Um, so yeah; I'm sure you're wondering if that's her in the pic, right? Well, I hate to break it to you, but yes it is. I mean, not every woman can look like Halle Berry, wear as occasional wig, or even those horrible lace-fronts, right? Of course not. And yes I know that what she did was sick and how she looks doesn't matter. But dammit I can't help it; shit, I'm a man and I have questions. Hell, I was sixteen and horny once; but, having sex with an older woman with a part in her head the size of the Red Sea wasn't a fantasy:
MEMPHIS, Tenn. - A 40-year old woman is facing rape charges after being caught naked inside a closet with a 16-year old teen.
In Brief:
Mary Magdalene Collier was caught naked inside 16-year old boy’s closet.
Both Collier and 16-year old admitted to sexual relationship.
16-year old's mother found them inside closet and filed complaint.
According to an affidavit, 40-year old Mary Magdalene Collier was arrested for aggravated statutory rape after the teen’s mother discovered they were having a sexual relationship.
Both the 16-year old and Collier admitted to having an on going sexual relationship since January of 2011.
The teen’s mother called police after unexpectedly returning home and finding her son partial naked and Collier completely naked inside her son’s closet.
Collier is still behind bars at Shelby County's Jail East and currently has a $50,000 bond. Her next court date is March 3rd. (source)
Ok, OK, Ok... aside from looking like the love child of Mike Tyson and "Uncle Phil" from The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire, what's kind of ironic, is that her friggin name is Mary Magdelene. You know, the chick who was rumored to be an ex-prostitute turned lover of Jesus Christ in the Bible? Yeah, that Mary; not the virgin one. Which if you really think about it, maybe she was "witnessing" to the kid and trynna get some peen on the sneak tip, like some preachers do.
But then again, maybe she's doing an R. Kelly remix...
QUESTION: How do you see this "relationship" coming about?
Memphis Baptist Ministers Association attending Shelby County School Board Meeting
[Editor's Note: With all the talk of inequitable school funding brought about by Kelley Williams-Bolar's case. Today, my man Shady Grady tackling the issue centered around the battle over funding here in Memphis.]
by Shady Grady
How important is integration? Are you more focused on desegregation-the removal of formalized legal barriers that prevented black people from living in certain neighborhoods, marrying non-black people, attending certain schools, working in certain jobs, or doing anything that a white person could do.
That distinction is important to some people. Black conservatives and nationalists (and those with a foot in both camps like the Nation of Islam) weren’t altogether satisfied with the Brown vs. Board of Education Supreme Court decision that put the de jure segregation system on its death bed.
Few thought that segregation was a good thing but instead argued:
Welp, it's February. So you know what that means, right? Yep, screw December; this month kicks off the most wonderful time of the year. Oh and why is that you may ask? It's tax refund season and everyone is happy. Hell, did you think it was just mere coincidence that Black History Month fell in the shortest month of the year? I'm just sayin', like Christmas, there's a reason to the season.
This is the time of year you see a spike in drive-out tags in the rear windows of overpriced shitty cars, Cars that will be either repossessed in a few months time; or have their engine blocks lock up in rush hour traffic, while the freshly rented rims keep spinning as the system loudly pumps the latest garbage that passes for music. But be that as it may, it's still the one time of year one can achieve their hood dreams of vast wealth.
It's also the time of year that families are reunited. It's the time of year that wayward estranged "baby-daddies" decide to reconcile with the mothers of their children. It's the time of year when he decides a Happy Meal or two isn't a bad investment (unlike child support) as he seeks to gain that fresh pair of Jordan, or the aforementioned shitty overpriced car with rims taller than midgets, all sponsored by Earned Income Credit.
Thanks to the government, some will be even happier this year:
WASHINGTON -- Friday is the Treasury Department's Earned Income Tax Credit Appreciation Day, a celebration of what is arguably the U.S. government's largest antipoverty program. And consumer advocates say there is some reason to celebrate: Increased federal oversight, they say, should limit the share of those tax rebates that low-income taxpayers hand over to financial professionals.
