My Apologies to Soledad O'Brien and CNN on behalf of the United Negroes of America

Recently I did a post The Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Watch CNN's Black in America 2. Today, after watching the first installment or part one, I must say that for me it was quite worth the 2hrs of my time; now, as for the reactions of some of my cousins? Well, let’s just say that they don't feel as I do. I honestly didn't want to even share my thoughts on the show until I saw part 2 or the conclusion to the series. But after reading some of the commentary around the blogosphere I feel compelled to open my big ass mouth.

CNN, I want to apologize to you for my people. On behalf of the United Negroes of America -- you know the ones who enjoyed your show last night? -- I offer you my sincerest apology. You may not know it CNN, but many of my people have been bashing your show. They did that last year as well, and, umm, I kinda felt their pain back then. Yes, I too in the pre-Obama age felt some type of way about you airing out our dirty laundry for White America to use as confirmation on long held beliefs. This year however, I'm not feeling them -- the Angry Negro crowd -- so much. Before going into details allow me to say: it is my belief that Black people in America will never be happy.

That's right CNN, you can't please all Negroes. However, don't allow all this "hate" to permit you from bringing forth the programming which illustrates the various experiences that is being Black in America. You see, last year Negroes were complaining about all the negative stereotypes or illustrations of some of our social ills. The funny thing about that is that in doing so, none of them could dispel your presentation to be false. The irony of all of this today is that you put forth a much more nuanced approach with focus on solutions in education, and yet, Negroes are still mad.

You showed us thirty kids from the Bushwick neighborhood (not too far from the Brooklyn neighborhood my mother lives in that I know all too well) who through the work of a wealthy Black woman took them to South Africa. You showed us that in an attempt to illustrate how broadening our world-view has a positive impact on our lives as Black Americans, but even that wasn't good enough. I don't know, maybe it's the fact that me being born and having resided in the Caribbean as a child I'm a bit critical of the Black people in America who cannot even find Africa on a map. Trust me; I've had a hard time convincing a few of my Black American cousins that Africa and Jamaica aren't neighboring islands.

I know, you probably don't know this CNN, but Black people in America are just finicky like that. What can I say, White America has done quite the job on our minds and it didn't happen overnight; it took about 400yrs or so. In a society where we're inundated with negative images of Black people -- you know like on our local 10 o'clock news? -- You’d think that my cousins would be happy to see some well to do African Americans, who are doing well on your show. But no, that's not good enough; no, instead the complaint is: too many bougie light skinned people. Yeah CNN, it would appear that to my cousins you didn't keep it real enough.

Uh huh, and the sad thing about it is that they think that Barack Obama isn't one of those uppity elitist Negroes you showed on TV last night. Which is rather funny because he himself is now the measuring stick for African American success? Yes, today all Black kids are told that they too can be like Barack Obama. Be like the bougie Negroes you showed? Nah, not so much; but we've got that "keeping it real" thing down to a science. You see Black people in America "keep it so real" that we cannot help but to talk shit and only see the glass as half empty when you guys go out of your way to show Black people in a good light for two damn hours of our lives. Yeah, some of them are still mad that you showed how the dauther of an alcoholic father, and crackhead mother can manage to go to college. Yep, screw the triumph in what that young lady acomplished CNN. You guys made us look bad by putting that dysfunctional family on there.

I won't even take the time to go into how much it was a great idea of showing that sister walking away from her $70K per year job and entering that 18mth program as prep for her MBA. Nope, I'm not going to even touch that one because, well, quite honestly, some of my people missed the mark on that one. Yeah, and my inbox is filled with hate mail as is, and I don't need the extra headache. Just know that I thought it was good to see Black women especially doing big things. Yes, and hopefully just by her example we'll see more sisters break the glass ceiling that is landscape of corporate America.

