INDEPENDENCE DAY: JUST GIVE ME WATERMELON

So I'm sitting here wondering to myself: Should black people celebrate Independence Day? I dunno, but I think we were slaves when the Declaration of Independence was signed. I wasn't there that day, but I don't think they bgave black folks the day off on that day. Nor did they invite any of us to the family cookout. But hey, black people celebrating the 4th of July is just some ole' copy cat shit we picked up through assimilation; we can't help it; we always find a reason to celebrate and party; 400yrs of slavery and oppression will do that to ya.

Fuck it, I can't be mad at that. I'm gonna go to a cookout, drink lots of sodas (no beer), and raise my blood pressure fuckin with that pork we all love so much. I just wished as black people that we'd celebrate the EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION as big as we do the 4th of July. If you ask the average black kid, or adult for that matter what day we were emancipated, they'd probably tell you it was Decenber 25th when Jesus was born. But who's fault is that? Ours of course. We've failed to place a significant importance of that day, all the while bitching about being given 28 days to celebrate black history. But its not too late for us. We can get to work and be as progressive as the fine folks of Barnsville Georgia...

CHECK THIS OUT...

We need to have our own celebration as big as the 4th of July all over this country. I recently heard about "Juneteenth" and hell I'm 37yrs old. Not too many people celebrate that day in regognition of the emancipation of the slaves. But if there was a NIGGA DAY, I think you'd see it take off all over the country. Not exactly the most dignifying word to use for the title. But lets be honest, the word NIGGA is pretty catchy. Hell, the word still lives on even after the NAACP tried to bury it last year. Besides, the rappers would be able to give us free advertising.

I think its high time that blacks in this country embrace their niggerdom and celebrate it nationally. Its pretty sad that we celebrate all these "white folks" holidays and reject our own. Somebody get me Obama's phone number. I need to give him a call and try to make this shit happen....

Fried chicken & watermelon for everybody!!

BTW: If you fail to see the humor or sarcasm in this post don't get mad...I'm as American as baseball, apple pie, and cotton fields. Relax, its a part of our history. And if you're still mad...drink a warm cup of bleach.

HANCOCK: WAY TO REP THE BROTHAS WILL SMITH

I'm not an avid movie goer at all. I know some people who are at the movies, like, every weekend. Not me. With popcorn costing $20, and the chocolate covered raisins running a close $15, I'll just wait for it to come to cable. Occasionally, there's that one movie that I have to see when released. Last year it was "Black Snake Moan" which turned out to be one of my favorites. What can I say, I love Samuel Jackson, and seeing his crazy ass dragging a white girl on a chain in the previews were enough to peak my interest.

SIDENOTE: I think every black man should be allowed one chained up white woman in his house for at least 30 days. There's something empowering about that, and hell brothas need all the power we can get right about now. Obama's gonna be president, what better time than now to chain up white women?

So I haven't been to the movies in a while, but for the last month or so, I've made up my mind that I'm gonna go see "Hancock". As I mentioned in a previous blog, I happen to like Will Smith. I can't stand looking at those "Fresh Prince" re-runs my wife loves so much, but I love the dude as an actor. But with this movie, even though it might be great, I think he set the brothas back a lil bit.

For the last few years there's been a resurgence of the comic book superhero. Alot of our favorite comic book superheros have been brought to life on the big screen and its been cool to watch. I've been waiting and wondering for a long time if we'll ever have a black superhero. I mean a real black superhero with actual powers, and not some Shaft like dude wearing a leather jacket beating up white people. I'm talking a bonafide real superhero. And what did Will Smith do? He became that guy. Am I happy? Hell no! Why should I be happy when the first black superhero we have is a fuckin dysfunctional one?!! Its like a nigga can't catch a break in this country. A black man can't run for president and apparently he can't be a normal superhero like the white ones.

