LETS VOTE FOR MICKEY MOUSE

Putting racial bias aside, with Obama being a black man as myself, a man who I consider a thinking man, you gotta love the critics. You see, I think there is a fear within the populace of a black man becoming president. More so than him being just black, I think the fear is hearkened because of his intelligence, his profession and his educational level. The way I see it, they're afraid of an intelligent black man having that much power. Its like Obama's sucess would be an insult to all bumb nigger jokes.

This would explain the blind support given to the McCain-Palin ticket. Clearly, as evidenced by McCain camp, there's a lack of vision for the future of this country. There's level of ambiguity as to what exactly John McCain is going to do for America. And the irony of this, is that he uses the phrase "Country First" as his battle cry. I guess if you're a mindless fool, or covered in wool, you'll be easily sold by this. If you're gonna make "Country First" your slogan, isn't it a good idea to judge the strength of your country by the number of people struggling to stay afloat? Or maybe even the number of people currently living below the poverty level? To me, that's a better measuring stick rather than the number of wealthy people this country has produced. This is why I'm sold on the change Obama proposes. To me, putting your "Country First" has to mean a change, or a shift in paradigm. A shift much needed from the way things currently are in the good ole U S of A. I'm sorry, but Pork Barrel Spending has nothing to do with the current 6% unemployment rate, or with milk being $4 per gallon.

I'm a family man, and I love my family as do most of you reading this; my family is important to me. My family is so important that I put them first. Whatever decisions I make, has an impact on them as much as it does me directly or indirectly. This is what I want to see from my president, or the guy I'm supposed to trust to have my best interest at heart; my best interest being my family. To me, Country First is as synonymous as Family First. And I'm not gonna lie, I feel good when I get hugs from my family, and Barack Obama gives me that type of comfort right now in comparison to the efforts of John McCain with his campaign. Most American families are having a hard time trying to stay above water; me and mine included. And I'm sorry, but I don't see, hear or feel any hope for the future of my family from John McCain.

Some of you may say that I'm just biased because Obama is black. That's not so, because up until now, me and my family (i.e. Black people) have been supporting and voting for white candidates since we were afforded the right to vote. Being able to vote, though insignificant to some, gives you the claim to being a part of the democratic process. Voting is as American as apple pie, and many people have died to ensure this right. You may not like whats happening in this great nation of ours, but through the democratic process, one has the ability to affect change. You may not like your options as far as candidates are concerned, but is NOT voting, or a protest vote an intelligent option?

I mean, if your house was on fire would you refuse to call the fire dept. because they're known to perpetuate racist policies of not hiring blacks? Probably not. After someone breaks into your home and steals your shit while you were gone, do you decide to NOT call the police because of an N.W.A. song or what they (the police) did to Rodney King or Sean Bell? That's exactly how stupid a protest vote, or not voting at all is in my opinion. It just shows an inability to think critically in an attempt to affect change. or even realizing that you too posses the power to affect change. Its kinda like a fat chick complaining of her thighs rubbing together, and having to wear shitty clothes because finding anything in her size is hard, but not doing anything positive to change her circumstances. Sure sitting on your ass and eating a gallon of your favorite ice cream everyday sounds better than actually getting out exercising, and sweating off a few pounds. But is that really what you wanna do? Do you really wanna live like that and have to call those racist fire fighters to come get your fat ass out of bed when you're too fat even roll over?

QUESTION: How do YOU feel about people not voting, or choosing to vote for "Mickey Mouse" in protest? Its been said that dissent is the highest form of protest, but do you think that choosing not to vote is protest enough, or even the right form of protest?

If you're gonna use your vote as a form of protest,

at least vote for this guy,

he's a little bit like John McCain, age wise,

but alot more funnier...

JOHN McCAIN HAS A TIME MACHINE

Either its science through the invention of a time machine, or Sarah Palin's voodoo priest witch hunting now turned christian minister, but some how John McCain has won the debate. Yeah, thats what they're putting out there, and the debate hasn't even taken place. Uh huh, the same debate he was trying to postpone a couple days ago. Can you believe this shit?!! The man can't operate a computer, but he invented the Blackberry? And now he's already won he debate??

McCain Wins Debate

By Chris Cillizza

Although the fate of tonight's presidential debate in Mississippi remains very much up in the air, John McCain has apparently already won it -- if you believe an Internet ad an astute reader spotted next to this piece in the online edition of the Wall Street Journal this morning.

"McCain Wins Debate!" declares the ad which features a headshot of a smiling McCain with an American flag background. Another ad spotted by our eagle-eyed observer featured a quote from McCain campaign manager Rick Davis declaring: "McCain won the debate-- hands down."

SOURCE

I don't know about you guys, but I think if this man has the ability to see into the future, he should have been able to get the winning lottery numbers like I would have done. He can surely stand to use the money for his campaign, to put out more bullshit ads full of lies. But then again, maybe he has looked into the future and saw that he lost the election. Maybe he thinks he can alter history like in a "Back To The Future" sorta way. I know he has like 9 houses. That being said, it shouldn't be too hard to find a DeLaurean in the garage of one of them.

Maybe we should start calling him John McFly.

NOW INSTEAD OF LOOKIN FLY AND ROLLIN PHAT

When you really think about it, as much you probably hate to admit it, the gov't has to bail out banks at the expense of American taxpayers. When it all comes down to it, this economy is ran on invisible money, known as credit.

This video at the end of this post was sent to me about a year ago by my brother Dusty over at Politics BS & The Tinfoil Tirades; I suggest you folks stopping bye his spot and showing him some love.The video delves deeply into our addiction to the drug of money. Believe it or not, we're all addicted, and our psyche is greatly impacted by this incessant desire to keep up with the Jones'. Trust me when I tell you....its the American way.

Our credit has become so much a way of life, that you can use the excuse of working in a resturant, dressed like a pirate, serving clam chowder and iced tea, to not going to freecreditreport.com. Which is pretty convenient, and excludes you from going into detail about stuff like...flunking out of high school. I never thought of it that way. But I guess that would, or should be the excuse adopted by everybody who is perceived as a failure in life. Yeah, I think I'll start using that one from here on out. Next time anyone asks me for advice on pretty much anything, I'm gonna tell them they should have went to freecreditreport.com. You too (fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] , remember that next time you call me and we talk about life, love, and all the other good stuff we talk about from time to time.

"Damn RiPPa, my girl just told me she was pregnant and I don't know if the baby is really mine..."

Well...

shoulda went to free credit report dot com dawgg thats your fault.

Sucks to be you!

I think I'll start with the next person who rolls up alongside me in traffic driving a raggedy ass car. That should be fun after I make them roll their window down, and turn down that loud ass music so they can hear what I have to say. Hopefully they won't get pissed and they'd acknowledge my humanitarian effort.

Hope you enjoy the video.

