Pure F*ckery: O.J. Simpson honored as a Black History Month hero?

Yeah, obviously I realize that February is over, but since some of us are conflicted as to the relevance of Black History Month. I figured I'd take a moment to share this story hot off the press:

LOS ANGELES - Three Los Angeles elementary school teachers accused of giving children portraits of O.J. Simpson, Dennis Rodman and RuPaul to carry in a Black History Month parade have been removed from their classrooms, a school district spokeswoman said Wednesday.

Children from other classes at the school displayed photos of more appropriate black role models, such as Nelson Mandela, Harriet Tubman and President Barack Obama, Los Angeles Unified School District spokeswoman Gayle Pollard-Terry said.

The incident occurred Friday at Wadsworth Avenue Elementary School in South Los Angeles, where the student body is more than 90 percent Latino.(Source)

And the f*ckery continues! Matter of fact, I'm going to go ahead and nominate myself for Special F*ckery Correspondent to this blog because I can't win for losing! Rippa, if that's alright with you of course! So this is what Black History Month is reduced to? Orenthal James Simpson, Dennis Rodman, and RuPaul? A Negro who is in prison, a Negro who is in drug rehab on a VH1 reality show, and a male Negro cross-dresser?? Well dammit if I said you could slap me right across the face. You white folks out in California sure have been having a lot of fun at the expense of black people and Black History Month lately. Yep, y'all shole'is funny. Lemme guess, next year they're gonna give the kids a pictures of the D.C. Sniper, Gary Coleman, and Flava Flav, right?

Now of course, some parents weren't offended. Some think that O.J. Simpson and Dennis Rodman are still good "black heroes" because at one point they had their shit together. Let's just give them a pass, right? Wrong. Black kids--nay, the world, is constantly bombarded with negative images of black folks on a regular basis. Some would argue that we are the truest fine purveyors of our own black bullshit. But there are quite a few of us who would rather drink cyanide before letting our kids see O.J. Simpson as a role model. Yet, we continue to let a small, miseducated contingent speak for us again and again *ahem, Al Sharpton, ahem*

Oh those Negroes and their dialect are hilarious!

I don't know what type of politician Illinois State Senator Rickey Hendon may be. But I know he is one of six democrats vying for the position of Lieutenant Governor, and he happens to be black. What I do also know thanks to the folks at the Huffington Post, is that they find this radio ad currently running in Chicago to be "hilarious", and tagged it as "ridiculous":


Now I don't know about you and where you live. But if it is anything like living in the city of Memphis, I'm sure you've heard your share of ignorant commercials on your local radio and television station featuring non-acting Negroes. That said,  I don't see the above commercial as "hilarious" as the Huffington Post puts it. Instead, I'll just say that they haven't been around many black people, or have had conversations with them.

Yes, what they heard was the equivalent of an episode of Good Times juxtaposed with the absurdity of David Alan Grier's Chocolate News. But of course some of our folk who may have heard this felt the unfortunate need to hang their heads in shame. Which is sad because it says a lot about how they've internalized many of the so-called "negative" perceptions of black people as representative of themselves, and a source of embarrassment.

The moral of the story? Be yourself, and never feel the need to apologize, or feel some kind of way for something someone else does because you share the same skin color. Chances are, unlike you, they were being themselves any damn way; and people will be who they are as individuals.

Stop putting salt on your watermelon, folks:

Vanity Fair doesn't like black people

My 16yr old daughter has dreams of becoming a big star through acting one day. Like almost all teenagers she has the fantasy of living in Hollywood and living the glamorous life. But for her, it’s more than a fantasy; she has already started along a path to make this a reality. She has taken acting classes and is currently looking into enrolling at one of this countries prestigious school of the arts upon High School graduation. Oh to be sixteen again and have big dreams I tell ya. I love my daughter and it pains me that I have to tell her to give up any hope of success outside of being in a Tyler Perry movie; what father wants to do such a thing. But according to the good folks over at Vanity Fair there’s no future in Hollywood for black women or women of color – at least for the next decade, as evidenced by the obvious absence of any black women on the cover of their March “Young Hollywood” issue. Nine women on one cover and they couldn't at least photoshop a black person/woman into the shot?

The real irony of this is that they pulled this crap right at the beginning of Black History Month. The nerve of these people! They put a “brother” on the cover who doesn’t even consider himself black one month before Black History Month posing like an iron pumping convict in prison. And the next month they throw up a cover with nothing but white chicks as representative of the future decade of Hollywood? See what you did Soul Plane? Lemme guess, there’re no young black actresses to throw into the mix? Oh my bad, Gabourey Sidibie who played the lead in Precious is just a tad bit on the too dark and over-weight side, right? Yep, and that’s not good for Hollywood unless you win an Oscar because then you can be airbrushed like another plus size entertainer recently. That is, unless your mom and dad are Tina and Mathew Knowles, and you wear padded underwear when you perform on stage to make your booty look bigger than it actually is.

HP Webcams are NOT racist, & here's why...

So what's this story I hear about an HP webcam that doesn't recognize big noses, big lips, and gold fronts? I've read a few headlines in the blogosphere, and being the racism ambulance chaser I had to check it out:

New Rule: No more Black Santa Claus!

Am I the only one with a problem when I see black men dressed as Santa Claus? I mean no joke, that shit bugs me. It's bad enough that we lie to our kids and have them believing that Santa is real. But damn, do we have to insult the intelligence of our children by presenting the fraud that is Black Santa? I mean c'mon! How many black men or black families are there with the last name Claus.