[...] Low-income taxpayers frequently use tax-preparation services like Jackson Hewitt or H&R Block to help them file their taxes. On top of fees for that service, such companies frequently sell them loans known as Refund Anticipation Loans or set up Refund Anticipation Checks -- temporary bank accounts that allow taxpayers who do not have bank accounts to receive their tax refunds.
In exchange for receiving their refund check immediately, however, the consumer leaves a piece of their total refund in the bank's account, much like a payday loan. A week or two later, when the full refund arrives, the bank deposits it and pockets the difference.
OK, so I know what you're thinking. Yep, you're probably staring at the pic above and wondering; is this woman really in a bar or nightclub pregnant, and chugging down a few beers? Yeah I know, I did the same thing too; and, a part of me wants to think she's drinking that new Kool Aid that comes in a brown bottle. But then gravity hit and pulled me back to reality; I realized that there are women, who though pregnant frequent these spots without a care.
Case in point, check out what happened to Michelle Lee:
A bar in suburban Roselle could end up in a legal battle after forcing a woman to leave because she was eight months pregnant.
Michelle Lee, a 29-year-old Chicago native now living in Denver, came into town for a baby shower last week and her friends talked her into a night out afterward, ABC News reports.
Lee and her friends went to the Coach House in Roselle--about 30 miles northwest of Chicago--where she planned on drinking some water and having a slice of pizza, until a bouncer approached.
"He said to me, 'I have a personal question to ask you, are you pregnant?' I said yes. Then he said, 'I'm going to have to ask you to leave,'" Lee told ABC.
The other day I had a conversation with a friend. I told him that, unlike most people, I would NOT want to be rich. We discussed that notion, and came to the conclusion that when people say they do not want to be wealthy, what they really mean is that they do not want to be corrupt, and unfortunately, the pursuit of money often corrupts even those who started out as well intentioned.
After hearing this story about an anonymous stranger giving away money to strangers at a Goodwill store in Memphis, TN, I have come to the realization that while wealth causes some people to compromise their values, for those with a generous spirit, having a lot of money can help them bring joy to the lives of others.
MEMPHIS, TN (WMC-TV) - A stranger recently walked in to the Goodwill at Shelby Drive and Riverdale and handed out $50 bills to everyone in the store.
Chestine Dunn, an employee at the store, witnessed the giveaway spree. No one knows the name of the mystery person who handed out the cash. Dunn said the man carried a stack of envelopes with him. Inside each envelope was $50, a surprise for strangers who weren't expecting it.
"It's very nice of him to do that," she said.
Betty Ridenour, who is 86-years-old, was one of the recipients of the stranger's generosity.
"I think everybody was stunned," she said.
Inside the envelope the stranger gave to Ridenour was a crisp, new $50 bill.
The city of Memphis TN. has a huge problem with panhandlers [watch this]. So much so, that they recently passed a new ordinance to which the "lemme hold a dollar man," has to adhere to; no seriously, it's really that bad.
Now, I don't have a problem with people begging for money. And, for the most part depending on how I feel, I may "donate" without even questioning just where my money is going, and for what cause it's being used.
Yes, like you, I've questioned the genuineness of a solicitor for funds - be it the guy on the street, or someone calling me at home. But for the most part, it doesn't determine my willingness to give to the needy. And by needy I'm not talking about the guy with the whiskey stank breath either...
Because I'm a giver...!
Well, that is unless someone pulls off the ultimate scam that may piss you off; a scam much like my fellow Memphian, Alisa R. Harris of South Memphis was able to pull off, until being exposed. No seriously, this is a trip:
Well, you know they say the road to hell is paved with people with good intentions, bibles, Master P's cell phone service, and rusty No Limit platinum chains. So, naturally this being a city with an enormous panhandling problem located in the bible belt where there are churches on every corner...
It isn't surprising that someone here had the gall to go to the lengths as Harris has, to take advantage of poor folks as she has. The burning question I've had since seeing this story on my local news is: why Master P.? Sure he's obscure and forgotten, but why associate the name of his brother - Corey Miller aka C. Murder - with your organization when he's currently serving time for murder?
