Tuesday, June 24, 2008

AMY WINEHOUSE: THE NEXT FAMOUS WHITE PERSON TO DIE


Last week it was Tim Russert. A few days ago it was George Carlin. Next week who's it gonna be? They say death comes in three's, so my vote has to be Amy Winehouse. Yup, white folks are dying yall. Shit, I'm still trippin about how fast they buried Tim Russert. Hell, James Brown wasn't buried till 7yrs after he died because black folks was trippin. Well maybe not "black folks", but more specifically his family.


Not white people though. They usually have shit lined out early. Unlike us, they don't have to argue about who's gonna get uncle Junebug's porn collection, or his TV that sits on the big TV on the floor. Nor do they have to wait for auntie Doritha to finally get there for the funeral. You know there's always an argument as to who should pay for auntie Doritha's Greyhound bus ticket. But with white people you have none of that. Shit, if it wasn't for an autopsy, they'd bury their dead the next day, and fuck all the drama.


But if Amy Whinehouse dies next week, there'd be no need for autopsy. I mean hell, its no secret that she's a crackhead. A more distinguished crackead I might add. The girl has more grammys than Whitney Houston. Say what you want about Whitney, but at least she wasn't a crackhead before she became famous like Amy Winehouse. This chick is 24yrs old, has one album to her credit, and like 100 grammys for refusing to go to rehab. Now aint that some shit? She was a crackhead before she became a star, and was rewarded for it with fame and millions. Most stars pick up drugs along the way. But not Ms. Winehouse.


Hell I know plenty of crackheads around the way who've been smoking for 20 plus years and they have no such luck. But poetic justice is a muthafucka. Amy Winehouse is sitting in a hospital right now with only 70% of her lung capacity according to doctors. A crackhead? At 24yrs old? Who refuses to go to rehab? With millions in the bank?? Sheeeeeiiiiiit! Thats why I say she'll probably die next week. That chick is smoking the best shit over in London, and never having to worry about sucking dick for rocks. The sad thing about it, is that when she dies people are gonna be sad, and she'll be revered like we lost someone with great talent. You know, kinda like they did when that dude from "Broke Back Mountain" died. You know...whats his name...Macauley Culkin. Yeah, folks are gonna act like she wasn't a crackhead before she became famous. Or that her fame was fueled by being a drug abuser in defiance of help. But yet we turn our noses up at our crackhead relatives, and disown them instead of trying to help them.


3 comments:

fat blogs said...

the average crackhead will rob you blind in the time it takes to blink your eye. As for Amy she would be here too much longer. She already looks dead.

Yesha said...

man, amy winehouse has more than one album! but yeah, she's still a crack head!

Stuck in my head said...

Hilarious!

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