Convicted Murderer Uses Facebook from Prison

Because of Social Networking, I don't even talk to people in real life anymore. Being an actual live talking human being is so 2004. When people in real life try to speak to me, because of social networking, I assume they're poor, live under a bridge, and will work for food. No seriously, I really do assume that.

Yeah I know that may sound callous, but it is the reality of the worlds within which we live; yes, there are two Americas: one with access to social networking and one without. And in 2010, this is just pathetic, folks.

Think about it, chances are, the very reason you're reading this site right now is due in large part to a social network site. And that's the beauty of it; because of social networking, like me, you're now able to trust people, even if you've never met them, nor ever will. And to me, that makes the world a better place, no?

Personally, I think it's a crime against humanity that so many people aren't able to access social network sites outside of the occasional office computer block-out. Surely the toothless Appalachian is deprived and are forced to live a horrible and destitute life by not having access to social network sites.

I mean no internet pretty much explains those drunken moonshine nights fueled by meth, and that's a crime. Speaking of crimes, checkout the following story of what happened down in Mississippi recently:

Democracy in Action: The Kill Obama Facebook Poll

As if the Secret Service wasn’t currently having a hard time keeping Barack Obama safe and alive; now they have to add one more investigation to the oh, thirty or so death threats Barack Obama gets daily. Oh the sacrifices one has to make here in post racial America. Earlier today someone had the brilliant idea to start a poll on Facebook asking the question: “should Obama be killed?” Not exactly a death threat, but…

I gotta give it that person because hey, at least he/she took it to a vote – way to go keeping the American ideal of Democracy alive; usually presidents get killed in America without any of its citizenry having a voice. Not only that, but I also have to give he/she credit for following through in that democratic tradition by giving us those great poll answer choices. If you took the poll, you had the option of voting “yes”, “no”, “maybe”, or “if he cuts my health care.”

I’m surprised that there wasn’t a “hell yes and I’ll bring the rope,” option.

Now surely some of you are going to say that this is just another one of those racially motivated deals like all the recent protests. But hey, at least the poll creator made it clear that his poll was all about policy (health care reform) and not race. Yep, so I don’t wanna hear anything about the lives of Black people not having any value in this country, mmkay? Yep, you Negroes kill each other every day.

Of course most of you race baiters out there wouldn’t see it like the majority of “us” real Americans. With you people it’s always about race. Well you know what? This isn’t about race; instead it’s what logical thinking people would deem freedom of speech. You damn right; and the U.S. Constipation affords me said right. Besides, even Barack Obama said that all of this isn't about race recently. And of course if he says so, then obviously it isn't, right Negroes?

What?

It’s not like they yelled “fire,” into a crowded theater; they did it on Facebook.

If you think differently then you must be a communist, socialist loving half-white person like Obama trying to destroy America. Yes, what other country on earth can anyone have a vote or a say in the assassination of the head person in charge irrespective of the color of his skin. If you ask me, I don't see the big deal; hell, the way things have been going in the country, it's a wonder someone hasn't produced an “American Idol” type of show to address the problem that is the 44th president of these United States.

Power to the people!

STORY HERE:

Top Ten Reasons Why Your Online Pimp Game is an Epic Failure

So like, I've come to realize that Facebook and Twitter is like the new jumpoff on the internet for so-called grown folks. I remember back in the day when it used to be Yahoo Chat, Black Voices, AOL, Black Planet and all that other now defunct and hardly even relevant online social networking sites. Hell even MySpace was hot for grownups for a minute.

Oh don't front and act like you only have a MySpace page to keep up with your kids on there. You know you got a page in an attempt to be hip anhd current and possibly attract some celebrity booty. Uh huh, that's why you got all them damn celebs on your page that you flirt with. Uh huh, and thats why you got all them damn booty pics of yourself all over your profile. Girl you lookin for a baller I ain't dumb.

Seriously, I feel sorry for the people that think these celebs are actually spending their whole day online responded to all the, "Just showin you page some love," messages. Speaking of love, it seems that some Negroes are too cheap to do the eharmony.com thing, so they troll these social network sites lookin for the hookup. Yup, ain't no booty like some internet booty right? Well, here are some thoughts from fellow blogger, my girl Stillsilkee (pictured above) as my guest on this subject. I hope you enjoy the post, and maybe can share some of your experiences as it relates to encountering lame ass men and woman on the internet. Trust me, I've heard some really funny stories from women in the past.

Ladies & gentlemen, pay attention:

I had the distinct pleasure, honor and privilege over the weekend to come across a few things in the dating universe that completely got my goat... and I thought in light of spreading more laughter, I'd make a composition of my reasons why some of these dudes that are trolling the internet looking for love *coughcough*pussy*coughcough couldn't hit water if they fell off a BOAT. So many, it seems, are missing the mark... so here's a little re-education (and yes, I know this message will not get to the ones who so desperately need it the most but I'm feeling froggy today so FUCK IT)

10. You're more than 50 miles away from me:

Unless you are planning to relocate immediately, if not sooner, to the Greater Baltimore-Washington Metropolitan area, do not expect me to waste more than five minutes flirting with you. I commute 92 a miles a day, seven days most weeks and I am not wasting precious vacation leave and overtime dollars flying across the country for booty-call weekends. NEXT!

9. You don't speak English as a first language (or if you do, you have no command of the written medium):

I don't care how fine you are, how big your dick is, how much money you have or how nice you may SEEM to be. If I can't communicate with you without my Secret Squirrel decoder ring or babelfish.com ... in the immortal words of Hall & Oates... "Don't even think about it..say no go."