I'm gonna continue donating to the needy as I always have. I realize stuff like this happens all the time across the country. But the next panhandler I encounter downtown, I'mma make 'em say "uuuughhh!" And as for Alisa R. Harris? I guess the sistah is just "Bout It, Bout It" like that.
The city of Memphis TN. is rich in African American history. It's black population quadrupled between 1860 and 1870 as new freedoms of emancipation took hold. Being the third largest city in the southeast (and 19th largest in the country) with a predominantly black population (62%), one can only imagine just how the current economic fallout has greatly affected the city, and its residents.
The national economic crisis spurred by greed via Wall Street and the bursting of the housing bubble, is currently felt by many here in the city. In fact, this city exists as one of many examples of just how the combination of rising black unemployment, the recession, and foreclosures, have all served to wipe away the gains of the black middle and upper class.
According to a recent study conducted by Queens College for The New York Times, the median income of black homeowners in Memphis, has receded to a level lower than that of 1990 - and roughly half that of white homeowners. Clearly, as unemployment lags during this economic crisis, things will continue to get worse for people of color,not only in Memphis, but nationwide.
Since writing about the recent tragic death of two police officers in West Memphis. I've come to realize that there are lord knows how many crazy people, like Jerry Kane among us. I posted the video discussing the news story last week to my YouTube channel, and ever since I've been at a loss reading the responses from some of the viewers (no seriously, you gotta go to my channel and read that shit). Sure there was the occasional fuck the police comment here and there. But what got me, was the fact that people were heralding him as a hero.
Many of them self-identify as sovereign citizens themselves. Some of them left comments about grand conspiracy theories involving Barack Obama of all people! Yes, these crazy folks are of the belief that Jerry Kane and his son were targeted by the Obama administration! Yep, according to them, he was taken out by CIA assassins. One of them even pointed me to a website that had the inside scoop or the truth on the entire incident written by famed internet hoax queen, Sorcha Faal.
Like me, you've probably never heard of Jerry Kane. Chances are, the two West Memphis police officers he killed after a traffic stop a few days ago didn't either. But here we are a few days removed from that tragic event where four lives were senselessly lost here in the mid-south. And just what was his reasoning? Well, the picture seems to be a bit clearer as to just who 45yr old Jerry Kane actually was:
Jerry Kane was not a man wanted by the police; he wasn't on the run for murder or any other serious crime. Instead, like a few we've seen emerge over the last year and a half. He was a man with a belief. A firm belief which suggests, that government encroaches upon his freedoms, here in the US of A. Yes, Jerry Kane was a right-wing, anti-government, white supremacist who made no bones about what he stood for or believed. He believed himself to be a sovereign citizen, or more specifically, a member of the Christian Patriot movement.
People like Kane with a similar mindset, or ideology, have long existed in this country. But the question I have is why does it seem like these folks are coming out of the woodwork all of a sudden? When within months of each other, an angry white man flies a plane into an IRS building, and a group of people identified as a Christian Extremist Militia are arrested by the FBI. One has to ask: What the fuck is really going on in America?
What's causing all of this? Surely it cannot be the election of a black president, or the subsequent racist anti-government rhetoric that has suddenly dominated our political landscape. Surely that has nothing to do with it, no? I'm guessing we'll have to wait on an assassination attempt on the president before that question can be answered.
I mean this isn't exactly one of those cults waiting on a spaceship to take them to another world beyond the stars. These are people who aren't afraid to act on their beliefs. These are people who are resigned to the fact that if innocent people are injured in the process, then so be it. In the case of Kane, those innocent victims were not only two West Memphis police officers, but also his 16yr old son who he has withheld from attending school his entire life. A life cut short because of the marriage of politics and religion.
Look, I often highlight the wrong doings of police officers across the country on this site; police officers who are sworn to uphold the law, who deserve to be exposed for their actions. But I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the fact that theirs is a function that is extremely dangerous. It is bad enough that they have to encounter the obvious criminal element among us, and risk their lives. But it is even scarier to think that there are people like Jerry Kane who though not criminals, are willing to commit murder and assault authority, all because of his belief.
