GOD LOVES BOOTY

Being someone who all around thinks too much, I wanted to share something that I've been tossing around in my head for the last couple of days. The idea that, somewhere on this planet, at this very moment, someone is doing something. It doesn't matter what it is you can think of, odds are, whatever it is, somewhere on this globe, somebody's doing it!!!! That just floors me. The idea that right now, in different parts of the globe, or possibly all in one specific city, someone is being born, someone is dying, someone is being conceived, someone is being robbed, someone is getting peed on during sex and enjoying it...hell, somewhere, right this very moment, a dude is telling a chick, "Baby you know I love you, that girl in there on the bed is a Jehova Witness that jus stopped by and we were jus praying!!"

IN THOSE EXACT WORDS!

IN ANOTHER TIME ZONE!!!!

IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE!!!!

And speaking of cheating, I've heard some excuses given when busted. My ex-wife for example cheated on me a number of times, and was never able to give me an excuse that made me think....ummm ok?!?! And to me thats the problem with cheating. I mean the thought of your man/woman being buttnaked with somebody else hurts enough. But then to confront the situation, and hear "the story" hurts even more. I think its at this point where some murders are decided. Now let me be clear....I have no intentions of cheating on my wife ever. Other than being in love with her, she's too smart anyway. I swear I think she works for the C.I.A. , and I doubt wether I'd be able to pull it off. She's also very spiritual, so lets say that I did cheat. Do you guys think she'd go for this story....

"I didn't cheat! And you know what, there were no physical relations, you know why? Because I wore a condom! That's right, not cheating because nothing is touching! I've never cheated, my mind is on you. That's right, I thought about you the whole time. She had my body, so what? You got my mind. All right, you think I'm full of shit and you're angry. It's not my fault. If you want to get angry, blame God, he made us in his image. Apparently, God is one horny dude. And an ass man. Only God could have created that curvaceous spectacle, the way they start from the back and form two perfect orbs...God is good! I'm getting off topic. Point is, it's not my FAULT that "He" wants me to get laid. So it's godly, I'm not cheating, I'm with you, and you're stuck with me!!"

I gotta admit it does sound pretty logical! I know you guys agree with me....right?