Tuesday, August 25, 2009
DID YOU KNOW: 17% of heterosexual males use vibrators on themselves? Ladies: Do you know where your vibrator has been?
No seriously, did you even know that? I didn't but I heard it on the radio this morning as the result of a recent study conducted at Indiana University. I thought it was funny hearing the results of this "booty-breaking" study on The Tom Joyner Morning Show of all places. I'm just saying, you know how the Black community is sensitive about anything perceived to be homosexual. Oh c'mon, don't front; I'm sure when you read the title to this post you had images of some gay dude playing hide the salami with himself just like I did.
I'm sorry, but that's just the culture within which we live. Let's be honest here, we men in this perpetual patriarchal society all have that secret pornographic fantasy to come home from a hard days work, only to walk in on a woman pleasuring herself. Oh don't tell me I'm the only one who has thoughts like that?!! But anyway, I'd like to think that this is not a secret fantasy for women. I could be wrong, but I doubt a woman would be comfortable or dare I say turned on by walking in on her man pleasuring himself with a vibrator. Talk about an awkward moment, right?
But hey, 17% is a relatively low number, but still significant when you think of it. I mean, if you're a woman my age (I'm 39yrs old) you've probably had sexual encounters with about at least 50 different guys. Oh yeah, and don't sit there trying to fool me when you respond to this insisting that having sex with 50 different guys at that age is extreme. Ok, so maybe 20 different guys. But still, that would mean that at least 3 of them pleasure themselves with vibrators. And that's not counting the one bi-sexual dude who you were always suspicious of.
Can you now imagine going back through the archives and trying to figure out which of the guys you slept with who may have done something like this? Scary isn't it? Even scarier is the thought that he may have used your vibrator a time or two. Actually, what it does is put a whole new perspective on masculine perceptions. No for real it does. From here on out you're going to look at men differently. Am I wrong ladies? But hey, it's been said that knowing is half the battle. That said, you women need to figure out a way to squeeze the "do you use vibrators on yourself," question in speed dating sessions or at the nightclub on weekends after a guy buys you drinks.
QUESTION: How would you feel walking in on your man using a vibrator on himself?