I hate to say it, but the world is better without him. And lastly, his friends and family have some nerve demanding compensation from the West Memphis police department for the burial of this asshole. But hey, that's how that white privilege thing works, no? Ideology aside, I say that much of his entitlement is predicated on him being a white man. But I could be wrong, and Barack Obama could be right. Maybe they do cling to their guns or religion or antipathy towards people who aren't like them, as a way to express their frustrations.
So I've been living in the city of Memphis for the last 4yrs. And just when I decide to start "claiming" the city as my home within the last year or so, some of the craziest shit makes the news down here, forcing me to hang my head in shame. You can go through my archives and find some of the Madness I've blogged about involving parents and children in my new beloved hometown (like this & this).
In my archives you'll find a story I wrote several months ago about the pot-bellied ninja serial rapist that terrorized not only the city but western Tennessee. He has since been caught and arrested, but lo and behold, we have a new ninja on the scene in the form of a black woman last week here in the Bluff City:
MEMPHIS, TN (WMC-TV) - A spitting match between two students at Riverview Elementary School Monday apparently led to a bizarre encounter in the office Tuesday morning.
"She had spit on me so I spit on her back," said second grader Aaliyyah Price.
Price and her grandmother spoke with us from the family's home. They said 32-year-old Toni Price went to the school to confront the parents of the girl who spit on her daughter.
"She said she went up there to talk to the girl's parents," said Bennie Price. "But the girl's parents wasn't there."
According to court records, Toni Price ended up inside the school where an employee reported a drunk woman was armed with a sword running through the halls of the school. She told police Price was threatening to cut her.
Officers who arrived on the scene retrieved a black walking cane in which a long sharp blade is concealed.
"When I got up there I took the cane," said Price's mother, Bennie. "I had it, police drew guns on me, and I didn't know what was going on."
Price's mother believes she probably had the weapon to ward off pit bulls in the neighborhood and had no idea where she may have gotten such a weapon.
"I don't know," she said.
She said she does know her daughter would have never actually hurt anyone inside the school.
Price told police she drank a 40 ounce bottle of Colt 45 before going to the school. She's charged with aggravated assault and for having a weapon on school property. Her bond is set at $4500. (Source)
"Call the police! There's a drunk Ninja with a sword running through the school hallway!" Can you just imagine that scene unfolding in front of your eyes? Yep, nothing like a 40oz of Colt 45 to put you in the proper frame of mind for a parent teacher conference. Not that this woman's action is reflective of the behavior of her child. But somehow I can't help but to think that 'lil mamma just may grow up to slice and dice a person or two; and now I have to wonder whether she drank a 40oz before spitting on that other kid.
Mrs. RiPPa's best friend is a teacher who once taught here in the Memphis City Schools district. And I've heard some crazy stories of parents showing up to school from being barely clothed to being belligerent assholes to teachers for reprimanding their bad ass children. But this one takes the cake thus far. Last semester as I was sitting in the parking lot of the high school my 16yr old attends. I was witness to two grown-ass women fighting each other, over an initial fight their daughters had. It was then that I realized that it was no wonder that some of these kids act the way they do in our schools.
Have you ever been discriminated against at your place of employment? Ok, I'll go first and say that I have, and it was on the basis of race. I won't go into details, but just know that I did something about it, and I was quite pleased with the outcome. But this is 2010 and we're post-racial now, right? Surely everyone has caught on by now, and those numbers have declined. Well, in a recent piece by my man Kevin Myles of The Wichita NAACP Blog, this isn't exactly true:
Employment discrimination charges were filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) in 2009 at near record levels. According to the EEOC's annual report, the agency received 93,277 private sector discrimination charges in 2009, the second highest number in 20 years. The Performance and Accountability Report FY 2009 (PAR)noted that the number of private sector charges is projected to exceed 100,000 by the end of fiscal year 2010.
