Friday, October 31, 2008

MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE


What have you done to change the world today? What have you done today to make this world a better place? If you have to pause before you answer that question then chances are you haven't done a damn thing. I don't do good things everyday. My streaks of charity usually come in spurts. Sometimes if I do enough good things, then I might skip church on the count of knowing that I had a good week of helping others. The last few weeks have been good.

Anyways I've made a short list of people that I think this world could do without.

Feel free to add to this list as you see fit.

1) HIP WHITE KIDS WHO BUMP HORRIBLE RAP MUSIC

Sometimes when a white guy is "acting black" he looks to black people for social approval. A simple nod from a black guy on the street lets the hip white kid know that he's doing a good job of representing the hip hop culture. I made the mistake once of making eye contact with the passenger of a car next to me and instantly the staring contest was on. I wanted to give him the nod. I have no problem giving the nod but these two idiots were bumping "THUGGISH RUGGISH BONE" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. I have nothing against someone enjoying rap classics, but not in the middle of traffic with your radio turned all the way up. I simply looked at the dude and said, "That song is old". He couldn't hear me so he cut down the music. He asked me to repeat myself. I simply said "Thank You" and drove off. Getting two white kids to cut off lame rap music from the 90's makes this world a better place.

2) MEN WHO DRINK SMIRNOFF ICE TO GET DRUNK

Smirnoff Ice. I've had a few in my life. Smirnoff is the type of drink that some idiotic high school kid drinks before baseball practice. I'm 38 Now. I've graduated to Crown Royal and other random liquors. So I'm chillin at the club by myself. I'm at the bar waiting to get served. Mr Random White Dude is at the bar next to me and then out of now here he says.... "Man I've gotta go get me another drink I'm FUCKED UP." "Really? What you drinkin on?" I asked. He screams out, "Smirnoff Ice! You Want one?" To which I replied. "Nah, I don't want one, I'm not gay." He looked at me kind of weird when I said this. Not sure if he was offended or not but he walked off.

I have nothing against anyone who goes to a house party and throws back a Smirnoff Ice or one of those flavored Jack Daniels drinks. But when it gets to a point that you're DRUNK off of them, you're a coward. You're a coward who'd rather drink 14 Smirnoff Ices instead of doing 3 shots of tequilla and drinking a double crown and coke. As far as I'm concerned you may as well be drinking a mudslide or a daquiri or some other fruity alcoholic slushie. Secondly... if you ARE going to drink something like this, accept the fact that you're a coward. Don't go around the bar offering this drink to other men. The correct thing to say is.... "Hey my man what you drinking on I'll get ya beer or something buddy." But when you specifically suggest a Smirnoff Ice something goes off in the brain of a straight man. You may have said.... "I'm drinking Smirnoff Ice, do you want one?" but what we hear is..."I'm drinking Smirnoff Ice. I sure hope you want one too. Man I really want a daquri, that way I can pour it all over my body and hopefully some strong man will come and lick it off of my body while I lay naked on the bar" I guess what I said to the guy worked. I saw him later that night, he was drinking a Budweiser. I made the world a better place.

6 comments:

Dirty Red said...

You know you er wrong for this one. But I feel everything you said. It is sorta like seeing a man getting a pedicue while you are walking through the mall.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

LMBAO at number 2

and can we really vodoo doll wayne - would be great along with the babe that breaks out car windows

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Not that there's anything wrong with being gay... but #2 was funny and I'll share this story with you.

My dad, who was born in 1910 when gay meant happy, used to embarrass the hell out of me by ordering Grasshoppers (creme de menthe) whenever we went out to dinner. He wasn't a drinker AT ALL, but a friggin' Grasshopper? I asked him when I was 20 and deep into macho men (still am to a large degree) if he was gay. He said "What? Me?"

"Yeah, you. Why you always drinking those gay-assed Grasshoppers? They're not masculine."

Oh, he loved to fuck with my head!

He threw out his pinkie finger, took a sip, and said in a girly voice, "I just like mint."

I said, "Well, hell, chew Wrigley's Spearmint gum with a martini, you embarrassing me!"

He just about died laughing. He was such a clown. If he were alive now, I'd make him a Grasshopper.

RiPPa said...

Dirty Red: That stuff bugs me too man. I have a friend of mine who says women love that type of stuff in men. I just wanna know how come they didnt back in the day.

Torrance: Now thats an idea! I'm guessing thats gonna shut Wayne up. I'm so tired of hearing him all over the place. Next thing you know they're gonna have him appear on Sesame Street.

Kit: Thats a funny story. I'm glad that you can find comfort in the good memories because this one os classic. Kinda makes me wonder what year did gay men decide to come out to the rest of society. Nothing against gay men at all, I just would like to know if that kind of stuff is in a handbook somewhere.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Rippa, I'll be more than happy to tell you when hit my area (DC). In the mid-60's, two little black girls could walk down the street holding hands and no one would think a thing of it. By the late 60's (the bra-burning Feminists and Sex Revolution hit around '68), other kids would joke and ask if you "were funny". Kids, by and large, still didn't know what that meant in full detail.

I was in 10th grade around 1971 before me and my friends, male and female, at my high school heard of anal sex. For the first time in that high school, at least a half dozen black boys acted openly gay. People giggled and stared at their wild clothes and mannerisms of the flamers, but few were cruel.

In other parts of the country, particularly San Francisco and NYC, gay rights got a lot of media attention. What killed their movement was AIDS which wiped out a lot of them beginning in the early 80s.

I think the revolutions went in this order:
Civil Rights - early thru late 60s
The Anti-Vietnam War Peace Movement - copy-catted Civil Rights, mid-thru late 60s
The Sex Revolution due largely to the birth control pill and popularity of Playboy pushing the new lifestyle - late 60s
Womens Rights - late 60s
Rights for Disabled Citizens - early -70s.

Those are only approximate dates based on memory. Also, Americans became comfortable with suing for their rights too.

It all happened rapidly. I was 12 when King was murdered, just old enough to understand what the hell was going on, thank God. While I wish I was your age or younger as I miss that incredible body, I don't regret being part of the incredible history. On Inaugeration Day, I hope to be there to see that too if Barack wins.

Afterwards, I predict there will be a new revolution born in this country. It won't be pretty. More about that on a future post.

msladydeborah said...

I learned a lot just by reading this post.

First of all, I am older than everyone who commented on here. :-)

Secondly, the male psyche goes in directions that my female psyche cannot imagine venturing into. But it is all good!

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