Saturday, October 31, 2009

According to Pat Robertson & company: the Hate Crime Bill is wrong, plus, there are Demons in Halloween candy


Oh just great! Not only do we have to worry about some deranged asshole putting razor blades in Halloween candy. Now, according to super christian Pat Robertson of the Christian Broadcasting Network, we have to worry about kids taking a bite out of demon possessed candy.

So that's how they get cavities; it's the work of those damn demons!

Ok, well, he didn't exactly say that, but it does sound like something he would say - he is known say or make outrageous claims. You know, like how he's against the new Hate Crimes Bill and ready to fight it?

Yeah, let's not forget about the whole killing of evil dictators like Hugo Chavez.

Yep, according to him:

"The noose has tightened around the neck of Christians."

Uh-huh, and it's all Barack Obama's fault too. That damn Anti-Christ!

The claim about the demonic candy was actually made by in a blog written by Kimberly Daniels (a Black woman) which was posted on Robertson's website. The post itself has since been reedited on Robertson's site, but can be read in it's original content here. Which is kinda funny because it served as a warning for Christians to forego the celebration of Halloween; something I'm sure Robertson is down with, unlike the new Hate Crimes Bill of course.

Here's an excerpt from the post:

During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

I did a post recently about gay demons and how they turn people gay...

Is this how they do it? Through Halloween candy?

I've read the bible a time or two, but I don't recall any of this being mentioned.

How's that for creative license?

Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.

I'm sorry people, but this stuff makes me laugh. OK, yeah, so I know some of you were raised in Christian homes and taught this alternate reality fundamentalist type of stuff. I was too, and my mother still believes this type of thing be true.  But me? I grew up and did a lot of reading. So yeah, I realize that some of you probably still believe this stuff to this day and refuse to take your kids out trick or treating.

Uh-huh, and according to some of you Halloween is the night of the devil and all that other junk. Well, to you people I ask: are you aware that most, if not all celebrated Christian holidays - like Christmas for example? - all have pagan roots? Oh yeah, that whole celebration of the resurrection of the Bunny Rabbit Jesus Christ? Yeah, that has roots in paganism too.

So yeah, believe this stuff about demons in candy. And because you do, you now have to tell your family that RiPPa schooled you to some other shit - obviously before reading this post you were clueless. Yep, tell them  you read it in a blog because the bible sure doesn't say anything about it. Good! You're gonna have a hard time convincing your kids and your pastor that Easter and Christmas candy are also possessed by demons, but good luck with that, mmmkay?

See, that's the problem - people are suffering due to their lack of knowledge:





Friday, October 30, 2009

Where art thou Mandingo II: If you exclusively date interracial, your sex organ is obviously racist (NSFW)

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Guest Blogger: The Eternal Sunshine Of The Clueless Wannabe Parent's Mind by KIT (Keep It Trill)


(Editor's Note: Have you ever stumbled upon a blog site that totally mesmerized you the very first time you visited? So much so that you couldn't stop reading just one post? Well, I have, and that was the experience and just what happened when I came across the blog Keep It Trill almost 2yrs ago. After reading the following you'll be able to understand why this site is a mainstay in my blog roll and RSS reader. Hopefully you visit her site and add it to your daily reading like I did.)

I didn't intend to write this post, but early this morning I read "All We Need Is Love... or Not" by Black Girl In Maine. She spoke of how some folks think that all ya need is love to raise kids, so don't let that hold you back from having more, even if you're living on the economic edge of doom. I love her blog, and boy did she hit a nerve...

By all means read her article and show her some luv. With her permission, here are two excerpts:

"See, love does not feed a child, nor does it clothe a child. Love can not provide the enrichment activities that might nurture that child to be the next great. Sadly it's cold hard cash, dollars, duckets, deniro, shekels that provide these things. So while it would be lovely to have kids with no regards to your financial situation, is it really fair to the kids?

...while love is free, my reality is that kids are not, they do cost and while what they give can never be measured in dollars and cents, the fact is to not look at the costs associated is plain foolish. After all babies can be cheap but just feeding a teenaged boy can send you to the poor house even making everything from scratch..."

BGIM focused on the economics of child-rearing, so I'll expand it and hit another side for those fooled by mother nature's hormones or their own narcissism, that they might not have considered.

This is gonna get gritty, so enjoy.

Parenting is not only an 18 to 21 year commitment, it's a lifetime job. You'll be just as worried when he or she is sweating through a crisis (divorce, career probs, etc) at 40 as you were when he or she was 4.

All kinds of things can go wrong when you have a child, no matter how wealthy you are. The reason is simple: babies grow up to people.

I'll start off light. For example:

Approximately 1% of people develop schizophrenia, usually in their late teens or early 20s.

Up to 1% of children develop autism or one of the related disorders (except among groups like the Amish, who generally do not vaccinate their kids. Some autistic groups think the mercury in the shots cause this, and hint, hint, that's in the new swine flu shots too, but not the nasal spray. Since the pharmaceutical industry and press has been promoting this down our throats, contradictory stories that say they do vaccinate have been popping up to bury the others.)

Now with the more common problems. Approximately 16% of children have learning disabilities and/or ADHD. Keep in mind those are only the ones diagnosed.

Have you ever tried to help a kid with his homework with these issues? Try doing that four or five days a week after a long day at the office or your job, for years. It's like Chinese water torture - for both of you. It's embarrassing too, if he/she has to repeat one of the early grades - like kindergarten.

They also tend to be forgetful about real important shit like their house keys. No telling whose house they're in, and they ain't all that good at choosing their friends. If you say "no more keys", they just climb through the window they left unlocked, because they're ADHD and impulsive, remember?

And how about that category of kids known as Oppositional-Defiant?

These mothafuckas are in a class by themselves. Give 'em a time out in their room, and they play. In the quiet bathroom, and they bust up your wall tiles or screw up the plumbing. Tell 'em they're grounded, and they walk right past you and out the door. Take away all their possessions, and they say fuck you and don't care, and maybe bust a hole in the wall on the way out, which you'll have to pay for.

Crawl on your knees to Juvenile Services for help, and they tell you they can't do a damn thing unless he breaks the law, and the cops ain't doing no paperwork over a hole in the wall or even busted out window, especially if they didn't see it happen. They might take him to the mental hospital if the damage is substantial, but he suckers them too until he's so over-medicated that you don't recognize him.

Beat his ass, and run the risk of Child Protective Services coming after you. Take him to therapy, and watch your slick lil' nigga act like the sweetest kid in the world, only to cuss your ass out all the way home, every week, for 52 weeks out of the year.

Been there, through it, and it's a bitch. Screw the feminists on this one: some boys really need fathers. No guarantee, but it could save a single mother's mind. My son, now 21, still thinks all the shit he did was funny. I can't wait till he gets his own place. First thing I'm gonna do is bust a hole in his wall.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Breaking News: Barack Obama will soon be reading your blogs and tweets


OK, calm down, I don’t know if he’ll be personally reading blogs and tweets sent out on twitter; I’d like to think the man is too busy for that type of stuff. However, according to what I read, the C.I.A. has recently invested in a software firm called Visible Technologies who specializes in monitoring social media sites, including blogs, Flickr, YouTube, Twitter and Amazon. How about that shit? Oh well, I guess it’s maybe time for me to start blogging cooking recipes and “safe” stuff like that, no? I might as well before those Black helicopters start hovering over my house.