VIDEO LINK: "IN DEBT WE TRUST"

LETS BLAME THE NEGRO

For some reason, everytime I hear the names Fannie Mae, and Freddie Mac on the news I think of a black prostitute, and pimp team working the streets. I don't know, but for some reason I think thats them pictured above. Sounds crazy I know, but hey, my mind works like that from time to time. I know their outfits are kinda crazy, but when you're trying to attract minority (i.e. black) business, you have to look the part.

The funny thing about all of this, is that they're now under investigation by the FBI. Which is pretty typical of black people who are sucessful and earn money outside of the realm the expectations of America. But suddenly, the gov't wants to give them some love, and even subsidize...oops, I meant bail out these investment banks in the wake of the mortgage meltdown.
At the expense of taxpayers the gov't has all but hand these institutions blank checks. And who's to blame for all of this? Black people. Thats right, minorities are the ones to blame for this problem. If only these people held up their end of the bargain, and paid their mortgage, none of this would be happening. Thats why you can't give black people shit is always the sentiment.

Thank God we have FOX NEWS CHANNEL to set the record straight via Neil Cavuto. While everybody has been running around paranoid of the impending doom. My good buddy Neil, has set the record straight, and spoke truth to power. Recently, on his show, in a heated exchange with one of his guests, who happened to be a Congressman, he asserted that Congress should have warned Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac about giving those home loans to black people. In his own words, he said it was the fault of Congress for pushing the idea of minority home ownership. If only there was more truth coming from the mainstream media, the American people may not be so critical of their government. Thank you Fox News Channel. The people who say you guys are racist are so wrong about you.

So what owning a home is paramount to the American dream. That shit was not meant for Black people. Thats right, us negroes were meant to be renters, or live in the projects. I mean hell, why else would they expect us to want to be home owners? The American Indians have been reduced to living on reservations, and probably still living in tents. Why would they expect us to be forward thinking, or feel like we're a part of a country which was so gracious to invite us here to do jobs for free.

Look, Neil is right, Black people need to stop it with the victim stuff. Instead, they need to stop putting their utilities, and credit cards in the names of their 7yr old kids. Its time for Black America to take some responsibility for what has happened in this country, with the state of the economy as it is today. Predatory lending my ass. Those banks were trying to do negroes a favor, and like usual, they betrayed the trust of the hands that fed them.

Thanks Neil...

You're a true American Hero.





GIVE THAT MAN A KLONDIKE BAR

PLEASE DON'T LET WARREN SAPP BE GAY?

Ok look, no more retired football players on "Dancing With The Stars". OK? Look, I don't watch the show, but I watch football. After I got thru watching the New York Jets on Monday night football, and watching Brett Favre lose; yeah I'm not happy right now. And after watching the Packers lose the night before to the Cowboys, I turn on to the NFL Network to play catchup on this past weeks games, and interviews. And what comes on my TV screen? Warren Sapp dancing. No, not that quarterback sack dance for which he was famous for doing when he played. The dude was doing the cha cha. And no, not the ghetto hokie pokey, cha cha slide, that negroes won't let die either. The man was dressed in a suit and dancing...ballroom style. He's a pretty big guy, and I'm sure he's light on his feet, as some of us are. But I think he set us big dudes who wish they played in the NFL back a few years. You can expect newly retired NFL players to be doing commentary on a game, but not ballroom dancing?!!

Shit, I remember when Herschel Walker (who played for the Cowboys at the time) did ballet in the off season. And I could remember dudes thinking it was gay. Actually, I still think there are rumors about Herschel being gay after that deal. But he did study ballet in college. Not that ballet is gay. Nope, you'll never hear me say that. But seeing your once favorite NFL player dance around on TV is kinda gay in my book. Its almost as messed up as seeing your favorite pornstar retire, and start preaching on TV on Sunday morning. But hey, I guess this is just white people's way of getting back at us for laughing at them for having no rythm.

I wanna remember Warren Sapp for being the terror he was to opposing quarterbacks on the field. And now all of that is lost. Now he's the fat gay looking cha cha man. Seriously, I hope he gets voted off real soon, and not go the distance like Emmit Smith did a couple years ago on the show. That shit wasn't hot in the streets. Maybe it was for soccer moms, and white people watching across the country. But please believe, the brothas wasn't feelin it in the streets, or in the locker room. When Jerry Rice did it ( I think he was the first) it was cool I guess. I mean, no homo radars went off or anything. But here we are 3 weeks into the NFL football season, and we have Warren Sapp.

*sigh*

Nothing against gay men, but I don't wanna think that "Dancing With The Stars" has become the coming out of the closet move for former NFL players. Whats next, John Amaechi, or Dennis Rodman wearing a wedding dress dancing together, doing the mambo? I'm sorry, but that stuff might be cool for any athlete other than a football player, but after seeing Warren dance, this shit has to stop. Retired rapper Master P did it a couple seasons ago, and I was shocked that he did. But I guess he'll do anything to try and stay in the limelight. Hell we figured that shit out real quick when he went from rapping to Nickelodeon. Maybe next season they'll have a gay rapper. Suddenly LL Cool J comes to mind. I mean hell, he ain't doin shit else otherwise, and I doubt the ladies are cheking for him like they used to. Besides, LL Cool J doesn't have a sack record, or a Superbowl ring like my man Warren, and his gay lick lipping should be perfect for the show.

THIS RACISM SHIT IS HILARIOUS

Can you believe that money was spent at Stanford, to do research via a poll of about 2700 white people on race? More specifically, on race being a factor in their choice of candidate? Ok fuck it, lemme make it real simple: they asked a bunch of white people how they felt about Obama being president given his melanin affliction. About 40% of them (who were all democrats) said that this was an issue for them. Its enough of an issue that they plan to vote for John McCain. Really? Hmmm, I guess being a democrat automatically makes you sympathetic to black people. Lemme guess, all white democrats are supposed to be magically black now because of Barack Obama? Damn. Who knew?

Some of you think I'm probably crazy for always blogging about racial issues. Ha! Shit, the white folks paid money, did a study, to tell you what most of us have known, or have been saying for only the last 400yrs since Al Gore invented the internet.

Did you notice the timing of the press release? They waited until McCain had a shitty week in the polls against Obama with the news of the current economic crisis. Is it me, or did they just do that to remind folks that Obama is black, and possibly incompetent to lead the free world? Oh well, maybe I'm just trippin as usual.

Oh well...

enough of this race shit...

lets have a good laugh at the expene of...

PAUL MOONEY

SPERM DONORS, SPERM BANKS & CHILD SUPPORT

After my parents divorced way back in 19..whenever, my dad never paid child support. My mom never took him to court, nor did she ever push the issue. A part of me was pissed for a long time that she didn't because I felt like we went without when it didn't have to be that way. I believe my mother's pride was behind her not asking for anything from him. Without going into details, I'm sure you can get the picture. She put up with Lotta bullshit, he had different women, they got divorced. Now, my mom did struggle to hold it together, and it was only as an adult looking back that I'm able to see that. I used to think that she was selfish for not taking him to court for anything; I felt like she was only thinking about herself instead of my brothers and I. But you know what? We all turned out pretty good. I believe just by her doing that, it taught us the lesson of not relying on anybody for anything. My dad rarely volunteered to assist financially if he ever did at all. That also pissed me off for a long time through my teen years. I felt like he was a selfish muthafucka who really didn't care. I carried this image of him in my head for years. It wasn't until recently that I actually got over it.

