DO 50 BULLETS IN YOUR ASS MAKE YO' DAY??

The movie "NOTORIOUS" is finally here. The movie is a biopic which centers on the life of legendary rap star The Notorious B .I.G. , or Biggie, as he is affectionately known by hip hop heads such as myself. As a fan, I'm kinda torn on the movie though I haven't seen it just yet. As a matter of fact, when I heard it was in production, I made up my mind that I wouldn't see it. Its not that I already know how its gonna end, its just that I loved that dude and his music so much that I can't see some other fat dude (other then myself...*cough*) playing him in a movie.

To me, making a movie about him is a violation. Making a Biggie movie is like remaking a Michael Jackson classic. Lets face it: there are some stuff that should never be touched, and to me, this is one of them. I'm dead serious, I'd be equally as pissed if they made a Vanilla Ice movie. I mean, who needs to relive that embarrassing moment in hip hop history. Wasn't the made for TV MC Hammer movie enough?

Instead of seeing "NOTORIOUS" I think I'm gonna go see "Gran Torino". You probably haven't heard of this movie, nor have you paid any attention to the trailer. Basically, its a movie staring legendary actor/director Clint Eastwood. He's some where around 103yrs old now, so just the fact of him being in a movie in itself is an accomplishment. Supposedly, he's playing another bad ass character in this movie. If you know anything about his older movies, he's always been a bad ass hero through the years, and his persona is something that's for the books.

But do you wanna know why I'm interested in this movie? I'm interested in seeing it because I believe it will be a source of comedy for me in months to come. Its a pretty serious movie, and not to be confused with Clint playing in a comedic role. So what's so funny RiPPa? What's funny is that he's playing and old ex-military racist bastard who has a hard on for young thugs. Like I said, I haven't seen the movie, but just from what I've read, and seen in the trailer, he's bent on getting his rocks off on getting rid of young punks in his neighborhood. Yup, Clint is going around shooting at gangbangers the likes of something reminiscent of the movie "Falling Down". Remember that one?

So again, what's so funny about that RiPPa? What's gonna be funny is probably what's gonna happen after the movie is released and seen by white people. You see, Clint Eastwood is like John Wayne in the minds of white people of another generation. A lot of them are gonna wanna see this movie just because its Clint. And when they do, they're gonna think of his old "Dirty Harry" character from back in the day. They're gonna go see this movie and get so involved with it that they're gonna think its real life. Black people do the same thing at the movies and thats why they talk through movies, and get shot for doing it. But not White people. They don't say shit at the movies. Instead, they leave the movie all juiced up like an idiot who just drank a Red Bull, and did a couple lines of meth. You know, just like the Italian dudes who saw "Rocky" back in the day? Eddie Murphy talk about them in his stand up movie "Raw", remember?

Well if you remember that bit, you'll understand why this is going to be comedy for me. You see, I suspect that after seeing this movie, there will be a lot of old ass white men killed, or injured pretty badly in an attempt to be bad asses just like Clint's character in the movie. Yup, I suspect that Clint Eastwood is going to be the death of old ass white men in 2009. Think about it: cops are killing Black men these days; they're doing their part. What makes you think old white men wouldn't attempt to recapture their racist youth of days gone bye and try to take out a few young thugs in this day and age. And see, that's where they're gonna get themselves fucked up, and its all gonna be Clint Eastwood's fault. Of course the media wouldn't see it that way. Instead they'll probably report it as some young thug deciding to be a menace to society as always. But here's a tip for my white readers, and friends of white people: Stay away from Gran Torino; stick to Benjamin Button; you'll live longer.

I'll have to comeback and tell you guys about the movie once I see it. I'll do my best although I do not think I can do as well as Invisible Woman does on her blog when she breaks down the latest movies. But I guarantee you that my assessment will be honest, and delivered with the fullest reality as always. Who needs to see the Biggie movie and be sad all over again when he gets killed in the end. Yup get mad at the fact that his killer hasn't been caught to date and its been years since he was killed. Instead, go see Gran Torino, that way we can have a profile of the future killers of young Black males other than the police and other Black men these days.

Roll clip.....