Speaking of C.I.A., did you hear that the president of Afghanistan’s brother is on the C.I.A. payroll helping them fight the war on terror and get them Talibans over there? Yeah, I guess when you’re fighting a war against guys who wear those turbans and Jesus sandals you need all the help you can get. The only problem with it is that dude is like one of the biggest drug dealers in the country! Yeah “allegedly” this cat is a major player in the game all the while being on the payroll for the last eight years.

Oh well, like Jay Z said: “You can’t knock the hustle.” If dude can sell the Taliban’s dope and get paid by the U.S. Gov’t to take them down I ain’t mad at him. Besides, they did the same shit when they brought crack into the hood in Los Angeles to help fund those Nicaraguans, right? Yep, nothing wrong with letting drugs flow into the country especially when you’re fighting as Barack Obama puts it, “a war of necessity.”

And what’s this shit I hear about the FBI rounding up and having a shootout with some Negroes in Detroit who were talking about starting their own country? What’s that shit about? Oh lord, don’t tell me this is another one of those deals where some informant got paid to give the Feds wrong information. Shit, as bad as thing are in Detroit the last thing on a brothers mind is starting his own country. Hell Negroes stormed some office in downtown Detroit a few weeks ago trying to get money to be able to stay in their cribs. And you’re gonna tell me 11 Negroes who just so happen to be Muslim was doing some ill shit to raise money to start they own country?

Let’s be real; when you lock up these Muslim Negroes, who’s gonna sell that Taliban dope?

Their primary mission was to establish a separate, sovereign Islamic state within the borders of the United States that would be ruled by their spiritual leader, former Black Panther Jamil Abdullah al-Amin, who is currently in jail for shooting two police officers.

But the charge sheet alleges Abdullah used jihad to justify stealing cars, televisions, guns, fur coats and burning down buildings for the insurance money.
Three of the 11 men accused of participating in the crime ring remain at large. They face a variety of charges including fraud, conspiracy, selling stolen goods, and illegal possession of firearms.(Source)
I’m sorry, but I ain’t buying the idea that these Negroes wanted their own state. As high as the unemployment rate is in Detroit. I’d say they were probably just trynna eat son. But hey that’s just me. Hell people have been stealing shit all over the country for years and probably more so now since folk are unemployed. How come none of them are ever caught or even suspected of wanting to start their own country? Yeah, and how come all the “separatists” are always Black? How come they never catch the White ones?

Surely those White separatists are a bit upset that the whole “reverse discrimination” thing hasn't kicked in yet, and given them some exposure. Instead, they have to go out of their way to gather up a bunch of silly cretins politically like minded people and talk about secession while everybody else laughs at them.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Could you smile if you were facing 15yrs in prison for cutting in line at Wal-Mart? Will Heather Ellis receive a fair trial? Only we can ensure that she does.


On the day that the president of the United States signed the Mathew Shepard Hate Crimes Bill into law, it’s ironic that I run with this story. Imagine that, a Black man as president signing a federal hate crimes bill. If that doesn’t make our ancestors proud I don’t know what would, but I guess I’m just sentimental like that.

Sadly, the smiling lady in the picture above may not be smiling too brightly these days. No she’s not one of those angry sisters unhappy because some guy took a hike leaving her to raise children all by her lonesome. Instead, she’s a pre-med student with a promising future who stands the chance of being sentenced to 15yrs in prison for cutting in line at a Wal-Mart shopping center in her hometown.

Check it out:






Wait a minute; did somebody say something about the KKK?






Dang, and here I thought the Klan was dead in this here post-racial America...

These fools have business cards? Stepping up in the world aren’t they?

Oh well, as always, there are two sides to every story, and as for the Klan angle:

“It has been a total nightmare,” said her father, Rev. Nate Ellis, a Church of God in Christ pastor. “My daughter has been mistreated. She has been convicted before trial.”

Rev. Ellis said at one point a Kennett police officer brought KKK cards to two people participating in marches on his daughter’s behalf. Ellis said the officer indicated he had collected the cards from along a street and laughed as he delivered them. Ellis and supporters read the move as an attempt at intimidation.

County Prosecutor Sokoloff, reached at his office, said that on the day of the rally for Heather Ellis, “somebody, and it’s unknown who,” had strewn some KKK cards that were not associated with any chapter or locality on one of the streets of the parade rally.

“The police went out, found them and picked them up and took them and showed them to one of the family members organizing the thing and told them, ‘we’ve found these laying on the ground, we picked them up and we thought you might want to know about this.’ They instantly accused the police of actually distributing them.” (Read more here)

Barack Obama, Fried Chicken, Facebook, & The Crime Against American Values


You know, all this racist stuff as it relates to Barack Obama doesn’t even piss me off anymore. I’m sorry, but racism has been alive longer than Obama, and sadly, it’s not going away any time soon. That said, why spend the next 4yrs of my life at least, pissed off at a “certain group” of people? Being pissed off does nothing in my opinion; and besides, my blood pressure can only take so much – and you know “us” Black folk be walking around with that pressure. But at any rate, though not emotionally fired up ready to slap White folks, I feel the need to point out certain racist acts.

Like this one:




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Now it’s well known that the driving root of racism and racist actions are fear and ignorance. That said, as far as Barack Obama is concerned. Second to the “should he be killed,” poll on Facebook, this one is quite ignorant. Yes, and I’m afraid as fear goes? They're not worried about killing him with this one. So I guess it’s safe to say that the person who uploaded this photo on the RNC’s fan page is fearful that through race mixing, particularly where Black and White people are concerned, there will soon be a shortage of fried chicken.

OK, so I’m not White. But I’m just guessing that when you sit around fearful of becoming the minority in this country come 2042. One of your concerns is that suddenly there’ll be no fried chicken left to feed your poor welfare assistance dependent family. No sh*t, if I were a White man that would be my concern - not overlooking the idea of having to move into the projects of course and having to put all my bills in the names of my kids - but this would be a big deal for once privileged people, no?

Oh well, at least the picture was taken down from Facebook. Yep, at least this way more White folks do not become more fearful than they already are and start a movement to stop interracial marriages and courtships (you know, kinda like how they do “the gays”). After all, it’s the offspring of these unions who suffer, right? It's bad enough the negative attention containing a racist slant that Barack Obama recieves. But it's even worse when they bypass him and take it to the source of his existance, which would be the marriage of his White mother to a Black man.

Yes, forget about the decision of the “Loving vs. Virginia” case back in the day. It was a crime against American values then, and the closer we get to a point where White folks are becoming extinct from the effects of global warming just like the Polar Bears? It damn sure is a crime even more today than ever before, because as a White man, I'd be damned if I have to wake up in America and be forced to eat fried chicken and tacos for the rest of my life.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Guest Blogger: Oh so you wanna talk, huh? Well listen to what this woman has to say! (by Livication)



(Editor's Note: This post comes from one of my newer readers Livication. She felt compelled to create this response to my man Carey Carey's recent guest post titled: "Ladies, Can We Talk? Why are you Speaking so Loudly? I Can't Hear What you Say!". Seems like my man ruffled a few tail-feathers (sorry about the sexist joke) and my girl wanted to set the record straight. Hopefully the pic above doesn't offend anyone, and no, it is not a picture of the author.)

