Wednesday, August 19, 2009

And on the 7th day, God made Brett Favre

Evolutionists and creationists may not agree on very much. But the one thing they do agree on is that God did not rest on the seventh day. No, who needs rest when you're God. Instead of lying around watching tractor-pull what God did on the seventh day was to create Brett Favre. That's right, and then immediately after that he created Vince Lombardi and Lambeau Field; and hence the Green Bay Packers. Listen, RiPPa is a serious Green Bay Packer fan. Even so, I'm excited that old number four is back to give it a go for his 20th season.

Ok yeah, some of you are disgusted about all the media hype, and the on again off again retirement. Yeah, I understand how some of you think he's trying to take Mike Vick's moment in the spotlight. But did any of you get tired or expressed your disgust at that dude Jesus Christ when he woke up from the dead? No you guys didn't, and him walking out of that grave was the best thing for you believers. Well see, Brett Favre is to football what Jesus Christ is to Christians. Yes, I love that man and I believe in him. Truth be told, he's probably the only White man in the world that I would ever fellate. Ok, forget that I said that last line and understand that to me, he's omnipotent and I'm a huge fan. Sure he's from Mississippi and may be a closet Klansman, but do I have to hold that against him?

So while I sit back and watch people vent their frustrations with the guy, just know that RiPPa is ecstatic. Hell I even picked him in a Fantasy Football league this past weekend before the big announcement of his return. Sure it's gonna be hard cheering for the Vikings and the Packers who are both in the same division. But hey, you cannot beat the subplot. As a football fan you gotta love the fact that Brett Christ has a chance to compete and go up against his old team this year especially after the way they pretty much dumped him about a year ago. Yeah, they dumped him, and I don't wanna hear jack about indecision and Brett either. But that's ok, hell people shitted on Jesus Christ too as he walked to his death. Yes, and some people are of the opinion and are actually wishing that Brett meets the same demise.

Uh huh, I've read comments from people who would love to see nothing more than his failure or some season ending injury. As a fan of the game I cannot understand how a person would wish for the injury of a player if their last name doesn't rhyme with Homo. Commentary like that, though disheartening just makes me more pumped to see old number four prove everyone wrong. From all accounts the Minnesota Vikings are excited and I'm actually happy for them. Because seriously, arriving in town is nothing but another blessing from God sorta like when Reggie White signed with Green Bay back in the day. Yes, I'm thinking the Minnesota Vikings would love nothing more than to be contenders and have people forget about that infamous boat ride from a few years ago.

Yeah, all of you people hatin' on Favre are just racist. Oh wait, you didn't think I was gonna get through this post without pulling the race card? C'mon, you know what this blog is about. So yeah, all of you Negro Favre haters are racist. Michael Jordan came back twice and none of you said shit. Then y'all talk about how Brett is an old man, but yet cheered for George Foreman when he came out of retirement at the age of seventy five and was knocking heads off. Hell, most of you still cheered when Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was throwing up skyhooks when he was ninety three. Come to think of it, it's not only a race thing, it's an age thing as well. I say give the ole boy a chance, and stop hatin' on him because he's White and not Black like Jesus.


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