Would You Be Proud if You Were Related to These People?

by  Folk



New Left Media’s Chase Whiteside interviews attendees at Glenn Beck’s non-political “Restoring Honor” rally in DC. Post up in the comments your thoughts and feelings. Suddenly I feel really really sad :(

Folk out. Holla.

The Blindside II: White Folks Stealing Haitian Babies

It's often said that the road to hell is paved with bibles and people with good intentions. But don't tell that to the ten Christian missionaries from the United States currently sitting in jail in Haiti charged with conspiracy and kidnapping. And  from what I've been told, Haitian jail cells do not come with tropical resort-like accommodations. But hey, when you try and steal kids from a country cross the border without proper documentation other than the idea that God's on your side, it's to be expected:

Pat Robertson: Earthquake was a result of a Haitain "Pact with the devil"

You know, sometimes there are things that just makes my jaw drop, but then I'm able to pick it up off the floor quickly.  The STAGGERING ignorance, and RACISM, displayed by the human piece of walking shit that is Pat Robertson has rendered my jaw pretty much locked to the floor.  I cannot even begin to understand his latest vitriolic rant against people of color.

Yes, folks.  He blames the Haitians' fight for independence against SLAVERY and OPPRESSION at the hands of French masters--of course after likening it to a "pact with the devil"--as the reason for the 7.0 earthquake that shook an already poverty stricken Haiti, to its knees.

I wish I was making this shit up:

Do Christians have Oral or Anal Sex?

So in Washington DC yesterday they voted and approved gay marriages; way to go DC not giving in to the pressure from the black church! But ironically on the very same day world renowned Televangelist minister Oral Roberts dies at the age of 91. Not trying to be a conspiracy theorist or anything, but is God trying to tell us something here? I mean is this his way of promoting "Oral" sex? I'm sure the kids at Oral Roberts University would like to know as well be cause the fate of them becoming a noted party school in America rests on this information. Yeah I know that wasn't funny but I had to go there... sue me.

But since I'm already there I have to ask this next question. Since God doesn't like homosexuality of any kind per the religious fundies among us, does he get pissed off when hetero-minded people engage in oral or anal sex? By chance was that rule on that piece of rock Moses accidentally dropped and broke? I mean I'd like to know because the last thing I'd like to happen is to be standing at the pearly gates and getting turned away by the bouncer because, well, you get my drift. I mean the Christian Porn genre hasn't actually taken off just yet as I think it should so I'm curious.

And one last thing: am I wrong every time I hear the term "pearly gates" and the image of my wife's vagina comes to mind? I mean that's my version of heaven and I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the idea of other people lining up to get through those gates. So can one of you bible thumpers clue me in on some of this stuff in my head today? Inquiring and horny minds would love to know, and hopefully one of you can help me out here because that whole Missionary Position thing is hella old and I think having to pray before sex would be a major downer.

QUESTION: Would you be comfortable with your partner wanting to pray before sex?

WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?

We all heard about this guy. I don't care if you live under a rock, there's no way in hell that you haven't heard about Jesus Christ. There are enough white people (missionaries) in the world traveling to remote areas of the world to talk about him. I mean he IS the most famous dead guy of all time, and nobody could take that #1 ranking. But could you imagine if he was alive today? Could you imagine how different things would be? Not quite sure where I'm going with this huh?

Ok well lemme tell you....

What if Jesus were alive today and he was a blogger? Its safe to assume that 99% of you who believe in God would pass him off as just another nut job. Most of you would laugh at his ass and call him crazy! I'm pretty sure thats the same response he got back in the day. I mean if I all of a sudden I started proclaiming to be the son of God I'm pretty sure a lot of you would dismiss me. Some of you probably won't, but would rather continue reading my blogs just to laugh at my crazy ass. And then, some of you would believe me and would still be connected and cool with me. Either way, I'd become pretty popular around here and I'd attract fans and haters all alike.

Jesus would write blogs pointing out some of the foul people in the blogosphere. He'd write blogs about the dudes who do nothing but troll these pages looking for women they can score with. He's write about all the people posting half naked pics of themselves on their pages trying to get attention. He'd write blogs about people who write bad poetry in an attempt to be deep. He'd write blogs about how stupid it is to have internet beef and arguments with people online. He'd write about all the women who sit online in pain after failed relationships who all lash out about men. He'd write about sorry ass dudes who fail to step up to the plate as fathers and raise their kids. He'd write blogs about all the women who grew up without positive male role models who have a hard time searching for love, who end up having 4 kids with different dudes. He'd write blogs about pretty much all kind of fucked up shit he sees in the world online and offline. Jesus would be like the biggest critic ever. He would do no different than what he did back in the day. He'd criticize people and offer them a chance to see themselves in a different light.

