Thursday, December 2, 2010

BREAKING: U.S. Senate Approve Funds for "Slavery Reparations"

Negronia (NNN) -- In a move that will surely have African Americans finally indebted to the Democratic party after all these years. The U.S. Senate all but quietly passed legislation which would see $1.25 billion being funneled to black folks throughout the nation. With a Black president currently leading the free world, the measure was disguised as a long awaited settlement in a lawsuit addressing grievances of discrimination filed by black farmers. A strategic move so as to eliminate the perception of racial bias on the part of white America, given the president's race; a precarious position for America's first half-black president.

Much like the slow travel of news of emancipation centuries ago, many African Americans are oblivious to this development. Which could be a good thing for the economy's sake. With the unemployment rate currently around the 10% mark. The last thing we need for the few one thousand or so employed African American workers in America, is for them to quit their jobs upon the realization that there's no need to ever work again. But at the same time, given that consumer demand is down, this news can be seen as a huge economy boost.

Black leaders across the land are urging African Americans to proceed with extreme caution in light of this announcement. Clutching a bible while scratching off a freshly purchased lottery ticket, one prominent "black leader" who requested to remain anonymous for fear of being labelled a "hater", "sellout", and "slave catcher" had this to say to NNN (Negronia News Network):
"Just because the price of gold has shot up after this announcement, doesn't mean we should start pre-ordering them Cadillac Escalades just yet, fools! Sheeeeit, wait for the KFC stocks to go up first! That's how we gon' know we really gettin' our money... Wall Street don't lie!!!"
Cautionary advice that is well justified considering just how long it has taken for the descendants of Africans slaves in America to get to this point. Also, it must be noted that Congress still has to vote on procedural motions surrounding the bill. And with representatives the likes of Steve King (R-IA) who happens to be a vocal opponent of anything that benefits minorities, black folks should air on the side of caution:
"Figure this out, Madame Speaker: We have a very, very urban Senator, Barack Obama, who has decided he's going to run for president, and what does he do? He introduces legislation to create a whole new Pigford claim [...]

[...] We've got to stand up at some point and say, 'We are not gonna pay slavery reparations in the United States Congress,'that war's been fought. That was over a century ago. That debt was paid for in blood and it was paid for in the blood of a lot of Yankees, especially. And there's no reparations for the blood that paid for the sin of slavery. No one's filing that claim." (source)
We the "very urban" here at NNN (Negronia News Network) would love to hear your thoughts about the recent good news. Feel free to share your thoughts, comments, and views on this breaking news story that is certain to affect everyone in Black America. Do you see financial "reparations" as a good or bad thing? Does Rep. Steve King have a point that "reparations" have already been paid in blood by "Yankees" (Read: White Folks) for slavery?


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