Tuesday, June 30, 2009

When Hurricane Chris is the smartest kid in Louisiana there's a problem, and it's a damn shame

Last Saturday night I had the pleasure of meeting Max Reddick of the blog Soulbrother v2 here in Memphis. Over a plate of good food and spiritual libation we had a rather healthy discussion. He being an educator at the college level the one thing that sticks out for all intents and purposes of this post was the state of education and Black youth. If you haven’t visited this blog before now I urge you to do so, and do so daily; if you don’t add it to your blogroll you’re missing out on some good reading.

I also had the opportunity to meet his teenage son who was fresh off of attending an academic summer program at Vanderbilt University. I gotta tell y'all: it was refreshing to speak to a Black man and his son who both put a premium on education in light of the negative things you hear about absentee fathers and delinquent kids. It just goes to show that there are some of us out here who are doing the damn thing but are never heralded. I was amazed to know that of the 900 or so kids that attended there were probably 20 Black kids in attendance; umm, we gotta do something about that parents.

Speaking of education…

Recently I read a story over at the blog Righteous Minds - another blog you should read daily - where in the state of Louisiana legislation was being considered to lower the education standards in an attempt to do something about the dropout rate. They’ve proposed “career diplomas” as an alternative to standardized testing. I don’t know what’s going on down in Louisiana, but their public school system is ranked damn near or at the very bottom of public school rankings in this country. According to a report, out of the 1,263 public schools in the state, only 301 of them scored at the basic level or above in 2008 [Click to read the PDF].

Can any of you tell me why this is so?

Could this be indicative of the problem in Louisiana?

[Insert blank f*ckin stare]

Now I know you guys know all about Hurricane Katrina and the effect it had on the gulf coast. You guys also know about the fallout in the aftermath that was Katrina and the state of Louisiana vs. the Federal Gov’t. I’m sure you all know all of this by now, but you probably haven’t heard of Hurricane Chris. I refuse to call him that name. Instead, when I look at him or hear his annoying music I say to myself, “there goes that damn mosquito again.” No joke, not only does he looks like one but his music is as annoying as a mosquito buzz in my ear. Seriously, I know there’s alotta swampland down in Louisiana, but do all these rap artists from that state have to actually look like insects? Think Lil Wayne, but I digress.

I looked at that video of him being honored in his state senate as the ultimate co-sign to the dumbing down of America. Obviously Louisiana isn’t or hasn’t been made dumb enough so they, or should I say his silly God-mother committed this horrible crime against humanity. When your state’s public schools rank as low as they do in the country the last thing you want to show the world as a glimmer of hope in the form of Hurricane Chris a mosquito who has managed to have a small command of the English language enough so to put out a rap record denigrating women. Hell, the record company had to change the title of the song after being threatened by some expensive lawyers retained by Halle Berry herself. I'm not mad at her; I wouldn't want my name attatched to such f*ckery either.

I can’t help but to think that those White folks in that building – you know the White state legislators who were in attendance? - on that day all had a sigh of relief that their kids would never turn out like this fine young man. Sure their kids will never have a rap record ranked number five on the charts. But I damn sure know that their Godmothers would never embarrass them by referring to men as mens like this woman did. I'm also pretty sure that they as parents would never have to worry about getting their kids into academic summer programs either as do "regular" parents.

It’s sad enough that the state has a serious problem with education and poverty, but if Hurricane Chris is the best you have to offer and honor, then I think they’re in trouble. Instead of worrying about hurricanes and levees being fixed, I think parents should flee the state for their children’s sake. Either that or hold their elected officials accountable. Because from what I hear, they did pass that Bill to lower the bar as far as standardized testing. Just great; now we'll have more kids graduating from high school with diplomas where they too can specialize in horrible music.


Monday, June 29, 2009

This is the Money You Could Be Saving by Not Watching BET - Death to the Big Ass Chain

"I know we facing a recession, but the music y'all making gon' make it a depression" - Jay Z (Death of Autotune)

OK look, I'm a loyalist kinda guy and writing this is hard for me. I grew up watching BET just like pretty much anybody in my age group and slightly older. To be honest, BET was a mainstay in the homes of Black America much like those Jesus and Martin Luther King Jr. pictures on your grandmother's wall. But oh how times have changed. Gone are the days when Donnie Simpson graced our eyes and gave us a greater appreciation for music by giving us an insight into the lives of artists both young and old. And what do we have today?

Yeah, in the pic above is that pain in the ass Negro who calls himself T-Pain. To me, it's images such as this one which is indicative of where we are culturally as far as BET is concerned. Yes, BET has become the network that is all about the big ass chain and nothing else. I hate to jump on the bandwagon and bash probably the only outlet for Black folks on television. But f*ck it, it's not actually Black owned anymore now is it? Yup, and to me that says a lot considering that it once was.

I was watching the BET Awards last night with much anticipation as was everybody else in America. Before last night I had no idea that the BET Awards were even coming on. Shit, it was probably 50-11 months since I even watched BET to be honest. But with the recent passing of Michael Jackson this award show was hyped to be the best ever as well as a tribute to one of the greats in our culture. So with great anticipation I tuned in to the show.

Lemme tell you: the show was a huge disappointment. I thought I was the only one who felt that way. I thought maybe I was being too hard on them but then I logged onto Twitter when the show was over. It was then that I discovered that I was not alone. Oh yeah, every Black person was on Twitter last night as well; hell they even scared the white folks. As a matter of fact as I watched the show I couldn't help but to think of that Rick James line in that now famous Chappelle Show skit: "The never shoulda gave you n*ggas money!"

Listen here BET, I realized that you guys had little time to switch gears and make the show about Michael Jackson hence the lame tribute attempt. But I have to wonder: what if Michael Jackson didn't die? Had he not, would as many people be tuned in last night to your show? Probably not. Which is why your show was a disappointment for people like me. We tuned in as fans of music and Michael Jackson just knowing you guys were gonna represent to the fullest.

I'm sorry, you guys tried but came up short. There were a few good moments and testimonials. Yup, and as much as I cannot stand Jamie Foxx, I must admit he did a good job as the host. My only complaint about Jamie was them throwing those tight ass high-water jeans. I swear if he farted we would have seen a wardrobe malfunction nothing like Janet Jackson at the Superbowl.

I don't know about you, but I can't help but to think that Don Cornelius is still standing at the podium talking about the O'Jays or lord knows what else. If he is, I ain't mad at the brother; we haven't heard from old Don in a long ass time. Who we should never hear from again is Aaron Hall and Guy. What, did they get the call to appear 30 minutes before the show? They sucked and they looked old. Which is too bad because the O'Jays have been performing for 50yrs and they haven't missed a beat.

But between T-Pain's big ass chain, Soulja Boy, and that Canadian kid Drake with his fake ass retarded down south accent sitting on a stool surrounded by little girls performing a song which is titled " I Wanna F*ck Every Girl In the World" you folks at BET failed horribly. Sure we're gonna remember Ne-yo's MJ renditions, and Janet Jackson's surprise appearance at the end. But once again, I think they did Michael Jackson's family a disservice by labeling this a tribute because it damn sure wasn't. To me, it was all about the big ass chain and coonery we have come to expect from BET in recent years.

Supposedly they're launching a new network for us older folks; lets see how that turns out. At the end of the day BET is not the source of all of the problems or social ills currently plaguing the Black community. As a matter of fact, they have done their share as far as community activism and raising awareness to correct some of these problems which is a good thing. I think we should all remember that in being critical of them as we have. But dammit I'd be lying if I said that the network has done it's fair share to reinforce the big ass chain stereotype, and bullshit music. Hell, I wish BET died and Michael Jackson did a tribute to them.

Maybe BET will Pay attention to Jay-Z...

