She's Not Gonna Have Sex With You Dude

So it's no shock that women don't appreciate the exploitation of women in these mags. Contrary to popular belief, some of these publications DO hide a decent article or album review beneath all the bikinis and booty so I'll continue to flip through them for just that.

Some say that men who condone the exploitation of women are worse than the women who allow themselves to be exploited. I don't feel like arguing that today. I don't care either way because I know something that most men & women don't: The cover girls of Maxim, King, Smooth, FHM, and Stuff aren't having sex with men like us!

They lie in their interview and say dumb stuff like.

"I just want a man who can treat me right. I need a regular guy."

You know why they say that?

Because it's regular guys who buy these publications, not the rich men that are taking them on trips to Tahiti for no reason. The interview gives you, 'Jim J McRegular Guy' the illusion of chance. You read the interview and you start thinking that you have a chance at one of these gorgeous women.

Newsflash asshole...You don't.

You want to see something funny ladies, watch a group of men look at one of these magazines. You'll see us all crowded around the magazine like a laptop with a porno playing. And then one dude in the group hollers out...

"Man if I was dating her, you couldnt tell me nothing !! Man Imma go to L.A. and pull her. Go, put my mack down."

What are you talking about? You work 7 hours a week at Dairy Queen, Vida Guerra DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. You're not even on the Blizzard machine yet. You still make Chili dogs. Lower your expectations and give the girl at the Dollar Store your phone number. She's half way cute, her limp is kind of sexy, and taking her to Wal-Mart would be the equivalent of taking Vida Guerra to Tahiti.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE WHITE GIRLS GONE?

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. Yes, I did watch BET this past weekend. It started somehow changing channels on New Years eve. I was sitting here bored just channel surfing, and for some reason the images of Black people made me stop. Well, actually, it was an image of a scantily clad Black woman that did it (I think she was Black).

Well, not just that, but since I don't have a clue as to what's hot musically, I figured it couldn't hurt watching them countdown the best the year 2008 had to offer. To be honest, I didn't even know they made music videos anymore. Hell, I thought that was a forgotten art since all they ever do is focus on ring tone friendly nursery rhyme driven hooks and melodies.

But anyway, before getting to see Keyshia Cole's dysfunctional family, the music videos made me think: Where have all the White Girls gone? Seriously, where have all the White girls gone? Ok, so I'm sure they're still around. But how come we don't see them anymore. Could it be that they're tired of falling in scary movies when the monster gives chase?

Could this be the reason we see more of them doing stuff like this...

So who's fault is it? Is it hip hop? Black women? Have all the White girls all of a sudden, for the love of attention from Black men resorted to the shit you just saw in the video above? How come they're all over BET these days? Used to be they would only be on there after hours in those 1(900) number phone bone commercials. Is it Black men who are to blame? Before you think I'm trippin, lemme tell you that there are videos like this all over the internet. Seriously, Google that shit! I mean I remember when White girls would all be in a circle together on the dance floor doing that one move they all know how to do. You know the move, right? Its not really a move its a dance; its called the White girl. Yeah, its how they all danced. Or so I used to think. Nowadays I just don't know anymore. I mean, do they still all go to the bathroom in a group?

No seriously, all jokes aside, I am amazed at just how all of a sudden flat booties are out of style. Damn right they are. Pancake booty has been replaced by the now famous tramp stamp, the standard booty clap, AND MO' JUNK THAN FRED SANFORD. Oh well, I guess the Chinese chicks are next. Might as well, hell they've been taking over the NBA since Yao Ming. But in all seriousness, it kinda makes you wonder why they used to laugh at Sarah Bartman back in the day. As a Black woman she was put on display in circuses as a sideshow act because she had a big butt. Talk about degradation, huh? Having to be in display all over the world as a freak because of genetics, had to be a tough pill to swallow for her.

But now here today, I see nothing but White girls on BET and elsewhere with much ass shakin that shit. Implants maybe? I don't know. But its a damn shame dark skinned women ain't in style anymore. If they were, I probably wouldn't be bitching or feel guilty about watching BET like I am today as I beg for forgiveness. After all, all I saw were White girls...oops, I mean light skinned women on that network. Which is cool because at least its not sisters being degraded, or degrading themselves. Come to think about it, wasn't that the reason BET decided to pull the late night show UNCUT from the air years ago?