Screwed by the Law

By Tracy Renee Jones

I like to travel and on my travels I enjoy sampling the local fare.... I eat..... I drink and I fall into bed with sexy strangers. Now while out partying there's always the chance that one might unknowingly break the law. Having large breasts will usually do the trick if you happen to have some of those on hand.

If that doesn't work just simply being an out of towner may garner some sympathy from the 'law' but it’s always good to familiarize yourself with such things before hand. So it's my pleasure to bring you a few rules of engagement that I thought we should all keep in mind lest you find yourself becoming familiar in the Biblical (unless it’s illegal) way with Big Bubba!!

You Said a Mouthful

Oral sex of any kind is illegal in Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington D.C!!

And you wondered why Monica Lewinsky got into all that trouble! She's an AMERICAN HERO; she had our best interest in mind when she chose to put herself at risk by falling to her knees and providing then Commander in Chief Bill Clinton with a PRESIDENTIAL. Sometimes you gotta think about the welfare of others and do what chu gotta do; Monica understood this and I thank her for it and you should too.

Screw That!

It's illegal to purchase sex toys in Alabama

Word on the street is that you have to make ‘a run’ out of town to ‘cop the goods’! I can’t get over the fact that a harmless butt plug or vibrator would have Sue Anne and Mary Sue Jane riding dirty much like a pack of ghetto thugs who move work from state to state. And another thing...do the state troopers plant nipple rings in the trunk as a set up? I’m just curious! Does the smell of anal beads tip off the cops during a routine spot check? I want answers!


Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you randy for me, Baby ! *licks lips*

Be careful with that tool, Big Daddy, an erection that shows through a man's clothing is illegal in the state of Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nebraska, Nevada, New York, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Washington D.C. and Wisconsin.

The country’s originator of black man overt sexual swagger and the home of jewel clutching!! I don’t know how NYPD is allowed to walk around in public; those guys are the biggest pricks ever and I can spot one a mile away..maybe I should contact an attorney. I've been violated.

The Friday Sex Blog [In Praise of Women]

It's Friday... it's summer... and it should be all about sex...

As men, we are conditioned to respond to challenges as a way of growth. As boys, other boys challenge us into inspiration: “I bet you can’t run faster than Flaco.” In the armed forces, you are called a worthless piece of shit, and this insult is supposed to challenge you to be your best ::sigh:: Therefore, as men, we are probably conditioned to challenge others, including our women, in order to get them to grow and improve.

However, if you do this, you will only succeed in developing your woman’s masculine aspect. The divine feminine thrives on support and praise. For example, telling her, “I hope you stop gaining weight,” is a lot less effective than telling her, “I love the shape of your ass.”

But, she was HOT!

[Editor's Note: The following comes from a relatively new blogger in the blogosphere. Her name is Joanna and I found the following post from her blog My Name is JuJuBe, to be thought provoking. Do check it out as well as her site, will ya?]

The other day I was speaking to a male friend, and asked him when he lost his virginity. He told me he was 8 years old the first time he had sex with a 16 year old girl. So, I said “In other words, you were molested” but he vehemently denied it. He said he is the one who made the first move. Now, I remember when I was young I had a very strong curiosity about sex. By the time I was 11, I was flirting with men in their late teens are early twenties, even making advances on one man who worked at a record store. So, I can understand that he was curious as a child, and was interested in finding out more about sex. BUT, if the man at the record store had RESPONDED to my advances, he would have been a child molester. To me, a 16 year old girl who has sex with an 8 year old boy is just as much a predator as a teenage boy who has sex with a little girl. I asked this man how he would feel if a teenage girl had sex with his 8 year old son. He said he would have no problem with it. So, I turned it around and asked what he would do if a teenage boy had sex with his daughter, and he said he would be out for blood.

