So if I told you that "Porky Pig" was gay would you believe me? Probably not. You'd probably think I was trippin’ like usual. Well, the truth is, I don't know whether he's gay or not nor can I even prove it. But, if I could prove that he was gay, and of course if you believe me, would it make a difference in how you looked at Porky? It probably wouldn't make a difference to you; it wouldn't because he's just a cartoon, right? Exactly! He's just a stupid cartoon that we grew up watching as kids and he’s not real. Now if Porky was a real person, things would be different. We'd all look at him differently. He'd be Porky the gay pig instead of Porky Pig.
I think its vapid how we judge and label people because of the sexual orientation of their partners with whom they engage sexually. I mean, I personally love eating p*ssy, but now that you know that, do you look at me any differently? No you won't, because I'd still be RiPPa instead of RiPPa the guy who likes to eat p*ssy. I think it’s stupid to get hung up on someone’s sexuality or sexual preferences. But here in America, it’s a big deal. I'd like to think that in other countries things are different and people are more liberal. But the hell if I know; maybe you can tell me if it is.
Unlike most people, I'm not paranoid about gay people. Hell, when was the last time you heard of a gay rapist in the news? (No seriously, I’d like you to think about that last question) You see, in my younger years I could have been considered a homophobe. Like many people in today's society, I'd throw a middle finger up at gay man all the while embracing lesbians or some girl on girl action. I mean, that’s what men do. That’s what men insecure about THEIR sexuality do. But as I've gotten older I've come to realize just how closed minded and juvenile it is to have such a mindset.
[Read the story of August Provost III here]
I mean hell, heterosexuals engage in sexual activities that are somewhat out of the "norm"; but do we judge them like we do homosexuals? Sure we don't! Do we run around persecuting people who choose to engage in shittin’ on each other while having sex? No we don't. There is no protest if two would be "shitters" wanna get married. Instead, there's outrage about gay marriages and their ability to openly serve in the military. Look, gay people live in this country and pay taxes just like everybody else. They're not forced into a higher or lower tax bracket just because they're gay. So why prevent them from being able to serve their country in the military? I mean, how come there isn’t a special “no shitters” clause in the military? Shittin’ on your partner while having sex is a dirty habit but yet I don’t see anyone trying to ban it.
Of course some people say that it’s not morally right because God didn't intend it to be that way. Newsflash people: nobody voted for God to run this country; God doesn’t put his hand on a bible to be sworn in. And besides, if God didn’t intend for it to be this way, doesn’t that show that even he isn’t perfect? Whatever happened to separation of church and state here? The churches or religious groups have that much power to influence policy or their own moral agenda? Hell, why don't they use that power to stop the f*ckin war in Afghanistan?!! Oh I forgot, in Afghanistan those people are Muslim and not Christian so it’s cool with God to kill them just as long as the person pulling the trigger isn’t gay?
Yeah, the United States military makes bullets and guns that only work for heterosexuals. Yep, that’s why they have to kick gay people out of the military if they’re exposed. Uh huh, that’s why there’s that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. You see once a gay person is found out it causes major malfunctions with the nuclear defense systems that are strategically placed all over the world. And well, you know as a country we cannot afford to become so vulnerable since we’ve pissed off so many people around the world, right? Yeah, if they find out that you're gay, you're gone. Is that fair? Gay people are not qualified to promote democracy and freedom? I guess being gay is anti-American? Isn’t it time that they update their weapons capability so as to prevent them from malfunctioning in the hands or presence of gay personnel?
But hey, this is America, the land of the free, home of the brave, and the hypocrites. F*ck, R. Kelly gets to pee on a 14yr old girl and still make millions from fan support, but a gay person can't exercise his or her right to serve the country in the military and protect our freedom as the military often espouses? I know it’s pretty Utopian of me to expect people to be judged by their character rather than the color of their skin and all. But it’s a damn shame that, I'm considered a better person because I'm heterosexual. Sometimes I swear I wish I lived in a cartoon world. Maybe life would be better for us all if we did. I don’t know about you, but I think Barack Obama is and has pussyfooted enough with this issue, and it’s time for him to deliver. But then again, should they bring back the draft I think it would be kinda cool if all of a sudden everybody decides to be gay so as to skip going to war. Yeah, because war sucks anyway.