and Lalah Hathaway.
Then in between the commercials there were performances by Eric Benet, Tank, and other people desperately attempt to revive a career or maintain a fleeting one. If you are an artist in this business, and you think that only good music and the people's choice gets radio play, you are bound to get the creative spirit kicked out of you.
And there’s a storm that’s raging through my frozen heart tonight…
-- John Waite
[Editor's Note:Before I move on to the sex part, allow me to bring to your attention my articlefor the online magazine,Subversify. Every year this day I celebrate an anniversary of sorts. Over the years, I have received many personal messages in response to this story. To be sure, it is my story, but it is also your story as well. I post it in the hopes that it will reach those who need to hear it the most...]
It’s no secret to my lovers (and others) that I have a thing for wrist-slashing love songs. I’m really bad. I once wrote about La Lupe and her mastery of the bolero (ballad), and I still get goose bumps when she sings the opening lines to her La Gran Tirana (The Great Tryant):
Segun tu punto de vista/ Yo soy la ma/ Vampiresa de tu novella/ La Gran Tirana…
(According to your point of view/ I am the bad one/ Vampiress of your soap opera/ The Great Tyrant… )
As sung by La Lupe the words ooze with irony. Not an easy feat. Irony isn’t easy. Melodrama is easy (blah!). Anyone can do melodrama, but irony? Irony, you can’t fake irony. Irony comes from experience. No one else will ever sing that song like her. She owns it, it’s hers...
While I readily admit a fondness for cheesy love songs, I withhold my greatest admiration for those in-yo-face-grow-a-fuckin-backbone-muthufucka love songs. I love angry love songs! In fact, I like to call my poems full-frontal angry love poems.
For example, Tina Turner, one of my all-time favorite artists, sings a love song as if she were sucking a raw cock. This is not meant as a put down. What I mean is that Tina can milk every ounce of emotion out of a love song and somehow you come away from the performance not feeling all cheesy. Tina can do more with an arch of an eyebrow or sneer than most women can do with a whole song. Look at what she did to What’s love Got to Do with It? When she sings the title, you know you’re in the presence of someone who has felt deep, deeeeeeeeep pain and she’s slinging it out, no holds barred. She's almost saying:
Muthafucka, what’s love got to with it?!!
If recovering from a broken heart or a loss of a relationship is comparable to grieving, then denial and anger are its first stages. And many love songs (at least the good ones) speak from that painful, desolate, and barren landscape. One of my favorite love songs is John Waite’s (I Ain’t) Missing You. Waite sings this tough song of loss with a raw transparency reflective of the denial he’s feeling. It’s a denial he readily admits, but when he bangs out, I ain’t missing you… it’s more of a defiant cry borne of profound anguish. Left alone and abandoned by his lover, admittedly missing her and totally consumed by this loss, his only last ounce of dignity is to belt out…
I know you're a musical genius and all; yes, you are in fact "The Dude". But today sir, in my mind's eye, you're an asshole for allowing T-Pain to remake Michael Jackson's "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)". What, did Michael Jackson owe you money? And is this how you get even?
This is pure bullshit; and no, having Robin Thicke on the track makes it no better, Quincy. First off, nobody, and I mean nobody, should ever redo anything Michael Jackson has ever done. But, if you're gonna take a chance on pissing off more than a few people, did you have to have the auto-tune coon on the project?
I mean here I thought MC Hammer making a comeback by starting some bullshit beef with Jay-Z was bad. But now I get wind of this sacrilegious musical crime? But then I realized it was you Quincy who made this shit possible. Yep, and it was you who conveniently skipped out on MJ's memorial with a lame excuse.
Yes Quincy, did you think I forgot the shit you were talking about MJ right after his death? Yeah, I haven't forgotten, and I always thought that was a bitchass move, Quincy. Telling the media that Michael, "obviously didn't want to be black," while they all shit on him when his body wasn't even cold spoke volumes about you.
Hope the money is worth it, Quincy; and I also hope that should you decide to have somebody cover 'Billie Jean' in the near or distant future, that you do us a favor and at least see if they can fuckin hold a note, bitch.