Everybody loves Superman. Hell they even loved him after he bounced on earth for 5yrs and let the World Trade Center get attacked by terrorists. White people welcomed him back with open arms. They even love Batman with his dark grimey no powers having self. They even made Bruce Wayne a rich dude. Iron Man did his thing this year. Spiderman won't fuckin die and they even have a new dude playing him in the next sequel. Even the Hulk blew up this year. he tore shit up for two movies and white folks ain't mad at him. But then again, he's like the only green dude around. But Hancock? No such luck. He has to be a fucked up superhero that nobody likes. The muthafucka even goes to jail in the movie. Can you believe that shit?!! How you gonna be a superhero but can't even get a job because you have a criminal record? I haven't seen the movie yet, but I know I'll be pissed if they make CRACK his Kryptonite. You know every superhero has to have that one thing that can make him weak.

I'm pretty sure Will Smith can pull off this role, and still keep me as a fan. I mean he's known for saving the world. He fuckin beat the aliens in "Independence Day" for crying out loud! Mr. Scientology Tom Cruise couldn't even do that in "War Of The Worlds". He ran like a bitch until the aliens caught the flu and died because we didn't have universal healthcare. I wanna think that Dave Chappelle would have made for a better fucked up superhero and make me laugh instead of Will Smith. Will is known to take his roles kinda serious and I'm afraid that he's gonna take this one too serious. Serious enough to do a good job, and you know what that means right? We'll have sequels!! Good for Will, but not for black people. Who wants to have three sequels of a black superhero drinking forties, going to jail for child support or not being able to vote. I know I don't dammit, but I'll damn sure be at the movies to see this Hancock dude. Maybe he'll have white people loving him in the end. I doubt it seriously, but then again, its Will Smith, he's a safe likeable negro unlike Wesley Snipes. They threw that nigga in jail didn't they? He was supposed to play the comic book character "Black Panther" several years ago. Oh well, as Chuck D said, "Death Row, what a brotha know."

Where's Blank Man when we need him.

WHEN THUGS CRY

For a long time, the coolest reality show on TV for was "COPS". Not that I like seeing people go to jail in particular. Its just that human tragedy often offers something for me to laugh at. Yeah I know that sounds sick, but there's always something funny in every situation. Its not only humorous, but educational as well. You see, if there's something to learn from "COPS" is that people don't know their constitutional rights. This is evident when I see people on this show who run their mouths when pulled over or picked up by the police.

As a matter of fact, most people incriminate themselves and they don't even know it.

OFFICER:"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

IDIOT:"Yeah, I was speeding officer my bad."

OFFICER:"So you don't mind if I search your car do you?"

IDIOT:"No I don't officer, go right ahead, that beer in the can is from last night."

Now if you have 100lbs of weed and 50 kilos of cocaine in your car, why on earth would you consent to a search? Clearly, people don't realize that they have the right to say "NO I DO NOT CONSENT TO A SEARCH!" By invoking this right with that statement means that they cannot run thru your shit like they do. And in doing so, you wont have a pissed off drug dealer trying to kill you for losing all his dope. You'll really lose cool points with your dope dealer if you don't know your rights. But hey, people talk too much.

Not that I'm against snitching or anything. But hell, 100lbs of coke just didnt get into your car by accident. Lemme guess, you got into the wrong car when you left the mall today? You knew what the fuck you were doing, and when you got caught, you had the right to remain silent. Just shut the fuck up and ask for an attorney. You don't have to say shit to incriminate yourself. Don't make their jobs easier, make them earn their keep. Besides, the idea behind criminal activity is to NOT get caught. But most criminals are idiots and ignorant to their basic rights. Honestly, this is why so many brothas go to jail. They lack knowledge of their basic rights. But yet they run around frontin hardcore, get caught up and cry like bitches. Then you see them on MSNBC's "Lockup" dcumentary being proud of being in "the hole" in segregation for 12 months. Dude is hard, he throws feces at prison guards, but he was just on TV crying like baby last year.

Just like those dudes you see on "The First 48". If you've been living under a rock and don't know. Its a show where cops try and solve homicides within the first 48hrs of the crime. Most of the dudes that get caught on there get broken down and cry like babies. Yup, the same dudes who were listenin to Tupac, smoking weed and talking about thug life while loading clips. I just think shit like that is funny to me. They get in the interrogation room and start talking when all they have to say is I wanna speak to an attorney. Upon saying that, the interview is over. But yet they spill their guts and their words are often used against them in convictions. When I see these dudes break down crying I think its funny and I laugh my ass off. What's even funnier is that these cats sign a waiver allowing the footage of themselves to be released. Crying in the interrogatin room is the last thing I want my homies around the way to see from me.