Now that scenario I explained comes from me, the kid of two divorced parents. But the shit is a little bit different from the norm. I say that because 70% of childern are born out of wedlock. And often, the custodial parent is the female. I'm all about a man being a man and taking care of his kids. And when I say that, I'm not just speaking just from a financial stanpoint. I believe that being a father requires alot more than just signing a check. However, I have a problem with the court saying, "hey dude, if you don't pay your child support we'll throw your ass in jail!" Ultimately I don't think that the court cares about my kid at all. Truthfully, I think them enforcing child support orders are their way of protecting themselves or getting some payback (if you will) for the kids that benefit from the welfare system. Its as though its their own insurance policy. I mean when you break it down, who benefits? The system does! Not the mother, not the kids! But the system does. They do because it means that if all men paid their child support, their would be no need for welfare. When a man gets thrown in jail for non payment, who benefits? Damn sure aint the mother, damn sure aint the kid! So who benefits? The system does! The state (who issues welfare) gets paid per locked up muthafucka! So you see, that's why its a win win situation for them, and definitely not for the parties involved, be it the mother, father or kid(s).

And lets be honest, the majority of the people who go to jail for child support are poor. When I say poor I'm also referring to being poorly educated. With 70% of kids being born out of wedlock I'm pretty sure that the majority of those parents are not educated past high school. So its as though poor people are punished for having kids. Yeah poor people are not supposed to have kids because it just leads to more poor people in this country. That's how I see it and I think its bullshit. But what can we do, huh? Maybe if men had verbal disclaimers this wouldn't be a problem. I mean if more men said, "hey listen umm, I know we about to fuck and all but I want you to know that if you get pregnant I'm not gonna take care of the kid...I got more bitches to holla at." Upon hearing this hopefully the woman wouldn't have sex with the guy. And as a result, there wouldn't be unwanted pregancies, kids given up for adoption, abortions, women being mad at the father of their kid(s), women thinking that niggas aint shit and men going to jail because they failed the population control test!

I get disgusted when I hear women refer to the father of their kids as "sperm donors". I've even heard a few women refer to them this way in the company of their kids. The women who say that need to think before saying those words, because it sure says alot about her character more so than the man she CHOSE to have sex with. If he's a sperm donor, doesn't that make you a sprem bank? How about explaining to your kid that daddy's not around because mommy was a sperm bank. When I hear a woman say that its as though she's saying, "boy was I an idiot!" I think child support should be for couples who dissolve their marriages rather than unwed individuals.

What do you think ?

INCOME TAX: TO PAY OR NOT TO PAY

I was over at my boy friends blog the other day talking, and going back and forth about the idea of taxes in this country. Its been a pretty hot topic for me, as I was also engaged in a similar discussion concerning Barack Obama's tax proposal with another aquaintance. Now, for the record, I wanna say that I agree with Obama's proposal as compared to John McCain's. I say that because under Obama's proposal, more of the working class stand to benefit, more than they have currently with the Bush tax cuts in place. In case you didn't know, the tax burden has always fallen heavily on the middle class or the working poor as they should be known. Real wages have struggled to keep up with inflation, and as a result, the disposable income of the middle class has shrunk considerably.

But that's not what this blog is about. Feel free if you like to share your take on both tax proposals, or more specifically which is more effective, or even more equitable. What this blog has to with is the income tax. Yes, the tax that each of us, through deductions from our paychecks, give so graciously to our government. Joe Biden recently said that paying taxes is patriotic, but is it really? Sure our taxes go towards many necessary programs, as they do the stupid things like...WAR! But is it constitutional to pay an income tax? In other words, is there a law which requires that we pay an income tax?

This has been an ongoing debate for years now, and to be honest, I'm on the side of the people who say that its not. I think most of us think that we're required by law to pay an income tax because, well, that's just what you're supposed to do. But did you know that there isn't a law written in the constitution or otherwise which requires us to pay an income tax? Yeah, I know it sounds crazy because people go to prison for TAX EVASION all the time. But do you really know the definition of tax evasion?

"tax evasion is the general term for efforts by individuals, firms, trusts and other entities to evade taxes by illegal means. Tax evasion usually entails taxpayers deliberately misrepresenting or concealing the true state of their affairs to the tax authorities to reduce their tax liability, and includes, in particular, dishonest tax reporting (such as declaring less income, profits or gains than actually earned; or overstating deductions."

Did you get that? Tax evasion is the illegal misrepresentation or dishonest reporting of one's affairs. In other words, you can't fill out a W-4 and lie to the gov't. You can if you want, but its illegal. That's what people (mostly rich people or business owners) go to prison for. They had a choice to pay taxes, but they reported erroneous information. I can bet you that none of you reading this can provide me, or point me in the direction of the law which states that we have to pay an income tax, or have money witheld from our earnings to give to our government. I think that the ignorance of the masses have once again been taken advantage of.

Check this out...

IF YOU DON'T WATCH THIS YOU'RE MISSING OUT

So while we argue or debate about who's tax proposal is best, we for the most part are ignorant to the law. And in our ignorance, we get suckered by our government like always. Don't get me wrong, its not your fault. I was as ignorant as you were for years, but not anymore. You see, paying your "income tax" is a choice as much as anything else. Its a choice which one suffers no consequence. You can choose to "do your part" by paying taxes, as equally as you can choose not to pay it. Yes, its hard to overcome death and taxes, as its bee said. Shit, we can hardly go a day without paying a tax on a purchase. You can't even get buried without paying a tax on your funeral. But with a little bit of knowledge through research, you can avoid paying an "income tax" if you so desire.

You can choose to agree with what I say, or disagree; hey its your choice; this is America, you're free to be ignorant. But just remember, there are no free lunches. And even in ignorance, one stands to pay a price. Now watch this video below (its alot shorter than the one above) to gain some understanding of what I mean. When you get done, do yourself a favor, pass it on to your friends and family. They may think you're a loon, but then again, they may one day thank you for it.

I'M GLAD I WAS BORN WHEN I WAS

Sometimes I think that I'm pretty fortunate to have been born when I was. I was born in 1970 and I used to wonder what it'd be like to have been born and grow up in an earlier time. But then I remember that if that had happened, as I am a dark-skinned person, I would most likely have been either a slave or routinely treated as a second-class citizen. After all, the origins of the enslavement of black people go way beyond mid-eighteenth century America. So yeah, when I look at it that way, I'm glad that I wasn't. Besides... "Toby" is just a fucked up name for anyone, slave or not.