Yes, boo, we can talk. You want me to put on that thing you like while we talk? No? What! You actually want to talk? Okay, I'm down with that. But first, let me ask you this: by "talk", do you mean "Ladies, can I throw out some genderalizations and make you seem like the problem in our relationships?" That's not what you mean?  Oh, so, you actually want to talk with me and not at me. That's fair; I appreciate that. Now that we, the ladies, have heard what you want to say...well, allow me to retort!

I will preface this by saying that I realize that I am not the "norm", but that the woman written about in the last blog isn’t as common as implied.  I'd like to take this opportunity to speak up from the eyes of the ladies that don't get caught up with suckers. I am not the perfect woman; I know I'm not supermodel pretty.  I don't look like Beyonce or Tyra or Nicki Minaj or Alicia Keys (are they all the same person?).  If you're looking for the "classical" version of a beautiful Black woman nowadays, well..I guess I just don't fit the mold.  I'm quite comfortable in my skin.  Does that mean I sit around on the couch every night with a pint of ice cream watching "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" and hating Black men? Well, no. Not every night.

I might be average (or slightly above), but I sometimes have some idealistic ideals, and as such, I believe my flaw in people would be this: I truly, truly want to know the depth of a person, their passions, soul and intelligence, before I give into allowing myself to be in a relationship with them.  Does that mean I lack other standards? Heck no. I am careful about who I trust with any aspect of my heart (guarded? maybe)...I like to proceed with caution because I'm not interested in going through some bullshit make-up to break-up ordeal when I have other things to focus on.

These things do not include a baby daddy or kids or crazy ex-boyfriends (all though we all have our share) or crazy current boyfriends (considering my decided and enjoyed singlehood).  No, no; my big girl responsibilities include working two jobs, volunteering and activism, and enjoying my free time with my-own-self whenever I can.

Guest Blogger: Things Articulate Black Guys Don't Like: The Social Edition (by Slim Jackson)


(Editor's Note: This posts comes from Slim Jackson of the blog Three Ways To Take It. Just in case you didn't know anything about that blog; allow me to influence you decision to become a regular reader... the blog is funny as hell! It was voted Best New Blog in the 2009 Black Weblog Awards. Need I say more? Anyway, ad his blog to your blogroll, and be sure to follow slim on twitter @slimjackson; Enjoy!)

When I began this entry, I was sitting in a Boston bar/club. The music was blaring and people were drunkenly staggering by. Twas a sober night for Slim. The things that I observe when I'm not amongst the intoxicated are amazing. Though I'm not going to compile a monstrous list like you see on so many blogs, I have come up with a few things that Articulate Black Guys (like myself) Don't Like:  

Excessively Drunk Bunnies Attempting Hip Hop Dances

While sitting and chatting with a few friends from college, I observed this girl crash onto the alcohol and condensation covered floor in a poor attempt to execute the Soulja Boy. Her draws were exposed for about 10 seconds before someone decided to help the wayward girl to her feet. Being that I was sober and in assh*le mode, I thought I would further ridicule her by pointing and laughing in a "haaa haaa" fashion. On another night, this could have been me...well, not really. I'd prolly have lost my shirt, but at least I woulda remained on my feet. Regardless, I chose to draw attention to her at an inopportune time, but it's ok because I knew she wouldn't remember it in the morning, and ultimately I'm still a nice guy. However if she does remember, she probably hates Black men now.

Women Repeatedly Producing Rank Booty Gas in the Presence of Men in Confined Spaces

The other interesting thing about this night was the bubbly girl sitting with us. Some of the fellas commented on her attractiveness. She was a pretty happy and energetic person. When she left the table to go back to the dance floor, I was informed of something terrible. I found out that she had a serious gas problem. Apparently there had been several occasions where the smell of booty gas permeated the air. Given her small and innocent demeanor (She was all of 5'3 and like 110 lbs.), nobody had suspected her at first. But as the odor continued to sporadically return, the common link was her presence. It didn't take a CSI investigator (Cue the theme music to CSI Miami) to figure out who the culprit was. This took her collective 8 out of 10 attractiveness rating amongst the fellas down to a 4. This definitely goes on the list of Things Articulate Black Guys Don't Like...and when being bubbly goes wrong.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Guest Blogger: I'm in Brazil, and I'm not Coming Back to the USA! (by Francis L. Holland)


(Editor's Note: The following post comes from Francis L. Holland. A fellow Afrospear member who blogs over at The Francis L. Holland Blog as well as an assortment of great sites.Checkout how he breaks it down as he attempts to broaden your world view a bit.)

People here in Bahia, Brazil often ask me why I’ve come to live in a “Third World” country when I could live in the United States, where I was born, educated, and practiced law. I guess the simplest way to explain it is in terms of what drove me away, how I got to Brazil, and what makes me stay here.

When I lived in the United States, I was so depressed that I didn’t want to live anymore, even though I was becoming increasingly more recognized among immigration lawyers and non-profit program managers, was earning a good salary and drove a new car . . . I felt empty and lonely inside and didn’t want to be alive any more. I sought psychiatric help, but often the biggest barrier to care was the cheap-ass American insurance companies I had, even as a managing attorney in a large corporation. My doctors had to lie and say I was suicidal, even during weeks when I was feeling better, in order for my care to be covered.

Instead of just ending it all, I decided to do something equally dramatic. I enrolled in a USA university’s French language program and applied to learn French on the French Riviera, while living off student loans. In France, all of my medical care for my psychiatric illness was 100% covered by my French government insurance, which cost me about three hundred dollars a year. The Government also paid 30% of my apartment rent, because I was a student. I began to see more and more that the USA just isn’t “the best country in the world”, compared to what many other countries offer to their citizens and even to foreign students..

After 30 months in France, I was getting along quite well in French and was even enrolled in a doctoral program for international law. I had a doctoral thesis project and had passed a number of law courses taught entirely in French. Once again, though, I came to feel empty and purposeless in spite of the doctoral program, university friends, and an apartment near the beach. The depression and suicidal thoughts came back like a flock of locusts that won’t leave even after the fields have been picked dry.

One negative thing about my personality is that as soon as I learn to do something competently, then I don’t want to do it anymore. I constantly need new challenges, if only because confronting them distracts me from inner loneliness and emptiness. I couldn’t feel happy anymore in France. By 2003, with the Bush Administration’s ballooning war deficit devaluing the US dollar overseas, I just couldn’t afford to live in there anymore, and I thought that I had seen all that I would see there.

So, I researched countries where the US dollar was more valuable and took a bus to Krakov, Poland, where I contracted for an apartment much less expensive than the one in France, and returned to France to gather my things. (I was one of only three Black people I saw during a week in Poland, but I thought I could handle that.)

It was at this point that an Italian friend returned to France from a vacation in Brazil, accompanied by the most beautiful and enchanting young Portuguese-speaking girlfriend imaginable. Together they convinced me that I would be much happier in Brazil, where there is great Afro-Brazilian food, Samba, Pagode and Axé music and dance, Afro-Brazilian culture and heritage, and a uniquely Brazilian martial arts form called, Capoeira. The dollar went a long way, they assured me.