Most notably:
According to the EEOC's fiscal year data, which ended Sept. 30, 2009, three types of discrimination complaints increased over the last year. Disability complaints increased by 10 percent, from 19,453 to 21,451. National origin complaints increased 5 percent, from 10,601 to 11,134. Religious discrimination claims increased 3 percent, from 3,273 to 3,386.
The number of charges alleging age-based discrimination reached the second-highest level ever - 22,778 compared to the 2008 record high of 24,582.
Continuing a decade-long trend, the most frequently filed charges with the EEOC in 2009 were complaints alleging discrimination based on race-based discrimination (36 percent), retaliation (36 percent), and sex-based discrimination (30 percent).
But more interesting and far more illuminating are the statistics on findings of reasonable cause. According to EEOC data released on their website, very few cases ever see the light of day.
Of the 68,710 complaints that were filed on the basis of violations of Title VII of the Civil Rights act, only 188 resulted in lawsuits. (That's 0.27%)
I guess the old saying, "It's not what you know, it's what you can prove," holds true. Fortunately for 23 black men employed here in the city of Memphis, they were able to, as we say in the hood, show and prove via this EEOC press releasel:
My parents almost lost me as a child, but they didn’t take me far enough into the woods. I don’t know, but maybe 23-year-old Melanie Dunn of South Memphis should have done the same. Instead, she thought it was a good idea to leave her 3yr old and 2yr old sons at home alone for an hour while she went shopping with her aunt. Yeah, I realize that this is something you and I will never do. But it’s been reported that this wasn’t the first time she had done such a thing.
The only problem, this time around, there was a fire in her apartment which left her 3yr old son dead, and his 2yr brother in critical condition in a local hospital fighting for his life. I don’t want to belabor the finer points of “good parenting” or anything. But just know that as a father of a 2yr old I have a hard time finding confidence in leaving her in my home unattended while I run to the mailbox; much less leaving her unattended at home for an hour like Melanie Dunn did.
Unfortunately Melanie’s aunt who accompanied her while she shopped at a local Citi Trends store doesn’t feel that way. According to Marilyn Wilson – aunt of the children – she has no regrets about leaving them at home alone. When questioned by reporters about regrets, she had this to say:
“No, I really don’t because if they had been there by themselves, I don’t know if the boys set the house on fire or somebody threw something in there to set it on fire. I really need to get in there to see if my purse burned up. I had my Food Stamp Card and everything in there.” (Source)
Obviously she doesn’t see the error in their decision making by leaving the kids at home alone. As I mentioned before, this wasn’t the first time this was done. But what’s eating at my craw right about now, is the fact that she was more concerned about her muthafuckin food stamps! That selfish snaggle toothed heifer!
Now look, I’ve lost a wallet a time or two in my lifetime, and yes I wasn’t too happy about it. However, in a situation where the lives of two toddlers were endangered causing a loss of life to one of them. The last thing I would be worried about is my fuckin’ social security card, my I.D. card, my social security card, my Sam's card or my goddamn EBT card. But yet this is what you’re going to say with a mic in your face after being an accomplice to the neglect of a child, which resulted in death?
Charges are yet to be filed against the mother of these children in this case pending further investigation [click here watch video]. What’s the holdup I don’t have a clue. Last year another mother here in Memphis had the bright idea to leave her two kids at home while she went out partying to ring in the New Year on New Year’s Eve. She was subsequently charged with two counts of criminally negligent homicide after her 4yr old and 7yr old sons were killed in an apartment fire.
Thegood news in this case is that the mother of these toddlers also has a 5yr old who was at school at the time of the fire. He has since been placed in the care of another relative. Should the 2yr old survive, it has already been determined that the same course of action will be taken. No word on yet on Marilyn's food stamps, but yet people wonder why the city of Memphis ranks as high as it does in infant mortality [Click to read about Memphis & infant mortality].
The older I get I find myself becoming less and less a fan of Negro greetings. You know, like the high five, a pound, dap, or as some of our melanin deficient kinfolk have now termed the “terrorist fist bump”? Back when I was coming up, there was a new Negro handshake at least twice a week and it was cool to learn them with your boys. But then after a while it got complicated and nothing was more embarrassing than not being in sync with the current handshake and making yourself look like a complete fool in front of your peers. Being the nerd I was, this was always a problem at parties and such.
