Sunday, September 26, 2010

Fuck Boys: Will We Ever Talk About Sexually Abused Males In The Black Community?

By Tracy Renee Jones

I love to learn about people. I will sit and ask you intimate questions and will answer your intimate question just as easily. I often ask the guys I am friends with about their first sexual experience. I found it interesting that nearly every guy told me that his first sexual experience was at a very early age.

The cirsumstances are not those of self sexual exploration. Instead, sex was often directed by someone older, be it a older female babysitter, or family member (both male and female).

One of the most disturbing things I ever heard was an ex who told me that at 8 years old his baby sitter fondled him until he was erect and then instructed him to have sex with her. He said he felt 'funny' and jumped up in just as he was ejaculating. He said seeing and feeling it made him scared. He thought the baby sitter caused him to injure himself; he thought something was wrong.

Though maybe not probable; it is possible that the actions of the babysitter could have potentially caused this eight year old boy to father a child. The same kid is now 14 and befriends a young woman who lives in his apartment building. He takes her son to get his hair cut; she invites him to her apartment to play video games. He likes the little boy, and it's like having a kid brother.

He's now selling drugs, but because he can't come home to his two job working mother with drug money; he spends money on little boy and offers money to the young woman because he feels sorry that the little boy has no father; he can relate.

Young woman soon begins a sexual relationship with the 14 year old, making him promise not to tell his mother about their little 'secret'. She gives him alcohol and marijuana; they have sex often. Though sexually immature, his older cousins taught him about condoms. She refused to use one telling him that he'll enjoy it better without one.

Another ex of mine, played high school football for a very prestigious and competitive all boys high school. In addition to the normal excessive abusive manner in which some coaches 'train' male athletes, this coach in particular had special sessions that included play time in exchange for sexual incentives.

At some point a student made a complaint, the coach (who was part of the "brotherhood" of school administrators) or something creepy and complicated like that. Once the scandal broke, I asked my ex how shocked were the parents and administration. "They knew; everybody knew,", he said.

I asked did the coach ever proposition him. He said they had a verbal altercation once, and my ex refused to back down. During the heated exchange my ex implied that he was willing to spill the 'team' secret.

The coach it seemed, offered to barter playing time to those less athletically competitive boys. It was rumored that the coach was willing to negotiate sexual favors with any boy who needed to 'buy' time on the playing field (because high school football buys college tuition...AND proud braggin rights!).

My ex was a star player, and felt that he had been treated unfairly. He threatened to expose the coach's conduct. The coach gave in and they had no further altercations or discussions after that point.

But the 'team' secret lived on until later, when the coach was quietly dismissed after an impressive display of empathetic bulletins and mandatory parent administration meetings as a prelude to the coach's removal.

Did you see the Youtube video of the toddler fingering and (literally) penetrating a naked teenage girl. Both she and another girl directed the little boy as he humped her and slapped her ass.

At least three people were involved in the taping of this video, the two girls and the camera person. It's no loner online but I'm very sorry to say that....I saw it.

One thing about me... I notice bullshit. I don't have to point it can show me some bullshit and I'll yay or nay it. Here's some bullshit: The African American community (for you P.C. people) doesn't care to discuss sex, sexuality, homosexuality and it dam sure doesn't promote discussion about child sexual abuse.

Oh, no..we like to Step in the Name of Love. But what's even more funky is that when those few people who do acknowledge and discuss child sexual abuse often leave out a sector of victims; and that would be...

Little Boys.... aka "Fuck Boys" (In the Cool Hip Hop Circles)

(n.) A person who is a weak ass pussy that ain't 'bout shit.

(n.) a person of the male gender that is in jail and is being used as an item. The term usually applies more to convicts on the smaller or younger side, who cannot defend themselves in the "clink". They usually get raped in their cells or in the shower. Sometimes, there is a ring of fuck boys, in which these people are passed around from the bigger, badder convicts, so they don't get raped by "strangers". They also do it for the everyday protection of the very bad things in jail. These fuck boys are also referred to as "bitch".

Black boys who are modest about their sexuality run the risk of ridicule; we expect them to be sexual and sexually active with one if not several conquests and if they aren’t then they’re GAY. The same way I don’t want my sex and sexuality held up to public scrutiny and wouldn’t want to feel that I must adhere to some preexisting standard of behavior in order to be considered normal. I believe Black males may want the same privacy and room to be human beings and not walking brown phallus.

Those black boys who are in any way different from the basic hyper aggressive model of masculinity run the risk of being classified as homosexual, and in the black community that label is one of the worse insults anyone can be hit with. Though all cultures have their own biases and people have their personal opinion of homosexuality, Blacks in general simply deal with our issues with sexual differences by ignoring the situation and therefore ignoring the person.

A black boy that is labeled to be homosexual becomes invisible. How many boys are shunned because they don’t fit the mold of masculinity and are considered gay, when in fact they are not? Does this sexual ambiguity cause them to embrace homosexuality as a way of finding identity? Does the way we handle homosexuality within the Black community assist these black boys in their (further) confusion of who they are and how they fit into our social structure?

Shall I even mention the lack of homosexual Black male role models needed for homosexual boys available to provide support for them? They are plenty of gay Black men, but you can’t see them, they’re in the closet living lives married and pretending to the best of their ability to be a (hetero) Black man.....multiple pussy partners and plenty of illegitimate children included.

Not every black boy that was sexually abused becomes an abuser but one must wonder how much of this behavior early in a black boys life contributes to the anger some Black men feel toward women, sexuality is an excuse used to justify the excessive force used to rear our black boys and our willingness to negate of our image of what it means to be a Black male to that of a talking, dancing, party happy dick.

And that right there is some bullshit.


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