Sunday, June 28, 2009

As Seen on TV Products Will Never be the Same Again - Billy Mays Found Dead at 50

I guess it's safe to say that the recession has caught up to the Angel of Death. That muthaf*cka has been putting in overtime like a mugg this week! First he killed John & Kate's marriage forcing John to move in with the midgets on TLC. Then he scooped up Ed McMahon, and went on to grab Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson in the same day. Then now I wake up to hear that Billy Mays the famous TV pitch-man for anything that costs $19.95 was found dead in his home at the age of 50. Damn, it sure has been a bad week for White folks. Of course Michael Jackson's death trumps the competition hands down, but I'd be remiss if I didn't touch on the death of Billy Mays. I mean after all, I did put the Shamwow Guy on blast a few months ago.

I don't know much about Billy Mays; who he was, where he came from etc. But I do know that he had a way of screaming to me in promoting any product he was peddling. Often it was his screaming that made me think of making a purchase once he got past the famous intro, "Hi, Billy Mays here!" I always thought he looked like a late 70's/early 80's porn star/WWF wrestler; I don't know, I think it was the beard or the "Ravishing Rick Rude" likeness; you almost felt like he would bust your ass if you didn't pay attention. Sometimes I must admit, his commercials were annoying, but you damn sure remember them as much as his famous thumbs up.

It was his voice in commercials that grabbed your attention. Personally, I think somebody should have given him a "Just Say No to Drugs" or a "Wrap it Up" HIV/AIDS commercial. Something in me tells me that more people would pay attention if they did. Maybe he can live on as a pixie or something. Just as you're about to do some dumbshit he'll yell in your ear and get you to straighten up your act or at least think about buying some Oxyclean. Hopefully his death is not some fake story like the death of Jeff Goldblum. Not that Billy was annoying to me as The Fly. I just don’t want him living on like Elvis or worse: him hounding me as a bill collector. Lets hope his death isn't shrouded with controversy the likes of Michael Jackson. If it is discovered that he overdosed on Oxyclean I don't think my life would be the same again.

Here's to you Billy Mays...

the only known human being to speak in ALLCAPS.

P.S. I wonder if he was louder than the women he had sexual relationships with?

Saturday, June 27, 2009

So now that Michael Jackson is Dead the Molested Child Decides to Come Clean and Say it Was a Lie?

The last thing I wanted to do today was write another Michael Jackson related blog. But as I sit hear listening to "Man in the Mirror" I feel moved to bring this one to you. Yes we've been inundated with MJ coverage in the media; coverage which is understandable considering that it’s Michael Jackson and not a panty-less Brittney Spears we're talking about here -- I mean lets be real, this is the friggin King of Pop!

I’ve been taking in the media coverage in small doses so as to prevent myself from going smooth tha f*ck off as the sharks in the water circle around the negative aspects of this man's life. I felt the need to pull myself back from it all even though I understand just how the media machine works. However, I just read this next piece and I'm wondering how come it's not breaking news?

After the sudden death of Michael Jackson Evan Chandler tells the truth.

In 1993, Chandler told a psychiatrist and police that he and Jackson had engaged in sexual acts that included oral sex, the boy gave detailed description of Jackson’s genitals. The case was settled out of court for a reported $22 million, but the strain led Jackson to begin taking painkillers. Eventually he became addicted.

Now maybe for the remorse of his death Chandler decides to tell us the truth. ” I never meant to lie and destroy Michael Jackson but my father made me to tell only lies. Now i can’t tell Michael how much i’m sorry and if he will forgive me ”.Evan Chandler was tape-recorded saying amongst other things, “If I go through with this, I win big-time. There’s no way I lose. I will get everything I want and they will be destroyed forever…

Under the influence of a controversial father (Jordan Chandler) told his son to tell that Jackson had touched his penis. Jordan Chandler then told a psychiatrist and later police that he and Jackson had engaged in acts of kissing, masturbation and oral sex, as well as giving a detailed description of what he alleged were the singer’s genitals. ” Now for the first time i can’t bare to lie anymore. Michael Jackson didn’t do anything to me, all was my father lies to escape from being poor.” [source]
Now when I first read that I was about to lose my damn mind; yes, this has been an emotional three days for me and, oh, maybe another several million people around the world? But then my ever so rational mind-state took over -- could this be another bullshit press release the likes of all the ominous stories involving the lifestyle of Michael Jackson? You know, stories like the one about him and Rick James getting coke’d up and drunk while having wild sex with kidnapped young women in basement pits? Ok yeah, so that's not exactly a story in the streets right now, but don't be surprised if it surfaces.

If what Evan Chandler said above is true, or if this were an actual press release I sure would love to see it covered on CNN. As much as I've been critical of the media circus and the death of MJ, just once I wish they – the media -- would look at the man in the mirror like Evan Chandler allegedly did and tell us the truth or at least stop it with the salacious and speculative reporting. But then again, these are the very same people who had us believing that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and that George Bush was telling us the truth.

QUESTION: If this story is true (which I doubt it is considering the legal backlash), how does it make you feel knowing this after MJ has died?

Friday, June 26, 2009

Do You Remember The Time?

My mother called me this morning from NYC to talk about the passing of Michael Jackson and that's when it hit me. She said she wanted to make sure that I was ok. I asked her why she felt the need to do that. And she said because she knows me being the oldest of her kids she knows I would remember growing up in a household where all I heard was James Brown and Michael Jackson. When she said that, I cried. Yes, I cried like a baby. I cried because my mother took me back to a period in my life when there were no troubles and life was good.

You know how everybody always says that Mike was the boy who never grew up? Well, maybe that was the gift or beauty of Michael Jackson. Maybe that was the draw to his persona. Maybe we all wished we could do that -- not grow up that is. Now that I think of it, maybe that's why his death is so significant. Maybe, just maybe our childhood died in that UCLA hospital on June 25th. As my mother spoke to me, I could tell that she too was feeling like me. As she spoke I could picture the smile on her face as she recounted those days of old. The days when either her or my father would spin records and dance around the living room happily before their divorce, and the eventual decimation of our family.

Life has been hectic for us all, and I suppose even in his death, his magic or the magic that was Michael Jackson has once again managed to take us to a place that we all miss. He may be gone, but through his timeless music those days of old will live on forever. I never had a Jheri Curl, wore a sequined glove or a red or black leather jacket with zippers. But somehow I still managed as a child to dream, and dream big to be like Mike.You can say or bring up all the negative things you want about him, but trust me, none of that will kill the spirit of love he brought to the world. Yes, today we all now wish we were kids again.

I know I do.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

I'm not gonna run out and get a Jheri Curl or anything, but...

I find it ironic that I'm watching the very media who made him, who eventually killed his career, eulogize him and even still, try to assassinate his character even in the end. I mean damn, it's not like he died taking a shit like another famous entertainer or anything even though he did f*ck his daughter. Yes he's and icon, yes this is shocking, but even in the end, they just can't leave him alone. Wasn't that what he asked for? No wonder he lived outside of the country as long as he did. That's all I got for right now folks.

The U.S. media, what a symbiotic relationship they had.

Ladies First Guest Blogger Week - 38, SINGLE AND ACCEPTING IT by Cruuz

[Editor's Note: I'm not responsible for any damage to your computers by you spitting coffee or any other liquids onto your screen or keyboard. I refuse to be held accountable for any sudden bowel movements or urination induced by fits of uncontrollable laughter upon reading this post. The woman responsible for this post blogs over at the blog known as Witch's Brew; definitely a blog you should add to your blogroll. There's more than one contributor to that blog, but for a small fee I'll direct you to her. Um, and that might be her in the pic above.]

