Separate But Comparable?: A Response to VH1's New Show Being Questioned as the Black "Sex and the City"

In 1896, Homer Plessey--a "Negro" who could pass as white--refused to leave the "whites only" designated cart, resulting in the infamous Plessey v. Ferguson decision. Plessey v. Ferguson mandated what would eventually become an American celebrated tradition--"separate but equal". It would not be until the 1954 Supreme Court case, Brown v. Board of Education, that Americans would come to find out that "separate" will never be equal in a society that favors whiteness and all the privileges associated with it. Some hundred years after Plessey and fifty years after little Linda Brown fought with others to overturn Plessey, we are still engaged in a fight for integration. Or are we?

Last week, Jezebel posted an article response to a new VH1 series set to air this May--"Single Ladies." A series with a seemingly strong presence for Black women, the show seems to have been inspired by last year's Beyonce -induced phenomenon. America fell in love when a married woman told other women to embrace single-hood. Confused? Yeah, me too. Don't ask questions.

Jezebel's article asserts "Single Ladies" might have led people to see themes from another popular cultural phenomena, "Sex and the City." Claiming the show is not the Black SATC, I began to wonder why it was every time a "Black show" comes out it is instantly compared to whatever popular [read: white] show or icon out there? Is it because Blackness and whiteness have been constructed through a dialectical of opposition? Is it because we live in a white supremacist nation that believes, reinforces, and promotes this myth of white superiority?

Whatever it is, it seems to rely on a historical amnesia to the realities that face marginalized communities and media in general. "Single Ladies", a show strongly and clearly marketed to Black women, follows a legacy of affluent "Black" shows. Why is "Single Ladies" already being compared to shows like "Sex and the City" instead of in the likes of "Living Single", "Girlfriends", hell "227"? Why must a show about Black women constantly battle a lack of visibility, but then when visibility is gained, battle being held against a white standard?

A Good Tongue Lashing

I don’t know what happened to the art of kissing. Of all the boy/girl activities I have striven to master over the years the one thing that has remained my favorite above them all is kissing. It’s my personal experience that a lover who knows how to work them lips on the face is equally good at working THEM lips while GIVING face.

But….I digress.

Kissing is the single most intimidate act there is. Kissing can be more intimate than sex in my opinion since you can have sex with a person and still be distant (before, during and after). But I dare you to pucker up and plant one on a person and not find yourself connecting to them in more ways than just the initial touching of lips.

Kissing involves swapping spit, inhaling each others breath, adapting to each others breathing and having coordinating body language. A man’s kiss has made me fall in love (-ness) and a man’s kiss has made me shun any further affection from him while also abandoning all hopes of him being the ‘next Mr. Right’.

I don’t need words to tell volumes of information about a person; it’s in their kiss. The decision of a man to feel my body, the feel of a his hands on my body, where he chooses to touch me, the intensity of his touch all give me clues as to the type of love he may have in store for me. The feel of the tension in his body when we kiss, the sloppy greed of his mouth during our kiss, pursed and taunt lips reveal that he is not comfortable with himself in this intimate act…so what the fuck am I supposed to do with him?