No Mo' Bacon, No Mo' Sausage?

I haven't been to church in a very, very, very long time. Suffice it to say, I'm not a very religious, or spiritual person. However, like anything, stuff pops in and out of my head from time to time of this nature. From what I've been told, heaven is supposed to be a really cool place. I don't know about you, but I don't think living in a place forever singing and praising the lord for eternity is exactly the life. I mean, personally I can only stand being in church for a couple hours. Honestly, I don't understand why it takes some churches all day to do the lords work; anything past 12 noon is a bore, but I digress.

Heaven, though boring sounding in my mind, from all descriptions has to be better than hell. Which brings me to another point or thought: if there was no hell, would heaven be as groovy? Seriously, let me know what you think about that one. But back to heaven. Everything is supposed to be perfect, and all of our ailments are supposed to be removed. Yup, no fake boobs or scars in heaven. Uh huh, no ugly people either. We hear all these great things about the place, but yet we never hear if we're able to have sex in heaven.

Is there sex in heaven?

I mean seriously, this is something I'd like to know. Not trying to be funny, but here on earth, sex sells. It would only seem natural since we all love sex so much, that the ability to have sex would be another one of those selling points in Christianity. I mean think about it, in Islam they get to go to paradise and have sex with virgins. Or at least that's what they're told. That said, is it any wonder why there's a small segment of extremists who are willing to be suicide bombers?

Seriously, all jokes aside, until someone can tell me if I can have sex in heaven, sleeping with virgins, if my wife isn't there, sounds like a not so bad idea. I mean, I've masturbated enough here on earth, it would be a shame if something like that had to continue in heaven. Not only would it be messed up that I'd have to resort to being a part-time chicken choker, and God praiser. It would be really sad if there'd be no more breakfast. Hopefully breakfast is replaced by early morning sex in heaven. I ain't gonna lie, early morning sex is the bomb son!

Is there sex in heaven?

This lady doesn't seem too enthused about heaven... I wonder why?

Singing Your Song: An African Custom

When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes out into the wilderness with a few friends and together they sing, chant, and meditate until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When the women attune to the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else.

When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child's song to them. Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child's song. When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of marriage, the person again hears their song.

Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and friends gather at the person's bed, just as they did at their birth, and they sing their song as a part of "being with" them at the very end.

In this African tribe, there is one other occasion when it is customary for the villagers to gather and sing a person's song to them. If at any time during their life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around yon. Then they sing their song.

The tribe recognizes that the best correction for problematic behavior is often not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song being sung by your own community, whatever threat to your self that may have motivated angry, destructive, or chaotic action is diminished; your identity is reaffirmed and your self regains its cohesiveness; you remember who you are and why you do not wish to cause hurt to members of your own tribe.

A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.

When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song; when you feel awful, it doesn't. You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions. Yet, even the strongest self requires recognition and validation to remain strong and cohesive. One of the reasons for knowing your song, is to have a community that can help you remember when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not.

In the end, you need to recognize your song and sing it as only you can. You may feel a little "warbly" at times, but so do we all. Remember that no human is an island: at times, everyone needs help to remember their song and to sing it well. Just keep singing until we catch the tune and can sing along. Don't worry! With a little help, you'll find your way home.

HOLD UP!

[insert ugly record scratch here]

Ok, the last thing I want is for you the reader to think I'm on some preachin' shit, and trynna be deep, and sending a message from the words written above. Hell naw, that's the last thing I wan't y'all to think. Instead, I'm just gonna drop some real ignorant shit like the stuff in the video below. Don't get it twisted, there's no message in the video, nor is there a connection between it and the words expressed above.

Roll clip...

Does This Qualify As A Sexual Assault or Domestic Violence

Ok, so I'm trying to contain myself from fits of laughter as I type this. Yes, to me its that funny. Well, see the guy in the pic above? His name is Antwan L. Grandberry, and he's 19yrs old. Yeah, that's a mug shot. Uh huh, that means this story involves someone - more than likely him - going to jail.

So why are you laughing at a Black man going to jail RiPPa? And hell, just from your title, it sounds like its a sexual assault case! Ain't nothing funny about that!

Well, yeah, you're right, ain't nothing funny about a sexual assault. Nope, rape is a serious crime, and it is nothing to be taken lightly or to be laughed at.

So why are you laughing RiPPa?

Because this dude is in jail for punching his mother in the face.