“Yeah son, tha’ hell you doin’, that shit is like two weeks old, son!”
Did white people ever have that problem? I doubt they ever did; and I’m pretty sure the standard handshake was always good enough. That said, why is that when they encounter “the brothers” as they call us they feel the need to go out of character and hit us with that “gimme five,” thing? I’m sayin’, we don’t even greet each other like that anymore; and I don’t think we have since The White Shadow was canceled. Shit, this ain't the 70's, and we don't play that “J.J. Evans” type shit. We still giving head nods, but we ain't down with that shuckin' and jivin' bullshit; at least me and the people I know are not down with it. No suh, us folk ain't be down wit dat!
Nothing chaps my ass more than when I'm witness or a direct recipient to such shallowness or disrespect. And please believe, I’ve seen it a time or two in my short time on this planet. What, is it too much to shake my hand when you meet me or we’re introduced? In a professional setting no less? One time the Vice President at my then place of employment greeted my then 6yr old like that on one of those “take your kid to work” days. I was never more proud of my daughter when she told him that we shake hands in our family. I guess he was a bit embarrassed as he gave me that nervous but awkward look. Shit, after that encounter he should have given me a raise; I’m just sayin, yo, protect ya neck.
I guess this is why I’m a bit disappointed in Myron Lowery our current Mayor Pro-Tem (who’s Black by the way) when he greeted his holiness the Dalai Lama here in Memphis yesterday. You see, Mr. Lama (hope he doesn’t mind me calling him that) was in town to try out some of that good ole Memphis BBQ he’s heard so much about and smoke weed with Elvis receive the International Freedom Award from the National Civil Rights Museum. Upon his arrival in the city, he was greeted by our mayoral fill-in Myron Lowery with some “Dap” (or a fist bump), and a “Hello Dali!” Supposedly he was joking about the “Hello Dali,” line, and supposedly it took Mr. Lama (see how respectful I am? I called him mister.) some time before he got the joke. But you know what they say: after the laughter comes tears.
I don’t know if Myron Lowery thought it was an audition for the movie Rush Hour 15, and he was the new Chris Tucker, but that shit wasn’t funny. He’s lucky Mr. Lama didn’t take offense and commence to put one of those Shaolin beatdowns on his ass; he did say he thought it was a violent symbol; you never know, he might be down with the Wu-Tang Clan and ain't nuthin to f*ck with. Of course you may not see this as a big deal. But if it isn’t, try the very same gesture the next time you’re on a job interview. Yes, the minute you walk in for your interview, do yourself a favor and greet your interviewer with a fist bump and a “wassup dawg!” Yeah, do that if you’re Black and see how far that gets you. Yep, this is why I get pissed when I see people of color on the receiving end of hipsters who obviously don’t view them as equals or deserving of respect.
There's nothing funny about rape. Actually, it's one of the most reprehensible acts on the face of the earth. However, on my morning drive I heard a story of a serial rapist here in the West Tennessee area that I must share. Yes, and when I heard the story I thought it was funny and I laughed. Well damn RiPPa that was cold blooded. What if he raped one of your female relatives, your wife or even your teenage daughters?Would you be laughing then? Of course not. I never said that a woman getting raped was funny. I said the story I heard was funny.
For starters, this rapist has been dubbed the "Big-Bellied Rapist". According to the report the only description his victims remember is that he has a big belly. Considering that Memphis TN, has the dubious distinction of being the most obese city in the country, I guess it's to be expected; yes, there are a lot of big belly men and women running around these parts. But seriously, how big was this guy's belly for him to stand out in the minds of his victims? Really, no tattoos, scars, distinguishing marks, or moles? Nope, just a big belly. Good luck finding that guy in this town.
Now, here's where the news report I heard got really funny to me. Apparently the "big bellied rapist" has been running around the area wearing a ninja mask, and has been breaking into apartments raping women. Yep, and the news story I heard this morning said that the police have finally put together a composite sketch of this guy unlike the one they've been circulating in their manhunt pictured to the right.