I have gray pubic hair, yes I do. I know I should be ashamed to admit that but I am not! I’ve earned them and I wear them with pride. I wish I could laminate them and keep it in my wallet to show people when they shove pictures of their mixed babies (mixed with baboon and human) in my face, that’ll learn they asses! But the gray pubes put me in a contemplative state. How is such a hot, fiery, spicy thang like myself still single?? Now I don’t believe in looking for anything, least of all a man but it would be a lie to say that I don’t often ponder this single thing. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so I won’t get into how hot I am but rest assured no one has ever turned to stone looking at me. So yeah I do wonder, “what gives?” I truly believe what’s for you will be yours, no looking required. I thought about it and realized there are many possible reasons why I’m still dolo. So many possibilities in fact that it became necessary to make this a bulleted list:

• I ideally want to be with a single man. Yeah I know, that’s so 1970’s, ya know a single gal linking up with a single guy. Sue me! Label me old fashioned but it’s what I want.

• I want someone who has already done the 3somes, 4somes, or churchsomes (ya’ll know damn well after church folks be linkin up for some group “halley-berry-lu-yer!!!!” time, if you know what I mean????). But seriously what I’m really saying here is please have all that passion for exotical sex outta your system. I love the sex (yes, the sex) just as much as the next undercover hoebag but come on sir, a sista got bad knees! Who got time for all that?

• I want someone who makes me laugh. I know you’re waiting for more to this one but that’s it. The end. Making me laugh will get you very close to obtaining the key to my heart. Notice I said close…. The other part involves a steak, a yummy side of your choosing and some top of the line Indian/Brazilian/Peruvian human hair. Oh yeah, men ain’t the only ones who get weak in the knees over some good ass grub. GET IN MAH BELLY!!!! And well the man who gets on board with me and fully understands my passion for hair that isn’t mine, well that man will have me at “hey, is that all your hair?”

• Now this next one usually gets a lot of thongs and granny pannies in a bunch cause people aren’t supposed to be honest in expressing that they want someone who doesn’t make them squint when they look at them. WELL TOUGH TITTIES!!! I want a looker! Someone who makes my loins dance with joy at the thought of them. You’re supposed to want a person for who they are on the inside right? Well I partially agree with this, if I can’t envision you and your software inside me then your outside does not compute with my vagi-cat mainframe, in essence, we got nothin! Now we all know every persons eyes sees beauty differently but ain’t it funny how the lines are never skewed when it comes to ugly?? Ugly kicks the door down like “BOO YAH!!!! IN YO FACE!!!” yeeeeeaaaaaaa, not in my face homeboy…… not in my face and certainly no where near my love vacuum (the vagi-cat).

• I want someone who will not be up in my muthaeffin face all the time! I mean ok ok ok, were in love, great! Whoooooo hoooooo! And all that, but mofo get an interest! Read a book! Go be a big brother to one of these pant sagging wearing aholes running the streets, become a manicurist, audition for “So You Think You Can Dance” go to IT Tech and learn a trade…… I don’t care what you do but stay outta my uretha from time to time if you want our love to flourish. If I feel like you’re an uninvited intruder in my anus I will start finding all kinds of reasons to throw you back in the water. I want to be loved but I don’t need to be anyone’s everything, that’s the ish that got Nicole Simpson and her boo stabbed 5, 847 times by OJ (yeah, he did it).

• Definitely don’t like “Donny the Downer” types. Man up son! Yes life throws us some frightful curves, I get it, but you are a man! You cannot unravel at the seams. I have a bit of an ego problem and so should he. It’s keeps you self-assured and grounded and that is so very appealing. Even Beyonce knows what I mean….. “Ego so big, I must admit, I got every reason to feel like I’m that bitch!” BOO YAH!!!

• At my age it would prove near impossible to find a man without children ( I don’t have any myself). But please for the love of Eartha Kitt have a mature relationship with the child’s mother. I’m not impressed by comments like “yeah his mom is a biyatch”, “yeah she’s nuts”, “yeah she be wantin me to pay for stuff for the kid,” “yeah she be wantin me to babysit my son too much” and let me just say this real quick (IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO BABYSIT A CHILD YOUR SPERM MADE!!!) it just isn’t! It’s called spending time with your offspring! Ok so basically what I’m saying is I don’t want no parts of a man who’s involved in daily mishaps with his ex over the kids. Now because a crapload of men go through this, this eliminates a great deal of them as options for myself. ***sigh***

• I want someone who isn’t common, extraordinary even. Don’t do common ish like cheat on me cause it’s a Tuesday or have sex with my grandmother on the 1st of the month so you can get a cut of her SS check. Be original, sit me down and talk to me when you start feeling a disconnect between us or when your peen starts telling you it wants to do the stanky leg in other women.

• I want someone who dreams, (not like the 40 year old guy I know who makes collages of magazine pics of women with stank-a-dank –dank asses and b-ball players who thinks he will be drafted into the NBA at the age of 40) someone who is always thinking, “ok I accomplished this, what next?” That’s so sexy to me. Not in the he got mad, crazy stupid “swagger” way (a word I’m starting to detest) but sexy in a “his wheels are always spinning” way. Never complacent.

So in trying to make some sense of all of this I think it’s fair to say I don’t want anything outlandish. So hey! The future is a mystery, I could meet someone today that can potentially be my guy or for all I know I might already know him. Either way, I keep on pressing on. Besides when I really think about it, I don’t know how eager I really am to be a girlfriend… After getting felt up the other day and the catastrophe that nearly ensued when I guess in his accelerated desire for me, dude started attempting to go rummaging through my weave; I’m thinking I might be good. This is imported hur! not that local BSS store mess, no sir! Me and my vagi-cat were too through with him!


Ladies First Guest Blogger Week - "Our" Men and "Our" Women by Siditty

[Editor's Note: This next piece comes from Siditty of the blog Siditty:Angry & Black Since 1976. Unlike the name of her blog, she doesn't fit the typical "Angry Black Woman" stereotype, and that's what I love about her. Today she gives us a very powerful post which speaks directly to us all. She usually has some strong debates on her blog pretty much about anything. I hope this next one moves you or at least provokes thought.]

One thing that is said about the black community is that we are not unified. I do sometimes find this to be the case, as we are at times quick to throw someone under the bus, stereotype ourselves, and make it seem as if all things wrong in the world point to black people. At other times, we tend to come together, and acknowledge we are all in it together as well. When Barack Obama was elected to office, it was a victory for "all of us" because for once a black man caught a break and a lot of people (read white) were voting for him based upon merit and put aside his race to elect him President. More people than we expected anyway. Most of us jumped up and down for OJ, even though we knew he was guilty because we for once were able to do something we hadn't done; avoided death row for killing someone white. We weren't happy that he got off, but that the jury saw him as innocent and made the prosecutors attempt to prove his guilt. Sometimes though, we lay claim each other when we shouldn't.

I am married to a white man. A very white man, you can't mistake him as high yellow or anything. He is Irish and German, he doesn't tan, he burns. He even glows in the dark at night he is so white. We have been together for ten years, and in that ten years we have had our encounters with folks who disagree with our relationship. There have been a few knucklehead black men who have told me to "come home" or said something to my husband about "taking what doesn't belong to him". Now prior to me being with my husband the majority of men I dated were white. I know I am a sell out concubine slave negress to the white man, but let's put that aside for a moment. Let's talk about how black men in general didn't normally approach me in my everyday life, and of the few that did, some didn't approach me in a way I was accustomed to. To put it bluntly, didn't no black man really want me.

Maybe it is because I look like Evilene from the Wiz. Maybe it is because like me, the few black guys I were around were so surrounded by whiteness, that all they dated or noticed were white girls. Maybe I didn't give the brothers who did approach me a fair shake. All in all though, it seems simply when I was single, I didn't belong to these black men. They didn't want me. I suddenly belonged to them when I dated a white man, and it didn't matter when I was available they weren't really noticing me, but now I am their property. Why? Why did I have an all or nothing allegiance to these black men I didn't know? Was I supposed to wait for them? Would they really want me? Would I want them? Would Halle Berry have really given these black men a chance if it wasn't for a white man?