As much as I love those shows. And as much humor they provide me. I can't help but to think of how racist they are. They're mostly taped in large cities, but for some reason, most of the accused are always minorities. hardly do I ever see an episode on "The First 48" where somebody white is the perpetrator. I'm guessing in those cities there just aren't any white people who commit murder. I mean, thats what I'd have to conclude if I saw the show for the first time after landing here from Mars. Either that, or that white criminals, specifically murderers are just smarter. But then again, they've sure had some dumb white criminals on "COPS" over the years.

ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION, DIRTY WATER & THRISTY MEXICANS

I've never been to Mexico, nor have I ever had any desire to go there as an adult. When I was younger, thanks to "The Love Boat" episodes, I wanted to go to Acopulco. I always thought that it was a cool sounding place, and stepping off the love boat as a tourist there meant that I was rich. But outside of that, I'm not feeling that country. Outside of my friend who is now in prison for drug trafficking, I don't personally know anybody who's been to the place. And his only reason for going was to bring back pounds of weed. Not exactly the tourist thing to do, so I declined his invitation to make a run down there with him. But I watch alotta TV, so the only thing I know about Mexico is that the water sucks. You always hear somebody giving the old "Don't drink the water in Mexico" advice. I dunno who was the first guy to visit Mexico from America and died from drinking the water, but I suspect that it has happened. Maybe it was years ago it happened, but you'd think that those Mexicans would've fixed that shit by now.

Last week I went to Indiana & Kentucky for a few days. I used to live of there a few years ago and it had been about 2yrs since I was there last. Needless to say, I was excited to visit the old stomping grounds. Not only that, I was picking up my 14yr old daughter for the summer so that made it extra cool. When I made my first stop in Kentucky after the 6hr drive at my ex's house, I asked for a glass of cold water. After the 2nd gulp, I thought that the water was fuckin nasty as hell. Unlike some people, I love drinking water from the tap. None of that bottled shit for me buddy. Those things come from the mountain springs and they have Bear shit and particles of lost dead hikers in it. So I prefer to stick to tap water where I know they use chlorine to kill the germs from all turds and old bath water. But this glass of water was really nasty and had an after taste.

My next stop was at a friends house in Indiana. I asked for a glass of water, and bingo...same nasty ass water. It was cold, but nasty. I was kinda puzzled because I had know drank 2 glasses of water in two different states and they were funky tasting. I don't have a GPS system in my car but I swore I took a wrong turn and was in Mexico. I mean, I don't remember the water ever tasting like that when I used to live there 4yrs ago. The funny thing, is that when I 1st moved to Memphis I thought the water had a nasty taste unlike the great water in Indiana and Kentucky. I doubt it was just me because my wife said the same thing about the tatse. Now I'm back in Memphis and I know that it was no fluke because the water here tastes great. I was even told that the water here comes from a spring. I don't know how true that is, but it damn sure doesn't taste like it comes from the nasty Mississippi River.

I haven't heard much talk from any of the candidates for president about illegal immigration. I really don't know their take on it, but I'd be interested in hearing how they can fix it. Those people are fleeing Mexico seeking better lives here in America. They're fleeing Mexico because there're better jobs here and they can make more money. Thats what the media tell us. Personally, I think they're just jumping the border to be able to drink better water. Yeah, I'm sure by now they've gotten text messages from relatives telling them just how much better the agua is here. I mean why else would a guy leave his country to come here and pluck chickens in a food processing plant? It damn sure ain't because he loves smelling chicken shit. it has to be that nasty ass Mexican water we've always been hearing about.

We currently have an oil crisis, and gas is costing us out the ass, and there's no end in sight for all of this. Mexico has oil, but yet we import most of our oil and gas from Canada. That sounds ass backwards to me. Our problem is not with Canada, its with oil and Mexico. I say its time we forget about building a fence. Yup. Instead of a fence or deportation, we should cut Canada off, and start importing oil from Mexico along with their dirty water. We'll be able to kill two birds with one stone. Mexico would have more of our dollars; the people would become better off economically, and the illegal Mexicans here would go back home because the water here sucks. In the end, we'll all be happy.

