After my parents divorced way back in 19..whenever, my dad never paid child support. My mom never took him to court, nor did she ever push the issue. A part of me was pissed for a long time that she didn't because I felt like we went without when it didn't have to be that way. I believe my mother's pride was behind her not asking for anything from him. Without going into details, I'm sure you can get the picture. She put up with Lotta bullshit, he had different women, they got divorced. Now, my mom did struggle to hold it together, and it was only as an adult looking back that I'm able to see that. I used to think that she was selfish for not taking him to court for anything; I felt like she was only thinking about herself instead of my brothers and I. But you know what? We all turned out pretty good. I believe just by her doing that, it taught us the lesson of not relying on anybody for anything. My dad rarely volunteered to assist financially if he ever did at all. That also pissed me off for a long time through my teen years. I felt like he was a selfish muthafucka who really didn't care. I carried this image of him in my head for years. It wasn't until recently that I actually got over it.
Now that scenario I explained comes from me, the kid of two divorced parents. But the shit is a little bit different from the norm. I say that because 70% of childern are born out of wedlock. And often, the custodial parent is the female. I'm all about a man being a man and taking care of his kids. And when I say that, I'm not just speaking just from a financial stanpoint. I believe that being a father requires alot more than just signing a check. However, I have a problem with the court saying, "hey dude, if you don't pay your child support we'll throw your ass in jail!" Ultimately I don't think that the court cares about my kid at all. Truthfully, I think them enforcing child support orders are their way of protecting themselves or getting some payback (if you will) for the kids that benefit from the welfare system. Its as though its their own insurance policy. I mean when you break it down, who benefits? The system does! Not the mother, not the kids! But the system does. They do because it means that if all men paid their child support, their would be no need for welfare. When a man gets thrown in jail for non payment, who benefits? Damn sure aint the mother, damn sure aint the kid! So who benefits? The system does! The state (who issues welfare) gets paid per locked up muthafucka! So you see, that's why its a win win situation for them, and definitely not for the parties involved, be it the mother, father or kid(s).
And lets be honest, the majority of the people who go to jail for child support are poor. When I say poor I'm also referring to being poorly educated. With 70% of kids being born out of wedlock I'm pretty sure that the majority of those parents are not educated past high school. So its as though poor people are punished for having kids. Yeah poor people are not supposed to have kids because it just leads to more poor people in this country. That's how I see it and I think its bullshit. But what can we do, huh? Maybe if men had verbal disclaimers this wouldn't be a problem. I mean if more men said, "hey listen umm, I know we about to fuck and all but I want you to know that if you get pregnant I'm not gonna take care of the kid...I got more bitches to holla at." Upon hearing this hopefully the woman wouldn't have sex with the guy. And as a result, there wouldn't be unwanted pregancies, kids given up for adoption, abortions, women being mad at the father of their kid(s), women thinking that niggas aint shit and men going to jail because they failed the population control test!
I get disgusted when I hear women refer to the father of their kids as "sperm donors". I've even heard a few women refer to them this way in the company of their kids. The women who say that need to think before saying those words, because it sure says alot about her character more so than the man she CHOSE to have sex with. If he's a sperm donor, doesn't that make you a sprem bank? How about explaining to your kid that daddy's not around because mommy was a sperm bank. When I hear a woman say that its as though she's saying, "boy was I an idiot!" I think child support should be for couples who dissolve their marriages rather than unwed individuals.
What do you think ?