Well that ain't funny either RiPPa!

I know, it's not, but that's not the funny part. See, Antwan found time to pleasure himself in his backyard and his mom peeked out the window and caught him. Yup, this Negro was jerkin off in the backyard. Why, and how, I have no idea. But Antwan was doing the old knuckle shuffle on his piss pump. Seems like he was so seriously into his strokes that when she busted him, he zipped up his pants, ran around the house and punched her in the face. How you gon' just punch yo momma in the face like that Antwan?

I don't know about you, or this guy, but I love my mother. Matter of fact, if my mom caught me jerkin off, the embarrassment alone would probably make me cry. But to punch her in the face? That just makes me wonder who in the fuck was he having a fantasy about while he was doin his thing. Somebody needs to find out and warn that person. Damn right they do. Because if this Negro could punch his momma for interrupting his chicken choking action, he damn sure might be a stalker or rapist in training if not prevented. Lets just hope he had a farm animal on his mind at the time.

source

have you ever been caught masturbating or having sex?

You Look So Dumb Right Now

You know, us Black folks are a trip. We cheer for O.J. Simpson when he beat his murder rap, but we boo R. Kelly when he beat his child molestation charges. Ok, maybe that wasn't exactly where I meant to go with that one. Yeah, fuck R. Kelly and his non-potty trained ass and his fetish for 14yr old girls.

Ok, lemme try this again.

We talk shit about Chris Brown and all wanna beat his ass for beating up Rihanna, but nobody says jack about Gospel singer BeBe Winans getting arrested for flipping out on his ex-wife, and beating her down when he went to pick up his kids, at her house.

Uh huh, and now, people are talking shit about Rihanna because she has decided to reconcile with Chris Brown and get back together. Hell, even Oprah with her ass is on the bandwagon. Didn't that bitch beat Harpo's ass back in the day? And stayed with his simple ass?

Ok, yeah, so it was only a movie; I understand. But back to my point: We ridicule Rihanna for still wanting to be with Chris, but yet we supported Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston and their dysfunctional union for years. Now ain't that a trip Black people?

Rihanna is silly for standing by her man, but it was acceptable for Whitney to stay married to Bobby and have fights over who's hiding the last crack rock? And lets not mention all of Bobby Brown's arrests. Speaking of which, WTF is up with these Negroes with the last name Brown? Master Brown musta been a muthafucka! Hell even the great Jim Brown slapped his woman around some years ago.

At any rate, I wanted to share something from a fellow blogger that goes by the name Verbal X from the blog V's Spot. I thought it to be a very good blog in response to the situation. I happen to agree with pretty much everything he has to say on this. I'd like you to check it out and lemme know what you think. Don't be afraid to disagree; nobody's gonna assault you for it; my last name isn't Brown.

In Defense of Chris Brown and Rihanna

By Verbal X

I got into this debate last night about the reports that Chris Brown and Rihanna are back together after he threw some blows on her. Of the people that I was arguing with, not one of them was content that the two were trying to work things out.

Except one person.

Me.

So of course, I came off as the bad guy, because it looked like I was okay with him beating up his woman.

I'd like to take this moment to publicly defend myself and the couple, knowing good and damn well I'm probably in the minority.

First off, I'm not cool with beating up your woman. Let me make that crystal clear. If a woman puts you in the position where you even think about what it would be like to leave your handprint on her face (let alone actually doing it), you shouldn't be in that relationship. Had he done that to anyone in my family or any of my friends, he wouldn't be singing or dancing anymore. Maybe he'd be limping instead and sounding like a smoker who has that machine attached to their throat after I was done with him. But that's not the point.

That said, I'm going to say it like this - if Rihanna wants to work it out with him, more power to her. If not, that's completely understandable too. But there isn't a person on this planet, man or woman, and at least at this point in THEIR relationship, that should feel like berating her for HER choice. I'll give you three big reasons that we should stay the f*ck out of their lives.

