BREAKING: U.S. Senate Approve Funds for "Slavery Reparations"

Negronia (NNN) -- In a move that will surely have African Americans finally indebted to the Democratic party after all these years. The U.S. Senate all but quietly passed legislation which would see $1.25 billion being funneled to black folks throughout the nation. With a Black president currently leading the free world, the measure was disguised as a long awaited settlement in a lawsuit addressing grievances of discrimination filed by black farmers. A strategic move so as to eliminate the perception of racial bias on the part of white America, given the president's race; a precarious position for America's first half-black president.

Much like the slow travel of news of emancipation centuries ago, many African Americans are oblivious to this development. Which could be a good thing for the economy's sake. With the unemployment rate currently around the 10% mark. The last thing we need for the few one thousand or so employed African American workers in America, is for them to quit their jobs upon the realization that there's no need to ever work again. But at the same time, given that consumer demand is down, this news can be seen as a huge economy boost.

Black leaders across the land are urging African Americans to proceed with extreme caution in light of this announcement. Clutching a bible while scratching off a freshly purchased lottery ticket, one prominent "black leader" who requested to remain anonymous for fear of being labelled a "hater", "sellout", and "slave catcher" had this to say to NNN (Negronia News Network):

"Just because the price of gold has shot up after this announcement, doesn't mean we should start pre-ordering them Cadillac Escalades just yet, fools! Sheeeeit, wait for the KFC stocks to go up first! That's how we gon' know we really gettin' our money... Wall Street don't lie!!!"

Racism Goes Paranormal: It's No Longer Racial Profiling, It's a 'Sixth Sense'

Lemme tell you something: I stay away from the paranormal shit. Not that I believe in any of it. But when someone else goes there with it? That's usually my clue to exit stage left. So now I'm conflicted because my arch-nemesis racism has decided to up his game and go all paranormal on a brotha:


Umm, how exactly are "illegal immigrants" groomed, Steve? No seriously, grooming? I mean, are you trying to say that there's a certain smell exclusive to illegal immigrants? If that's one of the "indicators" that influences the "gifted" in sniffing out illegal immigrants, I guess you're right.

Yep, there's nothing racial about that. I mean, that is if you overlook the whole "what type of accent they have," and "what type of shoes they wear," thing. I mean, it's pretty obvious that all illegal immigrants wear Nikes with the upside down swoosh from those Latin American sweatshops, right?

I swear racism gets more clever by the day.

Rep. Steve King (R-IA): By Default, Obama Favors The "Black Person"

So the ever popular racist xenophobic conservative, Rep. Steve King, was interviewed on the G. Gordon Liddy Show (didn't even know this quack Liddy was still alive) and the subject was Arizona's soon to be enacted immigration law. Oh yeah, I'm hearing Arizona's now working on another piece of legislation which targets the American-born children of undocumented immigrants for deportation. I'll get to that one in a bit, but until then, checkout what King had to say about Obama as a critic of Arizona's legislation:

"When you look at this administration, I'm offended by Eric Holder and the President also, their posture.  It looks like Eric Holder said that white people in America are cowards when it comes to race.  And I don't know what the basis of that is but I'm not a coward when it comes to that and I'm happy to talk about these things and I think we should.  But the President has demonstrated that he has a default mechanism in him that breaks down the side of race — on the side that favors the black person." (source)

OK, so here's the thing. If what King is saying is true about Eric Holder and Barack Obama. Then given the fact that the last 43 presidents have been white. Isn't it only "fair" that the current president's "default mechanism" works just as well as all previous presidents? You know, the ones who never favored the black person? I dunno, King may not be a coward as he says, but he sure is stupid. I mean, if Obama and Holder were white like the how ever many white opponents of this law, would that then make him a race traitor?