Now this is no way excusing me from understanding and identifying with being black, but did me getting with a white man threaten the black community? Did I dwindle the number of eligible black women, making black folks extinct? Where the hell were these men when I was single? Why did I belong to anyone aside from my momma and daddy?

I am not letting the black women off the hook either, I know good and well we have all had that conversation about black men "leaving the race" for non black women, that so many have a "anything but black attitude". I know this is painful, but black men don't belong to black women either. They aren't our men, if they choose to date outside the race so be it, but it doesn't mean that they "left us". In reality, we might not have had a chance with them anyway. I know good and damn well Taye Diggs was not going to call me up and ask me out.

All in all, most black women and black men are marrying each other or at least being baby mommas and daddies to each other. That is another topic to discuss another time. My point is, black love still exists, it might seem harder to find, but it is still there. Of the married couples I know, I am one of the few inter racially married ones. Most of my black girlfriends who are married, married black men. Of the black men I know that are married, the majority of them are married to black women. My husband and I are the oddballs, people white, black, or other are not rushing out to get their swirl on when it comes to settling down, that is just the facts.

Please be rest assured many of us who marry out, are aware of "our history" and racism. We know we are part of the community. People in interracial relationships are able to identify with being black, and we don't all run away from "our roots" simply because we "married out". OK some of us do the Clarence Thomas, but some of us like being black, and we know that even though we are not marrying "our own" that we are still black and proud to be so.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Ladies First Guest Blogger Week - Excuse Me Miss, Can I Kick It? by Silkee

[Editor's Note: This post comes rom one of the most outspoken women I've ever met online. The last time she was featured on this blog she ripped it! I'm trying to convince her to be a regular contributor to my blog. Hopefully with your support she'll do just that. Until then you can reach her, and follow her on Twitter (@AlwaysSilky). I hope you enjoy this one, and look for her in the near future]

The hip-hop head in me was bouncing all over the map the other day. I was tooling all over Baltimore, getting my vacation off to a stellar start when I heard the song "I Got a Man" by Positive K. For those who may not remember or may not be familiar, the entire premise is that a young man is trying to gain a particular female’s attention – she’s clearly not having it because, after all, as the title states, she’s GOT a man. But of course, he’s got 50-11 reasons why she should disregard that man in favor of the new suitor, and therefore disrespect herself completely-- not to mention that the minute the young lady in question mentioned that her man was the type to gift her with all manner of material possessions, he became immediately disinterested because “[he doesn’t] go that route.” This really got me to thinking about male behavior – primarily because I’ve been on the receiving end of this kind of foolishness more times than I care to remember.

Let’s examine.

It bears stating that the men who would engage in this kind of behavior are not exactly looking for wife material. Even if they were, it would stand to reason that they definitely are NOT husband material. What I find completely hilarious is that they tend to display more than their share of indignation when the object of their affection is completely nonplussed by their invitations to dinner and a movie (do I look like I’ve missed a meal, or that I’m not pop-culturally aware?). Pffft… unoriginal drivel – but of course, a man who would steal another man’s crown jewel only to use her like toilet paper generally isn’t capable of the kind of original thought that could gain him his own Hope Diamond. Sadly, I’m aware that another reason these fools go about their business the way they do is that even if they approach 100 attached women (and trust, they approach as many as they possibly can without getting maced or tazed), they’re likely to get a bite from at least one. In their tiny minds, they are still a success; they’ve got game.

An uninterested lady might stop one of these troglodytes in his path by asking them whether or not it would be acceptable for the woman they thought of as “theirs” to be roaming the Earth collecting random male friends of which he was unaware. Admittedly, most of them aren’t even thinking that far ahead. I take it as a personal affront that so many cats step out on the false pretense of friendship, when the pink elephant in the living room is only that this dude is biding his time until your man does something to set you off, so he can be that “break glass in case of emergency” dick. Frankly, I will say for the record that I don’t even believe in the phenomenon of platonic friendship between members of the opposite sex, unless one of the parties is homosexual. Say what you want, but I’ve seen it happen too many times. Somebody catches feelings, or decides to wait around for the other person to drop the soap – and it’s NEVER a good look. It also makes me wonder whether or not the phenomenon of stuck-up, rude women that so many men describe is rooted in this behavior. Maybe if more males acted like gentlemen, instead of horny, desperate curb-dwellers or pushy salesmen, they’d get more of out a woman to whom they showed some interest than a disgusted sidelong glance, a dismissive snicker, and the PALM!

And I know, I started out with Positive K... but the tone of the blog was more suited to Tribe Called Quest. Sue me.

xox... Happy hunting, lame asses of the world.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Ladies First Guest Blogger Week - Keeping It On The Downlow by fungke blak chik

Here in the DC area, most people have heard about the statistics in regards to the ‘down-low’ men. You know, the men, who date women, but also like to have their prostate tickled by a penis as well. No, I’m not talking about bi-sexual men, who are open about their bisexuality; I’m talking about those men who choose not to tell women that they enjoy the occasional prostate stimulation of another man, or stimulating a man’s prostate themselves.

I see nothing wrong in being gay or bi-sexual. I don’t care if a man/woman wants to marry/f*ck/date another man or a woman. What I do take issue with is the men who neglect to let a woman know that they like to dip their stick in a man’s ass occasionally.

Up until recently I didn’t know of anyone who was leading a ‘double’ life and being on the ‘down-low’. But then I accidentally found out about an associate of mine, who I know lives his life out in the open as a man who strictly dates women. That was until I happened upon his email (long story) and noticed his subscription to a gay dating site for men.

For a second I was shocked, but then like a puzzle, the pieces of his story actually came together. Our mutual friends all knew he would go out on dates with women, but none of us ever remember him being in an actual relationship with a female. We all knew he was a little ‘extra’ at times when it came to his personality, but we chalked it up to him being in the entertainment/media business. What was even shocking was to read his “type” of man he was looking for. Considering that he’s quite masculine in his looks, we never suspected him to be the ‘bottom’ brother, in search of another masculine man. I guess he’s the quintessential ‘homo-thug’?

In any event, I doubt I’ll ever say anything to him about this information I happened upon, because it’s really none of my business. But he has one more time to ask if I have any girlfriends to hook him up with, because then I’ll have to tell him about himself.

If you found out a friend was on the ‘down-low’ would you confront them about it? Why/Why not?

I’m a blogger/writer based out of the DC Metro area. During the day I’m your ABOVE average 9-5 professional. In my spare time I choose to share my opinion on various subjects. Everything from the mundane to the not so mundane piques my interests. I can go from serious to humorous in a matter of seconds. My motto in life is, “There’s never anything too serious that can’t be laughed at”. Check out more at www.fungkeblakchik.com.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Ladies First: Guest Blogger Week - Dear PETA by Awesomely Luvvie

[Editor's Note: All this week the Madness will be featuring some of the most prolific female bloggers on these here Internets. It's my hope that you get to know them, show them your love and add them to your blogroll and daily reading list; enjoy!]

The other day, I was in my office when all of a sudden a huge fly comes swirling around out of nowhere. You already know about my fear of creepy crawlers. That Lil Wayne with wings was pissing me off because it just would not get out my office. So I tweeted that if I wasn’t a punk so busy, I’d chase it till I killed it. If I had a can of RAID, I woulda prayed it at point blank and yelled “Die, BEECH, DIEEE!!!” followed by a maniacal laugh. MWAHAHAHAHA! >:-D

Anywho, like 4 or 5 folks tweeted back to me saying I better leave that fly alone with “You best leave that bug alone before PETA come for you like they did the president.” THIS has inspired this week’s sternly-worded letter.

Dear PETA,

Your cause against the cruelty of animals is a very noble cause. I get your overarching point, because there are times when us homo sapiens mistreat animals and take far too much advantage of that whole being on top of the food chain thing and we run with it (See: Michael Vick’s epic fail of a situation).