1) How many of you people have ever cheated on your boo? Go on... raise your hands. No one will see you. Now... how many of you wish like hell that you never did that? Still holding your hands up I see... good. Now how many of you are so glad that your hunny took you back after you f*cked up? Wow... no hands went down. Surprising. Guess what? You are now in the same boat as Chris Brown. Whether it's cheating, smacking your man or woman, stealing his or her sh*t, plain old actin a fool or whatever... he f*cked up to the level that his relationship should/could end, and you've been there too. And he knows he f*cked up. And because he's human, just like EVERYONE else, he's bound to f*ck up in his life. Jeez, Chris is only 19 and she JUST turned 21... both young and still learning! Just because he f*cks up doesn't mean that he shouldn't be forgiven and should remain in a life of solitude. None of us were there when it happened or have the back-story, so just accept the fact that both he and Rihanna are mortal people who make emotional decisions too... not all of which are the smartest. And EVERYONE deserves a second chance at some point in their lives. We are not the ones to decide which people should or should not get them.

2) Speaking of them being human, why the hell do we put celebrities on a f*cking pedestal? They have money. Our kids sing their songs. They smiled when we asked for an autograph. He looks great in the new Calvin Klein ad. So what?? The tiny bit we know about celebrities is just that - a tiny bit. We don't know what they're really like, so we shouldn't assume that just because a m*thaf*cka dances with the Cheetah Girls on the Disney Channel, he should be held to a moral standard far above any that we are already on. Celebrities are just as likely to be addicts, nymphos, pyros, cleptos, or woman beaters as anyone else. Just get over yourselves, and realize that he's a celebrity, but first and foremost, he's a person too... for better or worse. Shame on anyone who thought for a second that he, or any other celebrity, was on a higher plain than the rest of us and are judging them accordingly. You should be publicly beaten for that.

3) We don't know the whole story. Period. And, again, I don't say that to condone what he did. But we really don't. And we shouldn't know the story, because it's not our business (i.e. f*ck the media for making them stars, then bringing them down the way that they've tried). We don't know if Chris Brown has a history of smacking women, or if it was his first time. We don't know if Rihanna has a history of relationships with woman-beaters, or if it was her first time. We don't know if there was a text message that started the whole thing... and if there was, we don't know what it said. All we can do is assume from the tiny little fragments of information that have come out. And since we don't know the whole story, we don't know why she's taking him back. All we should do is live our own damn lives without passing judgment on others, even if the others in the spotlight make it really easy for us to judge them.

Here's my message to the two - you both have issues just like the rest of the world. I hope that both of you are able to move past this ugly mess as stronger people - and I don't care if you do it with or without each other. Just please realize that violence isn't needed and that it shouldn't be tolerated. Stop reading the papers that judge your actions and just do the best that you can do.

READ MORE FROM VERBAL X HERE

Things That Make Me Cry

I'm sad right now. Yes I am. From time to time I get sad, and yes I cry. What, you thought I am just this happy go lucky kinda guy? Hell, I care when people don't like me, or talk about me behind my back. I care when a kind gesture I go out of my way to extend is met with contempt. It makes me sad so I cry. I laugh a lot, but I also cry a lot. Matter of fact, sometimes I curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep in my dark walk-in closet.

Oftentimes, its my own people who make me cry. Sure, I get enraged at some of the stuff they do, but sometimes, the pain is too much to bear so I cry. Today, I cry for Michael Steele. Yes, republican RNC Chairman Michael Steele. You see, last time I wrote about him, I was kinda pissed off. I didn't even wanna write about this guy again; not so soon anyway, but I can't help it; I'm sad

Yeah, he played the whole boot-licking Negro role in his apology to Rush Limbaugh. And just like I said back then, he makes Black people look bad because he's not doing his job. And low and behold after that episode, I find this picture of him here on the Internet....

*sniff, sniff*

I'm pretty sure even Jesus wept about this

Lord Jesus, first the Fat Boys break up and now this! Just when all images of coonery have been erased since the cancellation of Flavor of Love, I find this shit. The happy Minstrel thing is sooo not a good look. Then to top it all off, I read this interview with GQ's Lisa DePaulo. Yup, just when I thought this Negro was going to stay out of the limelight and get on his job, he decides once again to embarrass me.

And this was from the very beginning of the interview:

I was kinda expecting hip-hop to be playing in here today.

Aw, sh—. It’s on my, uh, computer there. I haven’t pulled it up yet, but I’ll get a little bit goin’ in a second or two.

Who do you listen to?
I actually listen to a cross section, because I like to hear what the medium is saying, what the voice is.

But do you have a favorite?
P. Diddy I enjoy quite a bit.