White people of Earth, listen to me. Being brown (or in your case, orange) is not all it's cracked up to be. A lot of the time, it can be a real hassle. Well, unless you're not in a hurry to get somewhere when the cops pull you over. Stop now before you kill yourself AND your credit score. Don't let your white guilt be the catalyst or your motivation to get tanned as you do. Just be nice to us colored folks, give us jobs or maybe even stock tips. Don't worry, we'll still be cool, and we'll still sell you drugs. Besides, getting tasered by the police isn't as cool in real life as it looks on TV.

WEAPONS OF ASS DESTRUCTION

So George Bush lied again. Surprised? Nope! Thats just what the fucker has been doing for years. Remember those weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Yeah, the ones that were never there? Turns out, they didn't mysteriously appear in Iran! For the last two years or so, Bush has been trying to convince the world that Iran has the capability to build a nuclear bomb. You know, the same Iran who backs those guys who throw rocks at tanks? Yeah, the same Iran who's sophistication is responsible for IED's (improvised explosive devices) in Iraq; yeah those guys. U.S. intelligence even released a report that informed the public that contrary to what Bush has been saying, Iran does NOT posses any nuclear technology, nor are they building a bomb. It turns out, that Bush knew about this since 2003! But instead, to gain support for the war in Iraq, or to justify his actions in Iraq, he had the public believe that Iran was working on something "evil". And now we have John "Grandpa Moses" McCain and Sarah "I'm on a mission from God" Palin, shoring up support by painting the picture of Iran being a threat.

What if Bush's popularity was up and he gained support to make a move on Iran? I mean, really, what if?!! Thats exactly what he did with Iraq! Its really sad that some people are too stubborn to admit that they were foolish in supporting this man and his war on terror. Look people, one lie always leads to more lies. Usually when you tell a lie, you have to tell more lies to cover up your story. If you don't believe me, think Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski, or anybody you've seen busted on "Cheaters". I mean, lets be honest, we've all lied in our lives. Fortunately for most of us, our lies have not led to death and destruction combined with a 700 billion dollar tab at the local bar or strip club.

I don't know about you people, but don't you see a pattern since George Bush has been elected? Hell, the election itself was a lie, Al Queda and Bin Laden flying planes into the World Trade Center was a lie, Sadam Hussein having weapons of mass destruction in Iraq was a lie, and now this!!! Hell, I'm not sure if the guys name is George W. Bush anymore!!! Look, I know its almost 2009, and his reign of bullshit is almost over; I know this! I know that there's nothing we can do now to change what he has already done to the American public; thats not the point of this blog. However, we can be very careful of the next person we elect to the White House in November. For the love of everything good in our lives, please do not elect another "weapon of ass destruction". I'm sorry folks, but my anal sphincter just can't take it anymore.

MIDGET PENIS

Is Mario a Midget? When he eats the mushrooms, does he become regular size or turns into a giant? If I were a midget, should I be offended by the Mario concept? Do these folks at Nintendo think that my “little people” problem, that I was most probably born with, is something that can be joked about? I mean how many mushrooms do they expect us midgets to eat before we grow to a regular size? And what the heck is regular size? I’m guessing its average… are midget people taken into account when making this global average? And most importantly, who the hell is sitting somewhere measuring people to make this average?

I think our doctors are leaking information from our files to make a little extra money on the side. That would explain the luxury cars and cottages. What will they leak out next? I don't know why or how but I've had this "midget curiosity disorder" for quite some time. Some people think its politically incorrect to refer to them as midgets. But I believe in calling them as I see them. I mean hell I don't get offended when people who don't know me refer to me as "Big Daddy". I mean hey I am a big dude!! Maybe I'm wrong? Oh well.

Just for the record, just in case you were wondering, I have a small penis. Yup I sure do! See my whole adult life I've had a complex about my penis size. Was it women, or maybe it was society? Either way, us men walk around everyday wondering if we're adequately equipped. Other than the dudes we've seen in porn, we really have no one else to compare ourselves to. I mean we can't trust you chicks to tell us the truth. I mean no woman will ever say that you have a little dick to your face. Nope, no lady will ever do that! I mean no grown woman will ruin the mood when she sees a guys dick for the first time and say, "damn dude, my last boyfriend was bigger than you!" I mean why would she, she's just as horny as you are. So you see, we never have somebody or some size to compare ourselves with. And that's why I always fuck in the dark for the first few times.

Think about it, why do you think the full size SUV (think Escalade) became popular? Where do you think the whole machismo thing comes from? It's just a front! The macho dude is actually communicating his inner penile insecurities. I mean, he's not ever gonna call his homeboy and ask him to come over so they can compare dick sizes. Instead, he has this macho thing going. Its his way of sending the signal to chicks (and secretly his homeboys) that he has a big dick. Now, he might actually have a big dick, but like I said, he has nothing to compare it to. I think the last grown man dick I ever saw was my dad's when I was a kid, and that really fucked me up! Could you imagine a 6yr old penis compared to a grown man's penis? It left me feeling like "damn my shit is small!" And still to this day, I think my dick is the same size. From reading magazines I have an idea as to what average is. But who really knows? They never had every grown man line up and take measurements. Come to think about it, that's probably what they need to do. Maybe that would put an end to all this macho shit. This way we'd all know how we REALLY measure up. I wonder if females walk around wondering about the size of the next chicks vagina?

I know us men do.

LAST NIGHT, I BECAME A ROACH

Have you ever walked in on a roach? Its cool, for you to think to yourself, "Hell naww RiPPa, I ain't got no roaches in my house!" Its cool, I understand, roaches are an embarrassment. But fuck your pride, you have walked in on a roach in your house before, so stop being in denial.

OK, back to the point of this blog...

So, do you remember what it was like walking in on a roach? When walking into a dark room, upon the flip of a light switch, the roach always ran when exposed. But do you remember what the roach did when you walked into a well lit room, only to find it on the wall or where ever? I dunno about your roaches, but the roaches I know about, would always freeze. They would stop dead in their tracks and pretend that they were invisible. They do that to throw us off. Its as though, by them not moving we'd ignore them. Yeah, by doing this, we'd forget that they're even there. Sounds stupid doesn't it? Especially considering that you'd always kill the roach, right?

Well last night around 3am, I felt like that roach on the wall. Lemme explain. After an episode of hot passionate sex with my wife, we laid naked in the arms of one another talking about intimate things. Between the talk and me trying to catch my breath, I noticed my soon to be 1yr old pop up her head in her crib to look across the room at us. I wasn't wearing my glasses, so I couldn't see clearly, but I know it was her little head. So what did I do? I became a roach. I tried to freeze like I was that roach on the wall. I even went as far as to tell my wife to be quiet and stay still. For some reason, I thought by doing that she'd go back to sleep, and I'd be able to get some more good loving. The funny thing, is that we were whispering and being quiet the whole time we were engaged. Now I have to wonder if her head popped up while I wasn't looking while we were....umm, well, you get the picture.