I do not understand the mindset of so many men who feel that it is OK for a woman/to prey on an underage boy. Some men even consider it something to be proud of. I remember the case of the teacher who was impregnated by her middle school student. I heard numerous men claim that is was not molestation, because “She was a hot teacher!” Imagine the outrage if that had been a middle school girl having sex with her teacher!! An 8 year old boy who is sexually assaulted by a teenage girl or a grown woman is still a victim. He will still have issues revolving around sex throughout his life. People seem to think boys are immune to the psychological damage cause by molestation as long as the molester is a female. Not true.

Do Christians have Oral or Anal Sex?

So in Washington DC yesterday they voted and approved gay marriages; way to go DC not giving in to the pressure from the black church! But ironically on the very same day world renowned Televangelist minister Oral Roberts dies at the age of 91. Not trying to be a conspiracy theorist or anything, but is God trying to tell us something here? I mean is this his way of promoting "Oral" sex? I'm sure the kids at Oral Roberts University would like to know as well be cause the fate of them becoming a noted party school in America rests on this information. Yeah I know that wasn't funny but I had to go there... sue me.

But since I'm already there I have to ask this next question. Since God doesn't like homosexuality of any kind per the religious fundies among us, does he get pissed off when hetero-minded people engage in oral or anal sex? By chance was that rule on that piece of rock Moses accidentally dropped and broke? I mean I'd like to know because the last thing I'd like to happen is to be standing at the pearly gates and getting turned away by the bouncer because, well, you get my drift. I mean the Christian Porn genre hasn't actually taken off just yet as I think it should so I'm curious.

And one last thing: am I wrong every time I hear the term "pearly gates" and the image of my wife's vagina comes to mind? I mean that's my version of heaven and I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the idea of other people lining up to get through those gates. So can one of you bible thumpers clue me in on some of this stuff in my head today? Inquiring and horny minds would love to know, and hopefully one of you can help me out here because that whole Missionary Position thing is hella old and I think having to pray before sex would be a major downer.

QUESTION: Would you be comfortable with your partner wanting to pray before sex?

Did Eve of "Adam & Eve" fame mess it up for the brothers?

When Eve first performed fellatio on Adam did she stare into his eyes just before she did it and say, "I'm only doing this because I love you." I wonder if she actually said that? No seriously, I'd really like to know. I say that because this is what Black women are compelled to say when first, well, you know. And some of them don't even do it because they think it's nasty. Ok, yeah, so yes I know there are some "sisters" who are not bashful when it comes to oral sex; yes, I know this. But lets be real; it took like an act of Congress to get Black women to get down like that. I ain't lyin! I remember when they would say that only White girls do that sort of thing.

So what does this have to do with Eve and being Black RiPPa?

Look, if the Black man was the original man, then why then would Adam and Eve not be Black. Everything had to start somewhere so I am simply saying that it was a Black man and woman who were the first to perform oral sex. Of course I realize that this is another one of those little known Black history facts, but trust me, I'm dead right with this shit. Further proving that they were Black is the attitude Black women have in regards to oral sex today. I've encountered Black women who wouldn't have a problem lettin a brother hit it raw dog, but will not give him or anybody else some head. Yeah, they say shit like, "I'm only gonna do that with my husband," or "That type of stuff is nasty!"

Obviously this is handed down from Eve. I mean, since Adam was like the president of the world, I can only assume that he was the one who instigated it. Yup, I think once Adam was enlightened after eating the apple, he did it as punishment. Lets be honest: this is why society is male dominated, right? Eve didn't care for it too much; that whole ejaculation thing being new was something she never got used to. And this is why today, Black women are still adverse to performing fellatio. As well as shitty when brothers hook up with White women. Now, all we have to do is find out who was the first White woman to swallow and build a monument in her honor. After all, you know what they say...

"If you won't do it, somebody else will."

Oh yeah, and don't even think to try and disprove what I say either. Uh huh, yeah I know some of you are wondering how I can explain Adam performing oral sex on Eve since she was forced. Well, I don't know what y'all are talking about. Hell, everybody knows that brothers don't do that type of thing. I mean come on, why would we; that shit is nasty.

QUESTION(S):Why is oral sex equated with some other level of love? Is someone supposed to love you more once you've gone the extra mile to place the sex organ of another into or on one's mouth?