Do you want to rethink that?
[laughs] I guess I’m sorta old-school that way. Remember, I came of age with the DJ and all this other stuff, so I’m also loving Grandmaster Flash, and that’s not hip-hop, but… Um, you know, I like Chuck D. And I always thought Snoop Dogg was—he just reminded me of the fellas back home. So I’ve always thoroughly enjoyed him.

Ok, so obviously this guy took the bait on the hip hop thing and his mention of using hip hop to help sell the republican brand (i.e. republican Affirmative Action for the Negro vote). But, err, umm, does he really want me to believe that he listens to Snoop Dogg? Ok, I could understand him throwing the name Chuck D out there. I mean hell, he was just on D.L. Hughley's show with Chuck D.

Shit, if I remember correctly, he even insulted the man by assuming he grew up in the projects. Of course Chuck corrected his Black ass by letting him know he grew up in Long Island New York. Yeah, but he likes Chuck D. and enjoys Snoop Dogg? Hell if he thinks those White people in the party are going for that he's a damn lie. Matter of fact, from what I read here over at Soujourner's Place, there's a chance that they just might vote his Black ass out at their next Klan meeting.

And then the interview continues as the interviewer asks about his other musical loves:

Who else?
I like Sinatra. I like old-school. You know, Bing Crosby, Sinatra, Dean Martin. Love Dean Martin. He was one of these guys who just didn’t give an F. He just didn’t. Life was a party, and you either want to party or you don’t. But yeah, I like those. I’m a big Pack Rat. I love the Pack Rats from the 1950s—Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Frank Sinatra, those guys.

You mean the Rat Pack.
The Rat Pack, yeah.

Did this Negro just call Dean, Sammy, and Frank The Pack Rats? Oh yeah, his ass is definitely fukin gone now. I wasn't even alive or around back in the heyday of those guys, but even a real hip hop head like myself knows they were called The Rat Pack. I mean, I used to listen to DJ Red Alert on Kiss FM every Saturday night listening to hip hop when I was younger and in Brooklyn NY, and even I knew who the hell The Rat Pack was.

But this Negro has obviously photo shopped his ass into the republican party and forgot to read the handbook. You don't insult icons like those guys and call them The Pack Rats Michael Steele and expect them White folks to show you love!

Now the interview went on from there and went into some pretty cool stuff. Hell, he almost convinced me that he was still Black by even hitting on some issues of race and racism in this country. Yeah, for a second there he had me convinced, up until where he said that he was never emotional when Barack Obama was sworn in as this countries first Black president.

I'm sorry, but I don't care what your politics are, but as a Black man, Obama's political success had to have an effect on you. How dare this prick say this. The messed up thing is that if it wasn't for Barack Obama, his ass wouldn't even be where he's at as RNC Chairperson. But don't tell his silly ass that though.

My guess is that he was saying that shit to make his people like him or not be mad at him for insulting their cultural icons. If that's what he was trying to do, he definitely screwed the pooch after he said this:

How much of your pro-life stance, for you, is informed not just by your Catholic faith but by the fact that you were adopted?
Oh, a lot. Absolutely. I see the power of life in that—I mean, and the power of choice! The thing to keep in mind about it… Uh, you know, I think as a country we get off on these misguided conversations that throw around terms that really misrepresent truth.

Explain that.
The choice issue cuts two ways. You can choose life, or you can choose abortion. You know, my mother chose life. So, you know, I think the power of the argument of choice boils down to stating a case for one or the other.

Are you saying you think women have the right to choose abortion?
Yeah. I mean, again, I think that’s an individual choice.

You do?
Yeah. Absolutely.

Umm, Michael Steele...you done fucked up the church's money. How in the world are you going to be the RNC Chairperson, and go against one of the central tenets or beliefs of the republican party?? Last time I checked, republicans were bashing Barack Obama or liberals/democrats for being pro-choice. So like, err, umm, how you gonna explain that one to the rest of your homies Mr. Steele?

Nigga, nigga, nigga...you fuckin up bigtime!

That's your ass Mr. Postman!

Oh yeah, I called you nigga because you're hip hop now; uh huh, that's how they talk. Even if they don't want your Black ass anymore, you're still my nigga. And you know it's bad when fellow Black republicans are calling for you to step down. It's a damn shame that this man is even an embarrassment to them. Yup, all four of them in the entire party.

You see, that's why I'm crying for Michael Steele. Us Black folks are a forgiving people, and once this is all over, even though we might not invite him to the cookout, we're still gonna have love for him because he's Black. Thats right, just like that confused cousin who talks all that pro-black shit and dates nothing but White women, we'll talk about him. Yes we will.

