Well, you all will be happy to know that the supposed "obesity epidemic" among teenagers has NOTHING TO DO with the fact that there are fast food restaurants on just about every corner of every city in the country. It is TOTALLY UNRELATED to the ever increasing number of processed, high fat, low nutrition products available on supermarket shelves. Parents, it is NOT YOUR FAULT that your kid is getting fat, because it is has NOTHING TO DO WITH the chicken nuggets and pizza you are feeding him three meals a day Nope... the truth is... it is all the fault of..... THOSE DAMNED ILLEGALS!!!
Yes, it is true!! Those pesky Mexicans are making American kids fat!!! According the the Center for Immigration Studies, the REAL REASON kids in the US are getting fatter is because of ILLEGALS who are coming in and... gasp... mowing our lawns!! Because the truth is, mowing lawns was what was keeping American kids fit in past generations. Not running around with their friends outside! Not playing sports! Not moving, jumping and playing in real life instead of in a video game! Nope, it was MOWING LAWNS that did the trick!
See, now you all can breathe a sigh of relief. It is NOT OUR FAULT that American kids are fatter than ever! Not at all! Forget about telling your kids to shut off the TV and the video games and go play outside. Don't bother encouraging them to play sports either. And fast food? Feel free to feed your kids Mickey D's and Burger King every night of the week, because THAT IS NOT WHY THEY ARE OBESE!!! Nope... the reason your kids are fat is because some damn Mexican is stealing their jobs mowing lawns and delivering newspapers!
So, if we get rid of all of those pesky illegals, apparently, our kids will start mowing the lawn and raking leaves again, and magically all of those pounds they put on will just drop right off!
And oh yeah, there will be less traffic, lower gas prices, and more effective schools! Who knew the solution to all of our woes was so simple???