OBESITY, CHINESE FOOD & OILY FARTS

I've been a resident of Memphis Tn for 2yrs now. My city has the dubious distinction, of being the most obese city in the country. Everywhere I go, I see fat people. Hell, since moving here I've picked up 40lbs. Imagine that! I was already a fat bastard, but moving to Memphis sure as hell didn't help. Now I heard the statistic on the local news, which happened to be the result of research via some gov't agency. I don't always believe everything I hear when it comes to statistics, but it was a recent visit to a resturant here that opened my eyes. A couple weeks ago, our family went out to eat. Now mind you, we don't eat out much, so this was a rare event. We went to a resturant thats fairly new around here. The resturant is called "Chow Time", and was discribed in a commercial as the biggest chinese resturant with a buffet in Memphis. Now I love chinese food. Yup, I love it even as much as black men love Bar-B-cue. I don't care if its dog or cat meat being served. At this point, I've eaten the shit enough to not even care if my plate starts barking. I mean, thats how much I love chinese food, and I'm not playing.

So we pull up to this resturant after getting directions on finding it. My first thought upon parking was just how huge this place was. For a resturant, the building was unusually large in my opinion. Right then and there I knew I was gonna be in chinese food heaven. Upon entereing the resturant, I noticed something weird. As I entered the door, I noticed a sign which had the price of the buffet on it. Nothing unusual about that right? Right! Except, at the bottom of the price list it said that there was a mininum charge of $3 for people sitting at tables and not eating. Either these people are offended that somebody would sit there and NOT eat this great food, or they're conscious of the fact that niggas love gettin over. Don't act like y'all ain't never seen people sharing plates at the buffet. You're probably guilty of doing it yourself. I've seen people pay for one plate and feed a family of five before.

But I digest...!

The city of Memphis is about 70% black so it was no surprise to see nothing but black people in this resturant. The place was huge, and there had to be about a good 200 people patronizing the place. What was surprising tho, is that most of the workers were Mexican, and not Chinese. Of course there were black people working there, but the chinese were the minority. I think I only saw probably 3 chinese chicks working there as waitresses. Ironically, the people working the register was neither black nor mexican. So with this many people I just knew the buffet was gonna be off the hook. Wrong! Wrong! The buffet itself had more American food than chinese food. They had, two sections of the buffet dedicated to Soul Food and your basic Amewrican food, and one half ass section with my beloved chinese food. When I looked at the buffet, I could see that there was a constant line. A line at a buffet? WTF?!! Yeah there was a line. All these fat ass, grease drinking black people were lined up for Soul Food. Can you believe that shit? Who the hell goes to a chinese resturant to eat Soul Food? I know they all couldn't be first timers like me and my family. It was only then that I realized just how fat or obese the people in this city are. I swear, I think I even saw a person drinking straight from the ketchup bottle.

But I Digestive tract...!

I gotta lose weight, and get healthier. Currently its something that I'm working on. At my last doctor visit I even asked my doc about using the diet pill Alli. I'm diabetic so I consult with my doctor on everything. He said that it wasn't a good idea to take that pill because of the side effects. He told me that it cause oily farts. Yeah! He said that it makes you shit alot, and when you fart, oil shoots out of your butt. He tried to convince me that a change in diet and excercise is all I needed without the aid of diet pills. I'm still on the fence about the diet pill thing, but I'm sold on not having oily farts. I think I need to move to Madisonville Ohio. Yeah, I'm gonna move there and do nothing but eat Rally's all day long. Just by doing that I'll lose weight. Don't believe me huh? Well you see, in Madisonville Ohio, at this Rally's fast-food outlet they serve crack with their sandwiches (CLICK HERE TO READ STORY). Yeah, this lady bought a fish sandwich, took it home to eat, and found crack on her sandwich. I saw her interviewed on the news about the experience and I have to say that she should have eaten the sandwich. She looked like she could stand to lose a few pounds. As fat as EVERYBODY in this country is, it might not be a bad idea to start spiking our fast food with crack. We'll all lose weight, and we'll do it without oily farts, shit stains, and diarreah from FDA approved Alli.