But just as soon she cries rape on his Black ass, we'll still be there to support him. Don't worry Mr. Steele, we cheered for O.J. when he got off back in the day, and he ain't been Black since 1968. Just remember that just in case you decide to come to the Dark side in the future for real.

You can read the entire interview HERE

Blog Wars: When Keeping It Funky Goes Wrong

Don't you hate when you watch Judge Judy, People's Court, Judge Joe Brown, or one of those court shows on TV and you see someone suing someone for some dumbshit? You know, like the people you see on Divorce Court from time to time who are vindictive? You know, the people who for whatever reason are going through a divorce, but they take their partners to court for something stupid like the Shrek 2 DVD? These idiots are a waste of time. Entertaining maybe, but still a waste of time. I can't help but to think most of them just wanna get on TV. Real people doing real things don't waste time and money in court over simple and silly shit.

For example? Did you know that there is currently a blogger being sued by another blogger? Uh huh, I don't know if you've heard about this, but it's true. As a matter of fact, the blogger being sued happens to be a personal friend of mine. To give you full disclosure, if it wasn't for the urging of my friend, this page would not exist. Yup, and I've known her for almost three years now, and it was through blogging we met. So why is she getting sued? Well, its not like she has stolen another blogger's material subject to copyright protection or anything like that. Nope, none of that blog jackin shit. The name of her blog is Fungke Blak Chik, and she's being sued by another blogger who's blog is called Funky Brown Chick. Uh huh, the Brown chick is claiming exclusivity to the Funk.

Now ain't that some dumb shit? That is about as stupid as Coca Cola filing a lawsuit against Pepsi because their product is similar in color. Or Trojans suing Lifestyle because their condoms are latex like theirs. The funny thing about it all, is that the Brown Chick, is saying that she felt the need to file a lawsuit to protect her brand. Brand? The fuck??!! What store shelf are you on lady? Look, I know that there have been some bloggers who have been successful enough with their blogs to parlay it into book deals and such, but is it really that serious?

I just never knew people took this blog shit that serious. Personally, I find it to be self centered and dare I say narcissistic. I mean, what's the fucking big deal? Funky Black Chik has not stolen anything from her, and they do not even share the same content. She claims that the similarity in name can be confusing to her readership. Well damn, if it has to get that confusing, then I guess your shit just ain't that good.

I mean, as a person who loves reading blogs, I must say it has to be hard for me to get Angry Black Bitch confused with Angry Black Woman. I mean, you don't see either one of them suing each other now do you. Field Negro is on e of my favorite b loggers on here, and hell he's an attorney. Do you see him suing the blogger who owns the blog Assimilated Negro, Uppity Negro or even Angry Negro? Hell no you don't.

You don't see any of them suing each other. Hell, I even think its really cool how Nat Turner's Revenge supports Aunt Jemima's Revenge. But no, instead, Funky Brown Chick has an attitude and delusions of grandeur. Sure she does. That's the only way somebody is gonna sue another person for some shit like this. That plus maybe being an attention whore.

If you wanna know the truth. Funky Brown Chick is just shitty because she emailed Fungke Blak Chik and asked her to stop using the name. Oh yeah, she did this only five days after registering her name as Funky Brown Chick with the United States Patent & Trademark office (read it here). Umm, how in the fuck you gonna form your mouth to ask someone to do such when they themselves have their own domain with their own name. Umm, can a domain name be subject to copyright laws or protection? I mean hell, how in the world can their ever be duplicate domain names?!!

What's even funnier, is that Funky Brown Shoe's application for trademark was only approved on March 7th 2009. Now ain't that a bitch? You wanna run out and sue her for what? Hell, the application wasn't even approved when she filed suit. Is her page named Funky Brown Chick as well? The hell if it is. She has been Fungke Blak Chik and the similarity in name is only coincidental.

My guess is that in this bad economy Funky Brown Housecoat has money to throw away. I mean hell, it ain't like she's Perez Hilton or anybody like that making that kind of money from her blog. Damn lady, MTV doesn't even know you exist, and neither does America! But now your attorneys are requesting full control of the domain and blog Fungke Blak Chik? Hell, not too long ago all she wanted was for the name to be discontinued, but now you want ownership?

