Tuesday, December 16, 2008

CHRISTIAN PORN?

Nothing cracks me up more than when I see news stories of people finding the Virgin Mary. Ever so often, some chowder head, finds images of The Virgin Mary on a potato chip, a corn flake, in a turd, or in a slice of bread. They often through their lunacy manage to draw enough attention to have some news crew come out to their house to run the story.

I'm not mad at them because if they didn't, well, lord knows how much more sin we'd have in this world. I know being a virgin and giving birth is miraculous and all, but I doubt any of you would believe the chick on Maury who says that she was a virgin mother. Thats one episode that I'd like to see. I gotta admit, it'd be kinda cool seeing 10 dudes all hear "you are not the father" after they admitted that they had sex with the chick who claims she was a pregnant virgin. Oh well, so much for that ever happening.

The latest virgin Mary sighting happens to be on the cover of Playboy. Yup, thats the cover above. It would seem that there is some controversy over this model being depicted as The Virgin Mary. This illustration was published on the Mexican version of Playboy magazine, and people are losing their minds. I could understand that happening because the country of Mexico is largely catholic. No wonder people are against Mexican immigrants coming to America.

Now when I first saw this, I never drew the Virgin Mary connection. I just thought it was just some hot chick, and never gave any thought as to what she was wearing. Truth be told, I just thought it was some middle eastern porn version of Playboy. I'm serious! Do you think people in the middle east or the holy land don't jerk off or more appropriately, masturbate?

I don't know about you, but I don't see this as a big deal. Hell the publishers of the magazine even said that it wasn't their intent to carry a virgin Mary depiction. But its to be expected, people gave Kanye West a hard time when he did the now infamous Jesus Christ crucifixion pic even after he said it was a work of art. This is what I call art, and as you know, art can be interpreted many different ways. Having said that, I think people need to chill the fuck out. Hell, even it it was an intentional depiction of Mary, you gotta be happy in knowing that those horny readers upon seeing it would give their lives to Christ, especially for God creating such a fine specimen.

I can only wonder if this was released in America if it would be a big deal. The combination of catholics and religious right wingers bitching would be a deadly assault. Shit, I just wanna know why they don't pitch a bitch whenever Mary is found on a potato chip. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think this is just another example of the protection of the sanctity of the White woman. If this were on the cover of Black Tail Magazine, I doubt anyone would care.



QUESTION: Could you watch Christian porn? Wouldn't it be cool to watch a porno flick where in the end there was a religious message and maybe the chick who just fucked like 6 dudes and got saved? Isn't it the message that's important?

8 comments:

Mista Jaycee said...

Never shall my porn and my church meet! Never!
LOL
Jaycee

RiPPa said...

@Mista Jaycee: Well, considering that Jesus hung out with hookers, wouldn't that kinda mean something?

LOL

Wizzy Jr. said...

I'm STILL trying to figure out how this Christian porn thing works. After the orgasm, they gonna catch the Holy Ghost or something? Hell, and I'm a Christian ASKING this.

Oh, and you already know my answer. I can't hardly look at REGULAR porn without cracking up...and I just watched some Midget stuff last night and damn near busted a rib. I think the shit is FUNNY!...but I can't watch Christian porn. SORRY! I'd feel DIRTY...and that don't happy to often.

Da_Kween said...

Yea, they need to chill with all the "up in arms" BS. So funny, you can't put a depiction of Mary on Playboy, but you can buy a Mary or Grown Man Jesus statue (idolatry) and place it in your home.

And what in the world IS Christian porn? Wouldn't that be more like a married couple's sex life since fornication is a sin? Otherwise, it would just be more blaspheming...with all the getting saved in the "end". LOL

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

What the hell was Playboy thinking? That was probably the most idiotic and provocative move they could have ever made in Mexico... or any other deeply Christian country. It wouldn't have bothered me here, but this lack of respect for other cultures is outrageous. I hope they're boycotted out of business down there. There's a reason the Virgin Mary has always looked plain and pious - so horny men won't be whacking off to her image.

Although Americans have plenty of Christians, we've been desensitized to just about everything.

Homeless people on the streets? Big deal.

Carpet bomb a country that hasn't attacked us? No problem!

Disrespect for the Bible or any other major religion? Shrug.

Crush unions, cut jobs, rape pensions, destroy Wall Street, all out of greed? That's life.

I'm so friggin' old that I recall a time when ALL of the above was upsetting, in even in DC where grew up. We can thank Reagan and the GOP policies for homeless problem and the US has gone downhill ever since.

I know you do funny materials really well, Rippa, but on a serious note, I think God really is punishing this nation and will be for a long time. Rev. Wright was right. You might remember my saying so in my 'satire' post, Urban Chickens Are Coming Home To Roost.

Okay, off my soap box.

uglyblackjohn said...

How many Hail Mary's would be required after "reading" this edition of Playboy?

Reggie said...

Now now RiPPa don't be such a cynic. I remember seeing something once that I started to save, but I'm not sure that it could have really been saved. I wanted to take a picture of it, but my girlfriend said "hell no Reggie". Put I tell you, it looked just like The Virgin Mary and that's the only reason that I wanted to take that picture. But when you see The Virgin Mary in a cumspot on someone's ass.....please tend to be skeptical.

Constructive Feedback said...

[quote]Nothing cracks me up more than when I see news stories of people finding the Virgin Mary. [/quote]

RiPPa:

Do you make note of the difference between Christians and Catholics?

One can say that "The Nation Of Islam" are Muslims. It is incorrect to say that "all Muslims are NOI members".

Thus it appears to be intellectually dishonest for you to make note about the "Christians" who see the VIRGIN MARY everywhere when it is the CATHOLIC who is doing this.

The Christian DOES NOT 'worship' the Virgin Mary as does the Catholic. This despite the fact that the Catholic sees himself as a "Christian".

Let me ask you RiPPa - do you plan to do an expose of the religion called "SECULAR PROGRESSIVISM" that you appear to worship?

Apture

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