LINK: TOP 20 OBESE CITIES IN AMERICA

LINK: A REVIEW OF THE ALLI DIET PILL

AMY WINEHOUSE: THE NEXT FAMOUS WHITE PERSON TO DIE

Last week it was Tim Russert. A few days ago it was George Carlin. Next week who's it gonna be? They say death comes in three's, so my vote has to be Amy Winehouse. Yup, white folks are dying yall. Shit, I'm still trippin about how fast they buried Tim Russert. Hell, James Brown wasn't buried till 7yrs after he died because black folks was trippin. Well maybe not "black folks", but more specifically his family.

Not white people though. They usually have shit lined out early. Unlike us, they don't have to argue about who's gonna get uncle Junebug's porn collection, or his TV that sits on the big TV on the floor. Nor do they have to wait for auntie Doritha to finally get there for the funeral. You know there's always an argument as to who should pay for auntie Doritha's Greyhound bus ticket. But with white people you have none of that. Shit, if it wasn't for an autopsy, they'd bury their dead the next day, and fuck all the drama.

But if Amy Whinehouse dies next week, there'd be no need for autopsy. I mean hell, its no secret that she's a crackhead. A more distinguished crackead I might add. The girl has more grammys than Whitney Houston. Say what you want about Whitney, but at least she wasn't a crackhead before she became famous like Amy Winehouse. This chick is 24yrs old, has one album to her credit, and like 100 grammys for refusing to go to rehab. Now aint that some shit? She was a crackhead before she became a star, and was rewarded for it with fame and millions. Most stars pick up drugs along the way. But not Ms. Winehouse.

Hell I know plenty of crackheads around the way who've been smoking for 20 plus years and they have no such luck. But poetic justice is a muthafucka. Amy Winehouse is sitting in a hospital right now with only 70% of her lung capacity according to doctors. A crackhead? At 24yrs old? Who refuses to go to rehab? With millions in the bank?? Sheeeeeiiiiiit! Thats why I say she'll probably die next week. That chick is smoking the best shit over in London, and never having to worry about sucking dick for rocks. The sad thing about it, is that when she dies people are gonna be sad, and she'll be revered like we lost someone with great talent. You know, kinda like they did when that dude from "Broke Back Mountain" died. You know...whats his name...Macauley Culkin. Yeah, folks are gonna act like she wasn't a crackhead before she became famous. Or that her fame was fueled by being a drug abuser in defiance of help. But yet we turn our noses up at our crackhead relatives, and disown them instead of trying to help them.

R. KELLY: WHO'S PEE WAS IT?

So here we are one week past the aquittal of R.Kelly of child pornography charges. Oh yeah, 14 counts of child pornography to be exact. Alot of people are shitty because of the virdict. For the most part, everybody thought that he was guilty. Hell, everybody knew it was him in the tape. The jury themselves never had much doubt as to whether it was him.

He was the celebrity in the tape, and we knew it was him. Thats why he's a celebrity, he's easily recognized. And thats what celebrities want, and thats why millions are spent to market them. Think about it, who wants to be a celebrity without a face. But nobody knew the female in question. She was an alleged 14yr old who was unknownst to the public. A real nobody. She was the alleged child in this case. Hence the child pornography charge for this being a sex act caught on tape.

So who dropped the ball? In my opinion, there was only a ball to be dropped if you believed him to be guilty before even going to trial. But thank God our current judicial system is far different from the COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION. If that was the case, everybody would be guilty and in prison. Lets face it, John Q. Public isn't too kind nor is he objective. And in most cases, the public really doesn't know shit, but yet they run their mouths. Think about all the high profile cases involving celebrities over the years. The celebrities for the most part are assumed to be guilty, and they're almost never given the benefit of the doubt. And we do that because they're celebrities, and for the most part, we wanna see them lose. Yup, we're all haters in that respect. We don't have shit, but we enjoy seeing people lose what they have. Rodney King was a "nobody" caught on tape but we supported him. When those cops were aquitted there were riots in Los Angeles. We all saw him gettin his ass beat by the cops on that tape. But was it really Rodney King?