Well, do what you can to compensate for possibly being a latchkey child short on attention. I wish you the best of luck. Fuck it, since you're so large, you might as well put up some money and buy the damn site. Oh my bad, I forgot, you work at a museum in New York like the rest of us regular folks. I just hope she doesn't read this and sue me for using her name in this post.

Michelle Obama Feeds The Homeless And The Right Wing Loons Hate Poor People

First Lady Michelle Obama visited a soup kitchen that feeds the homeless not too far from the White House a few days ago. The place is called Miriam's Kitchen, and its known to serve 300 people everyday, mostly men. The center also has a volunteer staff of 1,200 people.

Upon her visit, Mrs. Obama presented a donation of food collected by White House Staff employees. Given our failing economy, with people losing homes and struggling to put food on the table, one has to conclude this as a very nice and welcomed gesture. But not so fast, not everyone sees it this way.

As usual, right wing conservatives are using the pic above as an opportunity to bash president Obama's economic policy, and liberalism in general. Instead of their focus being on the obvious need for community activism, volunteerism, and service, they're concerned about the gentleman in the pic above possessing a cell phone. That's right folks, forget about the 300 people this center feeds per day being only blocks away from The White House. Or the fact that people are struggling to maintain; never mind that. Instead, the question from them is: How can a person be homeless and have a cell phone?

Here's an example from the blog of the great oxygen thief known as Michelle Malkin:

"In D.C., the homeless are just like you and me, and they have cell phones, they have cell phones.

Via Andrew Malcolm, here is one of the homeless cell phone owners snapping a pic of First Lady Michelle Obama — ruining what was supposed to be a sob story photo op of the compassionate Mrs. O catering to the downtrodden.

Say cheese!

Some folks are wondering where the cell phone bills get sent.

The answer is obvious: ACORN headquarters."

source

That's right folks, and the insanity doesn't just stop there. Here is what was said in an article in the LATimes by writer Andrew Malcolm. This is actually the piece that sparked this whole thing:

"these news photos were widely distributed across the country and even around the world.

It doesn't detract from the first lady's generous gesture or the real needs she seeks to highlight to ask two bothersome journalistic questions about these news photos:

If this unidentified meal recipient is too poor to buy his own food, how does he afford a cellphone?

And if he is homeless, where do they send the cellphone bills?"

source

But, but, but, wait...it gets worse! Here's another exceprt from another right wing nutjob Kathy Shaidle of the blog "Five Feet of Fury":

"Today's "poor" are the rich Jesus warned you about: fat, slovenly, wasteful of their money and other people's.

I prefer to call them "the broke."

A lot of (really naive) people are wondering (or pretending to wonder, when they're in public) how this "homeless" guy could "afford" a cellphone:

It would be better phrased: why is a guy with a cellphone homeless? Because then the question answers itself.

He spends all his (our) money on cellphones and, most likely, tattoos and drugs and booze and other crap, and has no money left for a home and food. And why should he bother? We pay for his shelter and food anyhow."

source

And yet people wonder why the republican party is out of touch. It's this very mindset which is responsible for the virtual ass whoopin they received at the polls last November. But I guess they've got their heads so far up their asses to see what's really happening in this country. Somebody needs to tell the small minded midget who wrote that last bit above what's really going on.

These are the same people who criticize president Obama's Rescue & Recovery Program for the economy, and applaud republican governors for refusing to accept any federal funds from said program. That's right, the same funds which could provide much needed extensions on unemployment assistance and food stamps for citizens who are trying to stay alive without having to stand in line at a soup kitchen.

Yup, these same assholes were quick to support the give away of $750 billion without question to banks upon the urgency of Bush & Company, but are questioning poor people having cell phones? Hell, who's to say this guy in the pic above was in fact a homeless person. And even if he was, what the hell is wrong with him having a cell phone. Must the poor lose all sense of dignity before a hand is outreached to them? And hell, I thought this was about community service and volunteerism. How the hell did it become about them spending tax payer dollars?

What I find rather ironic, is that this criticism is coming from these fear mongering, war loving ass clowns on the right, when there are approximately 250,000 homeless veterans who sleep on the streets and shelters every damn night. Hell, I don't know the guy in the pic, but chances are he just might be a veteran. Now wouldn't that be a bitch if he was?