Dammit Beyonce, see what you did? Because of you, now we have 8yr old little white girls dressed as hookers dancing on stage all over the damn internet. Yep, because of you, Beyonce, white folks are a tad bit upset at us black people because of your "Single Ladies' song, and video. Yep, just like back in the day when crack finally made it out to the suburbs.
Back then nobody cared when it ravaged the hood when VCRs suddenly started coming up missing 'n shit. Nope. It was only until the white folks started getting hooked that it became a problem, which created much Anglo-Saxon outrage. You know, sorta like this current viral video has lately:
Now look Beyonce, when it was little black kids and them gays doing it, it was cool; nobody cared. Yep, not even black folks. Shit, we thought it was cute to see lil Tyneesha 'n 'em all over YouTube emulating you and your video. Hell, and when the gays got a hold of it, they lost their rabbit ass minds on and off the internet. Shoot, it was only a matter of time before lil white girls would exposed to this out in the 'burbs Beyonce.
Uh-huh, and us black folks laughed out asses off at them homos, 'cuz, well, you know how we do when it comes to them girly men anyway. But now I turn on my TV last night and I see a white man on CNN Headline News mad as hell over this shit. I swear I think he even called you a n*gger when he spoke, Beyonce. Yep, he said f*ck you and your big nose husband and all that hippity hoppity nonsense.
Yes, them folks was that mad, and just like back in the day, Nancy Reagan, who is now 163yrs old, is working on a new "Just Say No," commercial. Damn right, Just Say No to black culture and this type of f*ckery. See Beyonce? See what happens when you popular? No, I ain't talkin about lil female chipmunks singing your stuff in movies. I'm talkin about white folks having to justify and accept this mess like we do.
[Editor's Note: In light of the unfortunate passing of my man Guru (pictured on the right next to DJ Premier) from the legendary Hip Hop group Gang Starr. I thought it important to showcase just how much of an impact their music has made in urban youth culture. To do so I've enlisted my man The Humanity Critic (@HumanityCritic on Twitter) free lance writer and contributor to the now defunct Vibe Magazine, of the blog The Nappy Diatribe. For me, DJ Premier & Guru, together as Gang Starr, left an indelible mark on the man that I am today through their music. The question I have now for Hip Hop is 'Who's Gonna Take The Weight'...?]
This is going to sound shallow, but it won't surprise the people out there who know me that I feverishly keep my snob game tighter than convent vagina. But there are some things in life that I simply believe transcend opinion and simply become fact, and anyone in the slightest opposition of that is either acting like a wiseacre contrarian or happened to born with a mild case of retardation due to being the offspring of forbidden sibling 'love'. You don't necessarily have to believe that Michael Jordan was the best basketball player ever to touch a leather ball, but his 'philandering, historical failure to ever take a stand on anything' ass better be in the discussion. Same thing with Walter Payton when it comes to running backs, I actually elbowed a guy in the face once just because he gave me a very indifferent sounding 'Ahh, he's alright' retort when talking about the great Stevie Wonder. That explains why 'High Fidelity' is one my favorite flicks, primarily because I subscribe to the philosophy in the movie that 'Its not what you're like, its what you like' - this is going to sound fucked up I know, but I can tell whether or not I'm going to get along with a person solely based on their tastes in music and movies.
But therein lies the rub, what's a chubby snob like myself to do when a woman I'm seeing, one who I feel is otherwise flawless - takes it upon herself to very cavalierly sully the good name of a man who I hold so near and dear to my heart? Let me explain. About a month ago, while ruining my liver amongst a slew of career alcoholics and women who look like they grew up next to nuclear reactors at my local watering hole - a very beautiful woman waked in, sat down, and sparked off a conversation with me on the strength of my ring-tone being Big Daddy Kane's 'Raw'. Immediately I knew she was a Hip Hop fan, 'check'. I asked what her nationality was and she said she was Portuguese, she was what I imagined the woman in Rakim's 'Mahogany' looked like, so 'check' like a motherfucker. Granted, she was younger than I would have liked, but I quickly counted on my fingers like a retard doing long division and figured out that she's been legally drinking for 6 years, not too bad.(Besides, I haven't been lustfully touched since the first episode of 'My Name is Earl' - I had to relax my usually stringent age requirements this time)
So I heard Erykah Badu has a new song and video in which she gets butt-booty-nekkid. Knowhumtalmbout? I mean National Geographic naked with titties hanging out minus the bone in her nose. I'm talking so naked that as my man Dollar Bill said it, "You can see her public hairs." Apparently more than a few folks were upset with this display, as it has been the talk on Twitter recently.