In fact, I empathize with you so much that I’ve even considered becoming a vegetarian before (no I didn’t do it but doesn’t the thought count? No? Haters). But to do MY part, I only eat burgers once a week ever so often. Shoot, you try to resist a Big Mac (with the 2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles on a sesame seed bun).

And I do agree that there are people who do deserve paint thrown on them for wearing fur. Not only did an animal get killed solely for use of its hair for a coat, but because the animal died to make such an ugly piece of apparel. I think fur is uglier than a dereon jumpsuit with sequined buttons. Folks walking around looking like polar bears, and I’ont ‘preciate it. Then when they add the matching fur hats? A part of me weeps. What makes it even worse is how they walk when they have on the fur. Giving sideways looks that scream “Yes, I you KNOW you see me because I turned my swag on!” o_0. iCan’t. iDigress…

Despite all the work you do, PETA, I must award you with the “Fool Sit Down Gift Basket and voucher”*. The fact that you are up in arms about the President of the Free World killing a damn fly makes me FURTHER know that you are either ignoring issues that actually deserve your attention or you’re bored. Methinks its both but leaning towards the latter. Is there no celebrity to help indict this week? Aren’t there fast food restaurants that use “unidentified meat” to go confront? Has someone went out the species again and had sex with Lil Wayne (who I’m convinced is a roach)?

I mean, really though. Y’all are going to be picketing for the fly that lost its life while invading the Beloved One’s personal space? If that was a human, the Secret Service would BEEN shot him down and everyone would have been like “Well, he WAS in the way.” I see no problem with killing flies. If we don’t kill ‘em and just let them run amok, the ecosystem would be outta wack. Then, they bugs and roaches would build a giant colony where Lil Wayne would rule supreme over his 6-legged doppelgangers. And who wants that? Not I, said the Luvvie.

But PETA, don’t think I’m some animal hater though. I LOVE cows. They make eating cereal possible AND they allow me to rock shoes made of soft leather (which, by the way, is a by-product so TECHNICALLY, I’m not harming any cow by rocking it. It was going to be thrown away ANYWAY. I actually feel like I’m doing that cow a service by rocking a pair of FIERCE shoes that was created from its hide. The cow should be proud it didn’t die in vain, but contributed to the fabulousity of someone else. Don’t you think? Well that’s the story I tell myself and dagnabbit, I’m sticking to it.

With that being said, PETA, please go find a hobby. Jeebs be some more business for y’all and a corner to go sat down.

So sinsurr,

LuvBucket (of chicken which was killed very humanely, in a nicely lit room with music crooning – maybe Enya)

Luvvie's Blogs
Awesomely Luvvie - www.awesomelyluvvie.com

House of IG - www.igville.com

The Red Pump Project - www.theredpumpproject.com

Luvvie's Awesome T-Shirt Shop - http://luvvieig.spreadshirt.com

Sunday, June 21, 2009

If you refer to the father of your kids as a SPERM DONOR, doesn't that reduce your vagina to being a PETRI DISH?

Before I get into this one, allow me to say Happy Father's Day to all the men involved in the lives of children whether biologically attached to them or not. Additionally, I’d like to extend some positive energy and remind all men that your kids need you. Now, with that out of the way, let’s talk about the title of this post. I've been involved in a discussion as I often am around the blogosphere and social network sites. This one started on Twitter between myself and a few women and has spilled over to Facebook. I decided to bring it forth here as well.

Personally, I'm sick of seeing and hearing all this negative talk on Father's Day. Every year I hear the cliché, "Happy Father's Day to all the REAL dads," or "Happy Father's Day to the men who take care of their kids." This is often I suppose an attack on dead beat dads. Realizing that this is indeed a reality that some women live with, I still question such proclamations. Are they truly intended to "big up" good fathers or to belittle dead beats?

I've written a post here sharing my thoughts on this as to why it's the case; you can click and read it if you like. But it would appear to me that the problem of deadbeat dads is a phenomenon exclusive to the Black community. In my discussion this morning it was pointed out that 70% of our kids are raised in single parent homes where the custodial parents for the most part are female. It was also said that this in itself was the source for many of our social ills in the Black community. But is it really so? Is this truly the problem?

I don't know about you, but to me this gives off a false impression of Black men. It's stereotypical if you will. It’s easy to quote that 70% statistic; but it’s irresponsible to not show proof [read this PDF] of recent studies. According to studies conducted by Boston College social psychologist Rebekah Levine Coley, “black fathers not living at home are more likely to keep in contact with their children than fathers of any other ethnic or racial group.”

So I have to ask you as I have the folks I've been engaged with: are absentee fathers the real problem? Or is it part of a larger problem within our society at large as it relates to Black men? Could it be just another well intentioned stigma designed to negatively stereotype Black men as being irresponsible without regard to scientific studies?

SUGGESTED READING: Black Fatherhood: Reconnecting with Our Legacy

Friday, June 19, 2009

Say it Loud, I'm Fat and I'm Proud?

I know that many of you have preferences when it comes to dating or being sexually promiscuous as most of you are. Some of you can be picky while some of you are just happy that the person has teeth if nothing else. I did a blog a while back where some of the women said that they’d rather have sex with a big dude instead of Prince. I still think some of them were lying. Even as feminine as Prince comes off you’d still have sex with him before you do the big dude. See, big dudes aren’t sexy and they were never intended to be sexy in today’s society. The only time being a big dude was sexy was if you were the Emperor of Rome. You never see a big dude on a billboard half naked advertising underwear. Lets be honest; big dudes are not the standard. But you’ll see a big girl advertised wearing big draws all day everyday, no?

It wasn’t until recently that big girls started openly getting some love. Hell until I started hanging out online I had never heard of the term BBW (Big Beautiful Women). Hell until the internet BBW’s were just FAT CHICKS. Somewhere along the line somebody decided that they’ve had enough and decided to make big women beautiful. Am I saying that they’re not? Hell no! I’ve seen BEAUTIFUL big women and I’ve seen UGLY big women! One things for sure, there is no correlation between beauty and size. But I am kinda tired of BBW’s coming off like they’re oppressed. They come off as if they have no choice but to be overweight. Listen, nobody is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to consume 5000 calories a day while you do nothing but sit on the internet. I’m tired of cruising the internet and seeing BBW’s on these social networks representing for the big girls before they represent for themselves as women. I’m all for anyone being proud of who they are but damn, when will it stop!

I’m just glad that it hasn’t caught on with guys and I hope it never will. The last thing I need to start seeing around here are a bunch of fat dudes like me running around like they’re in a fraternity looking for approval. I’ve heard the term BHM (Big Handsome Male) used loosely and I think its wack. Just because you’re a FAT DUDE does NOT automatically make you handsome you fat fuck! Look, I’m fat and chances are you’re fat too. This is America, everybody is fat. It’s stupid that in today’s society that you have to “represent” to feel better about yourself. And the sad thing about it is that these people are proud! I’ve yet to see a woman or man run that proud to be fat rhetoric while at the same time saying how unhealthy it is to be overweight. Too often we get caught up in aesthetics and outward appearances instead of focusing on what we put in our bodies. Think about that the next time you see a proud BBW. Or if you are a proud BBW think about how much you’re supporting an unhealthy lifestyle. Fuck it, if you wanna rep being overweight, maybe you should move to Mississippi. Its the state with the highest percentage of overweight people in this country.

Being overweight is unhealthy. And there are thousands, if not millions of people, who are grossly overweight. Even better, there are thousands of people who are doing something positive about their health condition. Make no mistakes about it, being overweight is an adverse health condition. People are trying to do all they can do to prolong their lives after years of abuse and neglect by and to themselves. If you’re still running around here screaming that you’re fat and you’re proud! Maybe you should consider brain surgery?

Still feeling proud to be fat?

