Thursday, March 4, 2010

Mo'Nique has an open marriage, and...

When I heard that Mo'Nique was married or got married I was crushed. What can I say, I've always been attracted to her and thought she was sexy as hell; and I swear, I would kick Oprah Winfrey's ass to the curb if Mo' ever gave me the time of day (sorry Oprah). See I heard she kicked it with Gerald Levert, so naturally a big bonededed brotha like me just knew he had a chance, right? But she got married and not being one to break up a happy home I figured it was best to crush on her from afar, knawmean? But then yesterday I read this and it has given new life to my infatuation with the woman:
In Barbara Walter's annual Oscar Special, nominee Mo'Nique revealed her open marriage with husband Sidney Hicks isn't quite so open. "Let me say this," she said. "I have not had sex outside my marriage with Sidney."

But the same might not be true for him, NY Daily News reports. "Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me?" the 'Precious' star asked. "Yes. That's not a deal-breaker. That's not something that would make us say, 'Pack your things and let's end the marriage.'"

Even if it happened more than once, Mo'Nique said she wouldn't hold it against him. "What if it's 20 times? So what?" she said. "We've been best friends for over 25 years, and we truly know who we are. Oftentimes, people get into marriages and they don't know who they're laying next to. I'm very comfortable and secure with my husband." (source)
Damn, its like that Mo'? F'real?!! Holla at the kid, Ma! Nah I'm just playin, y'all. Trust me, I'm happily married, and no, Mrs. RiPPa isn't into the sharing thing or as "open" as my girl Mo'Nique is with hers. But hey if it works for them who am I to judge, right? Unfortunately, not everyone thinks like me, and is of the same opinion (which is too bad because life would be better for them if they did).

On my Facebook profile I asked for thoughts on this revelation and I was kinda surprised by some of the views expressed (I was shocked that this was old news for some - how come I didn't know?). In particular, some people didn't agree with her choice and suggested that she obviously has self esteem issues. If you ask me, I think it all boils down to the fact that muthaf*ckas don't like seeing black folks happy; especially married black folks; which explains all the headlines like Mo'Nique says hubby is allowed to cheat . Personally I think most people chalk it up to a low self esteem issue simple because she's a big girl. I mean, why would they assume that she has low self esteem based on this information?

I mean, if let's say Beyonce, or some other relatively "skinny chick" in the entertainment industry came out saying the same thing would that same rationale prevail? It probably would; but, if it were Beyonce or any other "skinny chick", everyone would be talking about her being a freak rather than being an insecure woman with low self esteem. Hell, its been rumored that Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett-Smith are a little bit on the freaky side and entertain threesomes; however, nobody has asserted that Jada's fine ass as just another insecure woman desperate to keep a man. But here we are and the black woman's secret to keeping a man is to never shave your legs, and allow him to cheat. Obviously some black women just don't get it and in steps Joey Greco:

Now the funny thing about how the mind works is how we've internalized what Mo' said in that interview. Basically, with  just that little bit of information, people are coming off as if her husband is running around the country sticking his dick in every women he comes across. Yep, he's out being a playa (or cheater) while Mo'Nique unhappily sits at home taking out her frustrations on "Precious" as she swings frying pans around. Now mind you, it wasn't revealed that he has knowingly had sex with anyone outside of their marriage. But yet he's cast as the brotha taking advantage of a weak minded sista, because, well, all sistas are "strong" and would never (knowingly) subject themselves to that type of shit, right?

Listen people, the only difference between Mo'Nique and regular people in my opinion is that she's a celebrity who put some personal shit out there. Please believe, there are regular people who are quite happy with this type of arrangement in their marriages. Yep, and I happen to know a couple of them personally. And to be honest, the people who subscribe to the open marriage policy do not run around making public proclamations as Mo'Nique has in her interview with Barbara Walters. See Danielle Belton's post at The Black Snob on this subject to understand. But lets stick with what Mo' said, and given her rationale, is it really a bad thing? If she's comfortable with an open relationship, what's the big deal?

You tell me...


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