But this trial hinged on the "nobody". Thats right, the alleged 14yr old. We forgot that it was about her, and focused on R.Kelly. We did that because we wanted to see him go down. Its bad enough that we had to wait 6yrs, but we still wanted to see him fall. But was she really 14yrs old? Was it even her on the tape? I don't know those answers, but those questions were what this case was about. The prosecution carried the burden of proof in this case. It was their job to convince the jury that the "alleged" victim in this case was indeed 14yrs old. From all appearances the prosecution failed. Interviews with jury members revealed that was their point of contention. They were never convinced that the "victim" was ever on the tape, And subsequently, they were unable to return a guilty virdict. Personally now that he's not guilty I think the tape should be formatted and be put on sale like all other celebrity sex tapes. Its not child pornography according to the state of Illinios. Why should Ray J be the only black celebrity with a sex tape gettin all the love?

So here we are, a week later. No riots, no burned out buildings, and no white truck drivers getting a brick upside their heads. R. Kelly walked out of the courtroom a free man. Free to do whatever he wants as limited by the law, and theirs no outrage. No outrage because at the end of the day...NOBODY CARES! This case had nothing to do with race or any other issue that affects us on a grand scale. It was about a celebrity, and a nobody who had sex on tape. Thats it, and thats what it was all about. He was never brought to trial for statutory rape, or anything like that. It was about child pornography. Child pornography is a big no no, but it still exists. You can go to prison for having possesion of child pornography. I saw the tape when it was out and had a copy of it like many people did as well. The tape circulated in the hood as the bootleg tape of the month, and everybody saw it. Never once did anybody question what they were looking at to be child pornography. But yet, they look at R. Kelly as a pedophile.

I've had sex on tape a few times in the past, and did it without any care. Matter of fact, one of the tapes came up missing. I'm just a fat fuck and I'm not a celebrity so who cares. I'm past that phase of my life and I look back at it as some juvenille shit that I got a kick out of. Now that I'm older and wiser, I don't see the attraction in it. Hopefully R. Kelly has changed his mind about having sex on tape anymore. He's getting too old for this shit. But then again, he's like 40yrs old and still rockin braids.

BTW: FREE MYSTIKAL!!!

BARACK OBAMA: LOSING HIS RELIGION

I think its really sad that they have to use race to try and discredit the man. But hey, what else is new here in America. He gave his wife some dap (white folks called it a fist bump) when he won a few weeks ago, and his opponents in the media lost their fuckin minds. All of a sudden they likened the gesture to some terrorist gang sign or some shit like that. But what is it white people do when they meet your black kid for the first time?

"GIMME FIVE!!!"

For the record, I'm an Obama supporter (wow, I think this is the first time I've said this publicly in the blog world), and I am because given the alternative we'd be fucked. Now mind you, as a black man, I do see fellow black voters who blindly support Obama because of his race. Tho I think its clearly not a good practice, I can understand. Black people for the first time in a long time, have something to be proud of. And lets be real, Obama gives us hope. He gives us a sense that in this America (as fucked up as it has been) there has been change, and the possibilities are endless despite ones economic disadvantage. I say economic because today its more so about the rich and the poor, rather than black and white.

But as far as black supporters, I think there is a sense of blindness when it comes to supporting him. Personally, given the historical significance of his candidacy, its as if he's been annointed to be the Jesus of the black population. And that my friends, I see as very scary. In doing so, its as tho he's without judgement. And in the eyes of many black supporters, he's become infallible. Yes, our savior Barack Obama can do no wrong. He was born to a virgin white mother for crying out loud, and he's our best chance for representation at the highest level.

I'm a little different. Althlough I support the man, I do scrutinize him very well. I carefully listen to his speeches. and I've paid close attention to his agenda. He's selling change and I'm listening real close. Its important to listen closely because politicians are tricky like that. But in my support of him, there is one main area of contention for me...his support of Israel. You see, I'm no Muslim nor am I a Christian. But religious belief aside, I DO know racism and oppression when I see it. And when I look at the situation between Israel and Palestine, I see it. I listened to Obama's speech at the AIPAC (American Israel Public Affairs Commitiee) conference a few weeks ago where he pledged his support for Israel and it bugged me....

BARACK OBAMA AIPAC SPEECH 2008

How can a black man support the ongoing oppression of the Pelestinians by the Israeli's? I don't hear too many BLACK PEOPLE questioning this, and it bugs me. Am I the only one?