I'm sorry, but I seriously doubt whether the Claus' were plantation owners. And besides if Santa was Black, I'm sure he would have already been shot or in jail for breaking into the homes of white people to "allegedly"  drop off gifts. I'm all about diversity and all, but I have yet to see an Asian, East Indian, Arabian or Mexican Santa. Must "we" continue with this charade for the sake of assimilation.

The Dalai Lama, The Memphis Mayor, The Fist Bump, & The Wu-Tang Clan

The older I get I find myself becoming less and less a fan of Negro greetings. You know, like the high five, a pound, dap, or as some of our melanin deficient kinfolk have now termed the “terrorist fist bump”? Back when I was coming up, there was a new Negro handshake at least twice a week and it was cool to learn them with your boys. But then after a while it got complicated and nothing was more embarrassing than not being in sync with the current handshake and making yourself look like a complete fool in front of your peers. Being the nerd I was, this was always a problem at parties and such.

“Yeah son, tha’ hell you doin’, that shit is like two weeks old, son!”

Did white people ever have that problem? I doubt they ever did; and I’m pretty sure the standard handshake was always good enough. That said, why is that when they encounter “the brothers” as they call us they feel the need to go out of character and hit us with that “gimme five,” thing? I’m sayin’, we don’t even greet each other like that anymore; and I don’t think we have since The White Shadow was canceled. Shit, this ain't the 70's, and we don't play that “J.J. Evans” type shit. We still giving head nods, but we ain't down with that shuckin' and jivin' bullshit; at least me and the people I know are not down with it. No suh, us folk ain't be down wit dat!

Nothing chaps my ass more than when I'm witness or a direct recipient to such shallowness or disrespect. And please believe, I’ve seen it a time or two in my short time on this planet. What, is it too much to shake my hand when you meet me or we’re introduced? In a professional setting no less? One time the Vice President at my then place of employment greeted my then 6yr old like that on one of those “take your kid to work” days. I was never more proud of my daughter when she told him that we shake hands in our family. I guess he was a bit embarrassed as he gave me that nervous but awkward look. Shit, after that encounter he should have given me a raise; I’m just sayin, yo, protect ya neck.

I guess this is why I’m a bit disappointed in Myron Lowery our current Mayor Pro-Tem (who’s Black by the way) when he greeted his holiness the Dalai Lama here in Memphis yesterday. You see, Mr. Lama (hope he doesn’t mind me calling him that) was in town to try out some of that good ole Memphis BBQ he’s heard so much about and smoke weed with Elvis receive the International Freedom Award from the National Civil Rights Museum. Upon his arrival in the city, he was greeted by our mayoral fill-in Myron Lowery with some “Dap” (or a fist bump), and a “Hello Dali!” Supposedly he was joking about the “Hello Dali,” line, and supposedly it took Mr. Lama (see how respectful I am? I called him mister.) some time before he got the joke. But you know what they say: after the laughter comes tears.

I don’t know if Myron Lowery thought it was an audition for the movie Rush Hour 15, and he was the new Chris Tucker, but that shit wasn’t funny. He’s lucky Mr. Lama didn’t take offense and commence to put one of those Shaolin beatdowns on his ass; he did say he thought it was a violent symbol; you never know, he might be down with the Wu-Tang Clan and ain't nuthin to f*ck with. Of course you may not see this as a big deal. But if it isn’t, try the very same gesture the next time you’re on a job interview. Yes, the minute you walk in for your interview, do yourself a favor and greet your interviewer with a fist bump and a “wassup dawg!” Yeah, do that if you’re Black and see how far that gets you. Yep, this is why I get pissed when I see people of color on the receiving end of hipsters who obviously don’t view them as equals or deserving of respect.

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Recommended reading: Another Black Stereotype

So you people proved me wrong on the photogenically challenged AKA thing....

Recently on this blog we discussed the stereotypical perception which surrounds the Black Greek sorority Alpha Kappa Alpha (AKA). I said that it has long been the/my perception that they all possessed a "certain" look, and were for the most part not photogenically challenged. You folks who responded all said that I was wrong.

OK, I'll admit, yeah, I was wrong. Hell, I even had one reader email me a pic of a "not so cute, but very hard on the eyes" sister who is a member of the very sorority. Aww hell don't gimme that "you so mean RiPPa," look either. This Jurassic looking AKA has a pretty nasty attitude according to the young lady who sent me the email. And you know how I feel about ugly people with attitudes [remember my Sandra Rose post?].

So, always one to try and disprove certain stereotypes of Black people. I decided to take another stab at this with the Black Greeks in mind. Yeah, and I bet you guys won't win on this one.

I swear, this one is gonna be fun, but...

are any gay members of the Omega Psi Phi fraternity?

Personally I would have to say no. But hey, I'm not always right and you people have proven that just recently. So, it is my challenge to you, my beloved readers... find me a pic of a gay Q-Dog? Or, if you're aware of any gay members of that fraternity, do me the favor of letting me know.

No seriously, I'd hate to think that I've wrongfully stereotyped these guys to all be the obnoxious hyper-masculine types. Not that gay guys cannot be obnoxious, or hyper-masculine or anything even remotely close stereotypically. I just wanna know if as a fraternity they would be as welcoming as the AKAs are or would be with the "not so cute" sisters out here. Ok, I'll stop for now, and I dare you to find me a gay Q-Dog. I bet you won't win this one.