Stop Being a Bitter Bitch and Call your Baby Daddy for Father's Day

This Sunday is Fathers Day, and some of you ladies with kids probably didn't even remember that. Some of you knew it, but still don't really care. For whatever reason you just don’t care that Father's Day is around the corner. Well guess what? I wanna talk to you for a minute. I'm assuming that you're single and you still have issues with the father of your kid(s). No, I'm not talking about the way he "treats" the kid(s); he might be the best dad in the world for all I know. I'm talking about the fact that YOU still have a problem with him. See where I'm going with this? Ok fuckit I'll say it: you are still not over him.


Yeah I know that's exactly what you were thinking. It’s ok, I expected you to be in denial. Sure did, even after all those years. So you say you've moved on, you've seen different guys. Hell, you may even be in a relationship right now! But I know it and you know it; you're still not over him. Ok, then why is it that when one of your girlfriends mentioned that she saw him the other day you had that nausea feeling in your stomach? That plus you shot your girlfriend that famous Neffie side-eye. See, didn't know I knew about that, right?

Yeah at the mention of his name you get the screwface. When your kid(s) start talking about him you tune them out. He calls the house to talk to the kid(s) and you treat him like he is a bill collector or a telemarketer calling for the 100th time. You do all these things and I'm here to say that its not healthy. What good is it doing you? Oh and if you think the kid(s) are oblivious to your feelings about him, you really need help.

Look, it's time for you to get over it; it's time to move on with your life. You are doing nothing but holding yourself back, literally. I mean hell, he's moved on. Just look at him in the pic above; he's happy!! Even though he's not with you anymore, he's happy. Ok yeah so his knees are still ashy, but he's so happy that he and his new girlfriend dress alike. Listen, don't front and act like they look stupid. You both did the same shit when you were together. And on top of that you wanna make shit worse by hatin' on the new girlfriend by calling her a fat bitch. Have you looked at yourself lately? Yeah, you used to be his fat bitch, remember?

Look lady, stop torturing yourself like that. Move on with your life, and be happy. Fuck it, call him and wish him a happy Fathers Day. That's a step in the right direction. Truth be told, Father's Day isn't about you; you do not have a penis, or a set of balls - or at least I hope you don't - so stop it with the "I'm mommy and daddy," talk, ok? After you call him you're gonna feel better about yourself. Your whole attitude is gonna change after that call. Hell you might even start dressing like his new girlfriend in the picture above. If you do, don't even think about trying to get him back.

He ain't shit, remember?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

How come we never talk about hate crimes against Hispanics? How come they're never heard of in the news?

Look, I'm not trying to start any shit, but I'm sensing that the only Hate Crimes that make the media cycle are crimes committed against Jews, and innocent flies. Crimes such as these get major play on our airwaves instead of the stuff that happens to Hispanics or Latinos. Being the fastest growing ethnic demographic, you would think things would be different. There are a couple of stories that I've yet to hear anything about on CNN or the rest of the false media outlets.

You, know, stories like:

Hispanic Ohio teen gets noose around neck and dragged by a truck.


Armed radical "Minutemen" kill father and 9yr old in Anti-Immigration hate.

There are both stories of incidents which have transpired within the last few weeks but yet not a peep of it in the news nationally. Again, not trying to downplay some of the other recent incidents; but when a teenager gets drug with a noose around his neck by White kids, and a father and his 9yr old daughter gets killed by White folks, and in both separate incidents and they're Hispanic, isn't that newsworthy? They don't even receive honorable mention? Where is the Hispanic Al Sharpton? Screw that; where is Al Sharpton on these incidents? Maybe I'm wrong but I see these acts as sober injustices, and though the victims are not African American, I do believe their story should be told. Personally I think our Black leaders do themselves a grave dishonor by not highlighting and taking a stand with our Brown brothers and sisters. If they did, maybe, just maybe, it would lead to a decline in the Black on Brown beef in our country, no?

With Father's Day just around the corner, I'm sure that everyone knows the story by now of the guy who has been fighting to get his 8yr old son back from Brazil, right? I'm sure that you can sympathize with him; after all, his wife who was from Brazil not only bounced to Brazil on vacation with his then 4yr old son, she divorced him, got remarried and had another child. So she dies while giving birth to the kid, and now he has to fight for custody and has been for the last four years. Yeah, that sounds like a sad story and I hope he gets his kid back. This story has been in the news quite a bit recently.

But what about this one:

"In Pascagoula, Mississippi, in November 2008, Cirila Baltazar Cruz gave birth to a baby girl. Soon after, her daughter was taken away from her because she could not communicate with the hospital attendants.

Far away from her native Oaxaca, Mexico, she did not understand the Puerto Rican interpreter assigned to her. Cirila speaks Chatino, an indigenous Mexican language spoken by about 50,000 people. A social worker called in by hospital authorities deemed the new mother negligent and unfit to raise the baby, stating as reasons that she was an “illegal immigrant” and that she did not speak English.

To date, no one has asked the mother to provide evidence of support. She owns a home in Mexico and a store which provides both secure shelter and financial support, not counting the nurturing of a loving family of two other siblings, a grandmother, aunts, uncles and other extended family.

Baltazar Cruz is up for deportation, while her daughter is reported to be with an affluent Ocean Springs couple.

About 65 percent of Pascagoula’s 26,000 residents are white. Only 904 Pascagoulans are foreign born — about 20 of them from Latin America. Since most of the people that live in this tiny Gulf Coast town are isolated from the realities of immigrant life, it seems the authorities involved acted first and asked questions later. Now a woman has been separated from her child and can only wait to be sent back to her home country.

The Mississippi Immigrant Rights Alliance has started a campaign to reunite mother and child by asking people to pressure Mississippi. officials. Get more information about Cirila Baltazar Cruz, along with the addresses and phone numbers of the authorities to contact, here, and help right a wrong." - [Source:RaceWire.org]
Not exactly a Hate Crime, but her child was practically stolen from her, no? If this was to happen to an English speaking American in a foreign non-English speaking country, do you think this would be allowed to go unnoticed? That said, why do these stories get ignored by the media? Is it because they don't have the complexion for the connection? Are these people not human beings deserving of justice and equal protection under the law just like we all assume for ourselves?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Racism is imagined, and a conspiracy of Liberals - so says Rush Limbaugh - Damn he's a genius

I bet you never knew that the racism that Black people, other minorities, as well as non-minority do-gooders often speak out against is imagined. Yup, it's all a plot of Liberals who have essentially destroyed the can do spirit that is America. Uh huh, the whole Civil Rights movement, Slavery, and all of that stuff were made up in a Hollywood studio just like the lunar landing.

Don't believe me?

Check this out:

Uh huh, did you get that? That was nice wasn't it? Way to go making a case for Conservatism there Rush! Shit all this time I thought some of the subject matter I've covered in blogs as it relates to republicans and racism was real. You mean to tell me that none of that happened? It's a conspiracy? Really? Racism in this country is as real as Mr. Snuffalupagus? No shit Rush? Are you serious?

So wait, all the stuff you guys did during the campaign, you know, the Magic Negro stuff, Obama waffles, the monkey caricature, the White chick with the backwards "B" on her face who was attacked by a Black man etc., etc. You mean to tell me that the people behind all of that were Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton? They did the Southern Strategy too?!!

You mean they made millions of dollars staging all those events just like the Willie Horton ads, John McCain’s illegitimate Black baby and shit like that? They fuckin made all this racism stuff up? So I guess I, and the 93% of the Black people that voted for Obama have wasted our votes all based on a conspiracy? A conspiracy all made up by Liberals in America?

Listen Rush, I've heard this bullshit time and time again as an attack on Liberals and the Black vote. I used to think what you said was really nothing but another line from the republican/conservative playbook on divisiveness. Yup, and I used to have a problem with Black Republicans, but all of that has now changed.

I now realize that my perception of racism and race matters were all imagined. Yup, as a matter of fact, I'm willing to bet that slavery, the middle passage and all of that was a lie as well. Shit, up until now I thought that asshole who shot up the Jewish Holocaust Museum last week was a racist White Supremacist idiot. Thankfully now I know all of that was imagined, and to you sir, I owe a lot.

