Thursday, December 4, 2008


I found this pic over at Brown Man Thinking Hard and I found it, and his blog to be heart warming. When I look at the pic, I can't help but to get a sense of security. Sure I've never hugged Barack Obama, but if I did, I can't help but to think that I'd probably feel just like that little kid in the picture. But then again, me hugging another grown ass man and having warm fuzzy feelings might not be cool with Mrs. RiPPa.

Not just her, but society who is always lurking in the recesses of our minds says its not masculine for a man to hug another man in public, but it is to carry an unregistered gun into a nightclub. I don't know, but maybe its cool, to hug another man behind closed doors just as long as your pastor doesn't see it, but in public, its a no no. I can't help but to think that this stems from a lack of affectionate interaction some boys have with their fathers.

Somehow, I think we're conditioned to think that such displays of affection between two men isn't masculine because of it. Come to think of it, its probably why the whole "gimme five" thing was invented. Yup, and ironically the giving of "dap" is a Black thing, or invented by a Black man. Damn! No wonder. Black men have a way of being absent in the lives of their kids. Now I have to wonder who that man was, and wonder if he had a daddy.

Not only that, but I also have to wonder if this is the reason many of our women run around looking for men to hug them. I dunno, I'm just thinking out loud as usual. The last few days I've been shuffling the 14yr old to the library after school to do some school projects. I have to wonder if I wasn't around or she didn't have a man in her life to represent a father figure...would she grow up feeling the need to hug random dudes in succession all in an attempt to find love?

What do you think?


jjbrock said...

You have a wonderful blog! It's hard to show affection when it never been shown to you.

Our community have been robbed by the lack of men being in their homes. If a girl or boy have never felt that hug of security and love then they don't no how to pass it on.

I will go out on limb and say that's one reason a lot of black men have turn away from the church. Because, it's hard for them to show affection.

Worship is an act of affection and it can't be about you. You can't worship unless you participate. Some men have a hard time during this.

The picture you have posted is heart warming. What if that's the only male hug that young boy has every had? If so it's a sad thing.

Mista Jaycee said...

Damn RIPPa,
You hittin em right out of the park! I read in Iyala Van Zandt book Spirit of a Man that young Black boys are taught what Men DO not how to BE.
Young Black Girls however are allowed to BE and that speaks to a spiritual nurturing that's internal instead of external.

Young dudes are taught to be hard, to appear unfeeling, to show no feelings or fear. My daughter, I try to impart some of that to her, as a dude, we were taught that we had to fight outside or go inside as a punk ya know? I try to interact with my nephews more though teaching the external and internal though in balance.
Man I love your blog!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

when i lived in africa, i mean every coutry, men walkded down the streets holding hands - taught me a lot


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