So considering that I'm a few days away from major eye surgery; I wanted to be sure to get a glimpse of the woman who I happen to think possesses possibly the most powerful vagina and sexuality in the world... or at least the black community, before they ban the joint. Or before I totally lose all of my vision. Not that I'm one of these thirsty male Negroes or anything; I just wanted to see what the fuss is all about.
Check it out:
You know what? I totally get this video, and I think it's awesome! Oh how my people continue to die mentally as they continue to miss the message. Which when you think about it, actually speaks volumes to, and about, the very theme of the video. Here's a video which artistically captures the historical character assassination of the black woman; using Dallas TX., as the setting, circa the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. But yet, Neo-Negroes are grumbling and continue to be perpetually enslaved mentally all because of....
"So don't be actin like you don't be backin that stuff up, girl in the club that's what you got ass for." - Mystikal (Shake Ya Ass)
Well, from the looks of it, everyone is getting in on the charitable bandwagon for Haiti. There was a telethon aired on MTV, Hip Hop for Haiti, and a host of other events aimed at raising funds for the beleaguered nation in the wake of one of the worlds worst natural disasters. In downtown Toledo Ohio, Marilyn's On Monroe got in on the act last weekend in assisting with funds for relief as advertised:
A couple of weeks ago in a featured post by Renee of Womanist Musings. We discussed the sexualization of black women as it played out in a new PETA ad campaign that featured a nude model. In that post I think we pretty much came to the conclusion that the ad was exploitive of black women; at least that's the idea many people who commented arrived at. I mean anytime a woman's body is used (or taken advantage of) to push a message or an agenda it's sexist, right? Shoot, we even discussed the exploitation of Beyonce's sexuality in the music industry in another post by my blog sister Seattle Slim.
Well, with that in mind, do we feel the same way about the undertakings of Marilyn's Of Monroe in Toledo Ohio? I'm just asking because I'm sure the people in Haiti could care less if any of the money used to purchase supplies came out of the crack of some strippers ass, or out of the pockets of the Pope himself.
Personally I found it funny that the "Christian" organization had no problem taking the money. Nor had any qualms with where any of the money is coming from. I especially loved the line "We don't have a right to judge a persons heart, if somebody is doing something they have to do for a living then that's the way it is." I loved it especially because we're often taught that "All money isn't good money."
But I guess the tragedy in Haiti warrants compromise, so I understand. Yep, and I can see a Dope Boys For Haiti fund coming real soon. That said, are you willing to compromise on your morals and principles and accept this act of charity even if it supports a patriarchal system? I mean clearly these women "own their sexuality," right? That said, is it really sexist, if the end justifies the means? I really would love to hear your thoughts, on this one. You can read the story at the Huffington Post, and I think you'll find the comments as interesting as I did.
So I heard the other day that they were remaking the USA for Africa 80s classic We Are The World as a charitable effort to help victims of the earthquake in Haiti. Then I heard that Lil' Wayne was gonna be one of the artists featured in the song and singing Bob Dylan's part, no less. My first inclination was to run up on somebody and do a Rambo, just because. I mean did they invite him to be on the track because, well, he himself looks like a starved child from the Sudan? But then I heard they also invited Fonzworth Bently; you know, Pdiddy's jigging no talent havin' umbrella carrying Negro man-servant?
Surely inviting Lil' Wayne had nothing to do with him being a top selling popular Hip Hop artist, and had more to do with the sympathy factor, right? Nothing like seeing a malnourished looking black guy with gold in his mouth covered in tattoos to bring white folks to tears. OK, yeah, so I don't particularly care for Lil' Wayne; you got me; guilty as charged. However, I heard what he said at the end of a recent press conference discussing the remake and, well, I'll let you check it out:
The virtual clean sweep enjoyed by Beyonce at the Grammys was proof of one thing -- modern music is in bad shape.
Okay, a white, 30-something Irish bloke probably isn't the exact target market for a black woman who purveys a blend of soulless, poptastic R&B and while, in fairness, some of her songs are infuriatingly catchy, let's get real -- we're not exactly talking about Ella Fitzgerald here.