I'm outta here..

I'm about to burn my copy of Democracy Matters & Race Matters by Cornel West.

Lets Get Free: Do we blame the hunter or the wolf? Is Troy Davis innocent or guilty? And is this one big Left Wing conspiracy?

"Cowardice asks the question: is it safe? Expediency asks the question: is it political? Vanity asks the question: is it popular? But conscience asks the question: is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor political, nor popular - but one must take it simply because it is right." --Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Ok, so before we get into this one, it's important to listen to this:

The words you heard in the video above comes from Omali Yeshitela. It's an excerpt from a speech called "Resistance of African People, Crisis of Imperialism: Why We must Build the National People's Democratic Uhuru Movement". The actual piece or what you heard in its form is the intro on the political activist hip hop group Dead Prez's critically acclaimed album called Lets Get Free. That album and that segment from that speech is an all time favorite of mine. Why? Because in the context of the Black experience and condition today, it all makes sense.

So why am I talking about this? Well, in one of my recent blogs the discussion of Troy Davis came up. It was said by my man Constructive Feedback of the blog Politics, Policy, Pathology and Hope WITHIN The Black Community that Troy Davis is guilty and it's almost like the facts of the case are being ignored. No, I'm not talking about the facts as it pertains to witness recantation of testimony. I'm talking about a "fact" that he presented that ballistic evidence helped convict Troy Davis. According to him, Troy Davis shot a guy in the face at a party earlier that night before he shot the police officer for which he's now sitting on death row. According to him, the Left Wing INJUSTICE activists as he put it are fully aware of this, but for political expediency they are being disingenuous in not mentioning this "fact" to the public, although the prosecutor has [read it here]. If this is indeed true, how come it is not used as a regular point of contention when discussing the possibility of his case being re-opened?

In another recent conversation on the subject of guns and crazy people; it was suggested by one of my readers that I was wrong in suggesting the need for tougher gun laws. Instead, according to my dear reader, it's better to build more prisons in spite of the fact that they house a disproportionate number of Black men. Yes, he went on to assert that this fact is not a racial issue because those who are there (in prison) are there because they did something wrong. Do you see the all too common trend here? Yes, as usual, it's convenient to blame the Black guy. Or as Omali put it in the piece above people often blame the wolf and not the hunter who sticks the blade in the ice.

So what does this have to do with anything RiPPa?

Oh nothing, I'm just trying to encourage people to LETS GET FREE by being honest. Yes, lets free our minds from the shackles of mental slavery. Yes, both minorities and non-minorities included. We must all wakeup from this slumber induced by White Supremacist ideologies which are aided by the media and other agencies; yes, we must all become human again.

Of course I could be wrong. Yes, Troy Davis could very well be guilty, but I would much rather find that out with his case re-opened where all this "factual" evidence that nobody else has produced within the last six months is presented. Yes indeed I could be wrong, and maybe more prisons are what we need. I mean why stop now; don't we lead the world in incarcerations? Surely one day what we already do in this country will prove to be a deterrent to crime, no?

Pay attention:

QUESTION(S): Have you heard anything about Troy Davis being convicted of shooting another person in the face earlier that very same evening he "allegedly" shot and killed the police officer in question? Is building more prisons the way to bring about change as it relates to crime?

Monday, June 15, 2009

Lets See: Michelle Obama looks like a monkey; Barack Obama is going to tax aspirin 40% because it's white; and none of that is racist?

There's a blog that I regularly read that's called "Stuff White People Do". It's a great blog that I recommend you guys checkout. The author of that blog - Macon d - is himself a White man, and I have to give it to him, he's honest when he speaks on race and perceptions thereof. I wish more White folks were as honest as he is. I mean, like the next few people I'm gonna talk about for example:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I hang out on twitter quite a bit, and I am following quite a few GOP-ers, and lemme tell you, they are some of the most vile, obtuse, and pathetic muthafuckas I've ever encountered. I've had a few debates with them where I've busted their heads wide open to where they don't even fuck with me. But the screenshot above is an example of the stuff they talk about all damn day long on twitter. The above screenshot captures a convo or comment made by a South Carolina GOP operative Mike Green. When the good folks over at Talking Points Memo confronted him about what he said on Twitter this past weekend, this was his response:

"Let me give you a call back."

Oh so these assholes are big and bad enough to spew bullshit like this as jokes but not man enough to own up to them. Yeah, but these right wing chowder heads are giving Dave Letterman hell for what he said about Sarah Palin's 18yr old daughter?

Moving right along...

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Another South Carolina GOP activist Rusty DePass -- hey, what the hell is up with South Carolina? -- made the above comment on Facebook last Friday in response to a Gorilla becoming loose at a a zoo in his state or town. Yup, and that was his response. Uh huh, you guessed it, his was another joke. When confronted about this, he had this to say:

DePass told WIS-TV in Columbia, "I am as sorry as I can be if I offended anyone. The comment was clearly in jest."

Then he added, "The comment was hers, not mine," claiming Michelle Obama made a recent remark about humans descending from apes. The Daily News could find no such comment. [source]

You read that half ass bullshit? He never acknowledged that what he said was offensive. Instead he ushered in the "I am as sorry as I can be IF I offended anyone." In other words, if you were not offended, then it's no big deal. Yup, it's cool to go around making racist jokes like that especially when you're sure you're not gonna get caught.

Moving right along...

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Yup, finally we have this "goof" by a fellow Tennessee resident who happens to be legislative aid for Tennessee state senator Diane Black. What she did was to send the above image which depicts President Barack Obama as, well, you saw it above; tell me if that's not racist and insensitive. I'm guessing that she thought she could get a pass on this because her boss's last name is Black. Well anyway, she gets confronted about it, and she says in her apology:

“I went on the wrong email and I inadvertently hit the wrong button.”- Sherri Goforth [source]
Really? You hit the wrong button? Oh so you didn't mean to send it out to those friends, but another set. Yeah, she meant to send it out to the cool kids in the office who would have had a laugh and not snitched on her, right? I swear, these folks are a damn trip. Yup, and all of this happened all in one weekend. I don't know folks, but I think this is the type of stuff that happens when you belong to a party short on ideas; it's wonder Black Republicans never have shit to say about stuff like this. Oh well, us Negroes will just have to stomach it for the next 4yrs I guess. I mean really: it doesn't matter when they can't even sincerely apologize for any wrong doing.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Damn I was at the zoo that day!

I love the summer; every summer I reminisce about when I was a kid and out of school. Back in the day we had two months to have fun in the sun. Which is kinda funny because now that I'm grown I don't remember it ever being as hot as it is nowadays. When we were kids those days would last forever. The only time things would speed up was when the summer was almost over. As an adult, things are different. Its as though the days just zoom by. Before you know it, it's gonna be Labor day; the official end of the summer.

Being a kid in the summertime was the best times ever. Well at least until they started showing those "Back To School" commercials on TV. That's when depression would set in and the realization of it coming to and end was evident. Just the thought of going to bed earlier than normal made me sick. It was like becoming a crack addict for two months and then suddenly waking up in rehab after an intervention. Even though it was good for you, it was still bullshit. That's why parents take time out in the summer to do stuff for, or with their kids. It gives the kids stuff to talk about when they get into "rehab", or go back to school. I mean who wants to be the kid that didn't do shit all summer, right?

Remember when going to the zoo as a kid was cool? It was the closest you could ever get to wild nature. Well that's only if you didn't grow up in a Jerry Springer-like family. As an adult, I've been to the zoo a few times with my daughter. But its different when you're grown. Its like a lot of unnecessary walking; walking that you paid for. But your kid loved it, and that's all that matters. The only reason I'd go to the zoo by myself is because the monkeys might be throwing turds that day. Feeding time used to be entertaining but most zoo animals are fed at night or early morning so they spend the rest of the day sleeping. And even if you do get to see them eat, it's some weird vitamin rich special lion diet that's fed to them in a pan through a trap door. You don't get to see a lion chase down prey like it would it in the wild.

