Monday, April 6, 2009

Goonette: How LL Cool J Ruined It For Black Women

Houston, we have a problem. No not you Whitney, I’m talking about us Black people. More specifically, I'm speaking about young urban Black men and women in our culture. Ok, so where do I start. Last week one of my readers sent me a video which was a trailer for an upcoming TV reality show by the rapper known as Plies.

The upcoming show is called Goonette. You see, according to Plies of the now infamous “Buss It Baby” fame, here’s the definition of a Goonette:

  • Strong, independent woman.
  • A woman who embodies and exudes confidence.
  • A woman who is able to overcome trials and tribulations set before her with style and grace.
  • Female hustler.
  • A survivor.

Ok, so as defined above by Plies, a Goonette is pretty much the embodiment of what a “Strong Black Woman” is all about, right? By definition, these are all positive characteristics, right? Ok, so if this upcoming show is as defined to be an uplift to womanhood, or Black womanhood in particular, why even use the term Goonette? I mean, since when did being a “goon” become a positive image? Oh I get it, being a GOONETTE is a step up from the whole bitches & hoes thing. Also, if you are really trying to promote positive images of women, would this be the lead-off trailer for your show?

Check it out:

Now, if you’re a single mother female stripper, that’s your problem. No, I can’t fault you for being a midget; personally, I think that’s God’s idea of a practical joke. However, being a single mother who has to resort to stripping to survive? Umm, you get no love worthy of enrichment from me, especially if you're proud enough of that to be on TV. I mean, I've heard of women using what they got to get what they want; however, I never thought a woman could or would ever use being a midget to her advantage. But hey, once this show is aired, I suppose my two teenage daughters are supposed to look to this woman as an inspiration.

I know that all Black women can’t all be Michelle Obama. But damn, a single mother who happens to be a midget stripper? A woman who is the embodiment of female empowerment? Really?!! C’mon Plies, this is just another form of Blaxploitation. Hell, the fact that this woman is as short as she is being a midget and all, it could be seen as borderline child abuse. What? I’m just sayin?!! The shit is fucked up, it’s not right, and it's indicative of a larger problem in our society.

Sadly, this woman doesn’t even realize that she’s being exploited because she is vertically challenged. Ok, so I’m trying to be politically correct and not call her a midget, ok? But she clearly has no problem being the bearded lady at the carnival sideshow as she said. Be that as it may, people are going to make money off of her as they are already. So who’s to blame for all of this? Hip Hop, men, women, society, racism, sexism, slavery, who, or what? Some of you may say it’s her or women in general, and some may tend to think it’s all the fault of men. Well, I say it’s a combination of all of the above.

However, if I have to place the blame on any one thing or person specifically, I’d say it’s all the fault of LL Cool J. Yeah that’s right; LL Cool J is to blame. You see, if he never made the song “I Need Love” none of this would be happening. First off, if he hadn't’t made that song, there would be no Plies with all his silly ass songs on the airwaves appealing to immature women, young and old. Let’s face it, if there was no “I Need Love”, there would be no “Buss It Baby”, no “Goonette”, and definitely no Black midget strippers on TV.

You see LL Cool J is the reason for all the misogyny in Hip Hop. Back then, he tapped into an open market that was women. It’s because of him women all feel the need to gain attention from silly Negroes like Plies. Yup, it's because of LL Cool J, that Plies looks like his breath stinks in the pic above. And you know what? Just like LL, females are loving this guy. Now all of a sudden, all these young women wanna be Goonettes. Face it folks, "I Need Love" has totally fucked up our culture. Yup, just wait and see how "The Stanky Leg" plays itself out in the future.

LL Cool J said he needed love and look at what happened, he got a TV show. So who is Plies to be any different. Don’t blame Plies, blame LL Cool J. Yes, because women feel the need for love attention, they are willing to degrade themselves the way they do. Or be as blinded as this woman to not know that’s exactly what she is doing to herself. And you see, there are men who capitalize on that. Yes, and people complain about the usage of bitches and hoes in hip hop lyrics, but they fail to realize that there are women who answer, and hold themselves to these terms stereotypically. All of this goes to show, that just like all women, midgets need love too, but all love ain't real love.


Anonymous said...

Dontchu be talkin bad about Cool James! LOL

alicia banks said...


i love yor blog because you
you are a master at sarcasm and parody

i know you are kidding about ll

i adore ll

the real midget here is that fool plies
he is a mental midget

and ditto to all u penned herein!!!

anyone who wants to be any kind of goon is a fool

plies and his "show" are a disgrace ll to and all real rappers/parents

all of this pimp/ho/stripper/thug/thugette... bs is tired and toxic

it has led to the death of generations and the rot of an entire music genre

see more in:
diallo songs
pimping past the revolution

alicia banks

i quit my job as a teacher because too many goons and goonettes are turbo breeders:
the impending doom of a nation

Mista Jaycee said...

(Laughter) LOLL! OH MY God! U Sick! I blamed it on Kenny G but LL is just as good!

Marrell said...

"Hell, the fact that this woman is as short as she is being a midget and all, it could be seen as borderline child abuse."

**Flatline** LMAO you are hiliarious and I am so glad you pointed that out. When I saw the guy in the video pick her up like she was a little doll (child) I was ready to call Chris Hansen. That was creepy as hell, I'm sorry. I know I am not a man but how she is walking away with all the other girls money?! Sexy? Really?

Euterpe Muse said...

Goonette?!! Gimme an effin break!
Poor woman doesn't even know that its not supposed to be this way. Heaven help her children.

MacDaddy said...

Rippa: Thanks for the good post and the knowledge...

I keep wondering what Dr. King would say if he had come back on the 41st anniversary of his assassination: what would he think of Plies, LL Cool J, all the strip clubs that have opened up ATL, some not far from his home, and the neighborhood in which I used to live...

Rippa: If he came back, I'm not sure he would want to stay long. Blessings. Keep layin it down.

Dirty Red said...

Man you are a fool. Blame it on LL huh? Yeah maybe...
But what about 2 Live Crew? If it wasn't for them talking bout 'Head Head and mo Head', ignant nukkas like Plies would not have a job.

But man don't knock the midget strippers.

I saw a couple of vertically challenged girls on a couple sites that could get it.
And I am sure that you have noticed the badonkqa donk on most midget women.

Come on man admit it. LOL. I ain't gonna tell nobody.

Anonymous said...

LOL! Keepin' it real for the sista's...

There is lot messed up stuff out there...


Seattle Slim said...

Great post, Rippa!!!

Lola Gets said...

You know, Oprah had that show about womens sexuality and how important being desired is to a woman, so some might could say that that is the driving force behind some womens' stripping jones...but I might be overthinking this, hehehe.


Iam Robert said...


First, let me say I'm glad to have come across your blog. And this post is great! To me, you have made several excellent points in a very clever way. First, the media is exploiting black folk, both men and women. Second, the media is portraying some of us at our worse and trying to convince the rest of us that this is the way black folk live. On this point I'm concerned that whites may (or probably want to believe) this. Finally, you are absolutely right--there are some things that you may have to do to survive, but you shouldn't be proud that you allowed yourself to get into said predicament.

I think there needs to be a reality show about choices. First, they could show a young person’s life who has made poor choices. Then, they could walk through key times in their lives and show how a better choice would improve their lives. That would be cool...and worth watching.


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