Investigators believe they've linked another sexual assault to the so-called “big-bellied” rapist who has attacked women in Shelby County and Martin, Tenn., authorities said today.
A man wearing a mask broke into an apartment and fondled a woman in Memphis near Whitten and Macon the morning of Aug. 5, said Shelby County Sheriff's Office spokesman Steve Shular this afternoon.
Later on Aug. 5, the suspect is believed to have raped a woman in Martin.
Sheriff's deputies believe the same suspect is responsible because “it was an apartment, it was a break-in, it was a sexual assault, and there was a mask,” Shular said.
The assaults have all occurred in apartments.
The rapist has been described as a masked white man with a large belly, about 6-feet tall and 250 pounds. He had a black handgun and wore a Ninja-style mask.
Investigators believe the man is responsible for assaults on Mikada in Cordova June 27, on Bo Drive in Martin July 24 and Harrison Road in Martin Aug. 5, in addition to the Memphis assault.
“We're still trying to connect the dots right now,” Shular said.
“We're trying to find as many similarities as we can to place the subject's whereabouts, what ties he might have to the Shelby County area and what ties he might have to the Martin, Tenn., area.”
Investigators have found a witness who may have seen the man without his mask, Shular said, and the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation is working to produce a composite sketch of his face. [source]
Now I've already told you that there is no shortage of big belly men in this area, right? Ok, well, how many men do you think are walking around on the streets wearing a ninja mask? Umm, you mean to tell me that police agencies here in West Tennessee have all been on the lookout for a pot-bellied redneck ninja all this time? Damn, and here I thought police sketch artists were racist. I wrote a blog a while back explaining why I felt that way. If you're interested in finding out why CLICK HERE. Maybe this composite sketch disproves the very idea.
Thankfully he hasn't killed any of his victims because I sure would hate to see this play out on an episode of The First 48. Could you imagine the cops combing neighborhoods stopping people and asking if they've seen the fat man in a ninja mask? Not only that, but it happens to be Elvis Week here in Memphis and people come from all over the world in memory of the King. I don't think Elvis fans would like the idea of him getting caught and being the lead suspect in these crimes because he sure fits the description. Hopefully for the sake of women in the area this guy gets caught.
NOTE: Anyone with information is asked to call the TBI at (800) TBI-FIND (824-3463), the Shelby County Sheriff's Office at 545-5600, or Crime Stoppers at 528-CASH (2274).
So I told you folks about this city having the dubious distinction of being the most obese city in the country some time ago. Watching the news yesterday, it dawned on me that I have yet to share the news that this city is also number one in the country when it comes to infant mortality. No joke, it's as serious enough an issue here that there's a conference going this week exploring and seeking to educate single mothers. Well, as if this issue isn't bad enough, in comes the latest story of Memphis fuckery. I caught the news story where yesterday a shoplifter, in an attempt to elude security at a Walmart here in the city, threw a 2mth old baby boy as a diversionary tactic. Uh uh, a 2mth old kid was thrown...TWICE! And here's the kicker...the woman who did it was the aunt of the baby.
Check it out:
Now ain't that some shit? Not only are we in the city the fattest muthafuckas in the country, we have a penchant for causing the death of infants and weilding them as weapons. Now the funny part about this is that the mother of the child was at the store as well. It was said that she was in the bathroom at the time this incident occurred. I don't know about you, but that sounds kinda fishy to me. Sounds like mommy knew good and damn well what the hell her sister was up to.
Yeah, I think she may have been in on the shoplifting hence her convenient bathroom move or excuse. At any rate, this is some bullshit, and as of right now, I don't know if the loving aunt has been apprehended by the police. If I were the mother of the child her ass would have been locked up within an hour of this happening. But hey, you know how that STOP SNITCHING thing works in the hood. If I were a judge, upon conviction I'd make her ass wear a sign like the one in the pic above, and include the mention of her being the baby thrower. Shit, I'd probably have her picture on billboards all across the city.