Every now and then a TV show will give you video of a polar bear biting a spectator or a Tiger biting a zoo keeper. I know these events are horrible but when I see the footage there's part of me that goes, "DAMN I WISH I WAS AT THE ZOO THAT DAY!!!" Those people got their $7 worth. And then there was the guy back in 2004 who jumped into a Lion's den in an attempt to convert the Lion's to Christianity.

"The 46-year-old man leaped into the den of African lions and shouted "Jesus will save you," according to the report. He also said, "Come bite me" before one of the male lions attacked and bit the man. Video showed the lion ripping a jacket off the man at the zoo in Taiwan's capital, clawing him and then biting the man in the leg.Zoo workers were able to drive off the lion with water hoses and tranquilizer guns.The lions were fed earlier in the day otherwise the man might have been more seriously injured or killed."[SOURCE]
Apparently the Lions weren't feeling his Jesus sales pitch because they bit his ass. If the zoo had properly promoted this event they would've sold HUNDREDS of tickets and DVDs. A man reading bible verses to lions is well worth my $7 and If "Lion Jesus Man" came to Memphis I'd sleep outside the box office the night before. I want to be front row for that rush. I bet the kids that saw his ass had a lot to talk about in school that semester. Matter of fact, just a few weeks ago a zoo keeper was attacked by a tiger here in Memphis. I wish I was there to see it, but hey that's just my luck. If you can't afford to do a whole lot this summer, take time out to go to the zoo. Take the kids, show them a good time. You never know, somebody just might get ate up that day, and I know you wouldn't wanna miss that. Besides, it's a lot cheaper than Six Flags.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Rev. Jeremiah Wright: Don't you love it when your drunk uncle speaks? Was he hatin' or telling the truth?

The fact that Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s latest media offering hasn’t gained much traction, and is getting beaten out by the Palin family/David Letterman beef must be a sign. Could it be that my man JW is irrelevant and not as important a story now that Obama is president unlike last year when he was running for office? Or could it be that “them Jews” are more focused on the recent attack at the Holocaust Museum? I mean let’s be real: on the sympathy scale, a crazy white supremacist with a gun trumps everybody’s favorite Black drunk uncle, no?

Being interviewed as he attended a conference in Virginia, Rev. was asked specifically about his relationship with Obama, and regrets. But somehow, just like “them Jews” did to him last year, they cherry picked the interview, and gave us this:

Asked if he had spoken to the president, Wright said: “Them Jews aren’t going to let him talk to me. I told my baby daughter, that he’ll talk to me in five years when he’s a lame duck, or in eight years when he’s out of office. ...”
Ah, lets spark another Black on Black or Black on Jewish controversy shall we? I mean I’m just sayin! Of that entire interview somehow the “them Jews” line makes headlines. To me it’s like having mind blowing sex but yet when it’s done all your partner is focused on is that cramp he or she may have caught. If you ever had that happen you’ll understand I’m sure. But does Rev. Jerry have any regrets saying what he said? No he doesn’t, and you wanna know why? Because he told the truth; yup just like last year.

To get a better understanding of where he was coming from one should take the entire interview in context just like they should have done last year when his sermons were dissected. Context people; this is what is often thrown out the window when stories are reported alluding to a controversial statement or comment. You know, kinda like the Sonia Sotomayor line where she thinks she’s better than “them white-men” as a judge?


Lets examine it shall we:

“Regret for what ... that the media went back five, seven, 10 years and spent $4,000 buying 20 years worth of sermons to hear what I’ve been preaching for 20 years?

“Regret for preaching like I’ve been preaching for 50 years? Absolutely none,” Wright said in an interview late Tuesday.

Wright also said he hadn’t spoken to his former church member since Obama became president, implying that the White House won’t allow Obama to talk to him. He did not indicate whether he had tried to reach Obama.

Wright is in Hampton, Va., this week attending Hampton University’s 95th Annual Ministers Conference.

Wright said that when he went to the polls, he did not hold any grudge against Obama.

“Of course I voted for him; he’s my son. I’m proud of him,” Wright said. “I’ve got five biological kids. They all make mistakes and bad choices. I haven’t stopped loving any of them.

“He made mistakes. He made bad choices. I’ve got kids who listen to their friends. He listened to those around him. I did not disown him.”

Asked if he had spoken to the president, Wright said: “Them Jews aren’t going to let him talk to me. I told my baby daughter, that he’ll talk to me in five years when he’s a lame duck, or in eight years when he’s out of office. ...

“They will not let him to talk to somebody who calls a spade what it is.... I said from the beginning: He’s a politician; I’m a pastor. He’s got to do what politicians do.”
So, do you still think his statement was inappropriate? Is he not calling a spade a spade? Do you think he’s lying? Obama is a politician is he not? I mean Rev. Wright is not exactly Louis Farrakhan, but was linked to him last year insinuating that he was also Jew hating Negro, right? Yup, but yet nothing is said about him voting for Obama, or even him speaking about his love for him. Nope none of that makes the headlines, and I wonder why:

Wright also said Obama should have sent a U.S. delegation to the World Conference on Racism held recently in Geneva, Switzerland, but that the president did not do so for fear of offending Jews and Israel.

“Ethnic cleansing is going on in Gaza. Ethnic cleansing (by) the Zionist is a sin and a crime against humanity, and they don’t want Barack talking like that because that’s anti-Israel,” Wright said.
Do you get it now? You know the whole context thing? Remember Obama's campaign speech or dare I say his best pandering act to date at the AIPAC conference last year? I mean maybe I’m wrong (you tell me) but I don’t see anything wrong with what he said about “them Jews”. Barack Obama did boycott the U.N. Conference on Racism did he not? He did side with Israel on that move to boycott didn’t he? I mean he is the president, the highest office in the land, right? Who else should have Rev. targeted or should anyone target with criticism? I mean let’s be real: Obama did make a choice to leave his church didn’t he? If you were Barack Obama what would you have done? Would you have left your church? Wasn’t it “them Jews” who helped him in making that decision? Is Barack Obama beyond reproach? Is the "them Jews" line as important as the substance of what he said?


Listen to the Rev. speak truth:

Thursday, June 11, 2009

White Supremacy: Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

Yesterday, almost five minutes after I published my last post on crazy people with guns, I turn on CNN to hear that some crazy 88yr old asshole shot and killed a guard at the Jewish Holocaust Museum in Washington DC. Then as I'm watching it coverage I find out this moonbat was a white supremacist, and that the guard he killed was Black. Yeah, a Black man killed at a Jewish Holocaust Museum by a White Supremacist who served in WWII.

Not trying to make light of this incident, but as I watched the coverage I couldn't help but notice a shot where the shooter was being transported from an ambulance to the hospital. You wanna know the funny thing about that image? Everybody, from the EMTs to the hospital attendants and even the cops were Black. Yeah, I thought that was a funny expression of dramatic irony.

I wondered if this hero of White Supremacy was conscious at the time, and just what the hell he had to be thinking looking at all those Negro faces for which he held a certain disdain. I could be wrong, but a part of me thinks at that very moment, as rooted in hate as he was, if he had a gun he would have shot himself in the head. Yes, to hate Niggers, Jews, and Spics is one thing, but to have your life in their hands in another? For him to commit suicide would have been too easy, and I hope he survives his wounds.

Not that this experience would change him in anyway. I'd just like to know that he's sitting in a hospital where there are people of color who recognizes him as a human being as they in their professionalism care for him. Care for him enough that he's able to stand trial, and eventually go to a federal prison and be surrounded by all those Black and Latino men as he spends his last days of his old decrepit life on this earth.

Isn’t it ironic…dontcha think?


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