PORN INDUSTRY BAILOUT YOU SAY?

Well I'd be damned. Just when I was thinking about coming out of retirement, and gettin my side hustle on, I hear the porn industry is in trouble. Oh well, so much for me breaking out those lime green speedos that have been in my closet.

Now, I knew the economy was bad, but I had no idea it was this bad. I mean, when all else fails, sex will always sell, right? I guess I was wrong, and its obvious this economic meltdown is taking a serious toll. Somehow I can't help but to think that Karrine "Superhead" Steffans must be happy she wrote a book.

“The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

“the US government should actively support the adult industry's survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people."

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

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Now, like a lot of people, you're probably tired of people asking for bailout after bailout. But when you have nowhere else to turn, but to the gate keepers of this whole mess, what do you expect. All jokes aside, I think they should be bailed out; give them the $5 billion. The financial industry got one, and so did the auto industry. I mean who's gonna be next: drug dealers?

Hell, back in September everyone was crying "what about Main St." Well, here it is; Main St. has come a knocking (no pun intended of course). Hey, at least if the gov't approves we can get an orgasm out of the deal unlike the screwing we've taken thus far from the banking industry after they got theirs? Instead of the now infamous Spa Days those CEO's got, we the people will continue to be gratified by the usage of midgets on film; I'm sure they'd appreciate it; that sideshow at the circus thing must be old by now.

Besides, its hard enough finding jobs as is for regular people. Adding a bunch of unemployed, "I only have a GED , but I'm still paying for my breast implants" chicks would be devastating. Sure they could probably go back to stripping, but who in the hell has money to tip or make it rain these days? Shoot, the Dallas Cowboys just cut Pacman Jones, and Elliot Spitzer don't frequent the scenes like he used to, and those closet freak republicans are all now in hiding. And besides, chicks are gettin naked for free on Myspace. If anything, they should bailout the porn industry to help Mr. Marcus. If they don't, I sincerely doubt that brother will be able to find another job which will allow him to wear a hat 24/7.

Oh, and speaking of porn...

In thought this was funny....