Saturday, October 31, 2009

According to Pat Robertson & company: the Hate Crime Bill is wrong, plus, there are Demons in Halloween candy

Oh just great! Not only do we have to worry about some deranged asshole putting razor blades in Halloween candy. Now, according to super christian Pat Robertson of the Christian Broadcasting Network, we have to worry about kids taking a bite out of demon possessed candy.

So that's how they get cavities; it's the work of those damn demons!

Ok, well, he didn't exactly say that, but it does sound like something he would say - he is known say or make outrageous claims. You know, like how he's against the new Hate Crimes Bill and ready to fight it?

Yeah, let's not forget about the whole killing of evil dictators like Hugo Chavez.

Yep, according to him:

"The noose has tightened around the neck of Christians."

Uh-huh, and it's all Barack Obama's fault too. That damn Anti-Christ!

The claim about the demonic candy was actually made by in a blog written by Kimberly Daniels (a Black woman) which was posted on Robertson's website. The post itself has since been reedited on Robertson's site, but can be read in it's original content here. Which is kinda funny because it served as a warning for Christians to forego the celebration of Halloween; something I'm sure Robertson is down with, unlike the new Hate Crimes Bill of course.

Here's an excerpt from the post:

During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

I did a post recently about gay demons and how they turn people gay...

Is this how they do it? Through Halloween candy?

I've read the bible a time or two, but I don't recall any of this being mentioned.

How's that for creative license?

Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.

I'm sorry people, but this stuff makes me laugh. OK, yeah, so I know some of you were raised in Christian homes and taught this alternate reality fundamentalist type of stuff. I was too, and my mother still believes this type of thing be true.  But me? I grew up and did a lot of reading. So yeah, I realize that some of you probably still believe this stuff to this day and refuse to take your kids out trick or treating.

Uh-huh, and according to some of you Halloween is the night of the devil and all that other junk. Well, to you people I ask: are you aware that most, if not all celebrated Christian holidays - like Christmas for example? - all have pagan roots? Oh yeah, that whole celebration of the resurrection of the Bunny Rabbit Jesus Christ? Yeah, that has roots in paganism too.

So yeah, believe this stuff about demons in candy. And because you do, you now have to tell your family that RiPPa schooled you to some other shit - obviously before reading this post you were clueless. Yep, tell them  you read it in a blog because the bible sure doesn't say anything about it. Good! You're gonna have a hard time convincing your kids and your pastor that Easter and Christmas candy are also possessed by demons, but good luck with that, mmmkay?

See, that's the problem - people are suffering due to their lack of knowledge:


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