I wish I could have had it another way, but having a small child in the room asleep doesn't allow for that, and I'd be damned if I wasn't gonna get some. You might call me a bad parent for having sex with my kid in the room, and I can understand that. But you don't know Ashley like my wife and I know her. You see, my baby girl is whats known as a cock-blocker. You know, that kid who will do everything in its power to prevent their parents from having sex? Yeah, thats her. I'm not kidding, since she's gotten older, having sex has become a secret mission for us. You'd think we work for the C.I.A. as much as we have to sneak and pick our spots. And even in doing so, there have been many a failed mission. I promise you, its like the kid knows what the hell she's doing as a counter operative.

I don't remember my oldest who is now 15yrs old being like that when she was a baby. But this girl? I swear, its like her job; you'd think she was getting a check. Every time we plan our intimate moments...BOOM, she pops up. She'll even go as far as to cry to get into the bed with us. To which I give in being the sucker of a dad that I am. You might think I'm playing, but this kid is like human birth control. For which, I guess I could say that I'm grateful. Lord knows that we can't afford another child right now, and I guess she knows that as well. Hopefully this is something that she'll soon outgrow. But I'm afraid that its probably gonna take some time for that since she's attached to me the way she is. She's daddy's little girl and I love her, but something has to give real soon.

The stupid thing, is that I thought my roach move would hold long enough for her to go back to bed. Well, it didn't work. She spit out her pacifier, and started crying which forced us to get dressed, get her out of her crib and have her get into the bed with us. So much for round two last night. Hell, I'm just glad that I got a chance for round one. Being married, and having kids is cool and all, but this is the type of stuff that they never tell you about. It kinda makes me wonder how in the world do some people have kids back to back like they do. Not that I want kids back to back. Shit, I just wanna be able to practice back to back without the cock-blocker's participation.

YOU CAN JUST CALL ME AL BUNDY

WAFFLES: THE NEW FRIED CHICKEN

So, its wrong to allegedly refer to the white woman as a pig in lipstick, but its cool to put the Black man on a box of waffle cereal and sell it for $10 a box at a conservative event promoting family values? I would call this hypocrisy coming from the republican party, but hey, everybody (black) knows the rules: never fuck with white women.

Now I laughed at the New Yorkers depiction of my boy Barry O, and his wife a couple months ago because it was satire. People were outraged, but hey, its the New Yorker, what else would you expect. I mean, it would be like going to see a Mel Brooks movie expecting to laugh, and walking out crying from sadness; its just not gonna happen. But coming from a conservative function? The Family Research Council? This is what you teach your kids??

WASHINGTON (AP) - Activists at a conservative political forum snapped up boxes
of waffle mix depicting Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama as a
racial stereotype on its front and wearing Arab-like headdress on its top flap.

Values Voter Summit organizers cut off sales of Obama Waffles boxes on
Saturday, saying they had not realized the boxes displayed "offensive material."
The summit and the exhibit hall where the boxes were sold had been open since
Thursday afternoon.

The box was meant as political satire, said Mark Whitlock and Bob DeMoss, two writers from Franklin, Tenn., who created the mix. They sold it for $10 a box from a rented booth at the summit sponsored by the lobbying arm of the Family Research Council.

SOURCE

I'M GLAD IT WASN'T FRIED CHICKEN

So not only is Obama a non-pork eating muslim, he eats waffles? Yeah, that's what I got out of that. Sadly, the two men responsible for this are from Tennessee where I live. The same state that gave Harold Ford, a black man from Memphis, a hard time with racially charged commercials when he ran for the senate not too long ago (watch it here). Ironically, it was a democratic congressman from Memphis Tn (Steve Cohen) who's Jewish, who was responsible for authoring the Bill for the U.S. apology of slavery, and Jim Crow, which passed recently.

Well damn, and I thought this was supposed to be a post-racial society we live in. I mean, thats what they all say since there's a Black man making a successful run for the presidency? They even took a shot at Muslims by depicting him as a muslim with head gear on the top of the box. And they even took it a step further by depicting him as a mexican on the back of the box wearing a sombrero. The picture was above a recipe for "Open Border Fiesta Waffles" and it said you can serve "four more illegal aliens...while waiting on these zesty treats to invade your home, why not learn a foreign language? "

Wow!

I can't help but to think that Ted "Mr. Law & Order" Thompson, former 2008 presidential candidate, and former senator from the great state of Tennesse had something to do with this. But then again, I don't think he's stupid enough to try and pull this off and sabotage his acting career. On second thought, this is the south, and the good ole boy network is still alive and well. I swear, this shit is getting uglier as we get closer to November 4th's election date.

As fucked up as this move was, it could have been worse. They could have depicted him eating fried chicken on a T-Shirt, and sold it for $20 a pop. As bad as they need money for this campaign, I'm surprised they didn't do it, after hearing that Obama raised $66 million dollars in August. Coming from conservatives, it just shows that they're desperate, and have nothing to offer by way of change as they say. This one's not funny in my book folks. But you know what they say, you can put lipstick on a pig and its still would be a republican.

WHATS IKE GOT TO DO, GOT TO DO WITH IT

Here we go again. Lets blame the Black guy. Gas prices have shot up overnight because of a hurricane named Ike Turner. Yeah, big bad Ike. Not the speculators, but the Black guy.

My wife just walked in bitching about gas prices making a dramatic jump from this morning, all because of the hurricane. Personally, I think its a bunch of bullshit. Shit, let the fuckin oil rigs blow down first. But hey, speculators can be a bitch. Assisting the "speculators" are the racist motivated antics of the National Weather Service. I told you people last week that they were racist, but you probably thought I was a loon.

Well, I was watching the hurricane "pre-game show" last night, and I heard the warning of eminent death if folks didn't evacuate. Did you hear me? Death! Did they say that last week to the people in New Orleans when it was Gustav last week? No they didn't. And Gustav was of the same intensity, as Ike; currently, its a category 2 as was Gustav just before it made landfall. But nooooo, Ike is gonna be more destructive, and there's the danger of DEATH if you don't evacuate. Sure its more destructive when its due to hit Texas (i.e. George Bush country), and not New Orleans.

In case you didn't know, Ike Turner is a Black man and he sure knows how to beat up women, and mush cake in their faces. Oh yeah, and lets not forget the drugs. Never mind him being in the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame, and a pioneer in the music industry. Yeah, forget about that shit, lets scare the shit outta white people, drive up gas prices, all in the name of Ike's dark side. Yeah, lets use Ike one more time to make money the way they did when he was a musician recording for this white dude from Memphis. No, not the Black King, the white one with the big mansion. Maybe you think I'm off base, or reaching with this as usual. But I'm sure Tina Turner would agree with me. But then again, it could just be another mission from God as is the war in Iraq.

"Eat the cake Anna Mae!!"

I'M NO TERRORIST EXPERT BUT...

Recognize this guy? That's Zacarias Moussaoui. He was sentenced to life in prison for his role in the 9/11 attacks here in the states. Personally, I think he's just a fall guy. He may have helped plan it, but lets quit calling him the 20th hijacker!!!!

