Thursday, June 24, 2010

Right-Wing Religious group says Gulf oil spill is God's punishment for Barack Obama

So have you heard the latest reason to explain the BP Gulf oil leak? Well, much like anything catastrophic that happens, God is involved. Yeah, you know the same God who released his wrath in the form of an earthquake on those Voodoo worshiping Haitians earlier this year? Uh-huh, the same God who used Hurricane Katrina to punish "the gays" of New Orleans in 2005? Yep, I'm talking about that loving God

Well according to a group who calls themselves Generals International, the Gulf oil spill is God's punishment because of Barack Obama's poor treatment of Israel. Yeah I know, right? Israel? Shit, is Barack and Farrakhan buddies or sumthin? Well anyway, according to these loons, Cindy and Mike Jacobs of Generals International in their webcast, God is pretty pissed off because Obama has disrespected the state of Israel:


I guess this is all plausible especially since Obama is a Kenyan born Muslim and all, right? I mean maybe this explains why Obama decided to side with Israel against the UN in regards to an international investigation of the recent flotilla incident. Maybe Obama was trying to get back in the good graces of God by doing that.But then God said, "I'll show these fools," and then in the blink of an eye, the Deep Water Horizon Exploded.

Yep, forget all the talk of BP's incompetence, greed and deregulation. Yeah, forget that crap because the truth is the Lord works in mysterious ways. And because he is who he is, he chooses special people who just happen to be religious fundamentalists to hit 'em with a text message to say, "you betta let these fools know, son!" Yeah, I'm sure Helen Thomas is somewhere saying ten Hail Mary's as she tries to prevent Iowa from being hit by a tsunami.

Ironically, this very group sponsored and participated recently in a May Day 2010 prayer rally in-spite of recent financial troubles. Of course God stepped in and through his magic they were able to secure a $15,000 matching grant. But as you know, God's work isn't cheap, nor does he have the cash. I guess this would explain why on the webcast they were seeking donations to fight off the attacks from a demonic vortex they're currently battling, that is trying to shut them down.


Sadly, Rev. Jeremiah Wright couldn't be reached for comment.

Apture

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