But she seems like a pleasant enough modern pop creation who is careful not to say anything that would alienate her fanbase.
So, you would think that after her success at the Grammys, she is an inspiration to black women. But you would be wrong. And quite possibly a racist as well.
Beyonce had blonde hair at the awards and this prompted black commentator Teshima Walker of National Public Radio to fume: "I know that blonde hair is associated with white women and beauty. I saw how men respond to girls and women with golden hair ... But now I think maybe black stars should help African-American women release the hold that blonde hair has had on us."
Hmmm....Definite food for thought. I would say that the clean sweep by Taylor Swift AND Beyonce at the Grammy's indicates that the music industry, and pop culture consuming society, is in trouble. Period. And for an "Irish bloke" he seems to have hit the nail on the head. He's not saying anything most of the black intelligentsia in these blog streets hasn't been saying for years now. Welcome to the party, Ian!
I remember when 3LW came out. I was like 17 years old or 18 years old and stationed in California. Their first single "No More (Baby, I'ma Do Right)" was so cute. I mean it was perfect for my little teenaged ass. I mean I dug it. Fast forward a decade later, and Adrienne Bailon did some "hoe shit" to get some attention (and failed), and now here comes Kiely Williams (aka The Fast One) with this new song called "Spectacular."
Most of you, probably get annoyed by Christmas music on the radio, in the office, being played 24/7. Wouldn't it totally suck if there was a Christmas music radio station that played nothing but Christmas music all year long? And wouldn't it be really messed up if your boss was raised by elves and he kept the office radio on that station all year long? Yeah, the though that it's not like that, is what gets me through this season at the office every year. Although I hate the music, I'm thankful that my boss wasn't raised by an Amish guy with a weight problem who has a fetish for midgets and reindeer.
My favorite Christmas song on the radio is a classic; come to think of it, they're all classics! But my favorite song every year is "Feliz Navidad". I don't know who sings it but I know its done by a Mexican dude; a pretty nice Mexican dude, I might add. He was so nice, that he saw it fit to sing and record the song in part Spanish and part English - yeah, yeah, sure some of you may think he was probably really trynna get a green card when he did that, and I understand. Now I'll be honest, for a long time I didn't know what Feliz Navidad meant, and actually, every time I heard it, I thought he was saying..."RELEASE NAVIDAD."
Yup, I thought it was a song about a Hispanic dude named Navidad sitting in jail for fence jumping or some other one of the many crimes those "illegal aliens" are known to commit. I always thought it was pretty cool how the dude who sung it remembered his friend at Christmas. Not many people think about people in jail at Christmas time, so I thought it was quite noble of the guy. I mean, he wanted his friend released from jail for the holidays, and I'm sure everyone in jail around Christmas time wishes they were at home with their families.
(EDITORS NOTE: My man Mason Jamal of the blog Mason Says drops science as he does here at the Intersection today. Do check him out and show him some love by visiting his site and adding it to your Blogroll. His blog is definitely one worth reading and I'm honored to share 'the corner' with him today. You can also follow Mason on Twitter @masonsays.)
I hate it, although I get it. But since hating something is like a natural born instinct that humans share, let me start with the latter because ‘getting it’ requires a more thoughtful process. So I get that people, of a certain age demographic, like their music loud. And it really doesn’t matter by what conduit – earphones, car stereo, clock radio, television, computer speakers, etc. I live with a sixteen-year-old. I hate it, although I get it. I realize that volume is like drugs, albeit less insidious. The more you consume, the higher your tolerance elevates and, therefore, the more you need of that particular thing to fulfill that rush. In fact, if you merge the two worlds of volume and drugs, you get some warped anthem like “Play it Loud. I’m on Crack & I’m Proud”. But I digress.
In some cases, however, it’s not just volume for the sake of volume. I’m telling you. I’ve given this some thought and I get it. Music blaring from car stereos is of particular interest. Look, I live in a Cincinnati neighborhood that Katt Williams calls home. Need I say more? It’s very urban and very unapologetic about it. With that, comes our fair share of cars (registered and unregistered) cruising down the street sounding like a block party rolling on dubs, whatever the hell dubs are. But as I was saying, the volume is about more than just vanity. For young black men, there is an element of social resistance at play, literally and figuratively. For some, it’s very conscious. For others, it’s planted deep in their sub-conscious. For many of the young men that I see and ‘hear’ everyday, they feel set aside and discarded by mainstream society. Right or wrong, they feel their voices are muted. This is where the music comes into play. It’s a rebellious messenger of how they see themselves.