They convinced me that I would surely find the woman of my dreams in Brazil and begin a family, even with financial resources that in France were laughable. (A Coca Cola at a beach restaurant in Brazil costs one dollar, but it costs seven dollars in France, not including the fifteen dollar French charge just for occupying a beach chair.)

After some Internet research, I decided to give Brazil a chance. I sold everything I had (car, kayaks, law books, tools, stove and dishwasher) and was able to buy a ticket to Brazil, with two hundred dollars to spare. I couldn’t afford to travel for a mere visit to Brazil, while continuing to pay rent and monthly expenses in France. So, I had to jump into Brazil with both feet or not at all.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Guest Blogger: Ladies, can we talk? Why are you speaking so loudly? I can't hear what you say! (by Carey Carey)

(Editor's Note:I don't know how my man Carey of the blog Carry Me Home found my blog, but I know he wasn't scared to comment. Ever since then he has become of of my favorite people here in the blogosphere. This young man is hilarious and quite observant of many things he sees and has a unique way of delivering his thoughts. Do check him out, and add him to your blogroll y'all.)

The last time I checked, the blog sphere is covered. The incisive blogger, Max Reddick, has his eye on Jessie Jackson, the reverend Al Sharpton, and Rush Limbaugh. Mason Jamal said it loud and clear, "what's love got to do with it. I'm just trying to be heard." Citizen Ojo sent out a reminder that the vote was bigger than a loud mouth, or a quiet one And of course, RiPPa always has his foot waaaay up in somebodies ass. The last time I checked, he said a lie don't love nobody. Having said all that, I find myself in a quandary. I have to squeeze in where I can get in.

I have to talk about relationships.

Now I am not a relationship guru, yet I am a single black man in America, so it's natural that some things have been starring me right in my face. Well, it's become apparent to me that the majority of RiPPa's readers are females, and he says he love them all. But see, although I respect him and his readers, and do not want to offend anyone, I gotta do my thang. I mean, some may take this personally, but if nobody told you they loved you - today - I do.

Can I be serious for just a few moments? Is that okay?

I just have a few questions that is burning in my soul.

Tell me...

can a man be so undesirable that it's likely he will never find a good woman?

I am leaning towards yes. Well, what about a woman - huh? Is it possible that some women will not be able to catch a man even if she was locked in a penitentiary with a thousand of them? Silly I know. It is a stretch isn't it, but let me tell you a little story...

I was lured to a woman's house. The particulars of that enticement are not important, but when I got there, things weren't right. She lit a few candles and turned on some soft music. The look in her eyes told me she wanted love. But wait.... I didn't say why she really fired up the candles. It would be wrong for me to tell her business, but again, something was askew. This wasn't my first rodeo, so I shifted into auto pilot. Before I had a chance to lay down my magic to tell her why I had to rush away, she appeared from a darkened room. She wasn't wearing a damn thang, and things were still askew. When I grabbed my hat and shook out my coat, she said, "What?.... you don't like p*ssy?"

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Guest Blogger: Rush Limbaugh done picked the wrong ninja to eff with! (by Max Reddick)

(Editor's Note: I've had to opportunity to sit at a table across from Max Reddick over dinner and some spiritual libation. He didn't pick up the check but he's still cool with me. Ladies and gentlemen, do yourself a favor and ad the blog soulbrother v.2 to your daily reading and get to know this man as I have. And be on the lookout for big things to come from this brother if you will.)

RiPPa told me that anything goes over here, so I should just drop my usual aplomb and get buck wild. So I am typing this post butt naked. I did put a towel in the seat, however; I didn’t like how the leather felt on my naked behind.

But let me begin.

I am not necessarily fans of our favorite two uncles, the Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. As author Norman Kelley recently wrote, the two have become incessant headline chasers. And over the years, they have become very adept at the use of images and artifice; they know black folk really well, and they know just what buttons to push to incite them. Additionally, the two of them know how to gain and hold the spotlight. However, I believe our two uncles are still useful to us. If I might use comedian and activist Dick Gregory’s washing machine analogy, their greatest usefulness is as agitators. Gregory writes that the agitator is the working mechanism in a washing machine that cleans clothes as it moves back and forth. Without the agitator, the clothes would not come clean.

In our society, the activist is the agitator. If we did not have activists, if we did not have agitators, the powers that be would just plow over us. And that is the function our two uncles perform; they are professional agitators. After making a statement or taking an action that in anyway can be construed as racist, who wants to hear that dreaded phrase, “Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are out front, and the media would like a statement”?

And in the last week or so when racist rhetoric king extraordinaire Rush Limbaugh decided he wanted to become part owner of an NFL franchise, who was the first to step up and shut that foolishness down? That’s right! None other than our favorite uncles, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Guest Blogger: Black People are working off old paradigms in a 21st Century World - STOP CALLING REV. AL SHARPTON!! (by Citizen Ojo)

(EDITORS NOTE: Citizen Ojo has been a longtime reader of my blog, and one the very first people to comment and support my blog. He blogs over at The Desultory Life & Times of a Public Citizen; a blog that I visit for brain food and laughs. It's a pleasure having him here on the corner as he attempts to convert some of you who need Jesus. Do visit his blog, show him love, and don't be afraid to share your thoughts.)

I will admit that I listen to the Reverend Al Sharpton show. I know that is not a popular thing to say because of how he is viewed by some people. To some people he is a race baiting con artist and to others he is a champion for the underprivileged. I’ve been watching Rev. Al for a while and I believe he is getting wiser in his old age.

I personally feel when he is right he is right and when he is wrong he is wrong.

I don’t believe that he is the ambulance chaser that some portray him to be. If you listen to his show, black folks are always asking him to come to their town or city. Apparently they feel that only Rev. Al can provide the justice that they need. But sometimes people call him for some of the dumbest things this side of the Mississippi.

The problem with some of his listeners is that they subscribe to this false notion of the “Monolithic Black Community”. It’s a falsehood that has been peddled by many of America’s Black Intellectuals and Commentators (including you Rev. Al). Another falsehood is that “we” need “leaders” to lead us because we can’t lead ourselves. Why does Rev. Al need to fly to Detroit to make your Mayor do what he or she is supposed to do? We have elections to remedy these situations. If you don’t like someone, you vote them out.

The problem with many of “us” is that “we” have let the same people continue to stay in office. Some black politicians have become permanent fixtures that have turned public office into their personal playground. 10, 20 30 plus years of chicken dinners and handshakes and you can’t even come out of you neighborhood at night. Then on Election Day “we” barely show up to vote and the day after have a nerve to complain about what’s wrong with our local government.

Guest Blogger: CARS RIDE BY WITH THE BOOMIN' SYSTEM by Mason Jamal

(EDITORS NOTE: My man Mason Jamal of the blog Mason Says drops science as he does here at the Intersection today. Do check him out and show him some love by visiting his site and adding it to your Blogroll. His blog is definitely one worth reading and I'm honored to share 'the corner' with him today. You can also follow Mason on Twitter @masonsays.)