He was supposedly the 20th Hijacker but he didn't show. What happened? Did he show up late? Forget to set his alarm clock? You'd think one of the other 19 hijackers on the way to the airport would've said...

"Hey where's the Charles Barkley looking guy."

No Roll Call ? No head Count? No Al Queda Buddy System? I remember a 6th grade field trip to the firestation where we couldn't leave until the teacher took a headcount on the bus. Al Quaeda doesn't have wake-up calls? He might have driven the shuttle bus to the airport for all the other terrorist's to ride but he wasn't a planned hijacker in my opinion.

Anyways, all of this is beside the point I'm trying to make. Terrorists hate America. I'm not talking about their hatred of democracy or capitalism. I'm talking about tangible reasons why they hate this country. Could you imagine the feeling in your heart if you're sitting in your 1 Bedroom apt. in Baghdad with your 34 relatives STARVING FOR FOOD, you turn on the TV and what do you see?

A hot dog eating contest!!!

We have so much food in America that we have contests to see who can eat the fastest. And do you know what most people do after these eating contests...they force themselves to throw up. If I were dead broke and I saw this, I'd get pissed too. Not "Shoot at U.S. Troops" pissed but I'd be a bit annoyed. And even if you don't jam a finger down your throat and vomit up the hot dogs, rest assured that when you do sit down to take a shit you can do it in a bathroom that has a TV in it. !!! This country has bathrooms with televisions in them. In Iraq you're lucky if your bathroom has walls around it!!! Running water? Maybe if you're a baller. But in America you can sit and eat 15 Hot Dogs in a row and then take a nice relaxing 2 hour SHIT while watching CSI: Miami.

Look I know there are plenty of conspiracy theories surrounded 9/11. And to this date they are just that...theories. They havn't been proven nor debunked, so I can't say who's right or wrong. I have my own theories and or suspicions, but that doesn't matter. The important thing is that my gov't has made me feel safer. Yes they have. So what Osama Bin Laden hasn't been caught. Our superior intelligence agency did get his limo driver. Who better to know his whereabouts than the guy who drves his strectch Hummer from cave to cave, right? After all, if it wasn't for the limo driver, I doubt they would have found Sadaam Hussien way down in the hole like the devil that he was. Its probably gonna be a matter of time that leads obtained from Bin Laden's gardener would lead to his capture.

THE LIMO DRIVER

I find comfort in all my country is doing to keep me safe. Since 9/11, I now sleep better at night knowing that our gov't has done its job by getting the 20th hijacker, and now Bin Laden's limo driver off the streets. Lord knows what next those two could have pulled off in the name of Allah. All they have to do now, is focus on the terrorists who look like this....

WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE WHEN IT COMES TO 9/11 CONSPIRACY THEORIES?

terrorism

HAVE YOU SEEN MY DADDY?

Ok, so much has been said about black men abandoning their kids. Yes, 70% of black kids grow up in homes without a father present. This would mean that 30% of kids grow up in homes with a father present. However, recent studies have shown that black men, present at home or not, are more caring, and spend time with their kids than any other ethnicity. Unfortunately, this never gets reported in the media. Some fathers do spend time with their kids.

Check this out...

MEMPHIS, TN -- A man is behind bars after leaving his
3-year-old son behind after crashing his car and then fleeing on foot.

Forty-six-year-old David Coopwood was charged with driving
under the influence and child endangerment after a minor traffic accident Sunday
night.

A police affidavit said Coopwood tried to run from the scene
but was chased down and held for authorities by two witnesses to the accident.

Coopwood is accused of leaving his son, who was not properly
restrained, sitting on the front seat of his car.

Witnesses say they boy suffered minor injuries when the car's
air bag deployed.

The boy's mother came and picked him up from the accident
scene according to police.

Coopwood later blew a .323 on a breathalyzer test.

He was charged with DUI, public intoxication, and violating
child restraint laws.

WATCH VIDEO: CLICK HERE

Ok, so this guy was drunk, and yes he abandoned his kid after wrecking the car. But hey, at least he was there with his kid, right? According to statistics, 70% of black kids wish they were as fortunate as his 3yr old kid. I dunno, maybe the dude ran because he didn't have insurance? Maybe he shoulda got GEICO with ya money?

Damn I love Memphis!

ITS THE MAN WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE

Say what you want about hip hop, love it or hate it, its never gonna die. No matter how ignorant the music may seem these days, white owned record companies are making a killing; don't let them tell you otherwise. Despite the dumbing down of the music in recent years, I'm still a fan. This is why it pains me to see rappers go to jail. Not that they're not responsible for the dumb shit that they do. But damn, how come we never hear about the pop stars, the rock stars or the people from other genres going to jail? Lemme guess, rappers are all criminals with recording contracts?

But what about the former rappers. You know, the guys who we don't hear about anymore? You know, those one hit wonders? Where are they now? Do they commit crimes? Probably not. Well, unless your name is Kwame, retired rapper turned mayor of Detroit. He was one of my favorite rappers back in the day. He was safe, he never fit the description as one of those trouble maker rappers. He rapped about his pursuit with women, parties, humor, and polka-dots. Remember him now? He was the dude who wore those fly rayon polka-dot shirts. He also rocked the high top fade with the blond streak. Remember that? If you're my age I'm sure you do. Hell, that shit was hot in the streets and I even rocked polka-dots. Kwame was never about bitches and hoes, hustlin, or even gang bangin. Like I said, he was safe, and, he was musically talented.

But like all rap careers, it had to come to and end. I was surprised to hear that he went from hip hop to politics. I always thought it was a risky move becoming the mayor of Detroit when Eminem was clearly the man. Sure Eminem is the coldest white rapper alive, and yes he's from Detroit. But you know rappers are territorial like that. How dare an old skool rapper become the mayor of Detroit especially when you were a New York polka-dot wearing rapper?!!! How dare he have a lavish party the likes of a hip hop music video, complete with strippers at the mayors mansion??!!

"8 Mile bitch!!"

But even with that said, I don't think it was Eminem who took him down. So who did it? It was the Hip Hop Police. They've been known to have an agenda when it comes to silencing rappers. But Kwame wasn't even rappin anymore. Sure he wasn't. But being named "The Hip Hop Mayor" as he was called is dangerous. I mean, if hip hop is as influential on kids today as it has been, why would it not be considered dangerous for more young people to get involved in the political process? Why would the old cronies in charge, who give no thought to our youth want a young black man to influence the youth vote the way he did? That's my theory on why they took him down.

