Friday, October 8, 2010
The Friday Sex Blog [The Way to a Man's Heart]
This one’s a freebie for you, ladies. Read carefully because I will not repeat myself... *grin*
Contrary to the cliché, the way to a man’s heart is through a place a little lower than his stomach. The way to a man’s heart is through his penis, his bodily root. The flower of my heart opens widest when my root is planted firmly, deeply in your body. I challenge any man to say otherwise.
I’m not talking about just any immature lover here: the mediocre lover whose penis is merely an extension of his pleasure (no matter how long or short); a sensitive tongue or finger that responds to your juicy wet friction. I am referring here to the man who has made the commitment to the growth of his sexual capacity. That kind of man’s penis can help ground his consciousness in his body and yours.
Most men tend to live in their heads, separate from their bodies. Men, more often than not, think, plan, and run things through their heads all day. Then, for a few moments with you, his life force goes to his genitals (the “little head”), and then -- BAM! -- it spews. You might enjoy this little bit of time with your man. For a few moments he’s not glued to the TV or immersed in his work. Your sexing draws him out of his head and into his body, however briefly, where he feels more present with you than he is when he is inside his head.
When a man begins to mature sexually (and I am not talking in chronological terms here), he cannot help but stay stuck in his head. He tries, through mental efforts, to become technically proficient, and you feel this and ultimately experience this mechanically oriented attempt at sexual intimacy as unsatisfactory.
Want to know the antidote to mediocre sex? The antidote to this is your dance on his penis. Nothing brings a man into his body faster than a firm yank on his root (and I’m not talking about just your hands here). Yes, there moments when motionless sex is called for: loving, sensitive touching, etc. But there are times for a healthy grasp with your vagina, mouth, ass, or hand. Most women touch a man’s penis too lightly, too hesitantly. Grab him firmly and really fuckin’ pump him. And, when he’s just about to ejaculate, slow down, or stop so he doesn’t. Let him relax for a few moments before continuing.
Why? Well, here’s the gist, the key to a man’s heart: you have to help him create an energetic connection between his head and his cock so that his heart is aroused. Remember, that for men it takes practice to open our hearts while having sex. Women want to be fulfilled in the sex, while men seek to be emptied. Your stimulation should be intense enough to keep him in his body rather than in his head, where he’s usually thinking about what’s he’s supposed to be doing in order to be a “great” lover.
To prevent a *ahem* premature ending to the sex, remain present enough to slow or stop stimulation before he ejaculates, and then start that motherfucker up again as he softens. You will only be able to open his heart as wide as yours, ladies. If you are pumping mechanically, he will simply gasp and spend himself. But if your body is flayed open and your heart is fully exposed, then as you draw him away from his head into his body, your love will resonate with his love. And faking it, contrary to what so many women think, will not get it. You get what you pay for ladies. If you are fuckin’ some immature motherfucker who probably doesn’t give a fuck anyway, you might get away with faking it. But a mature man will only be able to give you what you give out.
The art of deep, fulfilling sex lies in your capacity to relax into your body and receive your lover so profoundly that he is drawn beyond himself and into your love. Open yourself so wide that he falls into you -- again and again. He will try to pull back, to regain control, to practice some stupid-assed technique he saw on some porn or some such silliness. All this time, just work his root, drawing him back into his body, opening your heart and body as wide as you are willing to trust, nurturing his love with the power of yours.
Of course, you want your man to love you during sex. First, he must learn to undo the years of the conditioning of masturbation and habits of sexual fantasies. Want him to stay present with you during sex? Then remember that most men find a woman’s pleasure more attractive than their own.
Why do you think men go to stripper’s clubs? When men watch a stripper dance on stage or an actress have sex in an erotic film, what they are most turned by is her display of pleasure. I realize that to you the exaggerated moans and self-pleasuring seem ridiculous, but while women are most turned on by presence, men are most turned on by a woman’s glow and energy. We are entranced by how you move, moan, smile, and open to love.
What we find utterly irresistible in a stripper show is the display of feminine essence opening to pleasure. Believe me, watching a woman touch herself with the enthusiasm of a dead fish is not interesting. But when a woman is truly enjoying her feminine sexual essence, we are smitten. Our attention becomes absorbed in the radiance of your happiness and pleasure.
The reason why a good actress or dancer can give a man this feminine energy is because true acting is a real art; the emotions expressed are authentic. To offer a man the gift of your authentic openness and pleasure, allow your body to be moved by the deep flow of ecstasy. In this way, your feminine energy and your man’s masculine presence can grow together. Eventually, his need for mere sexual gratification or stress release will morph into a fuller expression of love. He will be drawn into you in a way that opens his heart in vulnerability.
So remember ladies, keep his penis hard and your heart open so that he has the opportunity to yield into your soft convulsions of pleasure like a tongue tasting the meat of a juicy mango. Who you are when you are reveling in sex, relaxed in bliss, radiant with sexual pleasure attracts him more than anything else on Earth.