Tuesday, September 16, 2008


Is Mario a Midget? When he eats the mushrooms, does he become regular size or turns into a giant? If I were a midget, should I be offended by the Mario concept? Do these folks at Nintendo think that my “little people” problem, that I was most probably born with, is something that can be joked about? I mean how many mushrooms do they expect us midgets to eat before we grow to a regular size? And what the heck is regular size? I’m guessing its average… are midget people taken into account when making this global average? And most importantly, who the hell is sitting somewhere measuring people to make this average?

I think our doctors are leaking information from our files to make a little extra money on the side. That would explain the luxury cars and cottages. What will they leak out next? I don't know why or how but I've had this "midget curiosity disorder" for quite some time. Some people think its politically incorrect to refer to them as midgets. But I believe in calling them as I see them. I mean hell I don't get offended when people who don't know me refer to me as "Big Daddy". I mean hey I am a big dude!! Maybe I'm wrong? Oh well.

Just for the record, just in case you were wondering, I have a small penis. Yup I sure do! See my whole adult life I've had a complex about my penis size. Was it women, or maybe it was society? Either way, us men walk around everyday wondering if we're adequately equipped. Other than the dudes we've seen in porn, we really have no one else to compare ourselves to. I mean we can't trust you chicks to tell us the truth. I mean no woman will ever say that you have a little dick to your face. Nope, no lady will ever do that! I mean no grown woman will ruin the mood when she sees a guys dick for the first time and say, "damn dude, my last boyfriend was bigger than you!" I mean why would she, she's just as horny as you are. So you see, we never have somebody or some size to compare ourselves with. And that's why I always fuck in the dark for the first few times.

Think about it, why do you think the full size SUV (think Escalade) became popular? Where do you think the whole machismo thing comes from? It's just a front! The macho dude is actually communicating his inner penile insecurities. I mean, he's not ever gonna call his homeboy and ask him to come over so they can compare dick sizes. Instead, he has this macho thing going. Its his way of sending the signal to chicks (and secretly his homeboys) that he has a big dick. Now, he might actually have a big dick, but like I said, he has nothing to compare it to. I think the last grown man dick I ever saw was my dad's when I was a kid, and that really fucked me up! Could you imagine a 6yr old penis compared to a grown man's penis? It left me feeling like "damn my shit is small!" And still to this day, I think my dick is the same size. From reading magazines I have an idea as to what average is. But who really knows? They never had every grown man line up and take measurements. Come to think about it, that's probably what they need to do. Maybe that would put an end to all this macho shit. This way we'd all know how we REALLY measure up. I wonder if females walk around wondering about the size of the next chicks vagina?

I know us men do.


blackberry said...

Pard you lost me at hello. I'll have to skip this one, since I have a) no complex 'bout my vajayjay, and b) no belief that penis size equals potential pleasure.

The Black Russian said...

umm i don't compare my va-jay jay's to other girls lol... here's a simple way to see if u measure up buy a ruler and see lol....and just cause a guy may seem to be well endowed doesn't mean he knows how to work it!!!!!!!!

Dirty Red said...

Man you are a trip.
There is no way I would write a post about me having a small dick.
You might say you have a small dick, but you sure got some big balls to have wrote this shit!!

RiPPa said...

@Blackberry: I've always wondered why women concern themselves with penis size, not vagina size. Seems like to me thats more important. Shit, I'd hate to be a woman with a replica of the Holland Tunnel between my legs.

@The Black Russian: Thats the thing, I'm afraid to know the truth, so no rulers for me (LOL).

@Dirty Red: Thanks bruh. As a matter of fact, my balls have seemed to have gotten bigger the older I've gotten. And would you believe that my wife lets me keep them?

fat blogs said...

This may be sick but true. I wonder about my son's! I wonder if he grew. I hope that he has a normal size wee-wee. I haven't seen it in about 7 or 8 years. I want to have talks with him about what a women exspect and what important to a women. But he's 17, I dont want to incourage sex. But I don't want him to have a complex either. How do you talk to your son about his penis?????
"hey baby come here, momma wanna talk to you about somethin" See son, I remember the last time I saw your penis it wasn't that big. Now I didn't have another 10 year old to compare it to, so I hope it was the right size for your age. How big is your penis now? When it get erect can you measure it for me and tell me what number it is? I'll let you know if thats a good number or if your going to need to tighten up on other skills when time comes."
Is that normal?? I hope he's okay with himself.

brightstarr said...

Why is this post HILARIOUS to me? LOL. And no, we don't compare vaginas - AT ALL, lol.

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!


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