Monday, March 16, 2009

No Mo' Bacon, No Mo' Sausage?

I haven't been to church in a very, very, very long time. Suffice it to say, I'm not a very religious, or spiritual person. However, like anything, stuff pops in and out of my head from time to time of this nature. From what I've been told, heaven is supposed to be a really cool place. I don't know about you, but I don't think living in a place forever singing and praising the lord for eternity is exactly the life. I mean, personally I can only stand being in church for a couple hours. Honestly, I don't understand why it takes some churches all day to do the lords work; anything past 12 noon is a bore, but I digress.

Heaven, though boring sounding in my mind, from all descriptions has to be better than hell. Which brings me to another point or thought: if there was no hell, would heaven be as groovy? Seriously, let me know what you think about that one. But back to heaven. Everything is supposed to be perfect, and all of our ailments are supposed to be removed. Yup, no fake boobs or scars in heaven. Uh huh, no ugly people either. We hear all these great things about the place, but yet we never hear if we're able to have sex in heaven.

Is there sex in heaven?

I mean seriously, this is something I'd like to know. Not trying to be funny, but here on earth, sex sells. It would only seem natural since we all love sex so much, that the ability to have sex would be another one of those selling points in Christianity. I mean think about it, in Islam they get to go to paradise and have sex with virgins. Or at least that's what they're told. That said, is it any wonder why there's a small segment of extremists who are willing to be suicide bombers?

Seriously, all jokes aside, until someone can tell me if I can have sex in heaven, sleeping with virgins, if my wife isn't there, sounds like a not so bad idea. I mean, I've masturbated enough here on earth, it would be a shame if something like that had to continue in heaven. Not only would it be messed up that I'd have to resort to being a part-time chicken choker, and God praiser. It would be really sad if there'd be no more breakfast. Hopefully breakfast is replaced by early morning sex in heaven. I ain't gonna lie, early morning sex is the bomb son!

Is there sex in heaven?

This lady doesn't seem too enthused about heaven... I wonder why?

8 comments:

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

lol i agree home boy that would be a great selling point sex

Wizzy Jr. said...

*Dead @ The Bacon Bra Picture*

You are a NUT!

Untouched Jewel said...

When I saw the bacon bra, I was like OMG! What the hell is Rippa thinkin. LOL. Now as far as sex in heaven is concerned, I couldn't tell you if I tried, and I grew up in church...GO FIGURE.

But based on what I've been taught in church, that sex is mainly what's been taught as something more earthly than heavenly and (supposed to be) between male and female, and married. That's a whole other topic for another post.

Anyway, if they had sex in Heaven, I would really have to choose my partner wisely and carefully. Last place I need to be is in hell.

(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] said...

Ok that photo! LOL! Makes me not want to eat bacon ever again!

Sex in Heaven?

Hmmm...I've never thought of that...if there isn't, i'm sure there's lots of masturbation going on!

Wholihane said...

Nawww! God is above all the sh*t that confuses a mortal man. He/she designed sex to feel so good and manipulate so many life essences that we wouldn't stop procreating. There's no need to procreate once you're dead. No food, no money, no nookie,......and damn it no weed. Just eternal worship for the omnipotent creator of all that exposed you to everything you will miss when you're gone. Man, get it in while you are here!

President Anthony Taurus said...

ahhhhhh my homegirl showed this one to me hahahaha lol

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

WHAT NO BREAKFAST IN HEAVEN?????? AWE MAN..... ROTFL*...uhhh, I can get by without the sex in heaven...but breakfast??? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day :/

Reggie said...

I'll bet that tittie tastes like bacon.

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