If I knew that shit would be as f*cked up in the new millennium as it is, I would have partied harder in 1999 – damn you Prince. Let’s see, Bush gets elected, and then a few months after his inauguration I lost my job due to corporate downsizing – hell, the towers hadn’t even fallen yet. And here we are almost 10yrs later and pretty much everybody is up shit’s creek without a paddle or a friggin life jacket. Damn I miss the 90s, with Puff Daddy and the shiny suits.
So the other day I’m whippin’ the ride around the city, and I turn to one of the two local stations for Hip Hop. Of course I rarely listen to these stations but this day in particular I had an itch. After maybe ten or fifteen minutes of listening I was infuriated. No, I wasn’t mad at myself for being a glutton for punishment by listening for what today passes as Hip Hop music. Instead, I was mad because it seemed as if all these assholes with songs on the air were clueless to the fact that we’re in a deep recession.
When the unemployment rate is at a 26yr high nationally and the rate of employment for Blacks and other minorities are as staggering as they are. The last thing I wanna hear is some fool on my radio talking about how much money he has and how much of it he throws away or wipes his ass with. When there’s a home foreclosure every 13 seconds in this country I seriously don’t think I wanna hear about how you make it rain on hoes or your 75 inch rims on your 1976 Chevy Nova, or how your pitbull drinks Cristal. I mean, that's unless rappers are the only employed Black people right now, that is; then and only then is that type of talk positive, uplifting and motivational.
Yep, why finish high school when you can be a rapper, right?
No seriously, I know rappers are not the only people currently with money in this country. And the fact that they are insulting my intelligence in ways that a big booty stripper could get away with back in the day pisses me off. I mean obviously these chowder-heads aren’t aware of the state of the economy. Shit man, not trying to be the disgruntled old school Hip Hop fan, but whatever happened to music that related to everyday people, or the realities of the everyday struggle? You know, that whole “Don’t, push, me, cuz', I’m, close, to, the, edge,” thing? What, did they hand out reparation checks and forgot to let a brother know?
In the ever popular “keepin’ it real” landscape that is Hip Hop, is this truly what is really happening? I’m 39yrs old and if this is indeed the way rappers are living someone needs to let me know quickly. Yes, because that would mean that at my age it’s not too late to pursue a onetime childhood dream of being a dope MC, meeting Kim Fields and getting married.
Damn straight!
While the rest of you losers are out here complaining about the state of the economy, and the price of milk while waiting on unemployment checks. I’ll be spending my ringtone money and eating food off of the platinum plaques on my wall as I watch the movie Scarface for the 5,500th time; why should Lil' Boosie and company have all the fun gettin' wiped down. Somebody get me Mr. Rourke's phone number so him and the midget Tattoo can make it happen.
Who said dreams never come true, right?
Oh well, don't tell that the guy who wrote this song...
His name is K'naan, he was born in Somalia and is currently a rapper...
Black people, yeah, yeah, yeah I know; it’s a sad, sad day for us. In case you didn’t know, the city of Chicago lost its bid to host the 2016 Olympics to Rio de Janegro or one of those countries on the Southside of Mexico. Yep, and it’s especially sad because such an event would have provided so much for our Mississippi cousins who all migrated to the north to escape the horrific life that was the south after Lil’ John came out screaming Bia Bia.
I don’t know what’s worse; not getting the Olympics or knowing that the two most powerful Black people in the world failed. Do you realize just how big this is? Shit, if Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey couldn’t get the Olympics to be hosted in Chicago, we Negroes should just g’head and forget about reparations, jobs, getting’ rid of the bumps on the back of Forrest Whitaker’s neck n’ all’dat. Yep, throw the idea of Obama being president and gettin’ the bad credit of Negroes erased out the window, son; we’re screwed, and we should all find us a late night talk show host to extort while we still can. I could be wrong, and Rush Limbaugh could be right; but maybe Chicago would have won if Obama had his ACORN homies stuffing the ballot boxes at the vote.