Obama speaks of change, and yes change is needed. But the U.S. gov't has been Israel's bitch for so long, and our gov't has supported Israel in its terrorism of the Palestinians. When Jimmy Carter decided to have a sit down with those Hezbola cats in an effort to bring peace, the U.S. gov't denounced his actions. I thought that was messed up for them to do that. I mean, are we not supposed to be about peace? Maybe I'm wrong, but for Obama to plegde his support for Israel diplomaticaly, militarilly and otherwise doesn't speak of change. This country has been doing this for years. But yet, Obama says that he's willing to have sit downs with our enemies. Not that its a bad idea to do so (he was heavily criticized for saying that I might add). But how can you say and suggest something like that on one hand, and support Israel on the other?

This is what he supports...

and this is what I don't agree with Obama on. But like I said, I don't hear any black people speaking on this. If this were Africa, maybe it would be different. But hey, the Israeli's supported apartheid in South Africa back in the day, so go figure. I don't know, but I think his speech at the AIPAC conference was his highest form of political pandering to date. Running a close second is him and his family leaving his church. Its a damn shame that he compromised his allegiance to that church to appease a few ignorant white voters. Its pretty fucked up when you have to lose your religion to please others if you ask me.

The question I pose is: What behavior from Candidate Obama would be so egregious that African Americans will move away from their "blind support" and begin to make specific demands in return for the overwhelming support of this group?

Or, are progressive whites, like the right wingers, lying about Candidate Obama?

SMOKING WEED WITH GEORGE CARLIN

When I was a kid (probably about 6yrs old at the time) living in Trinidad, I could remember my uncle Karl hanging out with his buddies in my grandparents back yard. My uncle was a rastafarian and hangout with his friends was what he did often. One day in particular, I could remember him sending me to his room to get this yellow garbage bag from under his bed. Like any innocent kid, upon fetching the big yeallow garbage bag, I peeked in to see the contents. The bag was full of weed. When I say full, I mean full. That was the first time I saw weed up close and personal, and even then, I never knew what it was.

This morning, when I saw that George Carlin died, my initial thought was of weed. Its been 4yrs since I smoked weed, or took any drugs for that matter. But for some reason, thoughts of him brought back memories of some great times. George Carlin was w well known comic who had his battles with drugs over ther years. But for some reason today, I wish I had the chance to smoke weed with him. His brand of comedy definitely left me thinking. So I could only imagine the conversations I could have with him after smoking that high grade shit. You know them white boys kept the good shit; they never smoked that babitt(LOL). In my heart, I know that smoking some weed, and being able to chop it up with George Carlin would've been the shit. Lets be honest, the guy made us laugh and think at the same time. And when it was all over, we all thought some more. Thats the mark of a great comedian, and he sure as hell left his mark on us who were fans.

There are a bunch of people I'd like to smoke weed with. I don't know if any of you ever gave any thought to being able to do that, but I have. Not that I've put together a list or anything. But there are a few people that I could imagine smoking with. I say that, because I've found that weed elevates my conciousness. I dunno but I think many inventions were a result of being high. Just ask the Chia Pet dude, he'll tell ya. I've smoked weed with fellow nerds where we've had some of the deepest discussions. I mean discussions from philosophy, politics, science, culture, to even porn. And these were deep discussions which never ended in arguments. Why? Because we were all on the same plane of conciousness. People can't do that smoking crack or any other drug. Weed on the other hand brings people together.

I'd like to smoke with Ghandi, and have a debate as to why his ass didn't eat more. Shit, that dude was skinny as fuck, running around looking like a crack head in Jesus clothes. I wish I could have smoked weed with the D.C. sniper. That way I can understand what was that nigga thinking. How in the hell you terrorize a population like he did and then get caught because he fell asleep. I wish I could've smoked weed with Rick James....well, just because! He would probably be a cool cat to smoke with but he'd probably get on my nerves talking about himself all the time, and hoggin all the weed. I hated smokin with people like that, but at least with Rick ther'd be chicks around doing freaky shit. And I'm pretty sure Rick banged a midget or two. Old Dirty Bastard would probably have been a good weed buddy, but then again, he'd probably have me in jail on some bullshit. I definitely wished I could have smoked with Bob Marley because that cat was madd deep. But he smoked too much and that woulda been scary. One time back in the day, I smoked rediculous amounts of weed in a two day period with one of my boys trynna impress these chicks from outta town, and I puked. I never thought that would or could ever happen, but it did. So Bob Marley may be a no no.

