And how could I possibly have knownthat all my martial arts
would fail me
against the flowers and the laughter
that were your forward troops,
the outstretched heart
of your army?
would fail me
against the flowers and the laughter
that were your forward troops,
the outstretched heart
of your army?
You are attracted to mutual sexual energy. Yes, it is true that you love your friends and family as well as your lover. But the unique aspect of intimate relationship is not love; its uniqueness is due to the attraction of the polarity between the masculine and the feminine -- the yin and yang of sexual attraction.
Every man and woman embodies both masculine and feminine energies, although each individual’s proportion is unique. This proportion determines your sexual gifts. It also influences whom you will find sexually attractive and who will be attracted to you.
Let’s try this for a minute: If you had to choose, would you prefer sex with someone who is radiantly alive, fresh and juicy, longing to surrender to your loving -- or with someone of deep integrity who sees through to your heart and wants to take you with confidence, passion, and total presence?
If you have more masculine sexual essence, then you will be attracted to a more feminine lover. By feminine essence what I mean to describe is the feeling of light, which feels as love and shines as all life. A feminine lover will splay open as radiance, full of life-force, yearning to open as love and receive your deep love. A feminine lover’s smile can literally light up your life and inspire your heart. Most women and some men have a more feminine sexual essence. (And please: having a more feminine sexual essence has nothing to do with juvenile notions of manhood, or a lack thereof.)
If your sexual essence is more feminine, then you will be attracted to a more masculine lover. By masculine here I mean to describe the quality of consciousness. In this context consciousness is manifested as a deep and penetrating presence/ awareness. A masculine lover will take you and ravish you with deep and intense loving. A masculine lover can crack you open and expose the heart of a moment with humor.
If you are like most people, heterosexual and homosexual, then you don’t have a balanced sexual essence (though a few believe they do). Everybody has some feminine and masculine characteristics -- especially on the surface. But deep down where it really matters, in the heart of your heart’s desires, your sexual essence is probably more masculine or more feminine. Deep down you desire to ravish or be ravished sexually, whether or not you have that opportunity to enjoy this depth of loving in your life.
The masculine and the feminine are the Yin and Yang of love’s play -- they attract each other like magnets. Because of that you will attract a lover whose essence is your polar opposite, a lover who, deep down, wants to take what your enjoy giving, who wants to give what you enjoy taking.
And it is in this polarity that lies that delicious torture, this dance of love, this “flowery combat” of intimacy. But the very thing about your lover that drives you to bliss, can (and often does) drive you crazy. The lover who really turns you out in your sexual heart will also frustrate you to no end in the more mundane, superficial parts of your life. For example, if you have a feminine essence, then your masculine lover’s confidence will turn you on, except when rushing like a bull in a china shop when discussing your feelings in a moment of conflict. If you have a masculine essence, then your feminine lover’s spontaneity and liquid sexual responsiveness will turn you on, except during times of psycho hysteria and unpredictable shutdowns.
In moments of deep connection and communion, the masculine and feminine open as an extraordinary gift -- two facets of one jewel, two facets of one reality. But in the more mundane moments -- the shallower, everyday-dust-of-life moments -- their differences can clash. For example, when trying to communicate something verbally, the masculine wants to understand the problem and get to the point, looking for a conversation that will travel as straight a line from point A to point B and hopefully with a resolution when all is fuckin' said and done. The feminine sees talking as it would a dance, as a way to connect to feeling, to be together, enjoying the currents of a shared life-energy.
What often happens, the more masculine partner gets frustrated by the feminine’s seemingly impractical style, while the more feminine partner is frustrated by the masculine’s strict adherence to a know-it-all matrix of The Way Shit Really Is.
Deep intimacy is based not on getting what you want, nor on compromising yourself, but on giving the deepest gifts of your sexual essence. Observe your superficial masculine need to solve a problem or your superficial feminine need to connect with your partner emotionally, and instead, offer your deepest heart and open completely to the moment.
If your feminine lover is babbling on about nothing in particular, offer your deep and unrelenting presence without turning away or zombieing out; penetrate your feminine lover’s heart with your gift of absolute presence.
If your masculine lover has reduced life to problems, solutions, and projects, overwhelm your lover like a monsoon of liquid light, soak your lover in love’s deep waters.
Him: “I am consciousness, and you are mine, my bright bitch.”
She: “I am light. Take me… if you dare!”
In manifesting as feminine radiance and attending as masculine consciousness, every moment opens as one conscious light. Play your differences with humor, opening as one, loving as two.
Love,
Eddie
