BREAKING NEWS: R. Kelly is functionally illiterate - R&B star reveals that he's unable to read, but still believes he can fly

The city of Chicago has been in the news cycle a lot lately. Not to be outdone, R&B singer/song writer/producer/ Grammy Award winner R. Kelly while speaking at the Midwest Music Festival in Chicago recently came out of a trapped closet and shared with the world that he is illiterate.

Yes, not only does R. Kelly believe he can fly; he’s also unable to read:

"When I was trying to make it out here, I already knew, and I was stubborn about it," he said. "I don't even read really and I'm not afraid to say that. My cousins and brothers used to tease me 'you can't even read right. How you think you're going to come up?' The only reason I graduated from grammar school is because I had a great jump shot. I went to high school and [my teacher] told me 'you will one of the greatest writers of all time.' I believed. You [have to] believe it. You can't believe [anything] if you're hating. You can't achieve [anything] if you're hating." [Source]

Wow, so that explains why he never checked the ID of the then 14yr old with whom he had sex on tape. Oops, my bad, that wasn’t him; I forgot. Dammit R. Kelly! It's bad enough that you're forty something years old wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mask and cornrows, and now you tell us you can't read?!! Now I don’t know if what was said above was the centerpiece of the message to the kids. But I’m kinda concerned that he chose to tell them to stop “hating” or else they won’t get anywhere in life. I’m surprised he never gave them the “stay in school,” or “learn to read,” message? Nope, none of that; just believe you can fly and you will only if you don’t hate on anybody. Oh yeah, and it also helps if you have a good jump shot; can't forget that one. It's a wonder he didn't tell them to learn how to rap.

Somebody keep this fool away from kids.

Literacy in America is an often overlooked issue, and it is a major problem. Somehow, as damaged as R. Kelly's image has become. As much as I hate to say it, nobody sees his deficiency as a tragedy; he peed on a 14yr old for crying out loud! From this day forth, nobody will ever remember that he's unable to read. Instead, all we'll remember is that he should be in prison for statutory rape. Which is really sad when you think about it, because there are a lot of kids in Chicago and across the country unable to read, and who never will be; children who will never be as financially successful as the Pied Piper of R&B.

QUESTION: Is illiteracy and incurable disease or educational malpractice?

Listen Here R. Kelly: You Gotta Stop It With This Pedophile Thing - Police Kicks In R. Kelly's Door Looking For 17yr Old (SMH)

Remember when R. Kelly beat that child molestation charge last year? Remember when he did his interview on BET with my man Toure? If anybody remembers that and thought he was innocent surely they remember this from the interview:

Toure: Let me ask you something real that millions of Americans are thinking about and wondering about you. Do you like teenage girls?

Kelly: When you say teenage, how old are we talking?

Toure: Girls who are teenagers.

Kelly: 19?

Toure: 19 and younger.

Kelly: I have some 19-year-old friends, but I don't like anybody illegal if that's what we're talking about, underage.

Yeah, I remember the interview and this segment especially because his answer was shocking. Had I not seen the tape and all I had to rely upon to decide whether this grown ass man did what he did? I'd have to say he was guilty as charged. Having said that, it would appear that pissy boy Robert either has a problem, or just doesn't give a damn about the law:

July 01, 2009. MediaTakeOut.com has an EXPLOSIVE new report for you. R Kelly is being investigated by the Illinois police for committing statutory rape.

Here’s what’s going down. MediaTakeOut.com EXCLUSIVELY spoke with a CONFIRMED person close to R Kelly and here’s what they told us:

A day before [R Kelly] left for his South Africa tour) about 8 police squad cars pulled up at his front gate. One of the officers, in a loud, commanding voice, yelled: "This is the police. Open up this gate at once. We have a search warrant".

After seeing the officers via his security monitors, Robert instructed his security guys to open the gate. The officers searched the entire house. They were looking for an underage girl who had spent several days at his home with him. Ironically, the girl had just left the mansion about 20 minutes before the police arrived with the search warrant.

The police eventually caught up with the girl, who had just turned 17 years-old--just above the legal limit in the state of Illinois. However, the Olympia Fields Police are still tenaciously pursuing the case. They are still gathering evidence, which includes signed affidavits from several witnesses from within R. Kelly's circle, who can attest to the girl spending consecutive nights at his home prior to the date of her birthday.

Now while we can't CONFIRM everything they're saying, we checked out what our snitch told us – and the Olympia Fields Police department CONFIRMED to that R Kelly is under investigation. [source]

Now I just heard that he plans to do a tribute to Michael Jackson from South Africa while on tour. Umm, with all the alleged accusations and rumors surrounding Michael Jackson and child molestation even in death? I don't think this would be a good idea if Robert "Weak Bladder" Kelly follows through with this.

I don't know what it's gonna take to finally put this guy away after all these years and all these songs where he was warning us of his fetish. But I do know that his ass needs to be thrown in prison where the anal rape option is on the table as weekly punishment.

That, plus all you grown ass women who love this Negro and his music need to seek counseling. Chances are you have issues your damn self and possibly are into that whole gettin peed on thing.

I don't know, but maybe Robert got tired about all the attention Michael Jackson is getting right now that he decided to drip drip drip on another minor.