I haven't been to a nightclub in quite some time. The last time I went I vaguely remember what happened and that was 10mths ago. Luckily my wife was with me and I had her and other people watching my back. Nobody ever wants to be drunk dude who gets knocked tha fuck out just because he had a little too much to drink in public, right? But for women, the consumption of alcohol without moderation in the club, bar, or wherever could have some serious consequences. Never mind ones reputation; it can be worse than that.
Like this:
OK, I know women take that panty line shit seriously and at times venture into the wild outdoors without underwear. But did this woman really have to take it to that extreme. And somebody tell me she's not pregnant. Ok, so yeah this may have been a wardrobe malfunction, but dammit this ain't just some Janet Jackson titty falling out. This woman's whole behind and vajay-jay is saying his to the world knowingly!
Yep, and obviously she likes the attention she's getting from the fellas. Which is really sad because I get the feeling that any minute a baby would fall from her crotch as one of them gets her pregnant just from looking. What club is this where this type of thing is allowed? OK, don't answer that because I could imagine the type of things some of you have been witness to.This doesn't look good and I'm afraid that this has the potential to have a bad ending. You know the type where she may have to lie about being raped, or a gang bang gone bad?
Wait, is dude on the right smiling and holding his dick? Seewhumsayin? Uh-huh, and yet people were outraged when a teenager left a high school dance and was raped by a group of guys after she took a swig of an alcoholic beverage. Not making excuses or blaming the victim; just pointing out how stuff goes down. Hopefully she makes it out of this joint unscathed other than being felt up by a few dudes. Which brings us back to the very first picture above of her outside of the club.
You know, I've always been amazed at the people who do stuff and blame it on their consumption of alcohol. Usually said "stuff" is considered embarrassing, and hence the reason to not own up to it. We've all heard the stories of the people who wake up in strange and unknown places, next to people they barely even know. Waking up next to a semi-total stranger has to be scary especially when you don't even remember how you got there.
I woke up in my draws in my bed, alone, and couldn't remember how I got there. Thank God it was my bed and I recognized where I was. If it was some unknown bedroom that would have freaked me out. Yup, and I almost immediately would have been checking for scars just to make sure I had all my internal organs. Trust me, you don't want to wake up to find that you're missing a kidney, after a night out on the town.
My wife and I went to a club last Saturday night. We were there to celebrate her sisters 30th birthday. Its been a long time since I've set foot in a nightclub, but from the looks of it, not much has changed. Even though, this was my first time in this particular club, it was as if I'd seen all these people in a club before. There were a lot of family and friends, and friends of the family there, celebrating with us, and it was cool.
Yup, nice atmosphere there at club "Classic Soul" that night. I was apprehensive before even going because I had never ever heard of the place. All I was hoping on the way there, was that it wasn't gonna be a ghetto ass hole in the wall joint. So pulling up in the parking lot and seeing two Bentley's as well as other luxury vehicles eased my mind. I mean, you know how some fools can get up in the club, right? Shit, had I seen some raggedy ass looking rides with spinners and shit like that, we probably would not had even stopped. Hell, I ain't be got no weapon!
Our table was stocked with liquor, and there was no going to the bar. Yup, none of that $10 drink shit, and when you're on a budget, throwing money away at the bar is foolish. After exchanging pleasantries with the kinfolk, I noticed that there was a gallon sized bottle of Bacardi Dark on the table. I happen to enjoy dark liquor as opposed to anything clear, or white as they call it. And since this was the darkest on the table, I went for it. I made one drink, chased it with pineapple juice and was feeling good as I was checking out all the people in the place.
At the end of that drink, almost on Que, the DJ played that single lady bullshit anthem, "Put A Ring On It", and the women lost their minds. Clearly, there were a lot of single women wishing they had a ring on their fingers in the place that night. They all rushed to the dance-floor. But lo and behold, who stole the show was this gay dude who pretty much did the entire routine from the video. People were losing their minds, and rolling in fits of laughter because of this guy. He looked like a broke Justine Guarinni with moves like "Leroy" from the old TV show "Fame".
The club was one of those 25yr old and up type of clubs so they played a nice mix of grown folks music. It was when they threw on some old Chicago style steppin' music that my wife and I got on the dance-floor. Uh huh, RiPPa knows how to get down. We danced our asses off, and had a great time just the two of us acting like we were the only people on the dance-floor. See, alcohol will make you do something like that. It makes you feel good, and makes the time spent just a little bit better than normal.
So after getting off the dance-floor, we went back to our table and I fixed a second drink, mixed and mingled with my kinfolk, and did some more people watching. Oh yeah, I saw that some women still have stank attitudes and act like all eyes are on them in the club. Sorry lady, it's not that you're cute, it's the fact that you're half naked, and it's cold outside. I had one more drink and the next thing I know, is I'm in my draws waking up in my bed by myself. You see, I remember fixing three drinks, but my wife tells me that after the third, her cousin fixed me like three more, and she had to stop me from drinking and take my ass home because I was a hot mess.