I hate it, although I get it. But since hating something is like a natural born instinct that humans share, let me start with the latter because ‘getting it’ requires a more thoughtful process. So I get that people, of a certain age demographic, like their music loud. And it really doesn’t matter by what conduit – earphones, car stereo, clock radio, television, computer speakers, etc. I live with a sixteen-year-old. I hate it, although I get it. I realize that volume is like drugs, albeit less insidious. The more you consume, the higher your tolerance elevates and, therefore, the more you need of that particular thing to fulfill that rush. In fact, if you merge the two worlds of volume and drugs, you get some warped anthem like “Play it Loud. I’m on Crack & I’m Proud”. But I digress.

In some cases, however, it’s not just volume for the sake of volume. I’m telling you. I’ve given this some thought and I get it. Music blaring from car stereos is of particular interest. Look, I live in a Cincinnati neighborhood that Katt Williams calls home. Need I say more? It’s very urban and very unapologetic about it. With that, comes our fair share of cars (registered and unregistered) cruising down the street sounding like a block party rolling on dubs, whatever the hell dubs are. But as I was saying, the volume is about more than just vanity. For young black men, there is an element of social resistance at play, literally and figuratively. For some, it’s very conscious. For others, it’s planted deep in their sub-conscious. For many of the young men that I see and ‘hear’ everyday, they feel set aside and discarded by mainstream society. Right or wrong, they feel their voices are muted. This is where the music comes into play. It’s a rebellious messenger of how they see themselves.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Megan Williams comes clean: Her story of kidnapping, rape and torture was a lie (UPDATE)

I just read this story about Megan Williams' stunning confession concerning her alleged kidnapping, assault and torture in West Virgina back in 2007. Remember that one? Yeah, many of us were all in a rage that prosecutors were not going to pursue hate crime indictments against the 7 white defendants who violated her. From what I've read and released press statements by her attorney, it was all a lie. According to her attorney, she did this all to get back at a boyfriend she was dating at the time who had beaten her up. It was also revealed that her mother who is now deceased, pushed her to fabricate the story for financial gain as well.



Something tells me that there is more to come in this story. And the irony of this is that my mother just as recent as yesterday asked me what ever became of this case. I tell you what; I believed her story then, but I did with great skepticism. Back then I questioned the fact that this lone Black woman went to party with a bunch of rednecks in the backwoods of West Virginia. She was no stranger to these people and I always figured drugs were involved. No shit, I always thought she was involved with a bunch of druggies at a party that may have gotten out of hand.

The fact that the defendants plead guilty in the face of her allegations means nothing to me. It doesn't because, well, poor people often succumb to unfair treatment as far as the judicial system is concerned... with the exception of the Duke Lacrosse case of course. And please believe, even white people are not exempt from poverty and said unfair treatment. I'm still waiting for more developments to unfold with this one. It looks like Rev. Al Sharpton was had once again by another Black woman with a story. In this case it looks like the only hate crime was the one Megan Williams committed in an attempt to get back at her then boyfriend. I guess if white chicks can do it, who is she to be any different, right?

Memphis 2yr old left alone at home dies in house fire; relative accomplice has no regret

My parents almost lost me as a child, but they didn’t take me far enough into the woods. I don’t know, but maybe 23-year-old Melanie Dunn of South Memphis should have done the same. Instead, she thought it was a good idea to leave her 3yr old and 2yr old sons at home alone for an hour while she went shopping with her aunt. Yeah, I realize that this is something you and I will never do. But it’s been reported that this wasn’t the first time she had done such a thing.

The only problem, this time around, there was a fire in her apartment which left her 3yr old son dead, and his 2yr brother in critical condition in a local hospital fighting for his life. I don’t want to belabor the finer points of “good parenting” or anything. But just know that as a father of a 2yr old I have a hard time finding confidence in leaving her in my home unattended while I run to the mailbox; much less leaving her unattended at home for an hour like Melanie Dunn did.

Unfortunately Melanie’s aunt who accompanied her while she shopped at a local Citi Trends store doesn’t feel that way. According to Marilyn Wilson – aunt of the children – she has no regrets about leaving them at home alone. When questioned by reporters about regrets, she had this to say:

“No, I really don’t because if they had been there by themselves, I don’t know if the boys set the house on fire or somebody threw something in there to set it on fire. I really need to get in there to see if my purse burned up. I had my Food Stamp Card and everything in there.” (Source)
Obviously she doesn’t see the error in their decision making by leaving the kids at home alone. As I mentioned before, this wasn’t the first time this was done. But what’s eating at my craw right about now, is the fact that she was more concerned about her muthafuckin food stamps! That selfish snaggle toothed heifer!

Now look, I’ve lost a wallet a time or two in my lifetime, and yes I wasn’t too happy about it. However, in a situation where the lives of two toddlers were endangered causing a loss of life to one of them. The last thing I would be worried about is my fuckin’ social security card, my I.D. card, my social security card, my Sam's card or my goddamn EBT card. But yet this is what you’re going to say with a mic in your face after being an accomplice to the neglect of a child, which resulted in death?

Charges are yet to be filed against the mother of these children in this case pending further investigation [click here watch video]. What’s the holdup I don’t have a clue. Last year another mother here in Memphis had the bright idea to leave her two kids at home while she went out partying to ring in the New Year on New Year’s Eve. She was subsequently charged with two counts of criminally negligent homicide after her 4yr old and 7yr old sons were killed in an apartment fire.

The good news in this case is that the mother of these toddlers also has a 5yr old who was at school at the time of the fire. He has since been placed in the care of another relative. Should the 2yr old survive, it has already been determined that the same course of action will be taken. No word on yet on Marilyn's food stamps, but yet people wonder why the city of Memphis ranks as high as it does in infant mortality [Click to read about Memphis & infant mortality].




Tuesday, October 20, 2009

From Pudding Pop to Hip Hop: Bill Cosby releases Hip Hop album, but...

It’s often said that the road to hell is paved with bibles and people with good intentions. Bill Cosby introducing a Hip Hop album to the mainstreams seems to be much like that in my opinion. Dr. William H. Cosby hosted an online town hall meeting last night introducing his project “Bill Cosby presents Cosnorati: State of Emergency”. The album is billed as an outreach of sorts to inner city youth. Good idea, well intentioned as I’ve already mentioned, but listening to him speak last night I saw a 70yr old man who is definitely out of touch.

First off, you’re Bill Cosby; you’ve openly criticized Black youth and urban culture. Not only that, but as Jessie Jackson would say you “talked down to Black people.” But yet now you come with a project to reach the youth? Again, not a bad idea, but you employ the talent of guys we’ve never heard of? Damn Bill, at one point in time I remember you trying to buy NBC. Shit, if you want to reach the youth with a positive message via Hip Hop, stop being cheap; spend some money and put together a project with some well known or more influential rap artists.

An old head like me can appreciate the reverberation of “conscious” Hip Hop today in a landscape where said MCs have a hard time thriving. And no disrespect to the young brothers you’re using for this project, but I doubt they’ll create much of a buzz to even pique the interest of kids who are currently hooked on ring-tone music.

Point blank: I don’t care how nice these guys are on the microphone, kids are not going to listen to three no-name emcees tell them to pull up their pants. Especially when one time womanizer, baby having on the side, “Come On People”, Bill Cosby is behind it, and you can't say “filth, filth, flarn filth, in front of people.”