QUESTION(S):If this were your sister what would you do? Do you think mommy was in on it? What the hell is up with people throwing babies around all of a sudden?
OK, so the story begins sometime early last week. My wife gets a call from her sister with a tip on this hot job here in the city making $21/hr. She was told that it was listed on Monster.com, and that positions were filling up fast. My wife's sister applied online, and was contacted almost immediately, and an interview was set. After her interview, she called my wife to tell her that she got the job. My wife was contacted by the company and an interview was scheduled.
Now, my wife, I swear, works for the FBI or CIA undercover. This is something I've said to her and about her since way back when we were just dating. I promise you, she needs a job with CSI or something. Matter of fact, I hate watching shows like that with her because she always nabs the bad guy like within the first 15 minutes! So anyway, her being her, she decided to investigate this company. Sure she was skeptical, as always, and decided to take to the internet to check this company out. It was then that she found this site (click here). She discovered that the company was a fraud. One in a long list of fake companies that have been used to rip people off, by stealing their identity.
So what does she do? She calls the cops. Yup, my wife is a snitch. Uh huh, since we've been together I've all but stopped my dark side. I've even went as far as to tell her before that if it wasn't for her, there's alotta shit that I could have and would have done. Yeah, I used to be grimey like that. So she calls the cops, but the good ole Memphis Police Dept. told her they couldn't do anything since she wasn't a victim of any crime. Really?? Here we have an individual or individuals wanted in at least 4 states by the FBI, and you won't do anything?? Well that didn't stop her. She contacted her sister (the one who had already been interviewed and got the job) and told her what she had found out. My sister-in-law was pissed because naturally in the hiring process she gave them her info. Well she soon afterward took steps to protect her shit should her social security number ever pop up anywhere on some unknown gank move which would render her credit shot. Cool, she was embarrassed, but at least she felt safe after doing what she had to do.
Meanwhile, my wife, the po-po, was contacted by the company and scheduled an interview with them. I forgot to mention that her being contacted happened BEFORE she checked them out thoroughly. So knowing what she knew, and having contacted the police, she decided not to go to the interview. Instead, a friend of her sister who had also been contacted by the company went to the interview, and called the cops while there. The cops showed up and dude was arrested. The funny thing about this, is that there was a story ran locally on the news just days prior to this happening. We didn't see it, and that was the irony of the whole thing.
So dude goes to jail, and you'd think that would be the end of the story, right? Wrong, its not. A day after dude was booked into the county jail, another news story broke here locally. Turns out, a jailer got in trouble for "accidentally" booking a woman into the all male jail. Uh uh, can you believe that shit? A woman gets arrested and they take her to jail thinking she's a man. Well it turns out, the shim who was arrested, was actually the same dude who was running around rippin people off. Yup, dude looked like a lady. It was only then that they (the cops) came to the realization of who this person really was. It was only then did they discover that this clown had been wanted all over the country, and the local news ran with it.
And this is why the news crew came my house. They contacted my wife after some other victims came out the wood works. I think they found her information on the site linked above thats responsible for this criminals behavior. So they came to the house and did the interview, and her interview was on the 5 o'clock news. When I watched the segment and saw her I laughed. Why did I laugh? I laughed because they said her name was Tasha Phillips. Well, that's not her damn name. She gave them a fake first name (and told them she would) because she's leary of her shit being stolen. I swear, this woman is like agent 007 around this camp. I'm just glad I'm married to her, and I now walk on the right side of the law. Cuz I'd sure hate to be taken down by somebody like her.
She has since removed her resume from Monster.com. In this economy where people are struggling to make it. Where people are losing jobs and have lost jobs, its really sad that there are opportunists who will take advantage of the situation to make a buck. Yes, its really sad. But then again, this is America, land of the free, and the home of the people brave enough to capitalize on the next man. Be careful out there folks because anybody can be got in these desperate times.
My advice: Be careful of who you come across on these job sites. Be sure to screen them properly as you would when meeting and considering bringing a person you meet online to your home to have sex.
“He who warned uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.” -- Sarah Palin on Paul Revere