She said I was happy, but sloppy drunk, and almost fell in the club a couple of times. The thing is, I don't remember a damn thing past the third drink. No joke. She told me that she was afraid because I was so fucked up and kept talking about busting somebody in the head. Who I don't know, nor neither does she. She said it was at that point that she had to drag me out of there just as two other dudes started an argument among themselves. She said she had a hard time trying to buckle me in my seat-belt. She said that I threw up all over myself, and in the parking lot next to the car.
I think she said I also threw up on the way home and tried to jump out of the car as it was still moving. After hearing all of that, I was embarrassed as fuck. I was more so worried about how I made her look in the presence of family and friends. She said that I didn't do or say anything off the wall, nor did any of them see me puke. Or see her pick me up off the floor in our house when she walked me into our doorway. Or see her undress my ass, and throw my clothes into the washer. Nope, none of them saw that and I am glad they didn't. I felt like shit literally after she told me how the 3.5 hours we spent in the club ended. Which is sad because I only remember barely half of it.
Can we truly blame alcohol for our actions? To some it might sound like an easy cop out, and just some other cliche bullshit. Another well known cliche is that a drunk man tells no lies. That said, it is believed that alcohol releases the true character of individuals when they're drunk. But when sober, most people couldn't be caught dead doing some of the shit they do when drunk. Lets face it: alcohol lowers your inhibitions. Yes it does. It puts you into another world. What world I don't know, but its another world and I've been there.
What have you done to change the world today? What have you done today to make this world a better place? If you have to pause before you answer that question then chances are you haven't done a damn thing. I don't do good things everyday. My streaks of charity usually come in spurts. Sometimes if I do enough good things, then I might skip church on the count of knowing that I had a good week of helping others. The last few weeks have been good.
Anyways I've made a short list of people that I think this world could do without.
Feel free to add to this list as you see fit.
1) HIP WHITE KIDS WHO BUMP HORRIBLE RAP MUSIC
Sometimes when a white guy is "acting black" he looks to black people for social approval. A simple nod from a black guy on the street lets the hip white kid know that he's doing a good job of representing the hip hop culture. I made the mistake once of making eye contact with the passenger of a car next to me and instantly the staring contest was on. I wanted to give him the nod. I have no problem giving the nod but these two idiots were bumping "THUGGISH RUGGISH BONE" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. I have nothing against someone enjoying rap classics, but not in the middle of traffic with your radio turned all the way up. I simply looked at the dude and said, "That song is old". He couldn't hear me so he cut down the music. He asked me to repeat myself. I simply said "Thank You" and drove off. Getting two white kids to cut off lame rap music from the 90's makes this world a better place.
2) MEN WHO DRINK SMIRNOFF ICE TO GET DRUNK
Smirnoff Ice. I've had a few in my life. Smirnoff is the type of drink that some idiotic high school kid drinks before baseball practice. I'm 38 Now. I've graduated to Crown Royal and other random liquors. So I'm chillin at the club by myself. I'm at the bar waiting to get served. Mr Random White Dude is at the bar next to me and then out of now here he says.... "Man I've gotta go get me another drink I'm FUCKED UP." "Really? What you drinkin on?" I asked. He screams out, "Smirnoff Ice! You Want one?" To which I replied. "Nah, I don't want one, I'm not gay." He looked at me kind of weird when I said this. Not sure if he was offended or not but he walked off.
I have nothing against anyone who goes to a house party and throws back a Smirnoff Ice or one of those flavored Jack Daniels drinks. But when it gets to a point that you're DRUNK off of them, you're a coward. You're a coward who'd rather drink 14 Smirnoff Ices instead of doing 3 shots of tequilla and drinking a double crown and coke. As far as I'm concerned you may as well be drinking a mudslide or a daquiri or some other fruity alcoholic slushie. Secondly... if you ARE going to drink something like this, accept the fact that you're a coward. Don't go around the bar offering this drink to other men. The correct thing to say is.... "Hey my man what you drinking on I'll get ya beer or something buddy." But when you specifically suggest a Smirnoff Ice something goes off in the brain of a straight man. You may have said.... "I'm drinking Smirnoff Ice, do you want one?" but what we hear is..."I'm drinking Smirnoff Ice. I sure hope you want one too. Man I really want a daquri, that way I can pour it all over my body and hopefully some strong man will come and lick it off of my body while I lay naked on the bar" I guess what I said to the guy worked. I saw him later that night, he was drinking a Budweiser. I made the world a better place.
“He who warned uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.” -- Sarah Palin on Paul Revere