Don’t get me wrong, I grew up with Cosby’s work. Back in the day I couldn’t wait to wake up on a Saturday morning and hangout with “Fat Albert” and the rest of the crew; it was entertaining. And then I got older and his comedic delivery on Thursday nights in the form of Black family utopia or “The Cosby Show” was well appreciated. Yes, I love Bill Cosby for providing those moments in my youth. But the last thing I want is for, a 70yr old man, touching the art form of Hip Hop, to which I am endeared. Please believe, people never forget the wack albums; and I’d hate to see Cosby’s featured on “VH1’s 100 Wackest Hip Hop Albums of all Time” in the future.

If Bill Cosby truly cared about reaching the kids via Hip Hop he would buy BET instead of putting out a rap album that nobody is going to listen to. Seriously Bill if you're not going to do that, stick to Jazz and those ugly 90s sweaters because Hip Hop isn’t you. How about you put out a comedy album that's designed to target parents instead. If you want to reach kids go back to Jell-O Pudding Pops and “Little Bill” on Nick Jr. my friend.

Not that I’m looking to you to throw on a cape and be “Leonard Pt. 6” again to save urban youth or anything. But since you’re not giving away free CDs - something he really should consider doing - and said kids must purchase to get the message. Cosby would be better served if he were able to put together a serious collaboration to reach a wider audience.

Stop being cheap Bill; freedom ain’t free...

Besides, it's a state of emergency, right?

P.S. Checkout what my sister Goddess Intellect had to say: Click Here



Monday, October 19, 2009

Justice of the Peace Keith Bardwell is not racist; but I am, and it takes one to know one

I've been called racist by few people who have visited this blog and on other online forums. One thing that is consistent about that, is the fact that this assertion is always expressed by non-minorities. But hey, studies have shown that the stronger a person of color identifies with his/her culture the more likely it is for them to be perceived as such. Which is funny when you think about it because I have a hard time recalling Black Supremacists groups obtaining permits to march through cities and towns and give hate speeches.

Even more ironic, is when I ask the people or persons levying those claims to define racism. They almost always have a hard time doing so and I've came to realize that often they didn't know what the hell they were talking about.


But after reviewing the recent news from Louisiana surrounding the denial of a marriage license to an interracial couple by a white justice of the peace. I've now come to realize that yes, I am racist. I've never married a white couple in my home nor have I had a white person use my bathroom so obviously I am racist. Never mind the fact that I have piles and piles of white friends; those friendships are just for show. So yeah, using Keith Bardwell's logic and that of others like him, I'm definitely a racist individual.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

115 baby mommas, in one high school?!!

OK, the brother in the picture above has not impregnated 115 women. I just thought the above pic goes well with this next story. From the looks of it, this brother is in for an early grave as he hopefully works himself to death to provide for his children. Yep, what you see above in my opinion should be plastered on a billboard in urban communities as an ad for either Trojans or the county child support prosecutor. But like I said, this isn't about him, but instead yet another negative and troubling story coming out of Chicago Illinois. What is it about all the negative stuff coming from the Windy City lately?



Check it out:


Teen pregnancy is obviously not a welcomed situation; and yes, ideally it would be best if teenagers waited until they're responsible adults before taking on the task of child rearing. But this is the real world, and it just doesn't happen that way; and the story above leaves you with the feeling that Black teens are out of control, did it not? Yep, I saw this as another one of those “look at the Negroes,” exposes. Which they did a damn good job at I might add; they even went as far as to highlight the fact that the school principal himself was born to a 15yr old mother.

But you see, to me this is what I call irresponsible journalism. They highlighted what they saw as a “problem” within that school, but were unable to present you any empirical evidence or information as it relates to teen pregnancy in the entire school district. Instead, you're supposed to walk away with the impression that, well, Black teenagers (because that's the only ethnic group represented in the piece) are rather promiscuous. Which goes right along with the idea that Black folks are hyper-sexual beings - yeah, it's exclusive to our DNA.

And then there was this tidbit from the piece:

“LaDonna Denson and two other Robeson students say parents not talking to teens and, in some cases, the pursuit of public assistance also factor into the pregnancies. None of them thought they'd be moms at such a young age.” - (Source)
Yep, they identified the possible causation, and they had to include that “the pursuit of public assistance also factor into these pregnancies.” Uh-huh, Black people love them some welfare don't they? Did they really have to include that opinion in the piece? They never provided any solutions, and yes I know three minutes isn't enough time to even go there. But at least they did offer us a bit of hope by way of highlighting the fact that a one-time crackhouse will soon be used as a daycare center for those students who intentionally got pregnant just so they can get welfare.

What say you?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Meet the newest cast member of "Real Housewives of Atlanta" (VIDEO)

I know upon viewing this some of you are going to be upset, but...


You gotta admit: she'd give those ladies on that show a run for their money. I'm just sayin': why get mad or even upset after seeing this verbal display, wasn't it as entertaining as the show? Hell, with Real Housewives of Atlanta currently carrying a total viewership of 2.9 million according to Nielsen Media Research, why not add this kid to the mix and be even more entertaining. Teach her how to pull out a white woman's hair, sleep with married men, wear shitty weaves and makeup and she'll be set, right? I mean the show is about reality, is it not?

I wonder if her mother's last name is Leakes...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Interracial couple denied marriage license in Louisiana, because it's bad for the kids

I don't know how many people from the great state of Louisiana read my blog, but I have some information to share. Now before I go ahead lemme remind you readers that Louisiana is indeed located in the United States, and it is not a foreign country like Mississippi. OK, so now that I got that out of the way, what's the deal down in Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana? Why aren’t marriage licenses issued to interracial couples?

HAMMOND, La. — A Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have.

Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.

Neither Bardwell nor the couple immediately returned phone calls from The Associated Press. But Bardwell told the Daily Star of Hammond that he was not a racist.

"I do ceremonies for black couples right here in my house," Bardwell said. "My main concern is for the children."

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.

"I don't do interracial marriages because I don't want to put children in a situation they didn't bring on themselves," Bardwell said. "In my heart, I feel the children will later suffer."

If he does an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.

"I try to treat everyone equally," he said. (Click to read more)
Well at least Bardwell was honest enough to say that he tries to treat everyone equally. I try to wake up every day knowing that bigotry is a thing of the past, but I don't break any laws doing it. But Mr. Bardwell on the other hand? Well, let’s just say that he's a man who lives by his own rules. How in the hell is he the Justice of the Peace? And didn't he get the post-racial memo?

Of course it’s often said that love is blind, and so too is Lady Justice, but then I have to remember that it’s the “Dirty South” we’re talking about here. Even so, there is no way this couple (Terence McKay and Beth Humphrey) are going to lose any lawsuit especially considering that the ACLU is in on this.

Did you like the “I’m not racist, I do ceremonies for Black couples in my house,” line? I did. I love it when they say stupid shit like that. You know, like, “I'm not racist, I went to Gym with a Black guy!” I'm assuming that there aren't that many interracial couples looking to get married down there or else this would have been a well known story way before now. But maybe this isn’t about race mixing and the production of mongrels as is the old thought.

