The New Poor Professional Class: Suited, Booted & Broke

by Eco.Soul.Intellectual

Master's degrees or more, business suits, living check-to-check and a job are required for this group. Please make sure you are ducking and dodging from the Department of Education and consolidation loan agencies. Your tuition loans that are so high, your debt for attending a university equates a monthly mortgage payment.

You front at Starbucks, nursing on a latte you've been drinking for about 5 hours, hoping that you will bump into someone. Praying that you will meet high-powered someone that will put you on. You ARE employed, but you barely make enough to make ends meet. Some of you take care of your parents because you are a first generation corporate person. Some pay for your grandparents medication, and have to decide which bill you can pay this month.

Or take first generation attorneys, doctors and corporate workers who were not given basic business guidance like setting up your own corporation. And even those who did not have a mentor that opened them to a network in which they could move up.

Suze Orman's "unrealistic" and demeaning money advice can kiss your ass. She said higher education was a luxury, but school was your passageway into circles you were not allowed . . . and frankly with the crunching economy, you've found out that you still are not in.

Jessi Slaughter: Bad Parenting and The Sexualization of an 11 Year Old Girl

If you are unfamiliar with 11 year old Jessi Slaughter (aka Kerligirl13), then you could either count yourself lucky or blissfully unaware. I admit that I saw the tail end of this unfold on the internet last Thursday, and I almost wish I hadn't. I guess it is one of those things that has you seriously questioning our future if this child went so far for so long.

Jessi Slaughter is an 11 year old girl who damn near had the internet going nuts, attracted the ire of the guys and gals at 4Chan's /b/ board (something that you really don't want to do at 11 years old that's for sure) and Tumblr and fed the internet a Double Down-size of schadenfreude.

As Gawker (they also have the back story there) put it, "the internet beat up an 11 year old girl."  It wasn't pretty.  It looked an e-Mike Tyson fight when Iron Mike was in his prime, only that would've been akin to Mike beating up your mom. They literally went in on her.

To summarize, Jessi Slaughter is an 11 year old girl who had foul mouthed YouTube videos (like the one above; her account has been closed) and very foul, extremely vile posts with borderline child pornographic photos on her Tumblr account (which has also been closed).

Celebrating the birth of a sick and dying country

 

By Folk

It's the fourth of July. A day of celebration! The day our government officially recognizes the birth of the United States of America! Isn't it a delightful day? For some... but it really isn't.

For decades our political leaders discovered how to control our country for the liberty for a select few. A country whose life blood is the middle class has been slowly radiated away by the cancer known as political and corporate financial greed.

A country where the children are used for political gain at all levels of government. Where the "count" of a child is more important than the education of the mind of the child. Where the parent(s) or guardians are easily jailed for the child's truancy and children have "rights" to television and video games. Where education once set the bar for the world and now the bar must be lowered in order to ensure statistical compatibility (yeah, America now consistently ranks in the 25th - 28th spots on the world scale in education).

Sip the juice, I got enough to go around

"You gotta snap some collars and let them motherfuckers know you here to take them out anytime you feel like it! You gotta get the ground beneath your feet, partner, get the wind behind your back and go out in a blaze if you got to! Otherwise you ain't shit! You might as well be dead your damn self!" - "Bishop" (Juice)

Well, what a difference a day and losing a Senate seat makes. My man Barry-O obviously read my recent post instructing him on how to get this thing back on and poppin'. He gave a press conference today and he channeled his inner Tupac à la my man 'Bishop' from the movie Juice:

A Christmas message from everybody's favorite uncle

Dear Wonderful Employee,

You're fired!!!

For some weaker-willed individuals with less faith in themselves this can be a devastating moment. But not for you, because you're a champion. You possess a strong sense of determination and commitment that not too many others are blessed with. That's the reason we hired you. You also possess the tendency to be quite an incompetent buffoon. That's the reason we fired you.

Anywhichaways, as the chipper for no apparent reason at all type of person you are, I'm sure you realize that the best things in life are free. So obviously you also realize that the mortgage on your home, your car note, your children's college education, and that luxury we humans commonly refer to as food are not amongst the best things. Don't forget, there are alternatives to earning and spending money.

I've heard that one of the most prosperous and rapidly growing industries in today's marketplace is crime. It doesn't require a great deal of start up money or vocational training. At this point, it would also be a good idea to minimize all of your dependents. Get rid of the dog before you end up sharing his bowl of Gravy Train with him. Keep the kids though. At least, they'll come in handy when you're applying for public assistance.

Since the holiday season has arrived, make sure you remind everybody that it's better to give than to receive. That's how I feel while writing this letter. I also want you to remember to never give up. Suicide doesn't solve anything. Allow me to share an anecdote with you. A few paragraphs ago, I ran out of ink. I contemplated delivering the news of your termination face to face. Then I thought about how much I really didn't feel like doing that. So I asked my lovely trophy wife to hand me one of the solid platinum pens, with all the tiny diamonds decorating the cap, that she keeps in her limited edition Dolce and Gabana handbag. She did and, as you can see, my perseverance has enabled me to continue writing this letter up to this point.


I want to reiterate that suicide is not the answer. You've probably decided to collect unemployment. Might as well make the company pay you that last bit of money they owe you since you aren't going to receive any severance pay, right? That line of thinking is not without merit. The worst thing that is certain to happen is that your wife will lose all respect for you. She will then engage in a torrid affair with an old acquaintance or several guys with bigger penis'. After the long, torturous nights spent arguing, she will finally decide to part ways. In the process of leaving she will take possession of the house, the car, the kids and ultimately your pride. That would be an ideal time to kill yourself.

So, in closing, remember that if you ever step foot on company property again you will be immediately arrested. Also don't forget that guns are cheap but peace of mind is priceless. Suicide is the answer...not! Godspeed and Good luck...you're gonna need it. Oh yeah, Health Care Reform is coming soon, so, um, Merry Christmas.

Head of Human Resources/ Director of Dream Destruction,

 Happily & well paid Corporate CEO,

Uncle Sam

P.S. Everybody said that your office secret Santa gift was the best this year.