Monday, March 30, 2009

Next Up In Celebrity Beatdown News

So like, I bet you don't recognize this dude in the pic above. I know, he looks like one of those dudes in those before and after pics of meth users, right? Yeah, I guess it's safe to say that this would be his after picture. He's not exactly a celebrity per se, but you've seen him on TV on countless occasions.

Still don't recognize him, huh? Ok then, well read on:

"Meet Vince Shlomi. He's probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers. Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go."

Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face. After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons," police reported.

Shlomi was also injured during the fracas and, court records show, was treated at Mount Sinai Medical Center. While Shlomi and Harris were both arrested for felony aggravated battery, prosecutors this month declined to file formal charges against the combatants. Police records list Shlomi's occupation as "Marketing," but make no mention of his affiliation with the ShamWow or the Slap Chop, both of which sell for $19.95 (plus shipping and handling)" - SOURCE

Yup, doesn't look anything like him doesn't it? See what happens when you buy a ShamWow? Matter of fact, if you pay attention to the commercial next time its on. You'll notice a testimonial from probably the second woman to appear giving one. She's a really older looking woman, and she always seems too excited about the ShamWow. She’s always been suspect in my book. Well, now the truth's out there, if you buy a ShamWow and use it, you turn into an alcohol enraged horny maniac...

who looks like a meth-head.

[Hat-tip to AverageBro.com]

5 comments:

Amber-Alert said...

LMAO i heard about this.....a lil odd right

Blu Jewel said...

OMG! That's awful. Tongue biting? So nasty!

love to live; live to love!

(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] said...

i can't imagine how it feels to get your tongue bit by someone else...lol..i know when i bite my own tongue that shit hurts like a mf'er!

Untouched Jewel said...

LMAO.

This Bug said...

"Dis is fuh da house, duh car...Shamwow! You'll be sayin' WOW every time." Hilarious. Great blog, btw. Keep up the insightful and thought provoking work.

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