Just know CNN, that this Black man in America is glad that you did what you did in part one of your show. Just know that I'm eagerly awaiting the airing of part two to air. And in closing I say to you CNN and Soledad O'Brien: keep up the good work and don't change what you're doing; hopefully last night's episode will impact the lives of our youth and adults who are not adverse to change, or maybe even hope. Here’s to hoping that the response from Latinos and Latinas in America when you air your documentary focusing on them in October. Hopefully the “Wise Latinos/Latinas” are not as fastidious as my Black relatives in America.

Henry Louis Gates Jr: "Open and shut case Johnson; lets sprinkle some crack on him and lets get out of here." - Cambridge Police

Racism? What racism? Henry Louis Gates Jr. should have known better than trying to enter his home while wearing a ski mask. Him being a prominent African American scholar you'd think he knew better. I mean if it were Halloween that would have been different; everybody dresses up in costumes on that day you know. That said, how in the world was the neighbor who called the cops to know it was him trying to break into his own house? Yeah, and why would said neighbor vouch for him after the police showed up? I mean, you know all Black people residential burglars look alike, right? Shit, I wouldn't wanna stick my head out and vouch for the guy either. You start doing that and all of sudden your neighborhood is over-ran by Black people as they move in.

Yeah, it's just like you Black folks to get arrested and scream racial profiling and racism. Yep, you people always cry foul and never take into account your actions when encountering the police. Instead of keeping his mouth shut or providing some ID, he accused the cops of being racist and went to jail for disorderly conduct. Yep, you Negroes sure do have a way of getting that street cred by that whole "keepin' it real" thing. Well you know what Black people? Cops are known to keep in realer. And can you blame them? They do all of this in the interest of public safety. Uh huh, and if the cops don't do it, there are certain people in the state of Texas who are known to take justice into their own hands. Yes, and Henry Louis Gates Jr. better thank Black Baby Jesus that this little incident didn't transpire next door to Mr. Joe Horn: America's hero.

That's right, the police in this case was responding to a call of a concerned citizen, but you Negroes aren't happy about that. First you guys are against the "Stop Snitching" movement, but are all mad now because some smart Black guy got arrested? Listen Black people, you can't have it both ways. I mean you don't hear those oppressed White criminals upstanding caucasian citizens bitching and moaning when they become victims of reverse racism, do you? Oh you don't think White people are victims of reverse discrimination when it comes to crime? OK, well obviously you haven't noticed those Brinks Home Security commercials on TV. Obviously you haven't noticed that in those commercials all the perps are always White. Uh huh, they never show a Black perp kicking in a door, and why is that? Reverse discrimination.

Yes, and it's funny how you people are always quick to pull some conspiracy out of your rectums when it comes to racism. Yeah, lemme guess, COINTELPRO and the CIA were behind this latest event, no? Yep, it's always "the man" or maybe the actions of some "Spook Who Sat By The Door", who is responsible for taking down one of our own. Yep, the same ones who set-up Michael Vick and planted dead pit bulls on his property; yep, it's always a conspiracy. But what's sad is that you people don't see the real conspiracy behind this one. Yes, you guys don't see that this is all the work of CNN. Uh huh, Henry Louis Gates Jr. was a contributor in the upcoming installment of Black in America 2 which premieres this week. Umm, do you think it's a coincidence that he's in the news as a victim of racial profiling?

Look, all jokes aside, what happened to the good professor was really messed up. If anything it should serve notice to you Uppity Elitist Negroes/Black Republicans that racism is indeed something that everybody encounters in spite of their socio-economic status. Yes, the same way poor people in "the hood" cry foul when dealing with the police, so too can you be a victim. I don't exactly know how many wake up calls are needed in our society. But I find it ironic - and telling - that this took place on the very campus of the University that Barack Obama attended where he was the president of the Harvard Law Review. Looks like post-racial has come full circle don't you think? Henry Louis Gates Jr. the formidable Havard African American scholar is lucky they didn't sprinkle some crack on him.

The Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Watch CNN's Black in America 2

If you're still a little salty after watching CNN's Black in America documentary last year, you've probably already made up your mind not to watch part 2 this year. I watched it last year like everybody else, and yes, I was somewhat disappointed. However, unlike my wife and the rest of you ungrateful Negroes, I am going to watch this years installment. What follows is my attempt to convince you ungrateful Negroes of just why you should watch Black in America 2:

10) They're still Black people in America: Nope, we didn't all go back to Africa, nor did we or our circumstances change in post-racial America. Black kids were thrown out of a Philly pool a couple weeks ago.

9) Our president is Black: Surely you wouldn't want to miss out on all the gleeful commentary on the state of Black America when we have our first Black president? Him being the catalyst for hope and change should be enough to convince yourself that CNN is going to do a good job. Hopefully they'll offer solutions unlike him of course. I'm sure he'll be watching.

8) Watch parties: There are going to be watch parties all over the country. So if by chance you don't have cable anymore because they've finally caught up to your cable stealing ass you have no excuse. Besides, wouldn't it be cool to get together with fellow Americans for such an event? Surely you don't want to miss out on the spades tournament afterward, do you? It's gonna be like the inauguration all over again minus the cold weather.

7) It's CNN and not Fox News Channel: Yes, you should have nothing to fear when it comes to the negative depictions of Black people in America. Can you imagine if this were a documentary put together by the good folks over at the house that Rupert Murdoch built? There will be no commentary from Jesse Lee Peterson or Juan Williams on this one folks. That alone should be encouragement enough. Besides, CNN is like the United Nations when it comes to it's employees; there are more people of color on that network than Fox and MSNBC put together.

6) This is not a show for White people: Contrary to popular belief, this show is for America and not meant to be one of those "look at the Negroes" carnival sideshow attractions. If that's what you think, obviously you haven't seen the dysfunction that is Maury or a Jerry Springer episode. No, there will be no paternity test results read on this one.

5) There's no "White in America" documentary: Lets face it, if there were a true documentary which chronicled the White experience, Negroes would be mad. It's not that we don't know what it means to be White in America. It's that a show like that would be a slap in the face. And I don't think America needs a repeat of what happened when the Roots miniseries first aired back in the day. Yep, there's no need for random White people to get beat up over a TV show. That said, Black people should be glad that this is about them and not White folks. Yep, America is too scared to air such a program.

4) Soledad O'Brien: The sister is fine and there's not much more to be said than that. Other then the fact that she is Black, intelligent, and qualified to ask the right questions. And lets be real: not even Oprah Winfrey would do a show on what it is to be Black in America. Oh, and did I mention she's fine?

3) You don't have anything else to do: Yes, the program is playing on Wednesday and Thursday night. That said, you don't have shit else to do and no reason to miss either night. Unless you're a Jehovah's Witness and have to go hangout at the Kingdom Hall on Thursday night. I mean seriously: basketball season is over, and football is yet to start. There are no sporting events getting in the way of getting your family together to watch this.

2) Solutions: I get the idea that this years offering may be heavy on solutions unlike last year. I think for most people this was a problem. There was a presentation of one extreme to the next with not much middle ground or solutions. It was either you're well do do, or extremely poor and about to lose your home. This year I believe much of the discussion will be about moving forward and inspiring.

1) You watched the BET awards this year: Do I really have to explain this one? The fact that you gave your time to that station is an insult to your ancestors and you owe it to them to watch Black in America 2; it's only right. It is because I think somewhere down south a Black person is lynched everytime 106th & Park is aired.

So there you have it. I hope you folks who read this will now at least take the time to tune in and watch the show. I have faith in CNN and this years show and I doubt that they won't let me down. I wish I could say the same for everybody else. But lord knows us Negroes are never happy. Yes, and it is with saying that, that you folks know that I reserve the right to tear CNN a new asshole if they do in fact disappoint me after I watch the show.

Are you gonna watch it?