He'd do that with the hopes that they would change their ways. Jesus would do that because he cared. If he didn't care he'd be self centered and only write blogs about himself and how well he's doing. He would never offer advice or words of encouragement to anyone. He'd pretty much be a narcicist; which is really no different than some of the people I've encountered on here. He'd post pics of himself every chance he could get to show the blog world just how beautiful he is. I mean keeping it real, Jesus would be on his own dick and he'd have no friends. He'd probably have to always remind people that he wrote a new blog, by leaving links to his page in their comments. He'd have to beg for comments and shit like that all the time. People would pretend that they like him but talk shit about him behind his back. But I'm pretty sure that like today, they talked shit about him behind his back in biblical times. I mean he'd be criticized by people for having half naked chicks on his friends list on somewhere like MySpace. People wouldn't understand him having gay friends on his list as well. People would talk shit about Jesus just like we talk shit about regular people today. Hell Jesus talked shit about people in his day, so who are we to be any different.

The difference is, Jesus wasn't just a critic just for being a critic sake. Like I noted before, he talked about people in an attempt to show people themselves with the hopes of them changing their ways. But instead, with our simple "human" eyes and minds we fail to see the bigger picture. Look, I fuck with people on here and talk shit just like Jesus did. I do it not because I enjoy fuckin with people. I do it because if I could make somebody think about doing things differently, then I did my job. Matter of fact, maybe Christians are right? Maybe we should all be more like Jesus? Not be more like him so we can get to heaven. But be more like him so that we can change lives. I'm a firm believer that your thoughts control your actions. So I'm gonna take a page from the Jesus handbook and continue to say and do shit around here, and in your comments for you to think about. Maybe by doing so, you'll be forced to think differently and in the end act differently. They talked shit about Jesus back in the day and they killed him. Maybe if he was alive today and blogging, things would be different? Maybe he would've never been crucified? Maybe he would've been ignored enough to not piss anybody off? Maybe he actually wrote this blog? Maybe he wouldn't run around calling himself a Christian, but instead allow his writting, and interaction with people in his or on other blogs to be less self centered? What would Jesus do?

YOU MAY NOW DRINK THE RED KOOL AID

CAN JOSEPH GET SOME PROPS?

Through this whole Christmas thing, with Jesus being born in a barn having to smell goat shit n' all, I don't think most people give props where props is due. Here we are in 2008 celebrating the birth of Jesus, and of course all the attention is on him. Ok so yeah, I know he's like "the son of God" and that's kinda a big deal. But just for once, I wished people would give Joseph some props.

I mean think about it...Joseph was a good dude! Either that, or he was pretty lonely and not too cool with the chicks. I mean really?! How many of you women today would date a carpenter? No, I'm not talking about a contractor, I'm talking about a carpenter. There's obviously a big difference between the two, and I doubt that too many women would kick it with "Joe the carpenter".

Hell, you never see a guy on a game show introduce himself as "Joe Blow from anytown U.S.A. and I'm a carpenter." I dunno, maybe it was cool to be a carpenter 2000 years ago? Now that I think about it, maybe Joseph was a baller? I don't know, but I know that given this mortgage crisis of today, with home construction down, Joseph wouldn't have been a safe bet.

But seriously, think about Joseph for a few. Aside from being a carpenter, Joseph kicked it with Mary, and he never had sex with her. See, people forget that Mary was a virgin, and Joseph married a pregnant virgin. Could you imagine being a woman going to your man and saying "I'm pregnant" when you never had sex with him? I mean seriously! Think about how fucked up that would be. I know it would be messed up in today's society, and it had to be fucked up back then as well.

Not much is said about Joseph, but I'm sure when Mary (his girlfriend) told him she was pregnant, under his breath (or in his mind) he called her a bitch. I mean really, what reason would he have to be happy? He never had sex with her! And I'm pretty sure that he wanted to hit it...I mean what dude you know wouldn't wanna have sex with a virgin?!!

Thats why Joseph deserves props! Joseph didn't dump Mary like some guys do. He never said "BITCH I WANT A BLOOD TEST!" He didn't get mad, and beat the shit out of her and call her a whore like some guys would have. Instead, he stepped up to the plate and decided to be the "baby daddy". Yup, even on a carpenter's salary, Joseph said "fuck it, I'm gonna marry this woman."

How many men do you know who would have done that today? Shit, Mary would've been on Maury in today's age. Seriously, she would have been on Maury crying and looking like pretty much all the dumb chicks we see on that show. And the bible never said anything about Joseph's homies. If he had homeboys, I'm sure they knew that he hadn't hit it yet. Trust me, your boys are the first to know when you're kickin it with a virgin. Chances are, Mary was a pretty hot chick and all the dudes wanted to holla, and they were jealous of Joseph.

Yeah, I'm sure he had some hatin ass niggas talk shit about him for wanting to still be with Mary after he found out she was pregnant. I mean, I doubt he ran out and told them a lie and said he did hit it. So yeah, to them he looked like a dummy. But despite his boys, Joseph stuck around. But I guess Jesus being the son of God didn't hurt either. I'm sure Joseph had his doubts about that, but he decided to chill and wait for the kid to perform his first miracle for confirmation. I mean who wouldn't! Shit, if I knew my step son was the son of God, I'd lay low and maybe hope he could hook me up with the winning powerball numbers too. But I damn sure wouldn't tell anybody...I'd hate to look like a sucker!