8. You have no conversation:

Granted, a polite segue will earn you far more cool points than some lewd bullshit, or some big long cut-and-paste (see #5) ... BUT if EVERYtime you see me online, it's some straight "How r U 2day Ms. Laydee" bullshit, your ass is going to straight to File 13 with the Rejected N*gga Quickness. Surely at some point, you can find something ELSE with which to greet me that I will not find offensive.

7. You are more than 10 years younger than the object of your affection:

Okay.. this isn't ALWAYS a dealbreaker... but check the move... as for ME - I'm almost 38 in real-time. In my head I'm probably a lot closer to 50. I don't give a damn about your X-box marathons with your boys, your sneaker collection and I am NOT coming to your grandmother's house with cake and ice cream to indulge in carnal pleasures with you in your grown and sexy room.

6. You assume that my girth correlates to an equally huge level of desperation:

I try very hard to cultivate my online profiles so that they are an accurate depiction of who I am. That being said, what in the lovely fuck did you read on my page that would make you think that I would accept a date "for lunch and a movie" at nearly 5:00 in the afternoon from a profile with no picture, when in the message you couldn't be bothered to state your name or anything else..... thefuckouttaherewitdatbullshit!

**oh wait... you didn't read it. Don't even tell me you did.**

5. The cut and paste game:

Nothing chafes the inner folds of my ass (credit: Sis. Danja and her girl Ladysol again) like getting some long, fake ass wannabe love note trying to suck me in quoting Khalil Gibran, Anais Nin and spewing some ole bullshit about long walks at sunset and candlelight dinners... I bet the last dinner you ate by candlelight was because your busted ass didn't pay the light bill and BGE shut your shit down like a speakeasy during prohibition. Again.. reading is fundamental. A little investigative research tells you that I don't walk anywhere I don't have to, I'd rather ride my bike most of the time than ride YOU given the choice and I'm not the frilly frou-frou chick that's going to gasp and swoon and catch the vapors and fall into your evil clutches on the basis of what you believe to be the Magic Words. Peddle your papers elsewhere, slick. If you want to talk to me, I need some original writing. I get that the cut and paste game is an easy way to talk to more women at once and up your slim chances of getting laid sometime in 1Q2009, but uhm err aah... women see through that shit like Glad Cling Wrap... *bzzz*

NEXT!

4. You forgot to "stay in your lane" and/or "play your position":

I know that we all aspire to greatness...okay scratch that. I'll speak for myself and say that I aspire to be a better Tracey tomorrow than I am today, in all areas of my life. By that, I mean that I understand that in my present situation, I cannot seek to date a GQ model, with an 800 FICO score, a Ph.D working on his post-doctoral thesis, who owns both domestic and international real-estate. By the same token, my secret identity is not that of Eleanor J. Gotrocks... I am by no means independently wealthy and am not seeking curb-dwellers or other assorted bums and troglodytes to clean up and make into a welfare project. You trying to get with this? Have your shit together to the point where you are at least bringing to the table what I am bringing to the table. Granted i need a tax write off in the worst way but I can't claim your overgrown ass as a dependent. And I would think you would know that if you got the yuck-mouth, the scabies, your belly is hanging down so far that it completely hides your flaccid member or are just generally unkempt in any way that's an automatic GETTHEHELLON!

3. Wackadociously Profane/Highly Sexual Screen Names:

Let's not get it twisted.... Sista Silk enjoys a good, deep digging, chiropractic back-breaking, hot, steamy, sweaty, bring-cold-drinks-before and-put-em-on-the-headboard-for-later hump like any other red-blooded American girl... but showing me your dick before giving me your name, or expecting that I'm going to be pressed to let you go down on me just because you offered (like I'm the only person you whom you offered that service... oral chlamydia much, jerk?) is going to get your face cracked. No, I am NOT in need of a sex slave for training (had a guy ask me that yesterday) , NO am I not interested in having a white woman begging at my ankles to serve me (used to get those on 360), what I need is for y'all weirdos to go to wherever the BDSM folk go online and play amongst yourselves!

2. You found me... trolling through a female friend's friendlist:

**blinkblink**

Information tends to pass between chicks like water through a sieve. Quietest kept... manwhores are a laughingstock. I don't go behind my friends (well... with one or two notable exceptions I've been there) and they don't go behind me. We do this out of something generally called RESPECT for each other and more specifically for our sexual health. ... cause lord knows if you're knocking off chicks who know each other like that, chances are you are indiscriminate AND indiscreet and you don't need a third strike! Boo Hiss and BYE!

(need I even expound on the drama that ensues when said chicks find out they're all boning the same dude, that one that wrote the poetry with the indiscriminate pronouns so all y'all would think he wrote it for you? I thought not.)

AND DONT ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, SOMMA Y'ALL DONE FELL FOR THIS OKEY DOKE!)

1. Sure, You Hit It... But It Aint a Revolving Door:

So sad for you, my horny friend... that you didn't recognize the blessing you had whilst it was spread-eagled before you. Maybe it was that you didn't give me the proper respect. Maybe it was just that our timing wasn't right. Maybe *I* finally woke up and realized you weren't worth touching to scratch. Again, with one or two notable exceptions, once I'm done with you, I'll wad you up like a napkin and toss you faster than you can say "I've been thinking about you and wondering when we could get together again." ... and I don't waste time reminiscing about how good it was. Good dick is a dime a dozen and most days it's buy one get one free! I'm sorry.. for someone who does so much talking you didn't say SHIT! All these chicks out here giving it away for free by the pound and you're barking up MY tree... *pfft*

... at least that's MY take on it...

And I'm TI'DE!!!!!