And even if he was, and was actually homeless, wouldn't it be a good idea that he had a cell phone if not anything else in trying to find a job? Apparently that's not a good idea either to Michelle Malkin and her com padres. According to Ms. Malkin, "slum dwellers" like the lady she wrote about in this piece right here, should not have 60 inch television sets in their homes. That said, how dare they have cell phones?!! Oh well, if today's "poor" are the rich Jesus warned us about, I wonder who were the rich people he was talking about back then. Surely they couldn't have been republicans.

Booty Implants?!! You Gonna Put What In Your Buttcheeks?!!!

Look, it's no secret that men love looking at a woman with a fat ass. Sure, some men are addicted to titties, but don't let them fool you, they love a fat ass. It would seem that women go to extraordinary lengths to acquire said fat booty.

Recently a Florida woman was arrested for selling fake booty injections designed to "allegedly" increase the size of a woman's butt. Turns out this woman wasn't even a doctor. Two women she injected ended up in the hospital in critical condition. I don't know about you, but I'd be damned if I go to some quack who operates out of their momma's kitchen for any procedure.

But I guess women would go to any lengths to become aesthetically pleasing to the eyes of others. Countess Vaughn pictured above got her a new booty. I' not hatin', but she has money to throw away like that. Me? I think regular people, or women who do this type of stuff are kinda crazy. My motto is, if you can't buy it at Walmart, you don't need it. And I have yet to see the house that Sam built with a booty implant department.

But thanks to hip hop, the fat ass is something that is beholden. You can say how misogynistic hip hop may be, but hey, if it wasn't for hip hop, there'd be no "Baby Got Back", and hence, White women in pursuit of that elusive fat ass. Well, here's a situation down in Knoxville Tn that you guys have to check out. It's a clear case of when the pursuit of the fat ass goes wrong...

Wasn't that shit nasty looking they way she was jiggling it? Did you see how hard it was for the news anchor to control his laughter? If this woman was hoping to attract a man by doing what she did, I'd say she failed horribly. I swear if she was my woman and she came home with that droopy ass booty, I'd laugh in her face. Ok, so that's probably mean, and you guys may say I should support whatever my woman does. But fuck that! I would never encourage my woman or any woman I'm involved with to do some shit like that.

"Say baby, when I hit it from the back your ass bone be killin my pelvic region when they smash. Matter of fact, if this keeps up, I'm probably gonna have to have pelvis replacement surgery. Could you go out and get some jiggle implanted into your non-booty having self? Me love you long time!"

Hell, I don't understand the whole cosmetic surgery thing. Well, that's unless you're making your penis longer or your vagina smaller and tighter that is. Other than that, anything outside of fixing a cleft palate, or fixing that hunchback of Notre Dame thing is ridiculous.

The only people who should venture into procedures like this should be people who work in the sex industry. You know, like strippers and pornstars? If you're a mom, or a woman working a regular 9 to 5, and not getting paid to be looked at, why even waste your money? Or worse, why even risk your life?

The messed up thing, is that this woman paid $5,500 for this procedure. Hopefully she didn't have to take out a loan for this. But then again, maybe it's a good thing if she did. That way since her dumb ass hates the way it turned out, she can default on the payments and have her implant repossessed. I have no idea why women do this, or who is to blame. Has our society become so male dominated that in an attempt to compete, women would risk their lives?

SOURCE

Even Bill Cosby Approves

Why Should It Be Wrong For Gay & Lesbian Couples To Adopt? Your Choir Director's Probably Gay Anyway!

I don't know if this story would get enough national traction as California's proposition 8 last fall, but it should. In the state of Kentucky, currently there's a proposed bill that would impose a ban on foster care of children in homes of gay couples, and or couples unmarried but cohabitating of the opposite sex. The Bill has as proposed is known as the "Child Welfare Adoption Act". One has to wonder if the welfare of the children are truly the concern here.

You may say foster care is no big deal, but the ban itself would have a direct impact on adoptions of children in that state. Now I don't know how many kids are adopted or waiting to be adopted in Kentucky, but I do know that per this release, a ban would cost the state about $5 million dollars in the first year, should it become law. In these economic times, it would seem to be a pretty noble feat to still want to adopt kids - kids in need of some form of permanence by way of a home.

That said, I think the ideological thinking of the religious fundamentalist should be superseded by the need to provide homes for these kids. Who cares if a couple is *gay. Seems like if they've met state mandated standards of care, that this would not be an issue. Isn't it time for us to stop allowing old world ideas to shape our lives, and invariably the lives of our children?