One question: Were they not feeling his sales pitch in Copenhagen because he's Black or because they're not down with the idea of Universal Health Care for the entire world?
With Cook County Illinois being the county with the largest Black population per capita in the country getting the Olympics would have been a major economic boost. Hell, do you know how many Black people in Chicago were looking forward to that money? Shoot, Negroes have already been kickin’ out dead beat relatives who pay rent with food stamps! No shit, all this week after the news that Obama and Oprah was going to Copenhagen, folk been breaking out the Febreeze and the good dishes so they can list rooms on Craigslist for $1000.00/night.
I don’t know if you realize it or not, but renting a room to some white folks from overseas for a few weeks who know nothing about Cabrini Greens, J.J. Evans, or Good Times is a major come up. And you know what’s messed up right now? I could just imagine all the talk about how them white folks were scared to come to Chicago after that Derrion Albert video was all over the internet the other day. Yep, you know they gonna say it was because Negroes don’t know how to act, right? Which is bullshit because it ain’t like Toni Kucoc who used to play with the Chicago Bulls ever had any problems with n*ggas when he used to go to Chik Rick’s on the weekends (BTW: Chicago people? Is The Copper Box on 79th still open?).
Truth is: Chicago lost it's Olympic bid because R. Kelly is a free man; and you know what that means...
On some real shit, I hear Obama ain’t too happy about losing the bid. Hell, I heard Oprah was so depressed afterward that she decided to give Stedman some booty instead of Gail. Word on the street is that Obama is ‘bout to slip some of that act right in that Swine Flu vaccine just fo’ dem fools in the Chicago astreets. I think in all seriousness it would have been a major boost to the city’s economy as does any major international event hosted anywhere. I also do believe that some of the disappointment is due in large part to the current state of the economy. Which is sad because it’s not like jobs would be created overnight had they won the bid today. But hey, I guess when all you hear is bad news as things get tougher, any good news is welcomed.
Don’t feel bad Chicago, it could be worse…
Aside from the Chicago Cubs…
You could be like Cleveland; a city full of loser teams and suicidal sports fans.
Oh, did I ever tell you? Nope? RiPPa loves to dance. Yes he sure does. But even so, there are just some dances RiPPa will not do. As a matter of fact RiPPa gave up on trying to do the butterfly somewhere around 1998. Ok yeah, so the dance had been long played out, but it was one dance RiPPa never mastered or got. He knows how to do the "Roger Rabbit", the "Running Man", the "Prep"; hell, RiPPa even sometimes catches himself doing the "Snake" while driving in traffic. What can I say; RiPPa loves to dance and loves music.
But this is one dance he won't be doing:
What you just saw in that video was not only proof that Obama's Stimulus isn't working, but dance craze/music genre called Sissy Bounce. Yes, if the Stimulus Package was working these fools would be working and not have the spare time to create such homo-eroticism and pass it off as the latest in dance moves. Did you happen to notice the dude at the beginning of the video? Yeah, just in case you had a hard time figuring it out, he's gay.
Yep, and he's a well known tranny rapper who uses the name Sissy Nobby . Can you imagine answering your door only to be greeted by some shit like this? What I'd like to know is which came first: the homosexuality, or the dance? Or more specifically, did Sissy - I really hate calling a homosexual male sissy; it seems so derogatory - create this dance? Or is this just a gay dude being an opportunist and using said gayness to promote a song sorta like gay dudes did with that whole Beyonce "Single Ladies" thing. Oh well, it's not like he's on stage singing "I eat the p*ssy," while using children as back up dancers.
Here's more Sissy:
Umm, I hoping that girl who jumped on stage was at least wearing clean draws. Look, as I said before, I love to dance, and I realize that this is just the latest version of the hypersexual craze that was New Orleans Bounce music from back in the day. Uh huh, every now and then I catch myself singing the now famous line "Do it baby stick it, baby do it baby stick it," or "Shake that ass like a salt shaker." Yeah, I know it's embarrassing to know that RiPPa says those things. But hey, RiPPa was once a horny young man up in the club grinding up on women while chanting "It must be your p*ssy 'cuz it ain't yo' face."