Maybe he truly does care about the kids. I mean, the groom in this case is Black, and maybe he doesn’t want any future children they bear growing up in a single parent home after daddy bounces – you know those Black guys are good at that, right? But then again, look at how a certain well known U.S. president who happened to be a product of an interracial marriage turned out. But hey, I guess in the mind of Keith Bardwell he's an anomaly.

What do you think?

If it's free, Negroes will be there, especially if you tell them you won the lottery

As a consumer there are two times when you buy something: 1) When you have to, and 2), When an opportunity presents itself; and said opportunity, is defined as “a favorable set of circumstances”. That said, check out what happened to these patrons at a Burlington Coat Factory store in Columbus Ohio yesterday:


Now according to what I read over at FROM MY BROWN EYED VIEW from Lady Deborah who just so happens to live in Columbus Ohio. The woman in question is named Linda Brown, and in a statement to the press from her daughter, she is a mental patient. Proving once again that sometimes “crazy” isn’t always detectable. Now had she showed up looking like who done it and what for. I doubt anyone would have taken her seriously. But what can I say that BBD (R&B group Bell, Biv, DeVoe) hasn’t already said: “You can’t trust a big butt and a smile.”

She was arrested for an outstanding warrant. But what's disturbing to me is that she can be potentially charged for inciting a riot. Yeah, did I mention that those fine patrons trashed the store when they found out they had been Punked? Uh-huh, apparently they were upset when Ashton Kutcher and the hidden camera crew failed to step out from the shadows when it was all said and done.

“By the time employees realized Brown didn't have any cash to pay, police said, she already had taken off in the limo.

That's when angry customers, realizing they weren't getting free coats, began throwing merchandise on the floor and grabbing clothes without paying for them, Nace said.

"Everybody was like, 'I still want my free stuff,' and that started the riot," he said. "It looks like (Hurricane) Katrina went through the store."

Police said they have no way of tracking down the customers who stole items and fled, but they're reviewing surveillance video.

When the limousine driver realized he wasn't going to be paid the $900 Brown owed him for the day's rental, he turned her in to police, Deakins said.

Brown, 44, was arrested on three outstanding warrants for aggravated menacing, misuse of a 911 system and causing false alarms. She was jailed late Wednesday, but no charges had been filed against her related to the coat store chaos pending a mental health evaluation.” - (Source: New York Daily News)
After reading the above article my initial thought was “Damn, shit like that never happens to me!” Ok, so I know it's sick and maybe a bit twisted, but the truth is I'm just not the luckiest guy in the world - I'm never around when something like that happens. Ok, so maybe it's my inner greed speaking; I'm human aren't I? Even so, and as human as I am, I seriously doubt I would have been in on the looting and rioting. I mean, that's with the exception of me being left to die after a Category 5 hurricane hit my city of course. What can I say; I love free stuff just like my cousins; and in this economy, is that a bad thing?

I guess from here on out people are going to question Secret Santa's as the pop up on the scene this upcoming holiday season; especially if they're Black and riding in Limos. Mental Health is an often overlooked issue in the Black community. But somehow were this woman's condition explained or realized by these these patrons. I doubt they would have cared because all they heard was F-R-E-E, bitches! And I bet some of them are talking about it today, and happy about how they got over at the expense of Linda Brown and her family.

P.S. I love my people, but I hate when they act like animals.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

So what if Rush Limbaugh wants to own a few Negroes in the NFL...

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Awww fuckit! What's the big deal if Rush Limbaugh wants to be a co-owner of the St. Louis Rams?!! Who gives a shit, let him have it; this is America, can't a man make a dime? I mean, that's only if he's White that is. I mean come on, who worries about a Black man making any money in America; shit, most of professional sports teams in this country are owned and donate considerably to the Republican party anyway. I say let Rush have at it and be the one with the big balls running around the sideline like Jerry Jones down in St. Louis.

"Look, let me put it to you this way: The NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it." - Rush Limbaugh

So what he'll have a large number of Negroes working for him on the field every Sunday; it's not like they'll go on strike, walk away from their multi-million dollar contracts, or stop dating White chicks. The NFL or professional sports with the exception of Hockey is the modern day plantation, and the man is entitled to a Jimmy The Greek moment. Shit, if you wanna get me fired up, lets talk about getting some Black or minority owners; last time I checked there were no minority owners and hell they just started getting Black coaches. So until Louis Farrakhan wants to buy into an NFL team and petition the commissioner to keep brothers away from the pigskin, there's no controversy here folks.

Yeah, please go sit down somewhere Rev. Al Sharpton; wrong issue bruh.

So let Rush do his damn thing and spend his money where he pleases. He renegotiated his contract last year for his show to the tune of $400 million dollars - g'head, let him buy a nigger or two. I'm sure he'll be welcomed with open arms by the members of the Council of Conservative Citizens based in St. Louis as they continue their fight for White Civil Rights. Fuckit, let 'em all have their fun before the ball drops on the new year that is 2042 when the Negroes and Wetbacks take over.

Besides, the Rams suck...

Now watch this video and see the St. Louis welcome wagon:

Trust me, Rush Limbaugh is the least of anybody's problems.

Teach Them Well and Let Them Lead the Way - Use What you Got, to Get What you Want

So it's no secret that RiPPa loves the kids. Yes, I'm currently the father of three beautiful young ladies with another one due in January. I'm not gonna sit here and suggest that I'm the best parent in the world because I'm sure that there are a lot of things I could have done differently over the years. But hey, with a new baby on the way, please believe that I plan to do better with this one than I've done with each successive child in my care over the years. Times have changed, and adapt I must. That's why I'm going to teach this to my now 2yr old, and my newborn next year:


Yep, when I first saw the above video on Facebook over the weekend (one of my contacts is connected to the mother of this child), I was jealous of the lady who uploaded it. She was so proud that her baby won $20.00 earlier that day in a dance contest that she decided to have an after party/celebration at her house in her kitchen. Yes, like all proud parents, she wanted the world to see just what her baby could do. Nothing makes a parent more proud than the accomplishments of their kids, and I was jealous that it wasn’t one of mine.

“Shake that ass, do the Stanky Leg, and you'll never starve baby girl,” is going to be the message I teach my two youngest girls. Oh trust me; they're not going to be eventual failures like their two older sisters. Like I said, I failed with them; I can only wonder what they'll be able to do to be self sufficient when they get out of high school in the next two years. Had I done my job as a parent, at 16 and 15yrs old as they are today, they would be able to do this:


Boy do I wish my two oldest kids had such confidence in themselves.

When you’re able to dance and motivate erections by random men…

The world is definitely your oyster, no?

Obviously the parents of these children, unlike me, realized just how important confidence and making the booty pop is to ones survival. How can one expect their children to leave the nest and go out into the world without the necessary confidence to do something strange for a little piece of change? Sure you may deem such artistic expression inappropriate for girls at that age; but hey, you gotta start somewhere, right? Yep, women bitch a lot about different issues – they even form womanist groups and stuff. But I’m willing to bet that life would be different for them had they all started out dancing on a kitchen table and learned how to Twerk it instead of blaming men for their troubles.


P.S. If you fail to see the sarcasm in this post you should drink a warm cup of bleach.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: GOP claims Kunta Kinte as a Republican hero

Can one of you tell the GOP that the days of slavery are long gone? No seriously, somebody tell them that it's not cool for White folks to run around claiming ownership of Black people anymore. I'm not sure if America having its first Black president has anything to do with it entirely, but I'm willing to bet a smidgen of it does.