*According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, there is no credible scientific evidence that the sexual orientation of parents has any effect either on the quality of parenting or on the wellbeing of their children. (source)

What say you?

Michael Steele: The Defacto Negro

I'm gonna go ahead and say that Rush Limbaugh was right when he blasted Michael Steele For saying what he said on D.L. Hugley's show on CNN.

What, you're gonna agree with that racist pig Rush Limpballs?!! Say it ain't so RiPPa; tell me you ain't sellin out on us dawg!!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, RiPPa hasn't sold out nor will he ever sellout. Well, that's not for free at least, and none of you are paying me. Besides, I'm the De-facto Negro leader around these-a-here blog parts.

But what he said about the brother was wrong RiPPa.

Ok well, yeah, he did kinda call him out and told him to play his position. Uh huh, he did kinda make the Chairman of the RNC sound like the resident shoe shine boy. That he did, and yes it was insulting. But alas, all is fair in love, war and politics, unless you start drawing pictures of monkeys getting shot by cops in the newspaper. Besides, Steele with his uppity ass deserved to be blasted for assuming that Chuck D. of the rap group Public Enemy (who was also on the show) was from the projects. How you gonna bring your party back hip hop style when you insult one of the fathers of conscious hip hop, and voices of Black political activism?

Now I'm not a Republican, nor do I have a vested interest in the success of the republican party. But I was a little bit disappointed by Michael "Who's The Boss" Steele in his quick apology to Limbaugh. Yeah, it only took him 51 minutes after he received that steel toe boot to the balls from Rush, to get on his knees in a "I's sorry massa" kinda way with his apology. Yeah, that kinda bothered me. Why? Because it makes us Black people look bad. But then after I read this article over at Politico, I could understand Steele's brand of republican fellatio.

"Steele does not have a chief of staff, a political director, a finance director or a communications director. Last week, one of the two men sharing the job of interim finance director was forced to resign. For now, “the fourth floor,” as the RNC’s executive suite is known, is being run by a pair of consultants. “There’s frustration that there’s no discipline, no planning,” said a well-known Republican consultant. “He’s risking being overexposed by accepting every interview, which makes gaffes more likely.” " - source: politico.com

(If you click the link above you can read the entire story; a lot of people are not happy with him)

So yeah, that's why Steele was quick to slob the Limbaugh knob. Fact of the matter is: his ass hasn't been doing his job. Yup, and Rush in his rebuttal to him, pretty much exposed his ass. That's another reason or another way Steele makes us Black people look bad. How you gonna talk smack and be on TV when you sleeping on the job Michael Steele?

It's bad enough that people of color, particularly Black folks are perceived as lazy, unorganized, and intellectually inferior to non-minorities. Yup, that's bad enough. And here is Steele forgetting his color. I'm guessing he took that Michele Bachman, "You Da Man" line a bit too far. I'm thinking he's let it go to his head. I'm guessing he thought he could run around talking shit, and forgot that "them white folks" in the party didn't give him the keys to the city that is conservatism.

He obviously has forgotten that even with Affirmative Action, Negroes still have to run faster, jump higher and out perform pretty much anyone to get the pat on the back. It's bad enough that he's being questioned for "allegedly" donating other people's campaign money to his sister's business a few years ago. Even worse, it's bad enough that he's Mike Tyson's ex brother-in-law; yeah, that one messed me up too when I found out. Did he think that "them people" were just gonna open their arms up to him, and he has yet to offer a clear cut strategy as to how he's going to revive a party that has all but lost it's way?

Instead, he want's to beat his chest and proclaim himself to be the leader of the party. The hell is wrong with that Negro? Leaders lead by example fool! Get on your job. Hell, Benson didn't even do that in the governors mansion. Instead, unlike Michael Steele, Benson DuBois knew his role. And that my friend, is the reason why I say Rush was right. Did Steele think all those rednecks were gonna give him love like they did Mandingo with a big penis fresh off the slave ship?

Hopefully, Steele gets the message and gets to work. His success as chairman may not be as important as Barack Obama's economic policy is to the country. I'm guessing it is probably as important to republicans for their future return to prominence. But in closing, as a Black man, its more important to us, that he not look like an ass and make us look bad the way he has in such a short time. For his sake, I hope he understands that even the House Negroes in Massa Charlie's big house got their ass whipped on occasion.