Thursday, May 20, 2010

But, she was HOT!

[Editor's Note: The following comes from a relatively new blogger in the blogosphere. Her name is Joanna and I found the following post from her blog My Name is JuJuBe, to be thought provoking. Do check it out as well as her site, will ya?]

The other day I was speaking to a male friend, and asked him when he lost his virginity. He told me he was 8 years old the first time he had sex with a 16 year old girl. So, I said “In other words, you were molested” but he vehemently denied it. He said he is the one who made the first move. Now, I remember when I was young I had a very strong curiosity about sex. By the time I was 11, I was flirting with men in their late teens are early twenties, even making advances on one man who worked at a record store. So, I can understand that he was curious as a child, and was interested in finding out more about sex. BUT, if the man at the record store had RESPONDED to my advances, he would have been a child molester. To me, a 16 year old girl who has sex with an 8 year old boy is just as much a predator as a teenage boy who has sex with a little girl. I asked this man how he would feel if a teenage girl had sex with his 8 year old son. He said he would have no problem with it. So, I turned it around and asked what he would do if a teenage boy had sex with his daughter, and he said he would be out for blood.

I do not understand the mindset of so many men who feel that it is OK for a woman/to prey on an underage boy. Some men even consider it something to be proud of. I remember the case of the teacher who was impregnated by her middle school student. I heard numerous men claim that is was not molestation, because “She was a hot teacher!” Imagine the outrage if that had been a middle school girl having sex with her teacher!! An 8 year old boy who is sexually assaulted by a teenage girl or a grown woman is still a victim. He will still have issues revolving around sex throughout his life. People seem to think boys are immune to the psychological damage cause by molestation as long as the molester is a female. Not true.

I had another friend who also revealed to me he was raped by a teenage babysitter when he was a child. He grew up thinking it was OK for an older individual to have sex with a child, and ended up dating a teen when he was in his early 20s. He finally got therapeutic intervention and ended the inappropriate relationship before it became sexual. He still has trust issues and suffers from an addiction that started at a young age. I firmly believe many of his problems are rooted in his early exposure to inappropriate sexual behavior. He is just as much a victim as a little girl who is raped by a teenage boy. But, I seem to meet a lot of men who think having sex as a child with an older woman as a badge of honor.

When Taylor Lautner was 17, a 40 year old female fan stripped off her panties and asked him to autograph them. Imagine the outrage if a grown man had approached Miley Cyrus and stripped in front of her! Why do we not feel it necessary to protect young boys the same way we protect young girls? Some say boys are more sexual than girls, so it is Ok for older women to have their way with them. This is patently ridiculous! Would anyone (aside from a child predator) claim that it is Ok to have sex with an underage girl if she wants it?? Can someone PLEASE help me understand the mentality that says it is OK for a little boy to be victimized by a predator, as long as the predator is female, and “hot”???


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