I know I could be wrong, but this is what I think. I mean really, what did he do? He's going to jail for lying. Fuckin lying? What man do you know who gets busted cheating tells the truth? Bill Clinton lied about getting some head from an ugly fat chick, and he was impeached, but he didn't go to jail or lost his job! George Bush lied and as a result, at least 4000 American soldiers are dead. And lets not count the 1.3 million dead Iraqi's either. But Mr. Bush still has his job, and has yet to go to jail. But not Kwame. He's hip hop. He's Black, and George Bush likes Country music. And Kwame is a young black mayor, and we can't have that in politics. Shit, I feel bad for the dude. He probably would have had more luck retiring from rap and moving to Wasilla Alaska. But then again, he would probably be blamed for the pregnancy of this certain ex-mayor's 17yr old daughter. I wonder if her pregnancy would be accepted then if the father of her kid was black?

But, there you have it America, the hip hop mayor goes to jail. Yup, do all you can to destroy hip hop. Fuck it, hip hop is the blame for everything. That being said, never mind the unfairness, Kwame had to go down for lying. I just wish that there was more political consciousness in hip hop, and less booty shakin. Maybe if that were the case, Bristol Palin would not be pregnant, Kwame would still be mayor, and Barack Obama wouldn't have to denounce Ludacris' lyrics like he did a couple months ago.

Who knows. maybe all of this is bullshit. Maybe he had to go down because he had a muslim sounding name? Oh well, I wish Suge Knight wasn't as broke as he is these days. If he wasn't, it would be nice if he got Kwame out of prison like he did Tupac, and made a dope album. I say that because clearly, hip hop and politics don't mix. If I were him, I'd "keep it real" as rappers do and have a going to jail party like Lil Kim did. But this time, I'd leave the strippers out of it. That shit wouldn't look good on a BET reality series. And I damn sure wouldn't invite DMX with his crazy ass.

DEVIL'S ADVOCATE: ARE BLACKS WRONG WITH THEIR VOTE?

So as I sat here playing "Count The Black People" as I watched the RNC, it hit me: There aren't many Black Republicans. At last count, I think I saw maybe 12 of them in attendance. Why is that? Could it be that Black Republicans are on the "down low" and hiding it from the rest of us? Abraham Lincoln, who had almost the same identical political resume as Barack Obama before becoming president, freed the slaves. For that alone, you'd think there would be more Black Republicans. However, we know the truth to be different.

We also know that it took years for Blacks to gain the right to vote, and we also know the struggle for equality. Could it be that Blacks have been rooting for the wrong team? What do you think? Could it be that the Democratic party has held Black people back? Or could it be that Blacks have held themselves back by supporting the Democrats? Sure I know that there have been more Democratic black appointees in gov't than there are Republican. But just think about it: The Republicans have been running this country far longer than the Democrats have. That being said, are Blacks foolish for supporting the Democratic party?

Are the Democrats, or have the Democrats "used" Blacks as a bargaining chip without any regard when it comes to winning votes? I'm just thinking out loud about some stuff here and maybe you can help me answer some questions. Of course you don't have to be black to have an answer; honestly I'd like to hear opinions from all who reads this. Other than blacks themselves, who's responsible for holding blacks back politically? Like I said, I'm watching the RNC, and I'm trying to count the black people. And I honestly don't see an outreach for black votes from the GOP. Could it be that they don't need them? Maybe they don't. If you remember a few years ago, George Bush conveniently skipped speaking at ths NAACP National Conference.

I know I've asked many questions. And I'm sure there are many more that I can ask or could be asked. But, I see alot of rich white people who happen to be republicans, and I see alot of black people who are poor. And lets be honest, don't we all wanna be rich? But then again, very few Black people are comfortable as being labeled "uppity negroes" or "elitists" as white folks call them these days. Nor are they accepting of being labeled "Uncle Toms" if they're sucessful and vote republican. So tell me: Would Blacks be better off if we were to support the republican party the way we've unanimously supported the democrats in recent histor? What if Barack Obama was a republican? Would your opinions be different?

What say you?

BEWARE OF SNAKE OIL SALESMEN

So I've been watching these political conventions for the past two week, and you know what? Democrat or Republican, these folks are full of shit. No, not the candidates, they're trying to get elected; they have to lie to get in. Who's really full of shit are the speakers at these conventions. More specifically, the people who were once in the race via the primary stage.

I mean come on. Six months ago you were trying to convince me that you were the best person to run the country. And now today, you're a loser who didn't get nominated, and you stand before me, and try to convince me that the dude that kicked your ass is best for the country? Does that make sense? Talk about political convenience. Sheesh! Sure you're loyal to your party, and you support party interests. But really?

Could you imagine if people really did that shit in real life? Could you imagine if before asking a girl to dance at the club, you had a few dudes step forward to convince her to say yes? Could you imagine that shit?

"Hey baby, I know you told me no when I asked you to dance because my breath stinks, but dude right here has madd swagger, and dresses better than me...shit he might even be a baller...you need to dance with him baby...fuck it...you need to take him home after the club and have unprotected sex, and hope he gets you pregnant...you need to get with that...his penis is bigger than mine."

I haven't been to the club in a while, but I'm sure if I witnessed that I'd be literally rolling on the floor laughing at the loser turned salesman. Is that what's hot in the streets? I don't think any of us would think that would be a genuine endorsement. But alot of us sit and listen to the losers speak, and commend them or their endorsement. We look for them to give us that "red meat" on opposing candidates to satisfy our inner barbarian hater-ism, and we buy into them.

And we do this and forget that these clowns are losers with an agenda. They're either trying to get consideration for a job within the administration should the candidate win, or looking down the road for another run. Hillary Clinton did it, Mitt Romney did it, Mike Huckabee did it, Rudy Giuliani did it, and John McCain is doing it right now. McCain ran against George Bush and was a loser. He bucked the status quo, in an attempt to be the Maverick as they call him. But here he is sucking the dick of Bush in order to get elected. But now he wants to proclaim himself as a candidate for change.

Ha!

Politicians, Preachers and Police...

you just can't trust them.

Fuck you Rudy Giuliani....

SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT REPUBLICANS, BUT....

I told myself that I was gonna watch the RNC this week and watch it with unbiased eyes. After all, I'm neither a Democrat or a Republican. Well, to make a long story short: The shit was wack and boring as hell last night. Noticeably absent were people who look like me. Yeah, I saw a few sprinkled here and there, but I'm not sure if they were in attendance or worked at the venue. I promise you, some of those old white people the camera would focus on in the audience, looked like they used fire hoses against black people back in the 60's.

There was an obvious lack of enthusiasm unlike the DNC last week. Maybe its just me, or the fact that I haven't knowingly hung out with republicans before, but I swear, these fuckers do not know how to party. You would've thought it was a funeral for John McCain or something. Seriously, they need to talk to Diddy or hire Kid Kapri because they clearly needed a hype man. No offense, but the "Law & Order" dude wasn't it. As dead as that shit was, I can now understand why republicans are the way they are. They for the most part run around holding their butt cheeks tight. Well, unless you're named Larry Craig or Rev. Haggerty.

