I've had a penis now for, oh, a little over 40yrs now. And I've come to realize that having one of those things grants you certain privileges that for the most part aren't recognized by fellow penis possessors.
For example, having a penis leaves one oblivious to many of the things women - or, people with vaginas - are subjected to at the hands of men. For all intents and purposes of this post, let's discuss this, shall we?
Recently, the newest contributor of our blog team, Tracy Renee Jones, dropped an awesome piece that highlighted the abuse women deal with daily in the form of unwanted sexual advances from men.
It's an awesome piece, and if you missed it, you really should check it out [read]. Ironically, her post was written on the week that there was much discussion on the female sports reporter being sexually harassed in the New York Jets locker room.
Now if you haven't heard, about a week or so ago, Mexican sports reporter Inez Sainz was at the center of much discussion after it was brought to the attention of the NFL and the New York Jets front office, that several players and staff acted inappropriately towards her while she attempted to do her job of interviewing rising star Mexican quarterback, Mark Sanchez [read here].
Well, not to really belabor a point or anything, but when it was all said and done, and the story broke with pics of what she was wearing, many in the court of public opinion were quick to suggest that whatever treatment she received, was a product of her unprofessional-ism. To make a long story short, many people were of the opinion that she was "asking for it," by being dressed as a whore in a men's locker room. Look, I like a fat ass like the next guy, but being in the presence of one doesn't give me license to act like a Neanderthal.
Albert Einstein once said, “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” With that said I’d like to know what would possess a married man with a wife and eight kids to sneak out and get some side booty. Oh and let’s not forget that this married man at the time had a very successful television show centered on the fact that he and his wife are raising eight kids. You know, eight kids who without a television contract they would be in a commercial with Sally Struthers begging for money with flies on their faces while daddy is out on the corner slinging crack?
Seriously Jon, I’d like to hear your excuse for that one. Now grant it, having eight kids at home would mean you’re gonna jerk off 94.6% of your time for the rest of your life when you and the wife aren’t sneaking into the closet to get some. But damn man, you’re on TV, on a reality show – nothing you do is ever going to be private, or on the down low as you think. Shit, TMZ knew Michael Jackson was dead a week before you, I, and the rest of the world. Did you really think your wife would never find out about you creeping with that young chick? C’mon son! At least have the brains to mess around with a Black woman if it was all about the booty. Oh don't look at me crazy, you know a “sister” would have made sure none of this would ever come out.
Equally as foolish was the woman with whom he had “the affair” if you ask me. I’m sorry, but maybe it’s just that I’m used to Black women making a conscious effort not to get involved with Black men with kids, and the baby momma drama that comes with it. But err, if I were a woman, why would I want to get with a guy with eight children unless we lived in some polygamist compound, and I was obviously brain washed? I mean I could understand wanting to be with someone famous, or at least some form of celebrity assuming they may have some money; actually, I think that’s how The Flava of Love got started, no? No but seriously, how much money could this guy have with a wife and eight kids at home?
Well let’s see, shall we…
Oh so now he decides that he “cares” about the kids and doesn’t want them on television anymore. Yep, now that his “role” on the show will be limited, he decides to act an ass. Not only act like an ass, but act selfishly as well by withdrawing all of that money from their bank account! I’m sorry Jon, but you f*cked up royally with that one. Yes Jon, $1000.00 dollars won't buy enough Ramen Noodles to feed those kids. C'mon son! Just in that one move you went from idiot status to super douche bag; yep, and old wrinkled up red one like my grandmother used to have. Forget about even getting laid after pulling a stunt like that. What about the kids Jon? The only thing keeping them afloat is in fact the show. So what they dropped your name from the show; if you were against them being on TV you would not and should not have agreed to the show in the first place!
What’s surprising to me is that when the “Octomom” was in the news “certain people” gave her hell. People were all over her case and had her pegged as a “Welfare Queen” for being unmarried with fourteen children. But yet no such outrage at the actions of Jon Gosselin; imagine that. The way people are treating this, you’d think Kate Gosselin was a Black woman...
White folks, you people need to get it together and show this guy how he’s messing it up for you people. If you don’t, I’m afraid that this will become the new trend in America with white men. I mean damn, we Black men already have the running out on the wife and kids thing covered; can’t we just leave it that way? You folks are always quick to talk about and down to us for what we do. Can’t you all at least do the same for one of your own? Who knew white men were capable of the same type of behavior; I dunno, bad parenting, maybe?
The cherished concept of family which as you know is exclusive to white folks, is in jeopardy. So white people, since you’ve never cared about anything other than white women as evidenced by the love you all collectively share for Orenthal J. Simpson. I urge you to stand up and do your part to protect American family values as only you people can. I know you people hate Barack Obama and all, but he takes care of his kids. I’m sorry, but Jon Gosselin makes you people look bad, and next thing you know, single white mothers at the welfare office will be the rage, and we can’t have that now, can we?
Is Mario a Midget? When he eats the mushrooms, does he become regular size or turns into a giant? If I were a midget, should I be offended by the Mario concept? Do these folks at Nintendo think that my “little people” problem, that I was most probably born with, is something that can be joked about? I mean how many mushrooms do they expect us midgets to eat before we grow to a regular size? And what the heck is regular size? I’m guessing its average… are midget people taken into account when making this global average? And most importantly, who the hell is sitting somewhere measuring people to make this average?
I think our doctors are leaking information from our files to make a little extra money on the side. That would explain the luxury cars and cottages. What will they leak out next? I don't know why or how but I've had this "midget curiosity disorder" for quite some time. Some people think its politically incorrect to refer to them as midgets. But I believe in calling them as I see them. I mean hell I don't get offended when people who don't know me refer to me as "Big Daddy". I mean hey I am a big dude!! Maybe I'm wrong? Oh well.
Just for the record, just in case you were wondering, I have a small penis. Yup I sure do! See my whole adult life I've had a complex about my penis size. Was it women, or maybe it was society? Either way, us men walk around everyday wondering if we're adequately equipped. Other than the dudes we've seen in porn, we really have no one else to compare ourselves to. I mean we can't trust you chicks to tell us the truth. I mean no woman will ever say that you have a little dick to your face. Nope, no lady will ever do that! I mean no grown woman will ruin the mood when she sees a guys dick for the first time and say, "damn dude, my last boyfriend was bigger than you!" I mean why would she, she's just as horny as you are. So you see, we never have somebody or some size to compare ourselves with. And that's why I always fuck in the dark for the first few times.
Think about it, why do you think the full size SUV (think Escalade) became popular? Where do you think the whole machismo thing comes from? It's just a front! The macho dude is actually communicating his inner penile insecurities. I mean, he's not ever gonna call his homeboy and ask him to come over so they can compare dick sizes. Instead, he has this macho thing going. Its his way of sending the signal to chicks (and secretly his homeboys) that he has a big dick. Now, he might actually have a big dick, but like I said, he has nothing to compare it to. I think the last grown man dick I ever saw was my dad's when I was a kid, and that really fucked me up! Could you imagine a 6yr old penis compared to a grown man's penis? It left me feeling like "damn my shit is small!" And still to this day, I think my dick is the same size. From reading magazines I have an idea as to what average is. But who really knows? They never had every grown man line up and take measurements. Come to think about it, that's probably what they need to do. Maybe that would put an end to all this macho shit. This way we'd all know how we REALLY measure up. I wonder if females walk around wondering about the size of the next chicks vagina?
“He who warned uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.” -- Sarah Palin on Paul Revere
