Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Cisco Kid was a Friend of Mine: Forget Building a Border Fence, Let's Put a Dome Over America

According to recent polling, most Americans support Arizona's new immigration law. And why would they feel this way? Well, that's easy. They simply associate the "illegal" portion of the term "illegal immigrant", to unlawfulness, or the unlawful behaviors of said immigrant. Keepin' it real, this has been a longtime racially stereotypical mainstream acceptance associated with people of color; or more specifically in this case: Mexicans. Yep, and the only acceptable Mexican in Arizona, is Brad Pitt.

Look, the only people committing crimes in this country are illegal Mexican immigrants, right? Yes, and this is nothing new; they even made a television series back in the day which alluded to this very premise, called The Cisco Kid. When you have a television show that depicts two Mexican Desperadoes riding around toting automatic weapons in guitar cases, what do you expect?

And then there's that whole Mexican drug war/unsecured border thing happening that we hear about in the news everyday. Obviously anyone paying attention to these news stories are going to believe that all Messikans are coked out drug runners; which is actually true by the way. Which, is exactly the reason we need to forget about building a secure border fence, and instead, work on putting a dome over the entire country. Hell, we could even have a retractable roof like the new Dallas Cowboys stadium even!

That said, why wouldn't the majority of Americans appreciate the new Arizona law, which coincidentally, is being considered by other states? I mean, we gotta clamp down on these criminals or else we'll be overrun by hoards of ruthless Tony Montana wannabes, right?  OK, so I know Tony Montana was Cuban; but, we all know that Cuba, just like Puerto Rico, is a small village in Mexico, right? The important thing here, is that the last thing we need is for us all to have to learn Spanish in order to be able to purchase an occasional sack of weed.

So with all of that said above, and given the current climate of the threat of illegal Mexican immigrants who just might be an Al Queda splinter cell. It's no coincidence that Federal Agents, in an attempt to not seem soft on crime, and illegal immigrant friendly, did the following last week. Ironically, this all went down one day before last Saturday's May Day protest rallies all across the country. I say lock them all up, and build a wall dammit:
ATLANTA (AP) - Federal agents say they have arrested 596 immigrants with criminal records during a three-day immigration enforcement sweep across the Southeast.

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials said Friday that the operation, dubbed Operation Cross Check, was the largest ever conducted by the agency targeting foreign nationals convicted of crimes. They said the immigrants have already served their sentences and authorities will now seek to deport them.

Atlanta ICE Field Director Felicia Skinner says that "communities around the Southeast are safer than they were before" as a result. She said three of the people arrested this week had been convicted of murder and 144 were convicted on assault charges.
Don't you feel safer now that you know this? Yep, at least we can say that this week, little old ladies can safely walk the streets again. You gotta admit, being elderly, and not having to worry about being hit in the head and robbed by a Mexican, is a welcomed feeling. I mean, I'd take worrying about death panels over that any day if I were an elderly person.

Yep, and did you see where they caught three people who had been convicted of murder? Uh-huh, those Mexicans kill you know? John F. Kennedy assassination? A Mexican. Mratin Luther King Jr.? Killed by a Mexican. The Oklahoma City bombing? Mexican. Biggie and Tupac? Um, hello! The BP Gulf oil spill? Shit, I'm pretty sure Bernie Madoff is Mexican too.

So look, anybody who tells you that the Arizona immigration law is racist, and spews turds from the mouth as they babble something about racial profiling? You be sure and correct them, and be sure to let them know that there's nothing racial about "effective policing" practices. Yes, and don't pay any attention to anyone who tells you anything about the positive effects of Comprehensive Immigration Reform on our economy either.

Those people who say that are liable to say something stupid like "globalization" has something to do with creating the problem that is the presence of the Mexican criminal element in the country. The truth is, this country would be a better, and safer place without Mexicans. And, as jacked up as is the unemployment crisis right now? I'm pretty sure white folks would be glad to get back the opportunity to stand outside of Home Depot in hopes of finding work at those cheap prices.

Lou Dobbs 2012!

NOTE: If you agree with anything I said above, drink 5 cups of warm bleach, and kill yourself.


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