Boring or not, I am glad that I did watch it, because I learned something. Until Laura Bush spoke last night, and so eloquently gave us FACTS. I had no idea that because of Bush's strong focus on education (No Child Left Behind) that minorities now score the highest on standardized testing than they ever have in history. Yeah, she said that! Who knew?!! Thanks to president Bush, minority children are smarter. And to think it only took 400yrs for a white person to care about our education. Say what you want about republicans; yeah they probably make for lame sex partners. But you can't deny the FACT that they're the shit when it comes to improving the education of minorities.

Thanks Mr. Bush

LOOKING BACK AT KATRINA

"Happy peanuts soar, over chocolate covered mountain tops and waterfalls of caramel, prancing nougat in the meadow sings a song of satisfaction to the world"

I don't know if you people ever heard of this one, but 2yrs ago, here in Memphis, this story was a big deal. A local church here in Memphis wanted to help victims of hurricane Katrina. They decided to purchase a home and select one displaced family to live in it with the hopes of providing them a new beginning. They purchased a $75,000 home and decided to give the home to a family who as it was reported,begged to be selected. These folks told the church that they liked it here in Memphis and they were gonna move in, and make this city home. Instead, they sold the home for $88,000 and jetted back to New Orleans.

When I heard this story,I was kinda like whoa! Why would somebody do such a thing? Why would somebody be so ungrateful? Well, as the story unfolded, it was reported that they (the church) gave the house to these people with no strings attached. They didn't sign a "contract" which legally bounded them to live in the house. So in my opinion, they could do what the hell they wanted with it once it was given to them.

Now I'm known to clown stupid people on here,but I've never clowned a church. Oh well there is a first time for everything. The church was pissed! They felt like they were played by these people. I say, fuck it...you gave them a blank check! I can't get mad at these people, but I can laugh at the church. Am I wrong? You tell me.

(Read the story here )

Moving right along...

Allow me to introduce you to 57-year old Jacquelyn Sherman. Jackie is a retired librarian from New Orleans. Like most there she lost everything in Hurricane Katrina. While living in a three-bedroom house with 26 OTHER PEOPLE the 1st month after Katrina Jackie decided to go shopping with her sister. On the way, they stopped in at a Casino where Jackie threw $20 in a slot machine and hit a $1.6 Million jackpot. This of course created the classic two sided debate...
What the hell is a Hurricane Evacuee doing gambling away their money?

Well I say...

GAMBLE THAT HURRICANE MONEY BABY!

I can only imagine the level of hopelessness that Jackie has been feeling the month after the hurricane. At some point you have to take a break from what has become your horrible existence and RELAX. Leaving religion out of this issue lets just breakdown why people gamble...adrenaline, that rush from almost winning. It's entertainment. You go to the movies...to be entertained. You go to a football game...to be entertained. So why not go and risk $20...to be entertained. At least at a casino you have a shot of winning back some of the money you wasted. Never have you spent $150 at Disney World and some guy gives you $75 on your way out. And the people that are pissed that she's out gambling while she has nothing, you're forgetting one small detail...ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!

You donated money to the Katrina cause and now you're mad because they aren't spending YOUR money the way you wanted them to. Get over it, Jesus will still give you full credit for donating money in the first place. If you really think every evacuee is a great person then you're lying to yourself. New Orleans is like any other city it's got some assholes. So just because you don't see anyone squandering their federal aid checks doesn't mean it's not happening. You give the money in good faith and walk away from the situation.

Let's take a look at Jackie's previous 45 days after the hurricane and decide if she should've been gambling. Jackie sat on a roof for 2-3 days for help that never came, probably waded through some waist high gumbo of turds, sewage, gasoline, and dead bodies to get to a corner store and steal some Crunch N Munch. On the fifth day she's finally airlifted to another city split up from her family, sleeping on a cold floor for days. She finally does find her family who's now living 26 deep in a 3 bedroom apartment. You ever taken a shower behind 25 PEOPLE! Do you know how many different hairs are on the soap by then? And lets not forget ol' Jackie doesn't have any new clothes or anything and she finally decides to do something to entertain herself. Something that'll get her mind off the horrible month she had last week. $20 on a slot machine. No different than the $20 you spent on beer and touch screen solitaire at the pool hall.

There's no need to criticize someone because you don't agree with how they choose to entertain themselves. Hell if it were up to me I'd rent a helicopter and drop strippers, alcohol and drugs to all the evacuees. Drugs, strippers, and gambling won't solve anyone's post-Katrina problems, but if doing something entertaining will get your mind off your problems for just a minute, doesn't that help you retain just a bit of your sanity?

The moral of the story...

SOMETHING GOOD COMES OUT OF EVERY BAD SITUATION.

P.S. Just ask Govenor Sarah Palin.

RACIST HURRICANES: THE WORK OF "THE MAN"

I dunno, but for some reason, everytime I hear the name "Gustav" on TV in reference to the hurricane, I picture Cheech Marin or a dirty pot smoking Mexican. No offense to my brown brothers and sisters reading this, because whenever they mention "Katrina", I think of a fat black chick who sells dope, babysits, and sells boosted clothes in the projects. Does that make me racist? Nope. But it sure does say alot about the National Weather Service. With the exception of hurricane Ivan, in recent years, the most devastating hurricanes have ethnic sounding names. I'm all about Affirmative Action and all, but why do we have to be the fucked up hurricanes? Who's the person naming these hurricanes, Bill O'Reilley?

And have you noticed that the fucked up/ethnic hurricanes all go to the "hood", or as its better known...New Orleans? I'm thinking you black people need to chill with that Jesus was black thing because clearly, his white daddy doesn't like it. I know you probably think I'm a loon for thinking this. But hey, have you given any thought to who we see standing on a beach reporting on the news while the wind blows at 700mph while it rains? Well, it damn sure ain't black people; its always a white guy. Its funny to me how they manage to broadcast and give us the idea as to the danger of the hurricane, as they try to stay completely vertical as they speak over the roaring wind. If it was a black guy, I'm pretty sure he'd be saying something like...

"RUN MUTHAFUKAS...THIS SHIT CAN KILL YOU!!"

Now I could probably suggest that white folks are crazy, and do crazy shit like that as opposed to black people. But to do that would be wrong, and just down right racist on my part. So hey, you'll never hear that from me. The truth is, those white dudes you see reporting from hurricanes are all doing the work of God, and that's why they never die while doing it. This is why I say that there's a conspiracy with this. You never see a white dude on CNN standing next to a tornado as it destroys Kansas now do you? But conveniently, you see them in New Orleans braving the weather, and running the risk of drowning to show the destruction of the hood.

Just once I'd like to see one of them get hit by a flying coconut, or maybe even a tree. But lord knows that would never happen. Why would it when you're doing the work of the lord. Besides, God has your back when you're a republican. Just ask George Bush, or the people who prayed that it would rain on Obama's speech last week. But hey, I could be way off base with the ethnic name thing. I could be just trippin. However, my train of thought could be a good argument for them to give hurricanes last names. The given last name could be used as a measure for destructiveness, or eminent danger. Trust me, if I knew that hurricane Leroy Jenkins was on its way to Memphis, my black ass would be the first one running for the hills.