But I must admit, now that I am a lot older, I have a hard time picturing myself in a club doing a dance called the Sissy Bounce; sorry, but my inner homo is not crying to come out or get attention; not only that, but fat dudes like me don't look fly in skinny jeans. Now don't get me wrong. RiPPa would enjoy watching a grown woman do that dance while holding up the wall of a club. But I'd be damned if I do some dance made famous by a rotund gay tranny who wears skinny jeans.
Personally I think it's a damn shame that this is coming out of New Orleans. Four years after Hurricane Katrina where the city is not entirely back on it's feet, this is the last thing you need to be known for. Not trying to be funny or wish death on anyone, but I think the levees need to break one more time and wash Sissy Nobby out into the Gulf of Mexico. Yep, death to Sissy Bounce and Sissy Nobby . We're having a hard time trying to kill the use of auto-tune in music as is, and the last thing we need is this crap. No joke, its bad enough we have to still see and hear Lil Mosquito Wayne, let’s just hope that he doesn't come out of the closet and torture America with it for the next 3yrs.
Awww man! Here I was just over on the Field Negro's spot leaving a comment on a post about the state of music, or the garbage that passes for it on the radio, and I come back to this next story. The hat-tip for this one goes out to Mrs. Brock of the blog The Old Black Church! (Whatever Happened to the Black Church?). The real irony of this story is that it involves dancehall music in Jamaica.
Well, over at my man Field's post I left a comment saying that I listen to a lot of dancehall with some very sexually suggestive lyrics, and thankfully my 15yr old doesn't understand what the hell is being said in those songs. Well, my 15yr old may not be able to understand what the hell the rude boy n' dem be sayin in those songs, but I'm sure she can read, and even she may find this disturbing.
You see, it would seem that there's a problem in Jamaica folks. No, it's not the weed, or the rampant crime. The problem in Jamaica is that people - namely men - are having so much fun in the clubs like my man in the pic above, that they're breaking their penises. Yeah, I know right? I didn't know the penis had a bone either. Ok so I'm just kidding about the bone thing, but Negroes are breaking their penis' doing some dance called Daggering. What is "Daggering" you might ask? Well, it's nothing but the latest dance craze sweeping the island.
Here's a brief description:
Here’s what the ‘daggering’ dance craze involves: Basically, it’s taking the practice of grinding while dancing to the next level. Guys dance around with an erect penis trying to poke the ladies with it. It’s more or less simulated sex on the dance floor. Now, here’s where it gets interesting - apparently some guys have taken the practice into the bedroom, poking their partners anywhere and everywhere and when things get too rough, they fracture their penis, causing extreme pain, swelling and bruising. [Source: The Frisky]
Umm, dancing and grinding on a woman in a club is one thing, but jumping off the headboard with an erect penis is not the smartest thing in the world to do folks. I know people do some "strange" stuff in bed, but poking your partner anywhere and everywhere is kinda out there to me. I mean seriously! What makes a guy wanna poke a woman with a hard dick, like under her armpit? Don't laugh, being poked any and everywhere would mean that some fool is doing some shit like that; and lord knows where else they choose to poke liberally with the wee wee.
Jamaica’s Broadcasting Commission, which defines daggering as a "colloquial term used in dancehall culture as a reference to hardcore sex or what is popularly referred to as 'dry sex' or the activities of persons engaged in the public simulation of various sexual acts and positions", enforced the ban in February.
“There shall not be transmitted through radio or television or cable services, any recording, live song or music video which promotes the act of ‘daggering’, or which makes reference to, or is otherwise suggestive of ‘daggering’,” the Jamaican Broadcasting Commission’s official statement said.[Source]
Now I can understand one idiot doing it, but for it to be the latest craze? I don't know folks, me being from Trinidad & Tobago, and being used to winin’ up on a fat bamsee as we say, I have to wonder what my Jamaican cousins are putting in the weed these days. From the looks of it, Shabba Ranks wasn't or isn't the only one who is "Wicked Inna Bed". These cats are off the chain thinking they can use Mr. Bozak as a weapon as they try to stab women with it. Apparently this has become such a problem that the gov’t in Jamaica is cracking down on any media promotion of the dance. I’ono y’all, but I think they need to crackdown on the weed or something.
“He who warned uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.” -- Sarah Palin on Paul Revere