Shout out to Joseph aka A REAL NIGGA!

CHRISTIAN PORN?

Nothing cracks me up more than when I see news stories of people finding the Virgin Mary. Ever so often, some chowder head, finds images of The Virgin Mary on a potato chip, a corn flake, in a turd, or in a slice of bread. They often through their lunacy manage to draw enough attention to have some news crew come out to their house to run the story.

I'm not mad at them because if they didn't, well, lord knows how much more sin we'd have in this world. I know being a virgin and giving birth is miraculous and all, but I doubt any of you would believe the chick on Maury who says that she was a virgin mother. Thats one episode that I'd like to see. I gotta admit, it'd be kinda cool seeing 10 dudes all hear "you are not the father" after they admitted that they had sex with the chick who claims she was a pregnant virgin. Oh well, so much for that ever happening.

The latest virgin Mary sighting happens to be on the cover of Playboy. Yup, thats the cover above. It would seem that there is some controversy over this model being depicted as The Virgin Mary. This illustration was published on the Mexican version of Playboy magazine, and people are losing their minds. I could understand that happening because the country of Mexico is largely catholic. No wonder people are against Mexican immigrants coming to America.

Now when I first saw this, I never drew the Virgin Mary connection. I just thought it was just some hot chick, and never gave any thought as to what she was wearing. Truth be told, I just thought it was some middle eastern porn version of Playboy. I'm serious! Do you think people in the middle east or the holy land don't jerk off or more appropriately, masturbate?

I don't know about you, but I don't see this as a big deal. Hell the publishers of the magazine even said that it wasn't their intent to carry a virgin Mary depiction. But its to be expected, people gave Kanye West a hard time when he did the now infamous Jesus Christ crucifixion pic even after he said it was a work of art. This is what I call art, and as you know, art can be interpreted many different ways. Having said that, I think people need to chill the fuck out. Hell, even it it was an intentional depiction of Mary, you gotta be happy in knowing that those horny readers upon seeing it would give their lives to Christ, especially for God creating such a fine specimen.

I can only wonder if this was released in America if it would be a big deal. The combination of catholics and religious right wingers bitching would be a deadly assault. Shit, I just wanna know why they don't pitch a bitch whenever Mary is found on a potato chip. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think this is just another example of the protection of the sanctity of the White woman. If this were on the cover of Black Tail Magazine, I doubt anyone would care.



QUESTION: Could you watch Christian porn? Wouldn't it be cool to watch a porno flick where in the end there was a religious message and maybe the chick who just fucked like 6 dudes and got saved? Isn't it the message that's important?

EVEN JESUS WEPT

I've been seeing all over the blogosphere comments which imply that Barack Obama is not the messiah. People feel that they must convey this opinion whenever the discussion is Barack Obama. Could it be that its often said in fear of his failure? Do we feel the need to protect him because, well, he's the epitome of hope? Or at least instilled hope in the minds of many?

The truth is, he's not Black Jesus! He's not because if he were Jesus, a multitude of you followers would miss his message just like the millions of people who call themselves christians do every day. Obama is a man, a politician. A man who works for us the people. Don't get it twisted when people say that "we gotta do our part" and support him. I say support him, but lets not do it blindly. Lets challenge him to be the best employee we've had in a long time.

Even Jesus had to die because he was human...

but thank God he's back...

Lets just hope you people don't miss the message.

NOT ALL McCAIN SUPPORTERS ARE RACIST

Thats right, they're not all racist. So, to categorize "them" as all being racist ignorant fools is wrong. Matter fact, all generalizations are stupid when you really think of it. Ok, so obviously, the McCain campaign has been purposely negative in the last few weeks. And yes, much of what we've seen in the media paints his campaign negatively. But even in all of that, its important, in an attemot to promote fairness, that I present this clip to you readers.

WATCH THE CLIP...

Now, what you have just seen was put together by an journalist working with an independent news media outlet. Having said that, one can only understand why something like this is not reported in the mainstream media. In other words, its more profitable for the corporate backed media to push negative stories as they have. Now, again, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the McCain campaign hasn't been negative, or motivating their base with negatism. I am however saying that there are people who support McCain who are able to think for themselves, and are willing to speak out against idiots like the folks distributing those bumperstickers at the rally.

Its important to note, that the people who spoke out were both christian and muslim. And thought they support John McCain, they are able to see the reality of campaign bigotry. If only we could get more people in this country to think this way. Just remember this blog whenever you encounter the McCain supporters who you may come across who still think that Obama is a muslim with terrorist ties, as I have in recent days. The next time you encounter some idiot who says that, tell them that they're wrong. When they ask you how can you be so sure that he's not a muslim? Tell them that Jesus was a black man, and since he's the father of Christianity, there's no way Obama the magical negro can be muslim. Besides, there aren't any mulsim cats in the NBA that I know of, but yet we all cheer for them.