Today the Republican National Committee (RNC) unveiled its new website. Ironically and just in time for the major league baseball post season, added to their site as one of two dozen “GOP Hero” is Jackie Robinson. Jackie Robinson as you know, is credited for breaking the color barrier that was professional baseball. Just great, not only do us Negroes have to contend with the argument that Martin Luther King Jr. was a Republican, now we have to add Jackie Robinson to the mix.

According to the site Jackie Robinson was a “Great Republican” who campaigned for Richard Nixon's presidential campaign in 1960. Oh, and let’s not forget that in 1964, he also supported New York Governor Nelson Rockefeller's campaign. He did both, but according to his autobiography “Jackie Robinson: A Biography,” by Arnold Rampersad, Jackie Robinson identified himself politically as a “registered independent”.

The book acknowledges Robinson's support of Republicans, but quoted Robinson, speaking in 1959, this way:

“I guess you’d call me an independent since I’ve never identified myself with one party or another in politics.” He was, in fact, a registered independent. But already Robinson had shown a clear disposition to support Republicans, and in particular Nixon.
Jackie Robinson also had to say this about the Republican Party after Barry Goldwater won the nomination over Rockefeller, when speaking about the GOP 1964 National Convention:

That convention was one of the most unforgettable and frightening experiences of my life. The hatred I saw was unique to me because it was hatred directed against a white man. It embodied a revulsion for all he stood for, including his enlightened attitude towards black people.

A new breed of Republicans had taken over the GOP. As I watched this steamroller operation in San Francisco, I had a better understanding of how it must have felt to be a Jew in Hitler’s Germany.
If Jackie Robinson was a Republican he damn sure didn't sound like it, did he? But hey, that's revisionist history for you. If Jackie Robinson was a “Great Republican Hero”, can you imagine what they'll be saying about George W. Bush in about another 50yrs from now? The irony of Robinson’s description of the party is that there isn't that much difference strategically by the GOP of today. They are as divisive now as they were back then, and they play on the further polarization of the nation for political expediency.

But I guess if you visit the site like I did, and you think like I think, you couldn't help but to laugh at how they painstakingly took care to be sure that they had a few minorities splashed on their hero page other than Michael Steele [Click here to check it out]. My spider sense is tingling and telling me that had John McCain won the presidency instead of Obama, they would give two shits about Jackie Robinson – or any other minority for that matter. One has to wonder how come they have yet to lay claims to Kunta Kinte.

Monday, October 12, 2009

It's Easy to Pull a Breezy, Smoke Trees, and Stay Drunk

If I knew that shit would be as f*cked up in the new millennium as it is, I would have partied harder in 1999 – damn you Prince. Let’s see, Bush gets elected, and then a few months after his inauguration I lost my job due to corporate downsizing – hell, the towers hadn’t even fallen yet. And here we are almost 10yrs later and pretty much everybody is up shit’s creek without a paddle or a friggin life jacket. Damn I miss the 90s, with Puff Daddy and the shiny suits.

So the other day I’m whippin’ the ride around the city, and I turn to one of the two local stations for Hip Hop. Of course I rarely listen to these stations but this day in particular I had an itch. After maybe ten or fifteen minutes of listening I was infuriated. No, I wasn’t mad at myself for being a glutton for punishment by listening for what today passes as Hip Hop music. Instead, I was mad because it seemed as if all these assholes with songs on the air were clueless to the fact that we’re in a deep recession.

When the unemployment rate is at a 26yr high nationally and the rate of employment for Blacks and other minorities are as staggering as they are. The last thing I wanna hear is some fool on my radio talking about how much money he has and how much of it he throws away or wipes his ass with. When there’s a home foreclosure every 13 seconds in this country I seriously don’t think I wanna hear about how you make it rain on hoes or your 75 inch rims on your 1976 Chevy Nova, or how your pitbull drinks Cristal. I mean, that's unless rappers are the only employed Black people right now, that is; then and only then is that type of talk positive, uplifting and motivational.

Yep, why finish high school when you can be a rapper, right?

No seriously, I know rappers are not the only people currently with money in this country. And the fact that they are insulting my intelligence in ways that a big booty stripper could get away with back in the day pisses me off. I mean obviously these chowder-heads aren’t aware of the state of the economy. Shit man, not trying to be the disgruntled old school Hip Hop fan, but whatever happened to music that related to everyday people, or the realities of the everyday struggle? You know, that whole “Don’t, push, me, cuz', I’m, close, to, the, edge,” thing? What, did they hand out reparation checks and forgot to let a brother know?

In the ever popular “keepin’ it real” landscape that is Hip Hop, is this truly what is really happening? I’m 39yrs old and if this is indeed the way rappers are living someone needs to let me know quickly. Yes, because that would mean that at my age it’s not too late to pursue a onetime childhood dream of being a dope MC, meeting Kim Fields and getting married.

Damn straight!

While the rest of you losers are out here complaining about the state of the economy, and the price of milk while waiting on unemployment checks. I’ll be spending my ringtone money and eating food off of the platinum plaques on my wall as I watch the movie Scarface for the 5,500th time; why should Lil' Boosie and company have all the fun gettin' wiped down. Somebody get me Mr. Rourke's phone number so him and the midget Tattoo can make it happen.

Who said dreams never come true, right?

Oh well, don't tell that the guy who wrote this song...

His name is K'naan, he was born in Somalia and is currently a rapper...

You won't hear this on the radio...


Sunday, October 11, 2009

Revenge of the Crackbaby

Remember back in the 80s when crack exploded? Wasn't that devastating to our communities? Well, remember when back then there was much talk about all these babies being born addicted to crack cocaine? Umm, err, where are all of these babies today? Seriously, that's a question that ha been on my mind for quite some time. Whatever happened to these crack babies and what are they doing with themselves these days.

Can any of you clue me in on that one?

I mean I really would like to know because I'd hate to continue believing that they've all been employed by BET (Blaxploitation Everyday Television). Speaking of which, checkout a now famous ex-crackhead who happens to be employed by a certain network at a recent red carpet affair hosted by said network:


Now look, the last thing I'd like to do is make fun of the personal triumph of an individual unless his name is R. Kelly. And yes, R&B sensation Keyshia Cole's mother Frankie is an ex-crackhead who makes it hard to believe that she actually is a recovering addict. But I have to wonder how in the hell was she able to wear platinum gold fronts in her mouth when she doesn't have any teeth? No seriously, when did they start making platinum dentures? This is disturbing folks, and I hope it doesn't become a trend. Lord forbid if someone at Viacom gets the bright idea to give Frankie and Flava Flav a new reality show... together.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that she's able to bounce back as many recovering addicts have; and I see her emotional meltdown on the red carpet as evidence of just how much she is aware of her blessings. Yes, it's very unlikely for a recovering addict to walk out of prison to become a mainstream star on television with her own show. But am I wrong to see her as being the victim of exploitation by the corporate executives at BET similar to the drug dealers with whom she had dealings?

Surely there is a symbiotic relationship...

But is it right?

You tell me...

Apture

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