There are a few of you on here who I could see myself smoking weed with. Not that I know whether you smoke or not. But I just think it could make for some great stories and experiences. I couldn't smoke with Cosmic tho. His fat ass would eat up all the food and blame it on the munchies, and we'd have to fight. Some of you are deep thinkers and sharing a blunt or two would definitely ignite a meeting of the minds. I've noticed that there are alotta intelligent people who smoke weed. I figure if they're as smart as they are, they must know something and it must be nothing wrong with it. Conversely, some of you are dummies, and I would love nothing more but to smoke up all of your weed. Yeah, I can be greedy like that, especially when I'm not the one paying for it. Awww, don't get mad, we'd have a great time.

CRY BABIES, BLOW DRYERS & PERIOD BLOOD

I have witnessed one of the weirdest things in my life recently. A few weeks ago, I noticed that Ashley (my babygirl) gets into these crying modes. Nothing unusual right? I mean, she's a baby and thats what they do, right? Well yeah, kinda, but this was different. You see, it was weird in that she would cry, and cry, and cry for a long ass time, for no apparent reason. Don't get me wrong, I've got it down to a science whenever she normally cries; I know specifically with each cry what her problem might be. But when she gets in this mode, it gets hectic.

One night she was buggin out to the point where I was getting frustrated. I could honestly say that for the first time in my life, I could understand how some parents kill their kids when they can't get them to stop crying. This particular night she had been crying for over an hour non-stop, and when she cries you'd swear that somebody was beatin the shit out of her. I was close to the point of screaming my damn self when Lee (my wife) came to my rescue. We had been taking turns trynna calm her down, so I already knew that she wasn't gonna stop, but I needed a break. After Lee took her, I saw that a lightbulb had been turned on in her head. At that point she said "watch this." She went into the bathroom and walked back out with the hair dryer, plugged it up in the room and turned it on full blast. Observing this, I had no idea what the hell she was doing. But the weird thing, was that Ashley stopped crying and became quiet.

I was shocked! I had never seen anything like that before. C'mon, a hair dryer?!! I was amazed at first, but then I became afraid. I had no idea what the hell had just happened, and I thought it was some Haitian voodoo shit that my wife had just pulled. I was afraid because I saw that movie "The Serpent & The Rainbow" back in the day, and still to this day that voodoo shit scares me. Shit, aint no tellin what she could do to me if she could use her voodoo to make the baby stop cryin. I had an ex once tell me that she put period blood in my food once to be able to keepm me. I thought it was some bullshit, but that bitch put me thru hell and it was hard to break loose from her. So when my wife did her magic trick, I was a lil bit concerned.

She exlained to me that Ashley had a condition nown as COLIC. I'm sure some of you women know all too well about what it is, but this was something all new to me. She explained that it was something that affects babies for which there is no known explanation. She went on to explain that her older daughter (who's now 13yrs old) had the same thing when she was a baby, and she would have to use her vacuum cleaner to make her stop crying. She said it was the white noise that helped them to stop. I learned something that night, and its been useful ever since. Now when she gets in these moods, I just turn on the hair dryer and its all good.

The whole episode has given me a better understanding of people, or more specifically adults. Since I learned about COLIC, I look at it as the explanation for all of the whinney ass people in this world. Now when I encounter people like that offline, instead of tuning them out, or smaking the shit outta them, I now know what to do. The answer lies in white noise folks, and I think I'll start packing a hair dryer everywhere I go to help me in situations like that. The only thing I gotta figure out now is how I can get them close to a bathtub, so I can push them in and toss in the hair dryer while its running. One time I was at the motel with this chick that I had been trynna "get with" for a long time. We had been out on dates, but it was finally time to do the damn thing. After having what she called mind blowing sex for a few hours, she started to cry, and cry uncontrollably. It was at that point that I decided that it was time to go. She said she felt guilty that she had sex with me because she had a fiance, and thats why she was crying. Now that I think of it, we fucked around with each other for about two years after that all while she was engaged. I think she lied, I think she had colic.